Is there an ideal spacing between siblings?

Hi ladies!  

My husband and I have a 15 month old son and we are trying to concieve (conceive) again.  I was just wondering if anyone had any input on age spacing between children.  I have a friend that has 3 children - 5,4,and 1.  She says that her 4 and 5 year old fight constantly and that she find the 3 year space between her youngest two to be the best.  Any advice would be great.   Thanks!!

[jd1419]

Mine are 20 months apart--they get along for the most part--in the beginning it was a litle trying--but for the most part it has been wonderful to have them close together.  My sister and I were three years apart and still fought like cats and dogs--so I don;t know if there is an ideal spacing other than your preference and whether you want two in diapers.

[sarubers]

jd1419 is right. I would say having two in diapers might be a little difficult. My son is 5, so there will be a 5 1/2 year difference. He doesnt care that I am pregnant. At first he was a little annoyed with it, then he was bummed about having a sister. He wanted a brother. But now he points out babies when we are out. He says "look mommy a baby! She's sooo cute isnt she!" So I think I did good with the spacing. Now I have a little helper. Plus he is going to kindergaden in Aug, so I will get to have some alone time with the baby.

[rubyolivia]

My brother and I are 8 years apart and we pretty much grew up as "only children". I always loved him, but I just wanted to him to be older and closer to my age. I think that there isn't really an ideal spacing in general....just based on personal preferance. I intend to have mine as close to 2 years apart as possible, so they will be close...but with any luck at all my older child will be out of diapers or pull ups so I won't have 2 in diapers! :)

[AndiJ78]

It all depends on you and your needs. For us, we felt 2.5 years was ideal. Our boys get along, but are far enough apart to have somewhat separate lives when they get into school.

Andi

[cutiemama]

I've read that 3 years apart is most ideal for the parents and the siblings.

[mgi]

i think everyone is different

BUT i truly believe the closer in age the better for the kids

someone once said "the greatest gift you can give your child is a sibling"   I so believe that

Mine will be 18 months apart

in my family growing up - where there were gaps between kids the sibs don't get along nearly as well as when they were less tha 18 months apart

[poohfan]

I HAVE 2 SONS THAT WILL BE 13 AND 10 IN AUGUST,AND IM NOW 10 WEEKS, WOW TEN YEARS ,NOW THATS SPACING. I THINK ITS NEVER TO SOON OR LATE, BEST OF LUCK TO U

[tiredbuthappy]

i am one of 5. there was 2 years btw my older brother and me, 1.5 btw me and my next brother, and 2 years btw him and my third brother. My little sister was born 10 years later (second marriage). i always loved having someone to play with. it's true that we fought, but we were never alone. and now that most of us are adults, you truly appreciate the relationship you develop as you get older. it's also true that we didn't have all of the luxuries that some of my friends had (like own tv's etc...), and there was plenty of rivalry and problems, i still wouldn't trade my childhood for anything.

i say do what you think is best for your family! i personally plan to have my kids rather close together like my mom did (although perhaps not as many kids!), simply because i can concentrate my efforts on raising them, and then once they're school-aged, focus on my career.

[Crritter]

I agree, you need to do what you feel is best.  My son is 3 & 1/2 and I am due with his brother in a few weeks.  It's nice because we are way past diapers with my son, he sleeps well, he eats well, can tell you what he wants or needs and can help himself.  He also doesn't need to be carried as much or lifted much either, makes it a lot easier when you start to et big and uncomfortable.  He is really excited for his baby brother too.  I meant to get them a little closer (about 3 years apart), but had a m/c and had to start again.  My big sis just had her 3rd and last one and they keep her running.  Her little guy just turned 4 and she has a little girl that will be 3 in a few months and now a newborn.  She has not had time to potty train either of the two and is still struggling with that, so 3 in diapers.  She has battle over the bottle and has to keep taking the baby's bottle away fro the other 2.  I know she is exhausted and has has even said that it's hard to have them all so young right now.  Just depends on the person and the child I guess.  Anyway, good luck to you.

[Draco9793]

The only advice I would give is make sure you have more than 1 child! I grew up as an only child and felt SO isolated and was socially awkward for a long time - it was a terrible experience that I would never wish on anybody so I am glad you're thinking about conceiving again. :)