Is this being selfish ?

Hi Ladies-
As we allknow we are all trying hard for that bouncing baby!
I am one of them. LOL
I have a quesstion it ahs been buggin me all day after i ahd a conversation with a friend.
My side of the family is expecting in the summer. I don't knkow the date nor month. It was a "surprise". The couple are young.
ok. I have two ds, but i want 1 more. And tht is that! I am an older mom. And, we ahve been ttc. long-long before i found out. I am happy for them.
Though, this lady (friend ) of mine i told her the news, and she was like "oH no, i sugest you don't have one now. Meaning? I asked her.
No-No . That is thier 1st child ectra ectra. I don't live with them, this is for my family not theres.???
I told her i am not trying to steal anyones' limelight. She knows i ttc for awhile. So waht would yu do. Go with teh flow and bd and ttc. Or not?!
I told her i really still want one. This is my familly i amthe one who will be taking care of it none else!
Why you think she changed gears on me like that AND do you think i am being sooooo selfish?!
I know this is long but i am a bit wee down.
Thanks loads of baby dust to you all^^^^

[kbrownhh]

No you are not being selfish at all.  Like you said, this is for you and your family and nobody else. If this is something you have been wanting and trying for for a while, I wouldn't change a thing.  

If you get pregnant soon, then the little ones will have somebody their age to play with at family get togethers.  I know I never had anybody my age at family functions and it would have been nice!  Not that that is a reason to have a baby either.

I think it was out of line to suggest you wait just b/c somebody in your family is expecting.  Nobody monopolizes the right to get pregnant!

[aimntrev]

I don't think that is selfish at all! I'm not being in my friends wedding because she didn't want a pregnant bridesmaid (and thats fine it's her decision) and I didn't want to wait to ttc. It would have worked out fine I would have given birth and the wedding would have been 4 months later, but I lost that baby and now I'm due 5 weeks before her wedding. We are still friends. And I understand where she was coming from and she knows how badly my hubby and I want a child. You and your hubby should go for it =) You both want a baby, and it can take time for it to happen, so in my opinion go for it you are not selfish for wanting a baby =)

[RockRose]

Your friend has some kind of weird issue,  I don't know what it is.  

I think it's fine if you keep trying - my middle son has a cousin within one month of his age on both sides of the family,  and it's been great.  The more you can pile on who are the same age,  the WAY better family reunions will be!  As is it,  each side of the family has kids who are close enough to all my kids to make really wonderful close companions,  and it adds a wonderful dimension to family get togethers for all of them.  

Best wishes,  I hope it happens soon for you.

[thendricks]

That's funny lol...That would be cool to have twins hehe

[CYW]

you are free to ttc. I mean from the sounds of it you have been trying for a while and what not and it's not your fault you havent gotten pregnant yet and she did and is expecting soon-There's plenty of love for all the babies-she may just be jealous and wants her baby to receive all of the attention..Go with the flow I would suggest and BD lots...Baby Dust to you:)

[thendricks]

That doesn't make sense to me, you keep trying! It's not like you just wnat one b/c they are having one, I say don't let ppl's opinions effect you and your choice, it's your baby and your life. Good luck and I hope it happens soon for ya :-) God bless

[Wooly25]

I would say that yes you have been trying and maybe this month will be the month, and if you put it off, then you may miss out and miss a good opportunity.  If it's not ment to happen this month it won't but you won't know unless you try.  I would see her point a little more if say your sister was pregnant or something, but then what would be the right amount of time to wait, till the baby is two months old, or a year old.  I mean it's a free country, and it's your choice, I say go for it, and enjoy the gift if you get one, but just don't gloat (by the way you don't sound like you are someone that would do this) but some people would.  Maybe your friend would be jealous if someone got pregnant when she did.

[browneyedsarah]

Even if them having one made you want another...who cares!! There is no "rule" against what makes you want children...there are soo many things that can just make you stop and think hmmm...I want another one.  If everyone on the planet waited to have kids bc they knew someone who just did or had a family member that did...there would be no babies bc someone is always having a child..your friend is a moron...who even thinks like that?

[pertykitty]

some people just want to be in the limelight all by themselves i suppose. weird though , she isnt your sister, just a friend right? maybei read that wrong. you have different families, and she has plenty to "focus" on here. forget her! do what you want. i know have twins and show her up lol im just kidding. good luck!

[ImmortalOne]

No!  You are not being selfish!  Just because you are trying for your 3rd baby does not mean you are taking away the limelight from anyone having their 1st (that's rather hard to do lol!).  Do what you and your DH have chosen to do for your family, its that simple.  

[peapod2351]

Thanks guys for the advice. As soon as I heard the way shew as talking to me. I went on autopilot and decided i shouldn't. But then who is she? Everyday families have babies and to each thier own.
But i am NOT taking anything away from them! Yes it is in the family but it's not like i see them everyday!
Though, the case is i have  been ttc me and dh. And though this is her 1st and i am ttc for 3, i am a bit older than she. So my instincts tell me to go! Regardless, let evreyone think what they want! But the the  other half of me, is why  this friend did a 180 on me by saying why she changed her tune. She is not jealous or anything she hAS  her family all grown up kids.She IS a grandma herself. BUT.. it is my sister who will be a grandma. So, she told me no no way. ?? (THE FRIEND) I was falbbergasted when she came out saying that! That maybe my sister would be mad or soemthing to THAT  effect. Which i don't think she would!! It 's my life ectra. I am not taking away anything from anyone!
AGain thanks and i hope this month is thee month!For all of us ttc.

[fustratedmum]

hey hey, i was just reading your blog and i was shocked to hear what your friend said, i am horrified. NO WAY should you stop trying for a baby because some one in your fammily has fell pregnant. At the end of the day you have a baby for yourself and fammily, its not about the attention side of it, your friend has a funny way of thinking lol. my advice is, GO FOR IT dont worry about wot other people think.

[fustratedmum]

hey hey, i was just reading your blog and i was shocked to hear what your friend said, i am horrified. NO WAY should you stop trying for a baby because some one in your fammily has fell pregnant. At the end of the day you have a baby for yourself and fammily, its not about the attention side of it, your friend has a funny way of thinking lol. my advice is, GO FOR IT dont worry about wot other people think.

[Crritter]

I agree with the others, you should try for your baby.  If we all took turns being pregnant...it would take forever!  I think it was not right for her to tell you to wait, maybe she wants the attention now,os could be that she's young and probably didn't think of how she worded it.  Also some people are so into the attention of being pregnant that they focus on that and don't think much of the baby till they get here.  It was pretty insensitive.  How would she have felt if you had said that to her, but I'm sure she didn't want to hurt your feelings, just didn't think it through.  Just keep trying and don't worry about it, if it happens, you and your family/friends will still be happy.  Babies are always an occasion to celebrate, there is no limit on happiness.  She'll come around and may find it nice to have someone to go through this with.  Good luck on ttc!  By the way, my sis and I were pregnant togehter twice, her son is 6 months loder than mine and her second son will be about 4 months older than this one.  We did just fine and our parents thought it was great!  All of hte grandkids are loved, nobody gets overshadowed.