It happend again was it my fault??

I had a m/c on 8/25.My d/h cousin & sil were pregnant too.Well after my m/c I was devistated and alittle envious of them b/c we were the same in weeks.Two weeks ago d/h cousin had a m/c and had a d/c.I tried to help her giving advice but thought maybe subconconsiously(sorry bad spelling)I had something to do with it.Well my sil found out she was preg & said well, gonna make dr. appt dont want to also m/c.I felt soooo bad, like if I had brought on this m/c streak.Well she went in for ger 8 week appt.And it wasen't viable and m/cing as we speak.This is the 3rd in a month.we have a biiiiig family and baby & pregnancys every year and never a m/c.Now I feel as though everybody faults me.They say well sense she had hers ,how wierd.I do feel like I had something to do with this.Has anyone had family mem. m/c so close together??Also how long to have sex after m/c?? cant ttc for 3 mos.Poor d/h its been 2 looong mos.And want to use condems not pills.I was on the nuva ring for 2 years & dont want to have to take any thing till ttc.Thanks sorry so long had to vent.LOL NANIS

[mslkpage]

Nanis, dear girl- this is NOT your fault. Look how many m/c's happen on here? It's just horrible luck that you all had one so close together, but it's just coincidence.

As far as waiting to ttc, you can use condoms, right? That's what we did when we had to wait. They are very effective in preventing pregnancy. Every now and then, you'll hear of someone getting pg using condoms, but not very often.

[SNORCHY]

I can understand how you might think all of this is your fault, but really it's not. I think I read that 1 in 3 pregnancies end in m/c so the odds are pretty high.
A few years back I was dating this guy who was a big Knicks fan. He thought that if he didn't really concentrate while watching the game, it would cause them to lose! Clearly, he didn't have that much power over the Knicks! So no matter how envious you were feeling (or no matter how badly my ex wanted the Knicks to win!) we just aren't in that much control of others! If we were, there'd be a lot of my ex boyfriends meeting with a terrible fate !(HAHA!) I really empathize with what you and your family is going through...I am going through a m/c too! Let's hope we all have better outcomes next time!

[Wooly25]

I don't think it's your fault either, I honestly think that it's pretty mean of them to even let you think it or to lead you into thinking it.  I wish we could will or pregnancies I would will mine to stay, I am sure along with alot of other women on here.  It almost sounds like your the cinderella of pregnancy in the family.  Everyone blames you when things go wrong in their life.  Well, lets just hope you are, and your little prince or princess comes first, before them.  That way you can show them your body is normal, and that your not their curse.  And that you can live happily ever after.  My father in law made a comment after my first mc that he was never going to have grandkids, or that my sister-in-law was going to have them first who has no intentions of getting pregnant in the near future was going to be first.  I wanted to scream at him and ask what the heck did I just go through, its not like I did that on perpose, some people are just rude and cold.  But now we are pregnant again and I try to show it in his face.  Good luck and now that your loved ones don't always know best, and that it's all up to God.  Just keep your hopes up for next time, I just prayed to go to lead my life and when he thought I was ready then to give me my baby.  After both losses alot of stuff has happened, so I know that it just wasn't the right time in my life.  And this time, this are going so awsome, everything is working out just perfect. knock on wood don't want to curse it.  But things are just falling into place.  And even if something happens, I know that my time will come or I will find a way to make a family someother way, through adoption or suragacy.  Good luck, and lots of baby dust your way.

[Wooly25]

sorry that was so choppy, I am a little tired.

[nanis]

Thanks I know I can always count on y'all to make me feel better!!!!!! god bless and sticky baby dust to all, LOL nanis

[Pippsquike]

Hey Nanis!

...seems we are so close in the same boat! lol

I too was on the Nuva ring before stopping to TTC.

I didn't want to get back on BC (and my dr agreed) to let my hormones get back to normal during this 3 month wait.
(and hubbys winey and doesn't like condoms) I ended up ordering some female condoms and said deal with it or do without. LOL
we are finding they actually aren't that bad....

[ticked]

alot of women MC their first pregnancy. It is very common. I think more common, dont quote me on that part, just seems that way

[Pippsquike]

Hey... wanted to share something with you,
I found something to help me focus....besides counting down days till my 3 months are up...
I started tracking my cycle at www.fertilityfriend.com
figured this would give me something else to do, and might be useful once I can start TTC again.

Hope you are feeling better,

Remember to smile!!

[CrystalO]

My triage nurse said up to 75% of first pregnancies end in miscarriage.  Please do not blame yourself for your relatives' miscarriages.  It's certainly not your fault and you have enough emotional stress without taking on the grief of two other people.  Take care of yourself and keep us posted!  I wish you the very best in the future.  God Bless!

[Esperanza/Hope]

I understan exactly how you feel I miscarried July 31st and a friend of mine was also pregnant her due date was 3 days after mine. When I begin to miscarry i was a little jealous of my friend and was dreading doing the baby stuff with her baby shower, watching her grow, hearing bout her ultra sounds etc. Well I found out on a monday i was begining to mc and I mc on the following monday. I hadn't spoken to her that whole time and when we finally spoke i found out she had mc on the exact same day as mine. I felt terrbile kinda guilty for not wanting to deal with her. But now I understand it was just a very weird coincendance.

[Elicam]

until I had my MC I didn't realise how many people it actually happened too. 1 week after I had mine, a friend of the families had one too. Then all these people started telling me their stories about their mc's. I didn't realise that it is so common. My SIL on the other hand told me that she was the only female in her family who had not miscarried. You are not responsible for anything going wrong with your cousin or sil's pregnancy. It had to happen, it could have happened to them before it happened to you, if it had would you blame them?

[Angelabee]

Nanis:  I'm so sorry for you loss and your pain.  None of this is your fault.  It just happened.  I wish I could take your pain away for you.  Feel better.

[Lea2001]

Just keep in mind that none of the pregnancies were viable from the beginning.  That's why nature selected them to cease.   Nothing that you did or could have done, thought, felt, or asked for would change that.

Just keep faith.  It will happen.