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Just Need A Little Advise
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Just Need A Little Advise

just this past june i went in for a checkup i was 31 weeks and 5 days and they couldnt find my babys heartbeat so i got over to the hospital and found out that she had passed away. i had to be enduced and gave birth to her June 18 at 6:36am, she was beautiful. 3lbs 16inches long. their were 2 knots in the cord and it was wrapped around her neck twice. it is SO hard. i always wanted a baby girl. im on meds and im in this class that meets once a month. im tryng to be strong for my 2 year old boy but everyone just doesnt understand the mothers side of this. i carried/felt her for 7 months, a baby girl was my dream. i want to TTC again not to replace her but to fill this emptyness. has anybody gone through something like this or know anyone who has and how long it took to get pregnant again. im definitly gonna wait alittle bit due to emotional issues because i dont want another miscarriage due to the stress, i know ill never forget what happened but if i were to get pregnant right now i would do nothing but worry. probably buy a heartbeat doppler for myself  to listen everytime i worry. lol but i was just wondering how long it took others because most people who are in this class had to go through fertility after their miscarriage because their bodies were so messed up afterwards they couldnt get pregnant naturally. im just full of different emotions and worries and was just looking for some advise. thank u guys
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127124_tn?1326739035
I'm sorry for your loss.   I think it takes some people longer than others to recover emotionally.   Your heart will tell you when it is the right time.   Good luck!
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162279_tn?1270604959
My heart is just aching for you as I read this. I lost a baby in Sep 2006 when I was 16 weeks pregnant. That was SO hard for me; so I can imagine how much harder to carry a baby even longer and lose her. And I didn't give birth to my baby--I had a D&C because he/she had passed weeks earlier and was too deteriorated to birth. I would imagine having to give birth is so much tougher.

I felt like you do though. I wanted to get pregnant immediately again---not to replace the baby that died, but to give me hope again. Something to be happy about again.
I got pregnant again 3 months after I lost that baby. He is now almost 10 months old. And like you mentioned, yes your next pregnancy will be harder as far as worrying. I worried the entire time. But the odds are in your favor. Very very rarely does a woman lose two babies in a row.Especially since your baby didn't have anything caused by genetics or health issues. It was just a fluke accident.

There is a lady on here named "nermineagain" who lost a baby girl at 36 weeks I believe. I am hoping she sees this and has some things she can tell you. She just barely gave birth to a baby boy a couple weeks ago.She worried a lot during her pregnancy too.

Again, I am just SO sorry this happened to you. It's so hard to imagine ever getting over it right now. And while you will never get COMPLETELY over it, as time passes the grief will lessen. And as you have more children your heart will be filled with joy from them.
Hang in there sweetheart. These things are so hard. You sound like you are strong and holding up okay.I am SO SORRY!!! *HUGS*
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Avatar_f_tn
I too am very sorry for your loss.  That was one of my biggest fears, and I think that alot of mommies worry about that, but there is nothing that you could have done.  I wish you all the best with your healing.  I think that have 2 kids is right, your heart will tell you when it is the right time.  Have you spoken with your doctor about your thoughts on ttc?
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Avatar_f_tn
hi firstly im sorry for your loss, back in april of this year i was 19 wks 5 days pregnant with my first and i went into premature labour but by the time i got to the hospital i was 8 cm dilated and there was nothing they could do to save my little boy...he was perfect in every way...ever since me and my partner have been trying to concieve (conceive)...no luck as of yet...it feels like my world had fallen around me so i can only imagine how awful it must be to lose your baby girl so far gone!! it is the worst experience any woman could go through and all i can do is wish you luck. keep me posted!
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145992_tn?1341348674
I'm so sorry for your loss.  There really isn't much I can say since I've never experienced a miscarriage, let alone a loss of a child so far into the pregnancy.  It sounds like you are doing all the right things as far as dealing with your grief and emotional issues first before trying to conceive.  Even if you got pregnant again it will never replace the child you loss but possibly it may help you to move on.  I think there should be no issue with you trying to conceive again after this.  Like BabyHardiman said, you should speak with your doctor and perhaps they can do an exam to see if you are physically capable of conceiving a child so soon after.  I think they may want you to wait a while until your body has time to fully heal.  Good luck with everything and I wish you all the best.
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