Just being Selfish and need to VENT!!! Thanks for Listening...

Okay, so my quick story is I have a beautiful 21 month old DD and of course had no problems ttc her (it only took about 6 months of ttc).  We started trying again and I got pregnant right away in December and then miscarried on Feb 1st.  We just started TTC again this month and I thought for sure I was pregnant and tested yesterday which came back Negative.  My AF is due on Friday, so I know I didn't test to early.  In the meantime there are 3 girls are work who just found out there were pregnant and of course everything is going great for them.  I am really happy for them, but I also just want to sit and cry.  I know this will happen for me sometime and I know I am just being selfish because there are many women out there who have been through much more then myself.  Sometimes, I just don't understand the way things work.  Thanks for listening and being there for me.  No one understands like the wonderful women on this post!!!  BABY DUST TO ALL!!!!!!!

[deanne11]

Don't worry we all who experienced a loss or have had trouble conceiving feel this way at one time or another.

I have 6 pregnant ladies at work...just in my 50 person group and two men whose wives are expecting.
After 3 losses last year I want to cry even though I have a beautiful 2yr old....I wanted more.  My 3 angels in heaven are loved, so loved but I do want another baby here on earth.

I'm selfish...some women can't have any and I know I should be happy for all the others....for 5 out of the 6 women....this is their first....I am happy for them but my pain is still there....

[grammy64]

Wait-

How are you?  Did I miss something.  I don't post often, but I try to check as often as I can.  I thought you were doing so well this time...

[deanne11]

I'm okay on this one....so far.  Going to the dr tomorrow.

But I had 3 m/c last year....this is my 5th pregnancy.  I'm 11 weeks....but not out of the woods.

Being truthful, with my condition....I'm not out of the woods until I'm holding my baby.

It still is heartbreaking to see all the happy, pregnant women here at work (no one knows yet about me, except my boss)  I'm can't seem to be happy for them and enjoy my own pregnancy....scared and cry everyday

[sarubers]

Dont lose hope yet. I didnt test positive until the day I was supposed to get AF.

[grammy64]

Deane-

Funny how I read all the posts on here (my daughter had a second trimester miscarriage at Christmas and this site was a HUGE help to me) and you think you are just reading for information, but you really do come to care about the girls you see posting on here with similar problems and heartbreaking stories.  When I read your post, my stomach actually dropped as I thought something had happened and I had missed it.  I am so glad you are doing well.  Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.  Too bad all of you preggos could not enjoy these nine months...but understandable.

Kimbr....
It is VERY hard to be happy for others.  Intellectually you are....but in your heart, it is so hard not to feel the hurt.  My daughter and her husband and I went to a movie two weekends ago.  Her loss was at Christmas, so three months ago.  We enjoyed this movie and were talking during the movie about how much we were enjoying it until the very last scene when the main character unexpectedly turns out to be big and pregnant and then the movie was over.  Well, while everyone was standing up to leave the theater, we just sat there with our mouths open and she just broke down and cried.  It seems like when you hurt, it just invades every aspect of your life.  Hang in there.  Others are pulling for you as well.  

G

[candie26]

I got a BFN 3 days before my BFP. Maybe it is too early, just a thought. I went through all of that too. I had 2 m/c then tried for about 4 months when I found out that a friend of mine in a crappy relationship is pg. I got my BFP 4 weeks after her, but I was really upset before that.

[Kimbr7]

Thanks Deanne!!  You have been so supportive to me, especially when I was going through my miscarriage back in January.  I can't tell you how much your words mean to me!!  THANKS!

[jennifer1977]

and last time, I didnt test pos. until 2 days after auntie was supposed to come;)