Just thought I would get your opinions

I just thought I would get all of your opinions on this. As some of you know, my son was born w/ Spina bifida and hydrocephalus, (among a few other things). For the hydro Nathan had a shunt put in. He is 22 months old right now and has had 3 shunts put in because of problems w/ the shunt. (that requires surgery). Shunt malfunction is pretty common especially when it has malfunctioned before. And it's probable that he will have to have other surgeries in his lifetime. (not just the shunt) Here is our problem. Nathans neurosurgen is an AMAZING surgen. Nathan was supposed to be paralized when he was born due to the severity of his SB. But Dr.G (his neuro) performed surgery 12 hours after he was born and saved the use of his legs. (he still has problems though, but the left leg is almost normal). Every prof. that we have talked to has said they can't believe Nathans outcome, they have never seen anything like it before. We believe this is because of Dr.G.(and God) (I could go on and on about him, but I think you get he point) But he doesn't have a good bedside manner, he is like a robot. When we call them suspecting a problem he won't talk to us, his PA. is the one that talks to us and she has been nothing but rude to us the past 2 years. She wouldn't take me seriously when Nathan was having problems when we first called and Nathan ended up having surgery twice when it could have been prevented. Now his partner, Dr.L has a wonderful bedside manner, talks w/ us on the phone, tells us that a mothers instints are important etc. He ended up putting in the last shunt becuase he was the one on call. Dr.L admits that he isn't as experianced and isn't as good of a neuro as Dr.G. We are thinking about switiching to Dr.L. Would that be wrong since Dr.G is better surgen? Just last week Nathan was having problems w/ his shunt, Dr.G's PA said to wait and see if he gets worse, we didn't listen and went to Dr. L and the shunt was fixed w/out surgery. We are going back and forth trying to figure out what to do in this case. What are your opinions?

[pertykitty]

nalla while the other dr did amazing things to help nathan at birth, if they are rude and dont listen how can they help him or you? this other dr sounds great. you know nalla i have to say go with your gut instinct. while one dr may be extraordinary, they are not the only great dr. you really do need a dr that knows what they are doing, but also that listens and takes you seriously. you will find the answer. dont have guilt if you do choose the other dr. you do what is best for nathan and your family. he sounds like an amazing little boy!

[AndiJ78]

Here is my theory, I could have a doc who is all sunshine and rainbows, but without as much knowledge, or I can have a doc who may be short but brilliant. Honestly, give me the brilliant one, I see nurses and PA's as being the ones i expect the easy conversations with. I had a similar thing with Jonathan's cardiologist in Spokane, he was hailed as one of the best in the world, but his bedside manner stunk. I realized I didn't care. I don't need barney fixing my baby, I want the best. I can get over my own personality conflict if it means my boy is getting the best care possible.

Of course, I did not come to this realization on my own. My adopted mom is a pediatric nurse and she reminded me that how he acts with me isn't the issue, it is how he cares for my baby. She was right, I would take him back in a a heartbeat over the "nice guy" I have here in Tacoma. The guy is an idiot, but boy he sure is nice ; )

I know it sucks, you want the whole package. But in all seriousness, you struck gold with your doc. I hate to advocate maintaining a poor relationship, but in this case and with Nathan's medical issues, I say make the sacrifice and stick with him. If it were just a regular pedi that was a dime a dozen, I would say bail and find another. Not quite as easy to replace this guy I imagine.

[pertykitty]

but andi part of what nalla said was that the brilliant dr didnt listen to her concerns. that the pa blew her off when she knew something was wrong. that nathan ended up having surgery twice when it could have been prevented. that is a quote. so while i agree if they listened and just had a soso bedside manner, sure stick with him. i too would want the best care for my son. but when surgery could have been prevented, and she is ignored then its time to realize maybe he isnt the best dr. when a dr doesnt listen it could end up a horrific situation that doesnt have to be.

[jd1419]

You said they are partners--work with DR. L--it sounds like if the problem was more than he could handle he would then turn it back over to Dr. G--switch be comfortable and your records our always still in the same office.

[peekawho]

Yes, if they are partners and Dr. L was in above his head, he sounds smart enough to turn it over to Dr. G.

You could write a letter explaining to Dr. G why you are switching, being as diplomatic as possible and thanking him for his great work with your son, but explaining that preventing major problems and added surgeries is critically important to you, but you can't seem to get to him when there are problems.
Be nice, b/c he may again be involved with your sons care.  You can write that you regret very much having to make this choice, b/c you feel Dr. G is an excellent surgeon and so forth, but you feel you must make this choice etc etc.  

I agree that a brilliant surgeon means the world, but if you can't get to the brilliant surgeon b/c of the rude PA and your son suffers for it, that brilliance is of little use to you.  

[pertykitty]

nalla it sounds like you made a great decision!

[AndiJ78]

Sorry, that got lost in my my writing. I was overly concerned with the loss of a doc who was able to perform something no one else thought possible. I agree that you should have a discussion with the doc and his staff. Typically the PA and nurses are the ones who get you in to the doc. They will give a quick eval of the situation and go from there. It sort of keeps all the crazies from wasting the doc's time. But i can see your concern. If your first point of entry isn't receptive or doing thier job properly, there is a problem.

I like the letter idea. Perhaps that can help to change some of the protocol there.

[brittany smithson]

It sounds like the Dr.L is nice but also saved your son from having surgery again by going ahead and fixing the problem before it had to be surgery so he seems to know what he is doing along with great manners, he may not have the experience Dr.G has but just as good a dr. I can't really say what i would do. I agree with the above post to follow your gut. Good luck to Nathan and your family.

[nalla]

Thanks everybody for your opinions. DH and I talked, and for things that are more routine, we will be using Dr. L. But for more of the serious stuff we will use Dr.G. I don't think it will be too much of a problem sinse they are partners. But we do think it's time to have a talk with Dr. G about his PA. I think more of the problems are with her than our Dr.
Thanks again. :)

[mum2beagain]

I had a doc with a great bedside manner perform my c sect, but he didn't do a great job.
I think the biggest problem you have is with the PA as it seems that in an emergency situation you would get which ever doc is on call right?
Personally, I would stick with the more experienced Doc but I would definately go and see him and explain to him how you feel like you are brushed off (especially by the PA) when you have genuine concerns. Then if you are still having problems down the line it might be time to switch.
Hope all is well.

[mum2beagain]

That is a great solution, you are lucky to have 2 good docs and that you can see either of them, choosing which one is the most appropriate for the situation. I do hope that the PA changes her attitude towards you in the future. Mommy's instincts with thier child count for alot and she should respect that. Talk soon!