Leaving hospital after birth - Open Forum

I still have 8 weeks or so to go, but I have a question for all you mothers out there.

I almost ended up having an arguement with my MIL the other day as she mentioned that when we leave the hospital, she has some special sheets to put in the babies crib (moses basket), which I thought was lovely of her.

But what she meant was when we leave hospital, taking him home etc.

I am from the UK and unless you have a child seat suitable for your baby they will not allow you to leave the hospital, but here (in Italy), they take them home in their cribs. I asked around and apparently everyone does that, as they think their babies are too small to put in a child seat. To me this is crazy.

I do not want to do that, as for me safety is the most important thing.

How did you ladies bring your babies home? Am I wrong to say that my baby is going home in a child seat?

Thank you and please use as

[milkmommy]

your baby is not too small to be killed in a car accident, right? question answered.

you will need to stand up to mil for many years to come, might as well be today. call her today and tell her that the baby will be in a car seat but you absolutely love the sheets and will use them when the time comes to allow visitors to see the new babe.

[pertykitty]

well eli in the US you have to show that you have an appropriate car seat before they let you leave the hospitol. yes its important that their safety is in check. im confused, your mil wants to take your baby to her home, and she wants to take her without you? im sure you can purchase a car seat and let everyone know it MUST be used anytime your baby is in their car. the law here in california is pretty strict to ensure safety. for the first year they must be in a rear facing seat. of course im sure you have the same info their but ill repeat. babies are NEVER to ride in the front seat of a car with airbags. the airbag can kill them, even decapitate them as it has happened. im not trying to scare you but to give you info to share with your mil. my son is 8 and he still rides in the back seat. the laws say 6, but the risk of injury is there until about 12 years old. the discussion of that mil butting in is around here all the time lol. you just have to be strong and let her know YOU are the mother and what you say goes! let the baby rest in its new bed once safely home. good luck on your delivery! i bet italy is a great place to live!

[anxiousmomtobe?]

Start speaking up for yourself now, MIL means well, but you are the mummy.  I think it is crazy to ever take a child in a car without being in a proper car seat.  Here in Canada they will not let you leave the hospital until they see the child is properly restrained.

Just recently a 14 month old baby was killed in my area, she was not in a car seat.  It's the law, but the stupid parents decided to let someone hold her on their lap.  5 people in a car, buckled in and one baby to go flying through a windshield.  It made me so angry I had to turn off the news.

[laura99]

I live in the UK but I am from Spain and in both countries you use a car seat! They are perfectly safe for newborns unles you have them there for longer than 3 hours. It is your baby and you should decide!

[jennifer1977]

I agree, your baby is Not too small for a rear facing infant seat.  If you cant find one in Italy (??) Look online.  My mom worked in the county health department and had to watch all those videos of what happens to children and infants in a car accident.  Your baby would-to put it bluntly- be like a ping pong ball boucing around in the car and possibly thrown from the car if taken home in a crib!  Scary stuff, and you do need to calmly and nicely stand up, with your husbands support, hopefully, b/c this will not be the last time your mil has "advice" for you!

[pertykitty]

maybe you could print some info on the the statistics and safety and give them to her before you deliver. maybe she will then see and agree with you. hey if you upset her or hurt her feelings so be it. god knows i have done this, and i will do it again to protect my son!!

[peekawho]

Everybody is right.  You MUST have a car seat prior to going home.  It's the law here in the US.  

She'll just have to understand that you are putting safety first.  Do not give in on this issue.

[pertykitty]

i know this question has been asked, just too lazy to go through the archives. this cycle i am ovulating and feel like vomiting. ok maybe its coinky dink. im not even trying to ask if i am pg, hubby out of state not possible lol. i have started dieting (yes eating very healthy not starving myself) and lost some weight. my head has hurt for weeks, maybe unrelated. i have more ewcm than i usually EVER get. what do you think, the change in eating habits? losing a few pounds (yes only 5 so far). im just curious , since there are so many of you that keep track of your cycles too that maybe someone has this happen. we are going to ttc in feb!!! if all goes well. did i even ask a question? haha im not fully awake. i guess the ultimate question is could it be hormones that make me feel this way? maybe i should see my dr? the last time i felt this way was when i was 18 and had some problems. i had my pap the end of last year and it was fine. (well i have to go back early for another, they didnt explain well but said it wasnt 100% norm. didnt show abnormalities but not norm. could have been hormonal and i was o'ing at the time). long winded i know. been alone for several weeks, excited to talk to who i can haha. thanks

[Elicam]

I did tell her that my baby is coming home in a Child seat and she was fine with that.

But she made me feel as though I was being all stuck up with my British Laws.

She never actually said this but I got that feeling.

Thank you all for your replies. I just thought I was wrong in wanting to put my newly born in a child seat so soon. Everyone made me feel as though it was not right putting your child in a child seat and that I had the wrong information.

My DH thought that I was going to put the baby in the pram part which detaches from the wheels and you clip into the car (as this is what my BIL and SIL do). But bless him he listens to other people). I had to explain that the baby needs to be rear facing and that even if the pram is clipped in the baby is not so if you crash the baby will end up flying out of there and so where is the protection in that.

Pertykitty: She doesn't want to take the baby home and certainly not without me, she assumed that I was taking the baby to my house in a crib and not a child seat.

Its things like these that make me not want to ever leave my child with my MIL.

[pertykitty]

stuck up with your british laws, thats funny! well tell her you discussed this with snooty americans and their laws haha and we agree. anyway it sounds like its all taken care of. you know i have to say mil's can be great! but some still do what they want. mine does. its an ex mil and she knows how i am. they are all more relaxed about nutrition and tv and video games. i come off as a snot to them, but what i believe is what i believe. they get over it. they have to remember they were first time moms at one time too. and im sure they also had mil's to deal with!

[tina1111]

I have been posting about looking for you and see you are back today. How did it go friday? Are you feeling ok? I'm very sorry for you. Did they have any answers for?

[2songbirds]

OMG!!

It would be carseat for me, end of story. I don't care what other people think of me. It's MY baby, and my job to care for him/her and protect him/her.

[Elicam]

Your so funny. I think my DH hates this forum as I learn so much off it.

I just read your previous post about the sick feeling and headaches etc.

When you change your diet it does effect these things. Have you cut out caffine or are you limiting your sugar intake?

These can be a cause for the headaches, but this should only last for a couple of days. Other than that I dont have a clue what it may be.

Good luck with TTC next month. Have you already got kids? (I take it you do looking at your previous post, so really stupid question I know). How many kids do you have? (that one is more appropriate).

[pertykitty]

i have an 8 yr old boy. i never planned on having them so far in age, but a divorce prevented that from happening. haha. maybe its the cruddy air here giving me the headaches. my caffine and sugar intake have been considerably cut for about 2 -3 weeks now. my hubby feels cheated i am on here so much lol. well school is out today so we are going to go exercise. my son if funny, he is going to ride his bike while i walk. he told me since he rides fast i will need to run. haha apparently he has never seen me try to do this lol.

[aridza]

I wouldn't leave the hospital without a car sit and my baby inside.
When I was born, car seats weren't required (I'm 25yo) in France, so the newborns where riding in a little bassinet , I remember seeing that when I was little for my cousins.
I'm just surpised that the car seats are not a law in Italie.
That's good that your MIL backed off when you told her about the car seat

[BABYGIRL2006]

Back in the old days you didnt need a car seat but now with so much going on they require you to have one

[pertykitty]

my mom brought me home in a shoe box!! lol. she got a car seat after that thank goodness. anyway today there is more traffic, people who dont have their d.l. that really shouldnt be driving, and more risks than before. i still see moms with kids on their laps in the front seat. i have called the cops on them. its a big deal to me, if i could arrest them i would! who are they to mess with their kids lives? im just always amazed (ok here in the us, i know its different in other places) that with all the ways to get free carseats, and with all the news stories, that parents will STILL not buckle the kids. it isnt based just on economics either. i saw a mom driving an escalade the other day with a little one bouncing around. there was a story on oprah about this. a mom had a friend give her and her baby a ride just about a mile or two. no carseat, figured a short distance no biggie. well that poor baby was thrown and killed when an accident occured. you just never know. its really sad that some parents just dont seem bothered by this.

[2songbirds]

yeah, there's a good reason for that too. I wonder how many infants were killed in car accidents before carseats were mandatory.

[anxiousmomtobe?]

Tell your mil that your Crazy Canuck friends also told you to use a car seat.  And living in the land of permanent winter (lol) we know a lot about car safety.

Just in case she just wants to blame the yanks for giving you bad advice.

[apple_blossom]

Put the baby in the car seat. I agree with the first poster. Stand up for yourself and your family. She can think what she wants, but in this case, you know it's not right, and that's not a matter of opinion.
I live in Mexico and we don't have a car. It kills me that we can't use a car seat (taxis don't have seat belts), and I know I'll be worried the whole way home, but there's nothing I can do about it. It's not about laws, it's about not getting yourself killed. If your MIL doesn't get it, let her do the experimenting.

[mandymoo1983]

in australia it is also law i have never heard of such a thing they wont let you leave the hospital without one.
so many infants are killed on our roads with mothers who dont restrain there children in the seat properly or who simply just dont have one.
in australia it carries huge fines you can actually go to jail and have your kids taken off of you and guess what i agree.
dh dad is a seargent of the police force here he is also a accidents supervisor some of the things he has told me well all i can tell you is please get a car seat its nothing at all to do with your mil only you you are the mother stand up for the safety of your child and goodluck.