Loaded Question-jelly window clings and child starting to fib
So this is a loaded question, but I thought I would ask, because I am a little worried....
I am not sure how many of you even know what these are, but this weekend, in order to get in the spring mood I purchased some clings for our window. They are made of a jelly like rubber and are colored and come in various shapes for different holidays or events and 'stick' to windows. Well, I picked out flowers and butterflies for spring. I noticed this morning that one of the smallest flowers was missing off the window. I spoke to my almost 4 year old yesterday, explaining that even though they look like candy or gummy worms or something edible, they ARE NOT, and she was not to touch them or take them off the window (which is behind our kitchen table and it NOT accessible for our 15 month old, but our oldest can climb on the kitchen table to reach the window, which is apparently what she did).
I asked her what she did with it, because I was afraid she took it off the window and left it lying around on the floor, where my toddler could find it. Then she started telling me all kinds of things...first she said she hid it, so I asked where. Then she said she hid it in her mouth, then under the table, then in her mouth again. I kept questioning her, and every time she said something different. By then I was extremely frustrated-she was not giving me a straight answer and was making things up as she went. Finally, she repeated that she DID put it in her mouth, chewed it and swallowed it. I was so mad! I had specifically TOLD her the day before not even to touch them, and I thought at almost 4 she was mature enough to understand this.
So I guess my questions are, could these clings be dangerous? DH and my mom think she will be fine, since it is a jelly like rubber, and should pass with her stool by tomorrow. She has not complained about a stomach ache, but I still don't really know (or believe) if she ate it or not, so I continue to worry it is floating around my house, where my 15 month old can get ahold of it and choke. I have no idea what could be in them, though they seem to just be rubbery jelly clings...?? Should I be overly worried? I am moderately worried at this point!
Also, is this the age when children start to tell tall tales? She has always been honest in the past, but now when I question her about things like this, she is constantly changing her stories. It is frustrating, especially when it involves her (and her sister's) safety and well-being. How can I tell what is the truth or what is her imagination coming out? How do you handle when you know your child is not being being truthful at this age??
I learned my lesson. I removed all the jelly clings, and won't be getting anymore anytime soon. Too tempting for children and perhaps too unsafe as well. The bright colors and texture must have made her think it was ok to put them in her mouth, but I never thought she would. (she enjoys gummy worms candy and has a gummy princess vitamin on a daily basis...which I even regret doing that! She believes those are candy, I think! Don't worry, those are out or her reach completely.)
I haven't been on here forever, but I might as well jump in :)
It probably won't hurt her, but maybe a call to the pediatrician or even the CDC would help put your mind at rest.
As for the lying, I think my dd started telling fibs when she realized she would rather not get into trouble. With my dd I had to be careful to not let her see me upset because then she would lie to try to keep out of trouble. It always felt like a balancing act. Good luck!
Yes, I feel that is what my dd is doing....she saw that I was getting more and more frustrated, because I began to get very worried. So she started to come up with things to not get in trouble, but would say things that were believable, but I just wasn't sure. I think now that she is almost 4, she is figuring out the 'system' and the way things work.
Another example, I will come around the corner because my toddler is crying and I know my older dd is involved, so I ask if the baby just fell or if she is crying because she pushed her, or something. I can usually tell in those situations by the look on my older dd's face, but in order to 'stay out of trouble' will say the baby just 'fell'-but my toddler won't cry if she just falls down by herself, so those situations are easier to work out, but the more serious ones frustrate the heck out of me!!!
I know the exact clings you are speaking of. I had the Christmas ones and at the time my son was 7 months and I found 1/2 them on his dinner tray that his sister so nicely fed him! I don't think they are particularly harmful for just one. I believe a choking hazard would be more of a worry. I only have a 2 1/2 yr. and 10mo old so I can't help you on the lying bops!
my 3 year old son loves to play with these, he has the entire alphabet and animal shapes too... I caught him chewing on one of them because, he explained, they don't stick very well after a while (dust and dog hair get on them) so he was cleaning them one by one in his mouth!
we had a long talk and he hasn't done it since (i hope)... these products are made in China with gosh-knows-what kind of shady materials... my guess is that they're toxic, just like most cheap "made in China" products...
I don't think they would be toxic, I think they kind of figure kids play with them too much, maybe not eat them but they do sometimes take them off the window and put them back where "they" want them to go..lol
As for the lying, my daughter started it about the same age and here is what I did and it worked GREAT for my children and all my daycare kids..lol When I suspected they were lying, I would have them come look at me in the eyes, then when they would ask why I would tell them that adults have special powers and can tell when kids are lying by looking for "the lie in the eye". It freaked them out after a while and they eventually stopped lying because it wouldn't do any good because I could see "lies in your eyes"... hehe Anyways, that worked wonders for both my kids and all 9 of my daycare kids. Even the parents used it!
Oh no Bops! I am sure dd will be fine. As for the lying Avery is 22 months old and she drew on the wall the other day with a washable crayon (thank god) and when I asked her who did that (even though I saw her do it) she blamed it on the dog-and she is only 22 months old!! Ahhh, I guess I am in trouble! :(
Well, I am happy to report that the green gummie cling passed safely this morning with dd's stool ;) All chewed up and in pieces, just as she said!
As for the fibbing, That I am not liking, but Patti, I like the 'lies in the eyes' idea...my dad used to do something similar to me when I was a little girl, lol! I will have to use that, because dd is a slick one, and VERY bright and a bit 'beyond her years'. It might freak her out enough to just tell the truth-plus, I am sure I will be dealing with this for many years to come!! Darn, it started so early!! ;)
We do the "look me in the eyes" too. It works really well. My son used to lie but now when we say look me in the eye if he has lied he will immediately start crying and admit the truth.
Happy to hear everything passed with no problems.
My kids are terrible liars and they always know that the consequences are way harsher when they lie or are deliberately deceitful. They get one shot to come clean and that is it.
It did seem to start around 4 for mine as well.
As far as the notion that because they are designed for kids means they are safe...just look at the pages and pages of recall lists on the CPSC.gov website. Odds are those clings were made in China and the odds are even greater they are not being subjected to the same standards.
Always call Poison Control if you have a concern about the toxicity of something. You would be amazed at how thorough their database is ;-)
The way my kids are, I just decided to program Poison Control into my cell phone. No joke. I have had to call for a witch hazel incident (that never happened, but I called to be safe) when Madelyn was like 18 mo. I have called for Jordana like a million times, she likes to suck on lotion bottles, and even got into Hydrocortizone cream once, all ended up being harmless, but ya never know!
You should have heard Madelyn after she went potty. She was so proud of herself for 'pushing out that gooey green thing!'- it was funny, but only after a few minutes of going over in my head all I went through yesterday...ugh! KIDS!!
With the kids at school (and I'm sure I'll use it with Abby) I always told them - "I will never get mad if you tell me the truth. We will have to talk about what happened - but I won't get mad. But if I catch you not telling me the truth, I will ALWAYS get mad" And then you have to be consistent and not get mad at you when they tell you something wonderful like I wiped the poopie on the wall 'cause I wanted to! But gotta admit - I like the "lie in the eye" line - that's a good one. My sister has my niece convinced that she had eyes in the back of her head and can see everything because my niece hasn't figured out yet that she is being watched in the reflection in the tv - or the window - or the picture - etc
My six year olds famous words are "I forgot" He'll also finally admit something but it takes alot of annoying back and forths. Then I ask him why he did something and he always says "because I did". Drives me nuts! At six he also gives things to his brother that he shouldn't and he knows could hurt him. I've caught him purposly giving him small pieces of toys and my solution it I throw them in the garbage. I know it sounds mean but I can't risk the health of my little one for a silly toy and my older one has quickly learned that if he likes his toys and wants to keep them he doesn't give them to his brother.
This is the age when they start lying.
What I have found to be effective is similar to what Renogirl describes. If i KNOW that the child is lying, I focus on that when disciplining and actually downplay the actual infraction. "I know you made a mistake, and we can fix that. But if you Lie about it, then I will be very upset and you will be in more trouble. The truth is what is most important." If i stick by it, and don't back down, most kids confess. And since such a strong emphasis is put on the truth (honestly they usually feel very guilty about lying after this conversation), the next time they start to lie, all they need is "the look" and the phrase "remember, the truth is what is most important." They tend to fess up on their own.
Every now and then you get a kid with who you have to get at the truth in a round about way. I have one child now in particular who is difficult. Instead of saying "did you ....?" I ask "were you angry? is that why you...?" I guide the discussion making the assumption that I was right about what he did. He always falls for this (smartest kid i've ever worked with by the way). It also leads to a constructive discussion on problem solving and acknowledging his feelings that led to the situation.
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