M/C, possible Blighted Ovum and in emotional pain

Well it looks as though I am going to have m/c.  No heartbeat found at 6weeks 6days, HCG levells only rose 19000 to 20421 in 35hous, and bleeding.  Two hospitals - one Blighted Ovum and another possible miscarriage.  This is hopeless and I have got to go through this alone.  At this point I'm not sure I want to go on to confirm that there is no baby there.  My levells rose, but the doctor was not hopeful at all.  He told me to let mother nature get rid of it and have a good cry.  I have prayed and ask God to give me the baby, but know that His will be done regradless of what I want.  Now I only wait.  I don't know what to do.

[jen023]

I am so sorry that you are going through this right now. Nothing I say will probably make you feel better but just know that we are all here for you - you are not alone. I have been through 2 m/c and it is a horrible thing to go through - it seems so unfair. Just try and hang in there and trust that God's plan is right for you. Have a good cry and let all your anger out - it will make you feel a little better. I really hope and pray that they are wrong and everything turns out okay for you. You are in my thoughts!

[kris123]

You know I asked God to save this pregnancy but my hope has faded this evening as I am passing blood clots and bleeding red blood.  Nothing I can do can save it, if the baby is even there.  The docotr said when it is time it will look different then clots.  It is a horrible thing to go to the bathroom waiting to pass something other then a clot so you know that the pregnancy has ended.  It sounds gross, but I can't keep myself from looking.  I just want it to end if it is to end.  My BF seems to not think it is happening.  I just wish he could understand, but I guess this man doesn't.

[jen023]

my husband didn't really understand either. Mine happened so early that there really wasn't anything to pass. I had some bleeding but that was about it. So he never really got it that I was actually pregnant or maybe didn't want to believe it. It made it harder bc I felt alone too. After my second one, I just wanted to give up - but here I am ttc again. I know it doesn't help to hear it now but it will get better for you. Is there maybe someone else that you are close to that you could maybe talk to? Like a parent or sibling or close friend? It seemed that none of my family really understood either - but one day I just broke down to my sister and told her exactly why it bothered me that no one seemed to care and I have been able to talk to her about everything ever since. I hope it gets better for you - this is such a great site with such caring people, we are always here to listen too.

[kris123]

My family has been very understanding and hopeful.  Maybe it is not as it seems.  My sister has been great.  I have a cousin that just m/c and she was very helpful.  Do u know if the clots are part of the "stuff" that has to pass during a m/c.  I kinda want to know what I am looking for.

[pearl451]

Just know that you are not alone, you came to the right place as many of us have been there. I had a M/C that started on Feb. 14, 2006 & finally ended with a D&C March 3ed. In the weeks before the D&C my Dr told mr to take Motrin for the cramping & my wonderful husband freaked out. He kept thinking that maybe there was hope & if everything was OK the Motrin would hurt the baby. It was a lost cause though. Cry when you have to. I still cry about it. Just please know that you are not alone. Continue to come here & update us!!!! Lots of big hugs to you!

[jen023]

I think so - yes. That is what they say to look for. And I think they vary in size too. Some people pass really large clots while some are very small. I actually think I had a few very small ones and then the dr wanted to know if there was anything that looked stringy and I had some of that too. Not really sure exactly what to look for but I think once the bleeding and clots stop, that should be the end of it. Of course, you should probably check with your dr to make sure. And if the bleeding gets really heavy, make sure you go in right away. Hopefully someone else on here can explain this a little better for you. It's good that you have your family to help you through this. You'll get through it - just take it easy and keep thinking positive thoughts!! (((hugs)))

[mnc2006]

I am sorry as well, I might be going through a similar situation right now where I am having a molar pregnancy and the baby never formed, but the placenta keeps growing.  I will have to have a d & c, so I know how much it stinks to get so excited and have this as the outcome.  I too do not know if I want to know whether a baby was ever formed or not.  I hope you are alright.

[kris123]

Seems like you guys are actually with as I am experencing this m/c.  I have had an increase in cramps and they are getting painful and passing clots.  I hope this happens quickly.  I can't stand this.  I feel empty.  I know God will only give what you can handle, but this just seems to much to bear, to wait.

[kris123]

Thanks everyone for being there.  Noone understands unless they have been there.  I hate this

[kris123]

I belive the m/c is happening now.  Please pary for me that it passes quickly and that I will make it through.  Thanks,

kris

[AnnieBrooke]

You will get through this, life goes on, and you will grieve but each sad moment and every tear you cry makes it possible to keep moving forward to a time when the pain will be less.  I found out Monday that one of my twins had died in the uterus, the doctor doesn't think I'll pass anything except some blood, and thinks the one will simply be reabsorbed.  I already love that little being, even at such an early stage, and it has been very, very sad.  I have beeh thinking of what kind of Christmas ornament I will make for the little one who had a beating heart for only two weeks and now isn't going to come, and what we will do to commemorate the baby in another way. Life does go on; may it bring another beautiful baby to be special to you and your husband.  But nothing will ever make you forget this little one.

[lisa75]

Kris,
I am too in the same boat as you.  I am 7 1/2 weeks pregnant, and went for my fourth ultrasound yesterday.  All the doctor could see was a sac, and yolk.  No baby.  I already have 2 kids, and this was a big suprise to me.  Knowing that the baby hasnt formed has helped me.  My doctor told me this was very common,and that it was just a chromosonal problem.  I have a D&C scheduled for next thursday.  I have started to bleed just a little.  My prayers and thoughts are with you.

Lisa

[kris123]

It helps to hear that other have had this happen.  I have put a call in to the dr.  She said I am missing carry as I write this.  She said I should stop bleeding and pass everything in two days.  There was no sorry or how do you feel just facts.  I guess that is the way it goes with some people.

[mslkpage]

Dr's and nurses see this so often, that they sometimes forget that it's devestating to the rest of us. I wish I could give you some insight or words of wisdom, but I can't. I can't even tell you what to look for because with my blighted ovum, I had a D&C. I was over 12 weeks along, and my doctor was worried that I would hemorrage if I passed it naturally. You seem strong in your faith, so hold on to that. I'm sorry that you're going through this.

[mslkpage]

I forgot to answer your other question. For your hcg to rise only 1400 in 35 hours does indicate an abnormal pregnancy, considering that your hcg was at 19000. Had they gone up, say 10,000, that would be indicative of a normal pregnancy. Usually, the hcg doesn't begin a dramatic increase until the m/c has started. Again, I'm sorry for your loss.

[Jenny77]

I'm so sorry. I had a m/c at 12 weeks last year in June. I've actually been a bit on edge since tomorrow is exactly one year since I had my D&C. I still think back a year ago and can remember how intense all those feelings are. IT will be hard for a long time to come, but just know that it will get better, it just takes time. This site really helped me, but also a support group in my area. SOmetimes it is just so good to be around others who have actually gone through the same thing. Again, I'm so sorry.
Also, I have a doctor right now who is so compassionate and understanding, that has helped in the aftermath for me too. There really are a lot of insensative doctors out there. Its really a shame.

[mslkpage]

I really wish this site had an edit button. Have to make a correction here: I meant to write that there is not a dramatic DECREASE until after the m/c has started. Sorry about that.

[kris123]

I will post another question to see if I can get some answers.  Thanks for writing to me.  I have passed a few big clots and one sting like thing, but why would the HCG levells rise 1400 if I am miscarring.  I don't have hope behind this point, but just am confused.

[vannessa]

I'm sorry about that. I had a m/c at 6 weeks in early May and it broke my heart... I cried SO much, because less than a day earlier I hweard the heart and I was thought that everything was perfect, then I started bleeding and passed what you're looking for.

If someone doesn't want too much information, please don't read that below, because it's gross.

Kris, believe me, there is no way to mistaken it or miss it. Mine was a size of a quater or may be a little bigger and had white colour, it feels like tissue. I advise you not to look for it, becuase it is very traumatizing. At least it was for me. Before I saw it, I was still believing everything was fine, because of the u/s and because the doc said it was all perfect just a day ago + I thought I bleed only because of the u/s, and then I passed the tissue and went hysterical.... this was the worst moment of my life that far....

This site really helps.I'm sorry for your lost again. (((HUGS
)))

[jen023]

I'm not sure about the HCG levels - mine went up too a little bit right when I was miscarrying. That might be a question for your dr. Maybe you could make another appt and try to get a better understanding of what is happening. You might also ask if they can figure out why this happened. I know most of the times they can't, but it can't hurt to check.

I have to head home now - I'm at work - but please keep me updated and let me know how things work out for you. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!!

[vannessa]

I'm not sure if they can't or they don't want to. When I had my m/c every doc behaved like this is more than normal and believe it or not, they even told me it might happen again and that was ECAXTLY what I needed to hear. I've never seen so many unsympathetic people in my entire life. I hope nobody will ever had such experience.

[mfbmoreno]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you.  I have tried to have the outlook that this life is God's to give and if God needed another angel to help him in heaven than he obviously found yours to be perfect!! God has a reason for everything!!

I find out on Monday whether or not I have a viable pregnancy.  I had posted here before that I had a u/s Thursday of last week and that they found a sac and a yolk but no baby.  Based on LMP I was around 7 weeks, the u/s said I was measuring at 6 weeks 1 day.  They said it might be too early to see or it, that my dates could be off a bit, or that it might be a blighted ovum.  My HCG levels rose from last Fri. to last Monday from 15935 to 24937 and the midwife seemed to think that was good, but they could not get me into an u/s until this Monday.. I have had no bleeding, but today a light brown really tiny mucous discharge which I am hoping is from cervical irritation (ala after sex, sorry if TMI) than anything else, but I am preparing myself. I hate the waiting though.

Hang in there and God Bless!! Feel free to cry and shout, you owe yourself that much!!

Take care

Melissa

[jayanagyrl]

hi everyone, i'm so glad i came upon this site. i started m/c monday night while at work. i have to kids at home and had a m/c in 2003 at 6wks preg. this time i was 5wks. i can't explain the hurt i feel about having these m/c. my husband and i want another child but its like we can't stay preg now. i'm very thankful for my 2 kids at home but can't help feeling empty about the 2 i lost. i want to try again but would hate to go through this again. what next? and if we do get preg again i don't know if i can go through 9mos of anxiety? has anyone had more than one m/c then had a normal preg? please give me some hope!!!!

[vannessa]

Hi, If you read previous posts you'll see that many women had a successful pregnancy after 2 m/c. I'm sorry for your lost! Try to stay positive and don't give up. Since you already had 2 healthy pregnancies you'll get luck again.

Kris, please let us know how you feel today ((hugs))

[kris123]

I feel a little better today.  I think the m/c is complete.  Not to get to gross but I think I passed everything last night.  The cramps were very intense and painfule.  It took about four hours.  It was the worst thing in my life to go through.  I fell better knowing that things happen for a reason.  Things just weren't right and the baby never went on to form right, so my body sensed that and did what it was supposed to do.  Now I am ready to try again.  I not sure if it is feeling of replacement.  The problem is my BF didn't want this baby anyway, so the painful thing is I know he doesn't want to try again.  I am better today, hoping that it is over.

[mslkpage]

Be sure to follow up with your doctor. He/she should do an exam to make sure the m/c was complete. If any tissue is remaining, it can lead to an infection.

And this is none of my business, but I would wait until you and your BF are both ready for a baby before trying again.

[Crritter]

Kris, I'm so sorry for what you have to go through.  I found out at 11 weeks that I had a blighted ovum, it was hard, I have a 2 year old son too and was doing great, lots of morning sickness, and I was starting to show.  It was a huge blow to find out there was no baby in there.  It was still so hard to miscarry, the only comfort I found was that I didn't have to pass a baby too.  I pray that you are doing better and know that you can get through this and move on to have another healthy pregnancy.  Make sure you take your time to grieve though. It's been 2 weeks today since I miscarried, and my husband feels bad, but doesn't understand why I'm so upset either, he keeps saying there was no baby and it was just a fluke, but it's still hard, it was still a pregnancy.  Guys deal with these things so differently and don't always know what to say, I know he cares, just as your boyfriend does, it's just do different since you had to experience it all firsthand.  Take care, and it will get better.

[kris123]

It is always good to hear advise.  I guess when you have a m/c you want to replace what you lost.  I guess you are right.  If he is not ready, he is either not the person or just not ready.  Like I told him he's the winner out of this one.  I do hope the m/c is complete.

[jayanagyrl]

i feel better for the first time this week, i think we will try again - i have a dr's apt monday, does anyone know how long we're supposed to wait before we can try again?

[vannessa]

Doctors usually say that you should wait 2-3 cycles before you ttc again. A lot of women though get pregnant just a week after their m/c and have a healthy pregnancy. You can try whenever you feel ready. Good luck!

[Crritter]

Since I had no baby, my Dr. said I could start again as soon as I ovulate, 2 to 6 weeks after my m/c.  I may wait another month though, just because I want to be sure the next time I get a positive pregnancy test that it's a new pregnancy.  Good luck to you, hopefully it won't take long!