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MISCARRIAGE
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MISCARRIAGE


I am 21 years old, i just had a miscarriage 3 days ago. i went to the hospital with bleeding and cramps, they told me that the baby was too low and i would "probably" have a miscarriage they wanted to do a DNC but i said no b/c the baby's heart beat was good and i felt maybe we still had a good chance, i was 6 weeks along and my hcg level was 1347, is that a normal level for 6 wks? Also i have not gone to the hospital since the miscarriage is that dangerous do i def. need a dnc? how do i know if this is going to happen ever time i get pregnant?
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108334_tn?1253647995
You NEED to be seen by a OBGYN! Do you have one? You don't necessarily need a D&C but if everything doesn't come out, you will have to have one so you don't get an infection. The ER should have told you to get to your dr in 2 days to check you hcg levels again to make sure they are still rising. Your hcg sounds good to me for 6 weeks. Please get to a dr ASAP!
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What was the babies heart rate? Maybe I'm confused, but why would they suggest a DNC if your baby still had a heart beat?
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108334_tn?1253647995
They wanted to give my SIL a D&C and her baby still had a heartbeat. It was low and they "new" she was going to miscarry. She also had some bleeding and cramping. She did miscarry a few days later.
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i know it sounds very horrible to think something like this, but i have no insurance and im 21 years old the dr. even made a comment like "aren't you kinda young to be having a baby" i felt that they really didn't care what happened and i think thats why its so hard for me to go back to any hospital. i dont even know what the babys heart rate was i just heard it and i heard the sono tech say that its viable and the heart beat was good. i was scared and i didnt find out as much as i should have. but i thought that same thing when they asked if i wanted a DNC done why would i have dont that if the baby was still alive? the dr. told me the baby was too low and i would most likely miscarry.
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Wow! I guess even if you knew, that just seems cruel. My last miscarraige (miscarriage), when I went in the heartbeat was 95. He knew what was going to happen, but he sent me home and had me come back in a week. I've never heard of the baby being low being a problem. Especially early on. Oh well......
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when i asked the dr. are you 100% that i will have a miscarriage he told me no he wasn't, and thats why i was very uncomfortable with him even mentioning a DNC be done at that time
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I would get a second opinion. And I had Kennedy when I was 21, and she is thriving very well! So no, you're not too young. I hope the best for you and I really do suggest a second opinion.
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what good are the chances that this can possibly happen every time i get pregnant?
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Nobody can tell you that.  Each pregnancy is different.  

There may be nothing wrong at all at this point.  You need to get into an ob.  There are free clinics that would see you on a sliding scale.

Good luck
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One pregnancy doesn't have anything to do with the other. I've had 5 pregnancies and 2 baby girls out of those 5. None of my mc's were related or even had the same cause......
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108334_tn?1253647995
I wouldn't have gotten the D&C either, I agree, cruel! The dr had NO RIGHT to say anything about you being too young to have a baby, he doesn't know your situation!! I don't blame you for not wanting to go back. But you really do need to be seen by a dr, so this can get taken care of and if you need a D&C, you can get one.
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117004_tn?1218648744
I am so confused... You said your baby had a heartbeat, you heard it, and the Dr. Said your baby was low.. you had bleeding.. Did you pass the baby during the bleeding or are you still pg???????? And you made a good decision by not having the D&C if you heard your child's heart.  Who cares how old you are?? that doctor was ignorant.  I am sorry for what you are going through.. MC wont happen with every pg unless there is something wrong with your hormone levels etc..  If you dont have health insurance it will be very expensive to find out if something is wrong.  Did they draw your blood at the hospital??  
sometimes our babies dont form properly or they implant in the wrong spot and that is how we lose them.  It is no fault of our own.  Miscarriages are very common.. unfortunately.  Hang in there.. you will be ok :-)  I promise..
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yea the dr. said the baby was too low, and that i might have a miscarriage so i went home and i stayed in bed with my feet up. i had bad pains that night when i was in bed but i dint want to go back to the hospital b/c as i could tell from when i went earlier that day that they could care less and wouldn't help me anyway, so when i woke up the next day (2days ago) i had no more pain at all, i thought that was i good singe but i had to use the bathroom i got out of bed and went to the bathroom and i had a miscarriage there. also i found out after this happened to me, my mother also carried very low with my baby brother, and they had to stitch her so she would have a miscarage he was born 2 pounds but is healthy and beautiful now, also my aunt has had many miscarriages about 14 i think. could this be generic?
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they stitched her so she wouldnt have a miscarriage
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97615_tn?1212682189
I think you are doing the right thing by waiting. god forbid if you did or have miscarried at least you let it go naturally and you will not blame yourself.  If you were in the er, well those drs lack bedside manners.  You can always call a planned parenthood for a follow up or maybe even try for a medical assitance program.  I had my daughter at age 20.  and my sister had no insurance and delivered a healthy baby through a clinic and a participating hospital.  please call some place that may help you like that.  i pray for your health.
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108334_tn?1253647995
You could have a genetic condition that makes it hard to carry babies but the only way you'll know is to get to the dr and have tests run. They might not do them because this was your first miscarriage, but you never know. But please hun get to a dr and get checked out, you really need to for your health and the health of any future pregnancies. I also miscarried at home but the sac was still inside and I had to have a D&C.
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Avatar_n_tn
i called planned parent hood and they dont do d&c's there. i know i have to go get seen somewhere and i will but i dont have many options i called LIJ hospital and they told me to go to the ER there, i dont want to have to go to an ER and deal with ppl like that again.
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117004_tn?1218648744
It sounds like (and i am NOT a doctor so i dont know) that you might have a family history of something called incompitent(sp)cervix.  It just means that your cervix wont stay closed and will abort the baby.  SO that is very fixable.  it  just has to be diagnosed and treated the next time you get pregnant.  I am sorry for your loss.. and again.. that is my OPINION!!!!!!!
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i thank all of you for your thoughts!
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Avatar_f_tn
I know how you feel.  I also have a friend just near her due date.  I am supposed to go to her baby shower.  Honestly I don't want to go.  I am happy for her but sad for me.  But we do have to move on and sometimes I feel we need to just deal with things straight on.  Talk to your friend she is going to help you.  Maybe by you looking after her little one can help you heal and move on.  Don't do anything you are not comfortable with.
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CountY
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i would call planned parenthood back, they may not do d&cs but you may not need one.... maybe you didnt miscarry,some women bleed during their pregnancys, i would call them back and explain your situation and try to see a doctor there it may be possible ou still are pregnant.and if you did infact miscarry they could probably refer you to some place that does do d &cs if nessecary.  i agree w/everyone that your doctor was stupid for making the comment of being young- i know a girl who got preg at 15 had the baby at 16- and is a wonderful mother,age doesnt nessecarily matter- what matters is that you can fend for your child and love and nuture it.  where do you live? if you are in california you could also probably qualify for medi-Cal and if covered they will cover you for up to 3 months prior to signing up which is nice.
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i def. lost the baby, i looked to make sure. so i def. am not preg. anymore. i like in  newyork, on longisland.
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im sorry for your loss! you do need to get in to see a doctor because if there is tissue left behind it can cause major problems inside of you. but then again you could be one of the ones whos body disposed of the entire thing, there is no way to know for sure unless ou see a doc and the do a ultrasound...  i forgot to say on my last post that the miscarriage could definatly be genetic but also may not be... i lost my first baby in 2004 and i was thinking the same thing cause my mother had my oldest brother a month early then the next one was 3 monthes early so they put her on progesterone and she was able to carry me full term. so i was depressed when i lost that baby cause i thought- if only i had been on it too maybe my child would still be here... turns out i guess thats not the case for me, i got preg again  and so far so good. i am 32 weeks right now so there is still a possiblility she can come early but i  think she will be fine... of course my situation and yours are completly different but just wanted to say that it may not be genetic...someone meantioned incompetant cervix and that it is treatable,so my advice to you is to call planned parenthood back and get a appt and while you are there i would ask about it...
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god bless you and your baby!
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thank you- best wishes to you :)
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On Feb 2 I was supposed to be 12 weeks pregnant.  I went for my first ultrasound(prenatal screening)she did not say much except something was wrong. I went to the doc they told me the baby had no fetal heart beat and stopped growing sometime ago.  I had no bleeding or cramps.  I was sent to emerg, where they tried to give me pills.  I was not happy with this method and wanted to see the specialist.  She was amazing.  We decided to have the D and C. I feel empty.  I have been trying to do research as to why?  They call it a missed miscarriage, but apparently are not common.  Has anyone experienced anything similar to my situation.  This was my first pregnancy and fear that I am going to have more problems in the future.  Does anyone know as to why the this happens and why the body does not expell the baby???
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Avatar_n_tn
ive heard a bunch of women in here talk about a missed miscarriage, but you may not get too many responses in todays forum since its late in the day and they may not know there is a new question posted. i would recommend going to one of the open forums and putting it there and where it asks you comment to: put NEW QUESTION- its more likely to get noticed.... or you can wait it out and if no response ask again tomorrow.... but i do know there are women in here who have gone through that....  as far as it happening in the future unfortunatly there is no way to know... and im not sure why the body doesnt always expell it....
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Hello everyone. My name is Melody and I am new to the site. I have felt such anguish about my own expereience and find it very comforting to find others online who truely understand the loss one feels when she suffers a loss such as miscarriage.

I am 35 and have a 10 1/2 year old son. For many years I wasn't sure I would ever have or be able to have another child, as my son was a high risk pregnancy. I had expereienced preecclamsia in labor and nearly reguired an emergency c section.

My husband and I finally worked up the nerve to give up birth control and concieved I finally became pregnant within 2-3 months, which was shockingly fast. I was in such shock and joy at the news. No sooner did we tell all our loved ones the good news than I started bleeding last weekend, at 5 1/2 weeks. I called my doctor and was told that if I was miscarrying there wasn't anything they could do to prevent it. I was instructed to stay in bed and take it easy until they could schedule blood work and an ultrasound. I put it off for a couple of days becuase it was the weekend and I was told that if I wasn't cramping or bleeding badly and hadn't passed tissue that I might not miscarry and staying in bed would help until I could have the testing done. I wish  had gone to the ER and at least tried progesterone-but I didn't know about it's use in pregnancy bleeding at the time. Two days later I suffered horrible cramping and passed tissue, although I can't be sure I actually passed the sac and baby. I imagine it would have been quite tiny at my early stage of pregnancy. I have to go in for blood work to ensure my hgc levels are going down, although I have now stopped bleeding completely and have no pain. I am dreading a D&C. My husband seems to have a hard time understanding my tears but then he didn't feel a child come to life and die within him. I feel for every one of you in your time of loss. It is indescribable. I suppose I am thankful I wasn't further a long and more attached to the little one. I wonder whether it was a boy or girl. I wonder if it should still be named. i woder if it's my fault or if I could have acted more quickly and saved it. The sadness and sense of guilt is overwhelming at times. I am taking it one day at a tie and thinking perhaps about the next baby we will hopefully conieve. A friend told me she believes the baby's soul wasn't ready and will come again later in another pregnancy. I pray It is so. i would love to have ths child in my life and get to know it. I feel like I have really lost someone special.

Does anyone else feel this way? Thank you for hearing me out.

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I also had a missed miscarriage.  At 13w5d we went for a routine appt. where they discovered the baby's heart had stopped beating.  I did however have cramping approx. 2 weeks before - called the family doctor and was told that it was my uterus stretching to make room for the baby.  The cramping didn't last long, there was no bleeding so I just thought everything was ok.  To be honest - there are a few woman around me that have experienced miscarriages and the majority of them have been quite similar to our situations.  Miscarrying itself is common, although not talked about too much.   I wasn't given a reason as to why my body did not expell the products, we also opted for the D&C.   I can say that for me personally it has been a long road.  I still cry once or twice a week and it's been 6 months.  In fact our due date is next Saturday.  We recently found out we were pregnant again so fingers crossed everything works out this time.  I am truly sorry for your loss, it is going to be tough for a while but you have a great support system here.
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Thanks for your comments. I will post it as a new question. (duh) I am new to the sight.  Congrats on your pregnancy.  How long did you guys decide to wait before trying again?
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We pretty much started right away, we hit quite a few bumps though but we're here now.  At the time it honestly felt that we would never be pregnant again but now that I am, I look back and realize it really hasn't been all that long.   How long were you guys ttc?
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Well the first time right away.  I thought it would take awhile because I had been on the pill for so many years. I would like to give my body and mind a little time the second time around maybe 3 cycles.  I have vowed to not put as much pressure on trying, and reading so many books.
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I care for my bestfriends son, i also live with them i've been taken care of him for about a year now, but she is preg. and due may 2. my due date was sep.30 i was supposed to just watch all three of them but since i wont be having mine i really think that i may not emotionally be able to care for her child, i think it might hurt too bad, and i just dont know how to tell her. any advise?
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119398_tn?1204823032
You should visit your count health clinic.  If you are pregnant they can sign you up for medicaid.  You will be able to see a doctor immediately for advice.  Your local health clinic will have lots of advice for you.  

Also, I am 21 and on chlomid.  My doctor has never told me that I was too young.  That's terrible.
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117004_tn?1218648744
i dont know if either of you are still reading this forum but here are my comments.  I want to say i am so sorry for your losses and i know all to well what you are going through.  You both will feel better..  It will take time.

Badday-Unfortunately MANY MANY MANY of us have had missed miscarriages.  Mine was diagnosed at 10wks2dys D&C 10wks4dys.  No heartbeat.  This happened to me 1/3 and 1/5.  5 weeks ago.  I still feel sad at times especially seeing all the pregnant people.  I have no kids either.  The ultrasound tech said my baby had just died within the past couple of days.  Back in the day before the technology we have, they couldnt diagnose early miscarriages the way they do today..  SO eventually you would have miscarried.  It could have taken a month or more after diagnosis.  Most of the time when someone miscarries, it is for no good reason at all.  If you are worried, talk to your doctor about your hormone levels.  You can ask for a blood test to see if you have any of the problems that could be harmful to your next pregnancy.  As far as TTC again goes, do it when you are ready.  The dr. recommended that i wait 3 cycles but i want to try sooner.  No one really has the right answer except you.  One day you will be the big ol pregnant lady that everyone is jealous of.  Be supportive to your friend. I am sure she needs you as much as you need her.  You will have your day.


Melody,
If you had a natural m/c you will have to see your doctor so that your doctor can properly monitor the fact that you passed all the tissue.  Your baby was teeeeeeeny tiny.  He was the size of less than half a grain of rice.  SO it would have been nearly impossible to see unless you really studied it.   If you did pass all the tissue then a D&C isnt required.  In reality, if they dr's do say you need a D&C it is to protect your own body.  BuT since you stopped bleeding you probably wont need it.  Everything you are feeling right now is exactly how i felt.  I found help in this website, books, and just talking about it.  No one will understand what you are going through except people who have gone through it.  I believe my baby had a soul, my baby did what it came to earth to do, and went home.  Oh, and you did lose someone special, so did I, so did Jen, and all of the others.  No matter how big or small our babies are when they left us, they were still our babies, we still loved them like we knew them forever.  You have every right to feel upset.  Do whatever you need to do to feel better.  Eventually you will get there.. i didnt believe the ladies on the site, but 5 weeks later i am feeling pretty good.. I still miss my baby like hell and I am extremely pissed off that i was robbed of my pregnancy, but this isnt the end of the road for me.  This is just the beginning.  Good luck to you, and i hope you feel better..
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It is sad and I agree.  My inlaws are awful they think i lost a thing with a tail.  My dh and I agree it had a soul and it was a true baby.  I wasn't told anything to do.  My levels only went up to 2900 and I saw a heartbeat, and that was 2 days before I miscarried.  I was not told to take progesterone and in fact I had needed it for my first pregnancy and I was also told that the progesterone would just keep the mis from happening any sooner.  I don't know what to believe from Dr.'s.  But, they are not God.  Prayer and this site has helped me the most.  We are going to try for a Christmas Baby.  Baby dust to those here and those who are going to visit.  If not losing your baby isn't awful and painful enough, my s/i/l sent pictures of her newborn to me 3 days after my mis.  My inlaws aren't going to see me in the near future.  I have alot of scary emotions and ups and downs and I know we can all get through this and hopefully have very healthy pregnancies and babies after this experience.  Love and Prayers:)
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117004_tn?1218648744
Welcome to our December baby club  :-)  There are several of us who are shooting for a Dec. Baby.  I am sorry your inlaws are dumb.  and your doctor too.. I would switch if i were you.  

There is Me,
Dollchina,
StephD
Kandm
Anxioustobeamom
and now You!!  We are all doing the december baby dance... WELCOME and baby dust to you
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Good luck to you.  I think I just got AF today and am ready to try again.  Lots of baby dust!
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melody--i'm so sorry for your loss. i lost mine at exactly 21 weeks. i think we all have felt the way you have in the beginning. it's hard no matter when you lose a baby. reading books, having an aunt and a mother, a grandmother, and a grandmother in law who have experienced a mc helped. and when i found this site, it helped even more. i also joined a support group. you can contact your local hospital and join one. it's been 3 months since my loss and i'm starting to feel back to normal. i still think of my little boy everyday and talk to him. but i agree with your friend that his soul was here for the time he was needed and then it just wasn't ready to be here. but your little one is watching over you. he/she will always be with you. that's what i believe. it helps me get by day to day.

lisahope--i'm sorry for your loss as well. i know how you feel about the in-law thing. although with me it was my cousin. her daughter was born 6 days after i lost my son. and she had the nerve to send a birth announcement via email 3 days later with pics and all of happy mom and dad and baby and that the day was "finally here". (she was a week late). i lost my son on nov. 11th. she also sent a xmas card with a pic of her baby and all the things her baby is doing and ****. wasn't too happy about that. you would think she would have been a little considerate. i'm glad she has a healthy child, with absolutely no complications throughout her pregnancy, but she should have thought of how i would feel.

dollchina--yeah!!BABY DUST! BABY DUST! BABY DUST!!!!!**********
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