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Miscarriage at 12 weeks....help!
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Miscarriage at 12 weeks....help!

Hi everyone, I am hoping to get some advice about my miscarriage. I will start at the beginning, first of all I would like to say that I have 4 healthy babies ages 9, 7, 18 months, and 7 months. I just miscarried 2 nights ago at 12 weeks along (1st miscarriage). When I was 9 weeks along I started bleeding VERY heavily, my husband called 911 and I was taken by ambulance to the hospital, the doctors told me that I was not having a miscarriage but would not not tell me what was going on. The next day my husband called our OB and she said I was hemmoraging but it was no threat to my pregnancy and I will stop bleeding within a week or 2. The bleeding had lightened up and stopped for about a week, then 2 days before I miscarried I started to bleed again (brown colored, not heavy). Come this last Friday the bleeding got worse and I started passing a lot of blood clots and cramping so bad that I couldnt even move I was in so much pain, we called the on-call doctor and she said that the pain was normal with the hemorrage (regardless of how severe) and I could expect to pass more blood clots but since the blood was dark colored it was not anything new or anything to be concerned about. Well we ended up calling her back 2 more times to make sure she didnt want me to go to the hospital because of the severe pain and she just called in a prescription for pain meds and told me they would see me on Monday but everything was fine and normal DO NOT WORRY! We decided to call an advice nurse who said the same thing, do not come in to the ER it can wait until Monday and everything was fine. Both the on-call doctor and the nurse convinced me that I was NOT going to miscarry and everything was perfectly normal although I felt like I was in labor and told them that, they told me to wait until Monday again everything was fine. Well I started to pass more blood clots and at about 11pm I was sitting on the toilet and looked at the mirror across the room and there was something literally hanging out of me, I yelled for my husband and he came in and looked, told me not to move, it was the baby. That was the worse thing I had ever seen in my life and the hardest to deal with since I was told that was not going to happen! We called 911 and they took me to the hospital and finished cleaning me out and what not. The biggest problem I have is that since I know I was going through "labor" even though they dont call it that this early I was told not to go to the ER, I know for a fact had I been told to go in they would have checked if I was dialated and could have possibly stopped the labor. Does anyone agree that this could be a medical malpractice case for negligence on the part of the doctor who was not at all concerned about my pain or directly told me NOT to go to the hospital? Sorry this was so long but I needed to tell the full story. Any advice would be great. I am angry, my husband and I are traumatized and so heartbroken, this was going to be our last child and ever since I started bleeding at 9 weeks we decided if something happened we were not going to try again so that just makes this so much harder. I have never had to deal with pain like this so any advice on how to cope would also be very welcome and comforting. Thank you so much for your time.
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121828_tn?1333468091
I think that is a terrible story and I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know anything about malpractice cases but I feel that most of the time anyone you call would say, "I can't diagnose you over the phone, go to the ER." I just can't imagine anyone telling you to wait until Monday. No one. And your dr. just calling in pain meds. That just doesn't sound right. Nothing about hemmoraging when your pregnant is normal, nothing. Once again, I am sorry for your loss but due to the pain and bleeding I would have just gone to the ER anyways. And the advice nurse saying to wait until Monday? Hmm.  I just am amazed.
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Avatar_f_tn
I am very sorry for you loss. Miscarriages are a very tragic thing. There are a lot of women on here who will be able to give you many comforting words, and to let you know that you aren't alone.
I can tell you that I don't see any malpractice case at all. Even if you were to go to the hospital they would not have stopped "labor". If a women goes into labor anytime before 20wks they just let it go because if the baby was born it could not be saved anyways.
More than likely your baby passed away and that's why you miscarried. Your body knew something wasn't right. I was bleeding in the beginning of my second pregnancy. I went to the ER NUMEROUS times. Every time I was told I was not miscarrying at that time and that if I was there was nothing they could do anyways, which is true. However I also find it very odd that with your amount of bleeding they didn't have you go to the ER. They always say if you are filling up more than 1 pad an hr then you need to be seen. I agree with the above poster nothing about hemeraging during pregnancy is normal.
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134578_tn?1404951303
I'm so sorry for your loss.  Miscarriage is so sad, and should happen to nobody.

That said, don't torture yourself that it was preventable.  As Darkest said, if a miscarriage is happening, it is not something a doctor can stop.  Sometimes people interpret what doctors say.  For example, if the doctor says, "Go home and watch and wait, you are not miscarrying right now" at 9 weeks, a person might think the doctor is saying "You are all right, we have no evidence that you are miscarrying, don't worry."  But the doctor did not promise that you would not miscarry.  

At the 9-week point, all the doctors could have honestly done was tell you that you were bleeding, and that it could mean anything.  When I miscarried the first time, I was told "it could go either way, we see women who are bleeding who lose the baby and ones who are bleeding and do fine with their pregnancy."  That is all any doctor in the world would be able to say at that point.  Frankly, it's up to the embryo whether it wants to stick or not.  I don't think any doctor would have promised that you would NOT miscarry.

At the 12-week point, I think the doctor did wrong not to have you be seen, because you were undergoing a lot of bleeding.  They would not have been able to save the pregnancy, but they should have been interested in making sure you didn't pass out from loss of blood.  However, all they can do at that point is manage *your* health, not save the embryo.  

When a miscarriage happens, it has its genesis the moment the sperm meets the egg.  It's a tricky connection, and 2 out of 5 embryos that start, don't ultimately make it.  At the moment the embryo begins, something is missing, and the embryo can develop for a while but when that thing is needed it is missing, and the embryo stops developing because it doesn't have the needed element.  Then after some amount of time, your body gets the message that the embryo has faded, and contractions begin, and it pushes the embryo out.  This can actually take a while.  I miscarried recently, and knew from ultrasound that the babies' hearts had stopped.  I carried them another four weeks with all signs of pregnancy intact, before I began to bleed and they passed.  It's not like you are going along with a healthy pregnancy and then suddenly you have labor and lose a healthy embryo.  Labor is the result, not the cause.

As for your questions about malpractice:  you would have no case if you are trying to claim that the embryo could have been saved.  It probably could not have even if you had been in the hospital from week 9 on bed rest with ten doctors watching you with ultrasound at all times.  It is all up to the embryo, doctors can't make something keep developing that is not equipped to continue to develop.  Medicine is just not that good.

If you are claiming that it is lawsuit-worthy that nobody warned you that miscarriage might be a possibility, ehhhhh, you probably won't get far with that claim.  First of all, a jury will know that people don't always understand all of what they hear and doctors don't always make the time to be sure the person understood what the doctor was trying to say, so you would have a hard time proving that the doctors promised you any particular outcome.  You would certainly never be able to prove that the doctor promised you would not miscarry.

If you would be claiming that you had emotional distress and physical pain when it all happened and would be trying for a "pain and suffering" claim, the opposing attorney would probably concede that the doctor should have had you come in to the ER, but would point out that you did not have a tragic outcome for yourself as a result (i.e., you did not pass out and hit your head and die or something) and your outcome pregnancy-wise was no different than many other people who have had a miscarriage, trauma included.  Pain and suffering happens with almost every miscarriage, unfortunately.  The way an attorney would put it is that unless you can prove a loss that is significant that would not have happened but for the malpractice of the doctor, you don't have a case.  And miscarriage is pretty much the embryo's decision, there is nothing a doctor can do to make it stop, so ... no case.

I read a good quote once that I'll mangle in the retelling, and it was that whenever an American has a sad time or a bad time, they think of who they can sue.  I think what you had was a traumatic miscarriage that you did not expect, a very sad event that I would not wish on my worst enemy.  But I don't think you would do any good for yourself to try to sue.  It might do you much more good to reconsider your decision to stop having children, if you want one more.  The single thing that cheered me up the most when we lost the twins was that my husband was willing to try again.  Please reconsider, with your husband.  There sounds like there is room in your heart and life, so why not?
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