Miscarriage at 8 weeks fetus remains inside

I have just been told that the fetus has died at 8w3d and i am confused as to whether to have the D&C my doctor is advising or wait to see if miscarriage occurs naturally.
This pregnancy has been monitored closely (due to a partial molar pregnancy last year after which I had D&C at 11 weeks) so i was aware the pregnancy was in difficulty due to high and then slow rising HCG levels(hcg 7w=49,000,7w2d=53000,8w 63000).
I trust my doctor, however, all the internet info suggests it is normal to wait and see if miscarriage happens naturally.
One week ago, my doctor said fetus looked normal assuming it was 5 weeks, with a heartbeat, but i was already 7w2d (he thought i miscalculated date, but i don't think so).
Ultrasound last night shows no further growth and no heartbeat and doctor recommends immediate D&C. Doc thinks it looks like a normal miscarriage with no signs of partial molar although he wants to examine what comes out to be sure.
I am 36 years and these are my only 2 experiences at pregnancy and i am feeling desperately unhappy.
I have had some crampy pains for the last 5 days but absolutely no bleeding. The tender breast feeling left about 3 days ago.
Should i have D&C now or wait to see if it comes out naturally and if so for how long should i wait??
How

[newbieG]

i am struggling with the same thing.  what a decision to have to make!  did they give you the option of meds to induce the miscarriage?  i dont like the fear of not knowing when and where its going to happen.  i still have not decided which way im going to proceed.  i looked up cytotec online and it says a lot of scary things, but not about if you miscarried, just to induce a full term preg into labor.  i hate the thought of having surgery too.  i guess you just need time to think and come to your individual decision.  best of luck.  i hope it is comforting to know youre not alone, i know it is for me.  we'll get through this.

[kcooper]

I had a miscarraige (miscarriage)/bleeding at 6-7 weeks and then went to the doc.  They told me my hcg was normal so I should be fine, but I begged for an ultrasound.  Had one a week and a half later, saw an empty pregnancy sac, baby had already died and/or didn't form correctly.  They advised that I wait to see what happens, but if I didn't pass it all on my own within a few weeks they were going to do a d&c.  About a week later I had bleeding, very heavy and lots of cramping.  Almost as bad as after giving birth, I'd say!  I had to wear diapers cause I had so many huge blood clots and the blood was just pouring out of me.  Lasted about a week almost and then everything had passed.  I have never had a d&c, but I was happy to avoid it.  There is hope after miscarriage, I seem to have one good pregnancy, then a miscarriage, then a good pregnancy, then a miscarriage, now I have a good pregnacy thus far (14 weeks).  I guess it's my pattern.

Good luck!

[clarie]

kcooper...thanks for the info...and congratulations on your pregnancy fro the bootom of my heart.

[Kristen26]

I had a miscarriage like this too. I think my baby was 8 weeks 1 day and I thought I was 12 weeks. I found out on a Monday, scheduled a D&C for in a week, but I ended up miscarrying on my own on Saturday. I think it is always nice to avoid surgery if you can. It sounds like your physician feels it would be beneficial to have the pregnancy examined after it passes. It is easier to do this with the D&C...do you think you will be able to collect everything as it passes? I'm so sorry for your loss, I remember all too well how it felt. I just felt like I was dying inside and I wanted them to be wrong so bad. Keep faith that you will have a baby to hold soon. I remember wishing that I would have a baby and look back on my miscarriage and it seem like so long ago. My daughter is 17 months old now, and it was a long time ago that I miscarried, it still hurts. I hope that you have much love and support during this difficult time.

[kcooper]

Clarie,

Thanks so much.  My doctor did advise me to not ttc until 6 months after miscarrying cause the next month when I got my period I bled for almost a whole month straight and had to be in the hospital for a IV of some medication to make it stop.  I lost almost 15 lbs. and became very anemic from all the blood loss.  She said it'd probably be impossible to conceive for awhile after that, but the next month I found out I was pregnant and Will came 10 months later, 9lbs and 7 ounces as healthy as could be.  I really believe that everything happens for a reason and that there is nothing you can do in these situations, but pray.  Don't give up, it can really happen for you when the time is right.

[kcooper]

Oh yeah, what helped me when I miscarried is my husband took me and our son out to the ocean and we sent off some balloons and a rose.  We remember it every year on October 17th, but we aren't sad cause we know it happened for a good reason.  The next October is when we had baby Will and 17 seems to be our lucky number, my sons are 17 months apart, James and I got married on July 17th and had our first son on May 17th.  The new baby is due to come 17 months after Will was born as well.  

I'll keep you in our prayers and if you ever need to email someone, you can email me at kathleen_cooper2006***@****.

[clarie]

NewbieG..it is truely a great comfort to know i am not alone because i was sitting here feeling very alone...and although i am crying again now for you too...u have actually made me feel a lighter....sounds wierd but i guess this is just a very emotional time. I had a D&C last year  following a partial molar pregnancy (no choice)...suprisingly little pain and very fast proceedure...bleeding like a normal period after for about 4 days. I think will follow advice of Doc and do it again...despite my fear of surgery. I was working on autopilot following the bad news yesterday and scheduled for monday anyway.What are you going to do? A big hug to you and thank you.
Kristen26- thank you for your words of support...your experiences sound terrifying...i glad you have also had good experiences and sincerely hope you continue to do so. Thank you.

[clarie]

NewbieG- i asked doc about medicines to induce miscarriage but he advised against it...i didnt ask why...i was on another planet! He is very pro D&C as he says if left naturally, there is usually alot of pain, bleeding and may have to wait up to several weeks...and then after all of that you may have to have a D&C anyway if something left inside. I am not bleeding but do have cramps...from the scan, he could see it was starting to breakaway...If you read what kathleen wrote...it sounds terrifying to me...pain, days or more of bleeding, passing clots etc...my D&C last year was very smooth and relatively pain free...i was in a restaurant 3 hours after the op feeling a bit bewildered and spaced out but ok...
I really dont dont what is right...it is a nightmare decision...on top of losing the baby...

Kathleen - you are a very kind lady...i am so glad you have your babies...this at least gives me a big smile. Thank you again.

[newbieG]

is there a longer recovery after a d&c?  do you have to wait longer to ttc?  my md told me after i have the mc (with meds) and my hcg level is 0 and i have another af then we can try again.  is it longer if d&c?

[SNORCHY]

I just had a d&c on Tues. It was very easy and I was out of the hospital in a little over an hour and eating McDonald's. I have had a bit of bleeding and a little cramping, but I didn't even need tylenol for it. I was really anxious about it, but really it was fast and not too much pain. It's a difficult place to be making this type of decision. Do whatever you think is best for you. Good luck and take care of yourself.

[clarie]

snorchy- did ask doc..this is the same doc who did my d&C last year following partial molar pregnancy...he said that it will be same procedure and any D&C performed properly shoud notleave scarring in the uterus and therefore not affect fertility. I think i am just worrying too much about everything i hear or read on the web...i will ask doc to scrape carefully :)
Mikeal,mom - am still smiling about aunt flo..thanks xx

[clarie]

Thanks snorchy...hope you continue to recover well.
Did they say anything to you about D&C affecting fertility in future??
This will be the 2nd one for me 13 months apart...is there any fertility risk?
Internet info mentions it occasionally but all info kind of sketchy...dont know if having more than one is a problem..

[duehring]

I wanted to say too, if they really want to check the tissue then I think I would do the d&c. When I miscarried naturally there is no way I could try to save the tissue to take it in. I bled heavily with lots of clots and could not tell what was what. I didn't even want to look.

Again, I am so sorry for what you are going through.

[Mikeal'smom]

I just wanted to let you know that I just had my 2nd d&c, nothing was mentioned about any future problems.  I know on very rare occasion women can form scar tissue in the uterus, but other than that I think you should be all set.  Good luck, and sorry for what you are going through.

[Facere23]

I had a m/c earlier this year..I didn't find out until almost a month later.  My Dr. wanted to do a D&C immediately the next day.  I waited..I ended up m/c naturally the next night...but ended up needing the D&C anyway the following week because i was unable to expell everything and my body wouldn't stop bleeding.

[blondie72]

I had a D&C 3 yrs ago today.  I went in on Sept 22, 2003 and they found no heartbeat on the u/s.  I was about 12 or 13 weeks along.  I was scheduled the very next day for the D&C cuz the dr did not want to risk infection since the baby was only around 9 weeks.  I am kind of glad I did it that way cuz I don't think I could have handled passing the baby. Good Luck to you.  You have to do what you are comfortable with.

[Lake918]

I had a very similar m/c...lost our baby at 8 weeks, and I chose not to have a d&c. It took about 5-6 days for everything to start happening. In fact, I went for a very long run the day it did happen, just to keep myself moving ( I read from a women somewhere it helped her) I did, howeevr, see the passed tissue, the placenta, and what I think was my uterin lining. It was traumatic, but I wanted to do it naturally. I think it's important to listen to your body. ALthough I'm pretty sure I could have saved the tissue, a d&c allows testing on your tissue....and from what I've read, scar tissue is very rare.  I also know, that some women are uncomfortable with their baby inside of them that is no longer living. This didn't bother me...it felt like it was natural to me, and I wanted to give myself as much time as I needed. I can tell you though, had it taken any longer than a week or 2, I would have scheduled a d&c. Just listen to your body...take your time if you need to. I beleive that the healing process is the same either way...am I right ladies?

[duehring]

My first pregnancy was a molar pregnancy which I had a d&c for at 11 weeks. I had to wait for a year after my hcg went back to 0 to try again. That took 6 months so I had to wait 18 months to get preg again. My doctor had to cut deep into the uterus because the molar had grown into it so far that it had almost gone through it. I hemmoraged during the proceedure. I was scared that it would cause bad scarring too.

I now have 5 healthy kids. I have had partial placenta previa with a couple of them which I have wondered if that was from scarring in the uterus. It has always corrected itself by the end of pregnancy so I can deliver vaginally.

I am so sorry you are going through this. It was one of the darkest times of my life when I went through it. I had one miscarriage after it which I waited and miscarried naturally.

If you can handle it emotionally then I would say wait a little while to see if you miscarry soon. If it is too hard on you emotionally then I would go for the d&c and get it over with. I really don't think it affects your fertility. I have friends and sisters who all have had d&c's and then get pregnant easily again.

[SNORCHY]

From everything I have read, there doesn't seem to be any issues with fertility following a d&c. Lots of women on here have had one or more and gone on to have healthy pregnancies. Have you asked your Dr about this?

[clarie]

Thank you for your advice...i am encouraged and happy to hear of all your healthy babies...thanks, clarie xxx

[cjoc]

I am so sorry that you are being faced with such an awful decision.  Life is such a miracle.  When you think of all the cell divisions it takes to form a baby, it's amazing that any baby makes it to term.  I was 5 months pregnant with our first baby in August, and discovered during our ultrasound that the baby had a horrible chromosomal problem, and none of the major organs, including the brain, had developed.  The baby was completely incompatible with life.  SO we also had to make a decision on what to do-carry the baby to term, be induced and deliver it vaginally or have a d and e.  We chose the d and e without a doubt in our minds.  I had to wait 4 days to have the surgery, and was feeling the baby kick the whole time (although the movements were just reflex movements, not intentional, since there was no brain).  It was the most horrific experience.  I was walking around like a zombie for at least a week-could not function.  The surgery went well with no complications.  I think early on in the pregnancy, my body was trying to miscarry.  My progesterone levels were low accompanied by spotting from weeks 7-17.  I was put on prog. pills, and that probably just prolonged the inevitable.  I have definitely gone through ups and downs these past 5 weeks since it happened.  Support from friends and family has helped, but my husband and I still feel alone at times.  With most of our friends expecting babies right now, it's not any easier.  And even though I truly believe it's so, hearing other people tell you that everything happens for a reason sometimes makes it more difficult, because then it makes you feel like you shouldn't be upset about it.  At first I tried to be strong and tell my friends that I still wanted to hear everything about their pregnancies, but this month I've realized that hearing about all that just makes me sad.  

IF I were you, I would try to wait a few days to see if you start to miscarry naturally before you have a d and c, even though it'll be really hard to play that waiting game.  But whatever decision you make will be the right decision for you.  I found that it helped a little bit to get my crying out at first instead of trying to hold it in.  And also talking about it and explaining it to your family and friends right away helps. I sent out a mass email to let everyone that knew we were pregnant know.  Because I didn't want to have any awkward moments or to be congratulated in public later by someone that didn't know (just happened last week and it wasn't fun). Good luck with everything and I'll be thinking about you.  Hoping for many healthy babies in your future!  Life is a beautiful thing.

[wrknonit]

Om goodness. Your story brought me to tears.  I do believe things happen for a reason...but I don't think that means that they are less hard for us.  I feel for you...big time.  I recently had an early miscarriage....and can't imagine going as far as you were to end up with the same result.  I am a Christian and am trying to rely on God.  I have also been told that God doesn't give us anything more then we can handle.  All of us women in here are a lot stronger then we think...

I agree it is sooo hard though talking to people that are pregnant.  And for some odd reason they seem to forget what happened to us and sometimes say something that hurts pretty bad.  I tend to stay away from any "prego" friends or newborns.  I think that if they are truly your friend they will ultimately understand....if not...all well.  You have to think about your well being.  Getting into a depression or being sad all the time doesn't help us for ttc later...

We all just need to focus on our marriages, God and making our bodies healthy for the next pregnancy.  I am so sorry everyone is going through or has gone through this!!  I think the best way to decide what to do is to just let your body do its thing and see where it takes you.  

God Bless.

[deemari]

i found out a 11wks 4 days that my baby was 8 wks 2 days w/o a heartbeat. 2 days later everything came out. i am anemic and lost alot of blood and was feeling dizzy, when i was in the er they performed a d&c. after the procedure i spotted 1 time. do you think its normal not 2 bleed after a d&c?

[stresy]

I am trying to understand how a fetus can have no heartbeat at 8wks and and remain in the womb up to 11wks5days with no smyptoms of a miscarriage showing. What would have caused its death?  Why did I not miscarry naturally?

[sadmomthree]

Stresy,

I had almost the exact circumstances, to the date. I found out at the end of August my 11 week old in utero had died at 8 - 9 weeks, but I did not bleed for a couple of weeks. Finally took medication because my doctor advised it to prevent infection. It was very painful but it worked and it was a labor of love, so to speak. I am now 9 days later and feeling very blue. I hope you are doing better.

[saddened3]

Same thing happend to me, I went in when I has 11 weeks 4 days, and they told me the baby was only 8 weeks 4 days, so it was there for about 3 weeks dead, I had a little spotting at 11 weeks 2 days and thats when I knew somthing was not right. I went in on a wednesday, last week, and they said we should see if the miscarriage happens naturally, it happend that night, I lost so much blood it scared me, for about 2 hours, the third hour is stopped to a normal period amount of blood, for only a couple days and then went away. I passed 7 blood clots, never once did I look to see what any of them were, I now wish I would have seen the baby, not sure if the fetus looks like a baby at this point of a miscarriage, or what it would look like... I was too scared to look, and now regret that.