Missed miscarriage how long will this take?

[kaiya]

Hi

I went along to my 12 week routine scan last week only to be told that the baby had died at 8weeks and 4days. I had no bleeding or cramping and had asumed my pregnancy was all ok. 5 days of waiting for a natural miscarriage and I started to bleed really really lightly.I'm expecting pain and clots but so far nothing. I dont want to have a D&C but also cant go on waiting for this to happen. Its driving me mad...Has anyone waited for a natural miscarriage and if so how long did it take??

Kaiys

[deanne11]

I'm sorry for your loss.

I had 2 natural m/c and one like you are describing....I opted for the d&e with the 3rd m/c because of many reasons, but one for the waiting...At the time my Dr could not even begin to tell me when the process would begin and this being our 3rd loss, we just need closure.

In your case...the bleeding has started so that is a good sign.  With my first two m/c's the bleeding was light for a day or two and then boom it hit...the pain and cramping....lots of blood and discharge for 24-28 hrs...then regular flow for 2 more days.

You are on track...Good luck.  Take something for the pain if you have too...I didn't and I was miserable.

Thinking about you, and again I'm sorry.

[energy_train]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a D&C as I was 13 weeks 4 days when I miscarried.  I had a scan at 12 weeks 2 days and everything was fine and then when I went back a week later, the baby had died.  My doc. recommended a D&C since I was so far along.  However, I do have a good friend who has had 3 miscarriages and has waited all three out.  Her first, the baby died at 10 weeks and it took her about 3 weeks before she started passing anything.  She had 3 days of pretty intense labor.  This was one reason my doc. recommended doing a D&C because you don't know when it will start or where you will be.  Her second she lost at 6 weeks and waited about a week and a half from when she found out and the pains/bleeding weren't as bad but still lasted a couple of days.  Her third she was almost 9 weeks and again waited about 2 weeks for it to start and had a pretty rough time.  She now has 2 healthy children but had a rough start.  Needless to say, there is no magic time when it will hit.  It will be very emotional for you and you will probably want to be in the comfort of your own home when it happens which means  you'll want to stay close.  My doc. just said it would be just like labor and it could happen when I was at Wal-Mart, in the car, the grocery store, etc. and he highly recommended a D&C since it would be just like labor.  Take care of yourself and I'm so sorry for your loss.

[BabyHardiman]

I just started a thread asking the same question for my sister.  She is experiencing her 3RD miscarriage right now.  She went in yesterday because she had started to spot, and they did the u/s only to tell her that her baby stopped developing at around 7w4d.  Her doctor wants to wait for a natural miscarriage as well... if she has not started to bleed in two weeks he wants her to come back to his office to perform the D&C.  My mom wants her to go back to the doctor and get the pill that starts the miscarriage process by triggering bleeding.  I will have to ask her what the name of the pill is.  I know you have to get a prescription for it.  

I just want to say that I am so sorry for your loss.  Miscarriages are so sad.  I have had one, and one successful pregnancy.  Ava is now 11 weeks old.

[BabyHardiman]

Those were my thoughts on having the D&C for my sister.  But my mom says that the procedure can cause scars on your uterus.  

How painful was it for you?

[energy_train]

Honestly, the D&C was a breeze. The emotional part was not but the actual procedure was practically painless.  I never took the pain meds they gave me and had minor cramping- very minor- that day and then the next day was up and back to normal.  I am not almost 21 weeks pregnant and had no problems with scarring, etc.  My doc. did tell me that there is a slim chance of scarring if they go in and scrape however, he does mainly suction and therefore, no problems.  I got pregnant within 3 months and got pregnant on our very first try so no problems. Honestly, I'm so glad I had the D&C.  I thought it seemed too abrasive at first but the thought of going through labor at home, alone, not knowing how long it would last, when it would start, etc. made me choose the D&C without a doubt.  My view was that it didn't change the outcome whether I suffered at home or had it done in a hospital.  I think the passing it at home can be theraputic to some but to me, it sounded like days of emotional turmoil.  So, in answer to your question, it was pretty painless, they put the IV in, when I woke up, I just had to pee for them and could go home.  I didn't do a whole lot that day, we did go for a walk around the block that night and I made dinner, etc.  It wasn't like "Surgery"  Just some mild cramping.  Let me know if I can help any further.  I read your post on your sister and I feel so bad for her.  Did you read my above post (obviously you did) and my friend went through 3 miscarriages too before having her first. She was in a horrible emotional state and it's so hard to help because all you want to do is change the situation and you can't.  Good luck to her.

[BabyHardiman]

So you are not awake when they peform the procedure?  I thought forsure you were awake.

One of my sisters biggest concerns about the D&C is that it is too much like having an abortion.  I guess I can see where she feels that way.  Though you are awake during abortions.

[energy_train]

NO, you are not awake during the procedure.  I didn't feel like it was an abortion because A. you are asleep and you feel like you are going in for surgery even though when you come out, it's pretty painless and B. when you have an abortion, the baby is alive, when you have a D&C, the baby is dead.  Those two things are huge for me because they are so different than an abortion.  

[BabyHardiman]

Thanks!  Being asleep rather than being awake will give her a totally different mindset.  I appreciate the information.  :)

[kaiya]

Hi

Thank you for your message sorry to here about your m/c's. I can't believe emotionally painfull this is. The hardest thing for me is coming to terms with the fact that I'm not pregnant and putting your life on hold waiting for it to happen, hopefully it will happen in the next couple of days so that I can move on. The days just seem sooo long.

Take care.

Kaiys