NEED breast feeding advice

Hi everyone,

For those of you who remember, last week (saturday) I posted that I lost my mucus plug and well the very next day my water broke.  Jacob Nolan was born 11 Feb at 8:48 a.m. at 36wk6d and 6.4 lbs.  

At the hospital I had to start supplementing with formula because he was becoming jaundice and they said the formula would help him poo and get over the jaundice.  It was only needed temp until my milk came in.  Breast feeding has been so much more difficult than I thought it would be.  Everything seems to be perfect except for all the anxienty around bf.  Part of me just wants to give up and go to formula but the other loves the experience even with ALL its challenges so I keep trying.  

Here is my latest dilema.  My milk has come in so I am not using the formula to supplement.  Jacob has started to only want to feed off of one breast (the left one).  I try and try and try and try to get him to take the right breast and sometimes I get him to latch on for a couple of minutes but then he will just let go.  I finally get frustrated and give him the other breast which he will latch onto for another 15 to 20 minutes.  So now my right breast is getting huge and leaking.  I've pumped a couple of times to get some relief.  

Here are my questions:  

1. At the hospital they said ideally 15 to 20 minutes on each side during each session.  If he is only taking the one breast for 15 or 20 minutes is that okay?  Is it possible that he is getting enough?  He lets go on his own and drifts off like the is full and content but I'm just really worried that it isn't enough.  

2. How can I get him to take the other breast?  Has anyone else delt with something like this before?  

3. Will breast feeding get any easier or is it always this hard?  It just seems like I am in a constant state of either trying to get him to eat enough or worrying he isn't eating enough.  

Somebody please help me.... and I worrying for nothing?  HELP!!  

P.S. Oh one more thing.  He isn't a very fussy baby so I'm affraid even if he was hungry it might not be obvious enough.  

[houseofgirls]

Yes, I have experience with my baby preferring one breast over the other.  My 3 year old also preferred my right breast, so I was prepared for that when my 6 month old was born.  My left nipple is slightly inverted, so the right one is much easier for a newborn to take.  What I did in the beginning was still offer that side as much as I could, but didn't force it.  I would pump that side after feeding her, if she didn't nurse off of it.  As she got older, she got better at taking that side, and now has no problems taking it, although she still prefers my  right side :)  As a result, my body has kind of regulated how much each side makes, so I do know that my right side produces more than my left, and now it is not uncomfortable, no engorgement.  In the beginning, my baby would nurse anywhere from 10 minutes on up to an hour in one session.  I always let her nurse on one side, and when she was finished (she would unlatch) I would offer her the other.  She normally only takes one breast during a nursing session now, but I still offer her the other in case she wants it.

Yes, yes, yes, it does get easier, I promise!  For me, the hardest time is the first 2-3 weeks.  If you can get past that, your good to go!  I dealt with painful breasts, cracked and bleeding nipples, and just trying to figure out eachother.  I had a really hard time with my first, and spent many moments crying along with her.  I was of course much more prepared to deal with it the second time around.  Your doing great, keep it up!

[kjbutcher]

AJ did the same thing.  He would never take an engorged breast.  I ended up pumping and supplimenting before I figured out how to fix it.  Here is my THEORY... The formilk comes out first.  That is the "water" that quenches the baby's thurst immediately.  I had to express the milk just for him to attempt to take the breast.  That got rid of the "water" and took him right to the "meat and potatos" with out quenching his thurst, so he didnt want anything to do with it.  Maybe you could try pumping to get it less engorged.  Let him start on the "good" breast for 5 mins or so to quench his thurst and switch to the other when he is ready for the "meat and potatos" part to see if that is the problem.  Otherwise, maybe try different feeding positions.  I'm sure AndiJ will give you some great hints as soon as she sees this.  Good Luck and keep trying!

[houseofgirls]

Also, you could try meeting with a lactation consultant, if you haven't already.  They might be able to help you and your baby get a good latch on the side you are having trouble with.

[ma2isiah]

Please don't give up! I had a rough time with breastfeeding my daughter and fantasized about quiting, but kept perserving. She had a lot of other issues, but also had a hard time latching on to my left side. She still prefers the right and she is 7 months. You can try to latch onto the prefered side and then switch to the other before he gets too sleepy. Or what I did was try the non prefered side first and then if it gets too frustrating switch breast and then pump the other side. Pump the other side often to build/maintain your supply on that side. As he gets better at feeding it will get easier, A LOT easier. Also try different nursing postions. I found football hold the easiest in the beginning. Also a lactation nurse could assist with postioning and latching, try to contact someone through the hospital or la leche league.

[peekawho]

Andi has successfully breastfed 3 babies on one breast.  Send her a message and I'm sure she'll have some advice!

Congrats on the baby!

[AndiJ78]

****dismounts high horse*****

I know you have quite an opinion of me and I nearly didn't comment as I didn't think you would even bother reading it, but Peek emailed me and said you seemed to really need help. I can easily set aside past feelings knowing you need help getting through this rough patch, I hope you can too.

I nursed three boys for over a year each on one breast. It is rough going in the beginning, it was rough with all three and the never-ending succession of growth spurts really tested my devotion to nursing exclusively, but I made it through and felt like I really had accomplished something awesome. In fact I am still nursing my nearly 16 month old off of the one breast and he is still huge. Not much a solid food kid, but loves "mama milk-a"

None and I mean none of my boys took a bottle, ever. But my right breast is "broken" and finally after three kids my doc thinks I have some sort of benign tumor in there hindering the milk ducts and the anatomy within is screwy. I went it alone beginning with my first (didn't tap into the Lacation consultants or talk to anyone about the one breast battle) and it was rough going for spell, but once i settled in, it was smooth sailing. Each time I had another, I went through the tumultous time again.

The first week or two with each baby was rough: nipple was sore, cracked, bleeding and the idea of latching again only 15 minutes after he finally broke his latch had me in tears, literally. But I didn't allow formula in the house because i knew if I did, I would cave to it, and i am a stubborn old cow, even back then at 23 when I had my first I was determined to do it. I started setting small goals. A week, a month, two months, and so on. I dutifully nursed for 40 minutes at a time, held that sleeping baby and then he would awaken to nurse again 15 minutes later, I would nurse him again. Not so hard when you have 1, gets a bit harder when you have a toddler running around, gets even harder with a toddler and a preschooler. But i swore since my first and then my second, got the benefit of nursing for over a year, it was only "fair" to my others too as well. Sounds funny, but my dh is still bitter with his mom for throwing in the towel after a week knowing she nursed his younger brother for 9 mos. I know, I know, but it stuck with me. He felt it set the presidence for the favoritism in the house. Men!

Anyway, definitely contact a lactation consultant but rest assured if you are willing, it is possible to nurse off of one side. Your breasts will be dramtically different in size (especially in the beginning, my left was an H or larger, my right was a D or C but then it leveled off a bit as time went on) and it is rough knowing your one nipple doesn't get a break. I have changed the mind of more than one lactation consultant and doctor with showing them that you can nurse on only one breast and you can keep baby's above the 95th percentile without a drop of formula or solids.

I am always around if you need someone to talk to about this. My email addy is in my profile or here: AndiJ78  at  gmail . com  (As my son would say 'Now put it all together!")

[Tanker Chic]

All, Thanks so much for all your comments. It is extremely helpful to know others went through a similar situation and their babies made it through healthy and happy.  I did meet several times at the hospital with the lactation counselor and even made a call up there today.  Before my milk came in he would latch on to either side.  Him not wanting my right breast is a new thing.  I think it is related to it being slightly engorged. I'm going to keep pumping my right breast, offer it up first and if he won't take it I'm not going to force it and let him have the left breast.  Hopefully it will work itself out, but if not it seems like that will be okay too.  

Andi, I'm glad you have decided to not hold a grudge because I honestly have no memory of any disagreement with you. I'm not saying it didn't happen, I'm just saying whatever it was about, I have no hard feelings about it. Thanks for your help.  

I guess the only question I still have is, if he is feeding 15 - 20 minutes on one side.  Is that enough?  

Thanks Peek!!

[AndiJ78]

Good to know : )

As long as it keeps producing, pumping is a good idea. Keeps the supply up should he decide to start eating on that side. Mine never did produce much, I tried desperately to nurse and was rewarded with abscesses and no milk. Keep trying to offer it, perhaps offer it second so that he is not ravenous and having a hard time latching. It took me a while to really pick up on those early signs of hunger, soon enough you two will be so in sync it will be scary! Those around you will marvel at it, my husband still does!

I have heard that 15-20 minutes per side is good, provided it is a good solid nursing session. They really do need the foremilk (full of anitbodies) and the hind milk (full of fat) to make the most of each feeding. A good indicator is 6-8 wet diapers a day. A newer baby generally takes up to half hour to drain the breast, whereas a nursing pro at 8 mos or so can drain it in under 10 minutes.

[houseofgirls]

15-20 minutes per side is great!  I was lucky to get my first dd to go 10 minutes per side.  She would fall asleep in the middle of feeds all the time at first.  That was part of my frustration.  My 6 month old came out of the womb ready to nurse.  Literally, she went right for the breast, and my first night in the hospital, she nursed just about every hour, for up to an hour at a time!  I was up all night that first night!   You know, if it is an engorgement issue, then you can do the pumping when necessary.  Are you sure you don't have a slightly inverted nipple though?  Honestly, you can't even tell just by looking at me that I have that issue.  I didn't even know I had an inverted nipple until I tried nursing my first dd.  I had to use my fingers to try and pull my nipple out (thats what the lactaction consultant taught me) in order to get my dd to latch on.  Also, you could try breast shields, I think they are called.  I've never used them, but supposedly if you have issues with engorgement or inverted nipples, they help.  I believe they are made by medela.  You might want to look into those, couldn't hurt.

[pertykitty]

addison would and sometimes still fights the right side.  what i do is get her to start on the left then go to the right, she isnt as hungry and is more accepting.  one thing we feel with bfing issues is stress, and that makes it so hard.  try to relax, i know better said than done, but it makes a huge difference.  when addy was born so small and early, the hospitol had me use a breast sheild with a tube of my milk i pumped inside.  i used a syringe and would express it out and she would suck it up.  maybe something like that would help, but then again im sure the lactation consults have given that thought.  all of your feelings of throwing in the towel is normal, and if you can hang in there and get past it (which i know you can) you will be thrilled with the gift you have every time you feed jacob.  oh another thing is im so large chested and addison was so small that she wouldnt eat unless i used the football hold the first weeks, so do think about different holds that might make it more comfortable for the both of you.  i hope you are doing better today.

[mum2beagain]

My son had a preference for one side in the begining, I found that the breast that produced the most milk let down to fast for him so he would pull away. I would start out on his favourite breast until let down happened (it is useful to have a pad or cloth handy for the other breast), one let down had happened and that intitial spurt was over with I would swap him over. Initially I could only football hold him, I wasn't comfortable any ohter way but in time we both adapted and he nursed form both sides in various different holds. Once established I only usually fed from one breast per feeding unless he went through a growth spurt. He ususally fed 15-20 minutes at a time, but sometimes he would feed every hour or two.
It is hard and I think that at least every other day for the first six weeks I said "right as of tomorrow I am quitting!", I always changed my mind the next morning though. I made it to nearly 10 months and have the healthiest little guy!

[Tanker Chic]

Thanks everyone.. all your comments are very helpful.  I am going to try what a couple of you suggested about offering him the right breast in the middle to end of the feeding instead of in the beginning when he is too hungry.  

I took him in for a weight check yesterday.  He isn't up to birth weight but he has gained so dr said to keep doing what I'm doing.  Last night was actually a really good night.  He only drank from the left breast but all his feedings were 20 minutes and over.  So that makes me happy.  

Thanks again.  

[BabyHardiman]

Hey Girlie!!

No BF advice as of yet.  =)  I just wanted to say Congrats, and that your little boy is GORGEOUS!!  

Wow, 36w6d!!  Did he have any complications being 3 weeks early?

[Elicam]

Congrats on yu rlittle boy.

I rememebr the first few weeks with my one. At first he wouldn'tlatch on, sofor the first wee, I had to give him a mixture of formula and breast milk which I had to pump, then he refused to take a bottle, so all the milk I had pumped had to be thrown away.

Then he would only latch onto my left breast, which would cause me pain in my right boobie, then all the milk I had to pump from the right I had to thow as,as I said, he wouldnìt take the bottle.

Then at the age of 6 weeks, he would want to be fed every 1/2 hour sometimes I found myself stuck there for hours and I couldn't do anything else.

At irst I was constantly aranoid timing him and making usre he had at leas 20 mins feed, ut then ater a week, when I took him for his first Pediatricains appintment, she said that he is grwoing fine and not to worry, he knows when he is hungry and when he is full. So I relaxed after that.

It does get a bit easier when you start o the solids, as then you do not feel like you have him latched onto you for 24 hours a day.

But beware when his teeth start coming thorugh, I got bit, and he cut right through my nipple, it was agony, and I had tocontinue feeding from that side, the pain was bad, I had to scream to get trough the feed.

However, he will be one next month and I am still BFing him (mainly because he refuses to take milk from the bottle, and also as otherwise he will just scream for hours otherwise).

After having spoken to Andi, I realise that yes it is diffcult and there are so many momnts when you do get frustrated, but the child really benefits from being Breast fed.

I will keep up untl he is ready to give up himself, why put the poor little thing through so much stress.

Keep it up, it will all be worth it in the end.

[Tanker Chic]

babyHardiman, Thanks I think he is just gorgeous also. :)  He was a little floppy at birth but I think that was because they over medicated me.  He also became jaundice after a couple days which is pretty common and more common when they are a little early.  

Elicam, Thanks for sharing you story.  It is nice to know that others went through the same issues and their babies were fine.  

Thanks everyone.