Need baby boot camp....new baby on the way!!!

Hi everyone.  I have a big problem that is happening, well no "proble" but I definitly need some mommy advice.  I have a DD who just turned one.  She had a reflux problem up until she was about 6 months old, needless to say I never let her go....in the sense of I always took care of her.  I am also a stay at home mom and love every minute of being with her.  However, because of our closeness, she is very stuck to me.  She crys at stranger which is ok, but even at some family memebers too.  I feel bad, but that really isn't much of my concern.  I am due to have a liitle boy in July.....big suprise....  My DD doesnt sleep well at night and I am getting more and more tired as time goes on.  My Dh tries to help, but he has to function for work.  And too boot, I am having such stress about when it comes time to give birth.  She has never had to be with out one of us....for that long..it is breaking my heart.  I have such a close bond with her....I am scared....so baby boot camp needs to start....LOL.  I dont believe in th eferber method at night....I hate the thought of her crying like that....any help would be greatly appreciated!!  Thanks

[Darkestlight]

Unfortunately the only thing I can vouch for that has worked is that method. I had to do it to my daughter at 7 months. My DH came home from being gone a yr and she could no longer sleep in bed with me. It was time I stopped babying her so much. The first night was HARD on me. She cried for a hr and then went to sleep. Since then she goes to sleep perfectly. Never cries when its bed time, nothing. She still has some nights where she will wake, but those are far and few. I understand your close bond with your daughter I have a 19 month old and I was practically the only one in her life for the first 7 months. It took her almost a yr after that to even warm up to her father. Unfortunately I can't say I can help you with her crying when u all leave or when shes with someone else. Sounds like seperation anxiety which is hard to deal with. I couldn't even go to the bathroom alone for about 5 months. My DD just kinda grew out of it. She started late, didn't start with that behavior till about 13 months, when she could walk, and it ended maybe a month ago. Before then it was horror. I couldn't even take the trash out without her screaming. I am also due in july and I'm very thankful she's kinda grown outta it. Sorry I can't be of more help. Just know you aren't alone. We all go through the separation anxiety phase.

[decogrl]

Do it now do it now!! We waited until ours was almost 2 1/2 and it is sooooo hard.  She is persistant and keeps us up every night.  We put her back in her room but she still is way too attached and spoiled.  You need to do it sooner than later.  Crying will not hurt them and they won't be scarred for life because you let them cry.  You will be a better mom when you get your sleep---trust me from a dummy like me who now knows better.

[tiredbuthappy]

we were successful with a gentler approach.
i also did not believe in letting her cry it out. So when she went through a phase where bedtime was difficult, i took it slowly. i don't have time to describe all the details, but basically the first few nights i stayed next to her crib while she fell asleep. If necessary, I used my hand to rub her back or apply gentle pressure to keep her there. As she got drowsy, i would back off a bit and step away. I think for some nights I sat on the other side of the room for a bit. The only thing i would say is "i love you, nite-nite." Each day, I would cut back on the time spent right by her and would gradually and subtly move away towards the other side of the room. Within a few days, i was able to make it to the door within a few minutes. After a week, she was OK if I gently reminded nite-nite from outside the room. After that, bedtime was a breeze. Occasionally, if she starts fussing or talking too loud, I'll just yell "nite-nite, i love you" up the stairs. Every now and then, a holiday or break in the routine results in some tougher days. I just do the process again, but it's only maybe every 6 months or so.

I discovered that with my little one, she just needs to know that we're here. Sometimes she just needs to hear my voice/presence for reassurance. I didn't think that letting her cry alone in the dark would help reassure her that I am here. I do acknowledge that I am lucky though- my little one has a pretty easy temperament so this method worked for her. I know this may not work for some kids' temperaments. But it certainly can't hurt to try something like this before resorting to CIO.

[waitingwithhope]

MY DD still does not sleep all the way through the night and she gets up to nurse. She does not have an easy going temperament and she is very spunky! She is also very attached to me. However, we are slowly weaning her off of having us soothe her so much. I haven't cut back on the nursing and I won't until she is a year. The one thing you do have on your side is time before July. The good thing is that your baby will be that much older (and more able to understand) the closer you get to July. Just go really slowly....don't feel like you need to rush. I have children (who are now much older) that close in age and it really does work itself out--it was as if my older child recognized that there was a transition and a new little one around and I was able to get them both on a similar sleep schedule. Try not to stress..I know it seems overwhelming but it really will be ok and just set really small goals..and go slow with them. The older they get, the more they will understand too which will be really helpful!!

[fitzy11]

get a nanny & a baby nurse!!
just kidding
"HI RAURIE!"