Hello everybody, my wife, aged 36, got her LMP on 20th May, of 2009. Checked through vetro kit for pregnancy on 26th of may, and found positive, and gave her PUBERZEN 5000 IU injection[HCG] weekly once, in addition to FOL 123, [Folic Acid, Vit.B12 & DHA], Susten 200 [Progesterone] Vaginal pill,ZINCOVIT [ZINC supliments] till date. Got her U/S on 13th June, which says Uterus anteverted gravid measures 11.0 x 6.3 x 4.7 cm, fundal region shows single well defined gestation sac measures 2.16 cm, corresponds 6.5 week. On 24th June, again U/S was done, but says single irregular gestation sac measuring 2.9 cm corresponds 7.6 weeks, no fetal pole or cardiac activity seen. The radiologist told us to see the doctor immediately as this is not a good symptom. The doctor said, this is already to be concerned as a missed carriage, but still said we can try for 5 more days, so she prescribed a drug DUPHASTON [Dydrogesterone BP 10 mg], BDS., along with the prior drugs. my wife is crying, and very depressed mood, cant understand what's going to happen, as 1 miscarriage already occured in 2007.
Although, no bleeding or cramping signs have been found till date. Please help me,
I am sorry, but the irregular sac and seeing no cardiac activity suggest that the pregnancy has ceased to be viable and will miscarry soon. Has the doctor taken any blood to measure her hCG levels? All you can do is be there for your wife. Sometimes men think, well, one try didn't go, it was early, it was hardly a pregnancy, let's try another, and handle it that way. But to a woman a miscarriage is always a death, of a dream if nothing else -- she has had weeks to plan and wonder about this baby, and is now being told it is gone. So treat her as you would any grieving person whom you love. Good luck for the future.
Thanks for the response once again. I must admit that you were right, all the way, throughtout the way. my wife got bleeding on 28th of June, with some clots and tissues, and i was out of house at that moment. She immediately called me in my cell and told me, i understood that i was wrong, YOU WERE RIGHT. so, i said nothing, just consoled her and ran towards house as fast as i could in my vehicle. She was crying, as she also came to knew that the pregnancy was over. but mentally she was disturbed, she was sometimes crying, sometimes laughing, sometimes consoling ME that the pregnancy was in perfect condition as the HCG level goes up, these probs. do occur. At last, night at 9.00 p.m. she got cramping problem, i took her immediately to the best nursing home i can ever see, got her admitted, and she got her D&C on 29th June, at 12.40 A.M. , she was discharged from the nursing home on 2.45 P.M. same day, with asthetic effects and seditive injections. She is fine, mentally disturbed, i am now with her, consoling her, like you told me Thanks once again for telling me the right thing, as i was ignorant or rather say, not willing to understand ur point of view,
Thank you for your post, and I am so sorry the news is sad.
When I miscarried the last time, the people (other than my husband) who said the right thing, had to say only three things, which they often did in this order:
- Oh, no, that is awful! (Sometimes they used a more impolite word, and that was fine too.)
- I am SO sorry. (This meant they and I were on the same emotional wavelength -- sorrow!)
- I hope you are doing OK. (They were concerned about me, too.)
A husband has a lot of other chances to say the right thing, and should speak up about his love, support and faith in the next try. But I thought you might want to know this because friends or family might actually say the wrong thing, and your wife will think you are a god of understanding if you act like you know that they did or didn't have the right tone.
The wrong things to say can be really stupid, Examples:
- God does everything for a reason. (Implication -- you do not deserve a baby, you are too old to have a healthy baby, God is merciless, etc. etc.)
- Did they know if it was a boy or girl? (As if it would make me feel better?)
- Maybe it was a blessing. (It was not a blessing, it was a death.)
- You'll try again. (Of course we will, but a new child does not erase the grief of loss of a prior one, at least not in advance.)
If you want to make your wife feel better, one thing you *can* say to her is that you have read on the Internet that there are a lot of stories from ladies who got pregnant again right away after a miscarriage. It is almost like the activity in the uterus wakes it up to the possibility of a pregnancy and the next one "takes." This effect has even been noticed after minor medical procedures in the uterus, such as a biopsy. Tell her you will try again, and that you have faith in the future. And hold onto her and give her your love. She will bless you a thousand times for your understanding now.
Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Good luck for the future.
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