Not producing milk - feel like failure

[KellyTexas]

OK - I know there's been alot of post about this, but I can not help but feel like a failure.  My milk production is horrible.  I am having to pump so that I know the boys are getting enough and we can monitor how much I'm producing.  

I have been on Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle for almost 2 weeks now - not working.  I've tried the beer before breast feeding - not working.  Now my doctor is calling in Reglan to try and help with milk production.  

Any other suggestions?  I want them to have breast milk as long as possible even if I do have to pump - I just feel like I'm failing them by not giving them breast milk exclusively.

[houseofgirls]

I don't think pumping is the most reliable way to tell if you are producing enough.  Some people can nurse just fine, but get almost nothing out by pump.  Are you nursing as well?  

[LosingMyMindInGA]

Hun, I wish I could help, I KNOW how it feels.  I couldn't fully breastfeed any of my kids...poor milk production runs in my family along with inverted and large nipples which make for a hard time latching.  I finally gave up and resorted to breast and formula feeding.  Most times I would have to pump and feed the breast milk from a bottle, but atleast they were getting some.  

Please don't feel like a failure...there are many women who can't breastfeed for one reason or another.  My oldest was EXCLUSIVELY formula fed...she is the healthiest in my family...RARELY gets sick, even colds with her are gone in a day or two...she's extremely smart...has won a district spelling bee, has gotten straight a's every year since she's gotten letter grades (she's now in 6th), has won a writing contest and has an entire 1.5" 3 ring binder full of certificates and awards and I'm now having to start a new binder.

I know people say that breastfed babies are healthier, smarter etc.  But my oldest (now11) is a perfect example that formula fed babies can be too.  

[KellyTexas]

Houseofgirls - I started to breastfeed and we are still trying, but with two, it's so hard and I have huge nipples and it's hard for their little premature mouths to latch on.  I do my best, but it's not very good.

LosingMyMindInGA - thanks for the vote of confidence.  I know I shouldn't feel this way and my hubby is great.  I just so wanted to give them breast milk until the were at least 6-9 months and that's looking very grim at this point.  I just hate this feeling.  

[houseofgirls]

Also, if for some reason you are unable to breastfeed, you are NOT a failure!  Have you had a lactation consultant come and try to help you out?  

[houseofgirls]

That is tough.  And I know your frustration probably doesn't help the situation.  I know with my first, I had such a hard time nursing her, I would just cry, and she would cry.  And that was with only one!  I pumped a lot with her, mostly because I wasn't comfortable nursing in public.  She took the bottle and the breast.  I know that at first I didn't get much milk out, but after about 2 months or so, I could pump quite a bit.  I assume you have a hospital grade pump, which is good.  I had the medela double pump.  I rarely pump with my 6 month old, because she only likes the boob.  I do know that my milk supply is much better with this baby than it was with my first daughter.  Breastfeeding is hard!

[mami1323]

I never thought it would be as difficult as it was.  The first night I brought the baby home he would fall asleep and not latch on properly.  I would cry and feel horrible thinking that I couldn't feed my son.  I felt so awful, I felt like a failure and that he didn't want me.  It was terrible.  I wound up going to a lactation consultant and it helped but my son was on my breast for hours and was still hungry.  I felt like I was breastfeeding all day long and my son was never satisfied.  I supplimented with formula.  I gave him both for a while but now he doesn't want my breast anymore.  At first it was sad but now I'm ok with it.  You do what you feel works for you.  You're not a failure.  Like houseofgirls said, get the medela.  I wound up producing about 4 oz. each time I pumped with that pump.  It was very good.  Keep trying, it does get easier and if you can't do it then don't worry so much.  It doesn't make you a bad mother.

[pertykitty]

congrats on the babies! addison was premature too with a small mouth and well my nipple was as big as her head lol.  the begining was rough, i didnt think i was making enough milk.  but i was, she was gaining weight.  i didnt notice if you wrote about their gains?  i dont pump much because it takes so m;uch time to get a small amount, but nursing i get tons apparently from her size.  try to relax, stress can be very difficult on your body and milk.  do work with a consultant and they can help you with the pumping too.  i felt like a failure too, i even wrote a very simular post after addy was born.  it took a bit of time but now we are doing great. i know yours is harder x2, but hang in there!!!!

[LosingMyMindInGA]

Even if you DO get to a point where you are no longer able to breastfeed...just remember...with the advances in formula nowadays your babies will be getting plenty of nutrition.  No matter what you are NOT a failure.  Just becuase it's natures way doesn't mean it always works right....AND atleast we are in the age where we have the option of formula feeding...I'd hate to think of the idea of some other women breastfeeding my child...  I completly understand your feelings though, be very thankful that you have a supportive husband.  Mine came home one day to find me frusterated and crying and his response was "if it's so hard then stop and just use formula" that really made me cry.  But once you see your babies are flourishing you'll feel much better.

[ma2isiah]

If you are concerned about the amount they are getting you can rent special baby scale and weigh them before and after feeding them. You will see how many grams they gained--- this will tell you how many cc they got. I had to do this with my daughter as she was premature and had a hard time learning to breastfeed. She could only have 4 breastfeeds a day the rest she was bottlefed expressed milk. I pumped after all feedings. I had a fine supply, but she was weak and uncoordinated with feedings.
If you really want them to breastfeed, you need a lactation consultant and a feeding plan. You are going to be tired and nothing else may happen each day except feeding the boys and yourself, with a little sleep in between.  It was hard for me and I only had one baby! I fantasized about quiting almost everyday, it took over a month after she came home from the hospital before she was only breastfeeding. But now she is an exclusively breastfed 7 month old and almost 19 pounds!!! Good luck!

[KellyTexas]

Thank you ladies.  I do have the medela double pump.  It seems like sometimes I will fill a bottle and then other times a barely get any.  It's just so frustrating.  I will give it another month and see if things turn around as well as try the medication my doctor has put me on.

I'll keep everybody posted.

[chinesebones]

One more thing, you may want to run this by your doctor, but my friend told me to take B Complex... I can't say what helped cause I was taking the herbs too.  (It'll turn your pee bright yellow!)  Also drink lots of water and get some protein with every meal.  Try not to laugh, but the more rested I am the more milk I make.
I sympathize with your feeling like a failure, but try not to... I had my troubles feeding one; I CAN'T imagine ever being able to feed two!  Whatever milk you can get is helping them, but in my moments of despair I remembered that my dh was formula-fed and is 6'5" and healthy as a horse!

[houseofgirls]

That is pretty normal as far as pumping goes.  I get anywhere from 2 ounces on up to 10 ounces total when I pump.  Depends on all kinds of things, even the time of the day.  I get way more in the morning than I do before going to bed.  There are times I try to pump and get nothing at all.  I also know the more relaxed I am, the better.  Hang in there!  

[jjerzeegirl]

I would reccomend a lactation consultant come in as well..or give them a call atleast. Your hospital should have provided you with a number before you left.
I know the more I pump the more my breasts become full.
My dd is drinking my milk...but I have to thicken it with rice cereal b/c some of the fluid was going into her lungs. So some days I pump every 3-4 hrs...some days its even longer...just b.c I have such a suply in the freezer.
Nursing twins...I hand you credit.
My dd is very gassy as I forgot how much their little bodies react to what you eat. I have to get some Mylicon.(sp?) i gave her formula tonight just to give her body a little break...
Today was the first day I was alone with the girls (18+months and 2wk old) My 18+mth old was AMAZING!!!!!! I am soooo proud of her!
(sorry...off topic...but I know I can chat with you...lol)

Well I hope everything works out for you. Call your lac. consultant i'm sure they will have some pointers for you!

Good luck!

[Logan206]

Congrats on the little ones---and please don't feel like you are failing.  You are doing a wonderful job!    I have 7 mo old twins that were preemies and I can relate to your frustration.  My older daughter breastfed like a champ and I had an abundance of milk with her.  So, when I had the twins I thought it would be a breeze.  It wasn't/isn't.  Breastfeeding twins (and preemies at that) is very demanding and takes a lot of patience and dedication.  I felt like I had triplets b/c with every feeding it was feed baby, feed baby, pump.  I know how exhausting it can be which adds to the frustration---I hope you are getting some sleep too.

You're babies are lucky that you are making such an effort on their behalf.  Many would have given up.  Remember, even if they only get partial breast milk, they are still getting all the benefits.  Sounds like you being proactive to help the supply.  Be sure to stay nice and hydrated too, as that could make a difference to.

Hang in there--you are doing great!  

[kjbutcher]

I think other people have mentioned this but what you get when you pump is not what the boys get when they nurse.  You pump way less than what they can suck out!  Also the pump will not help increase the milk supply.  Letting them suck is what will make the milk come in better.  I would decrease the pump and let them suck and suck. (or continue to pump but let them nurse more.)

[Tanker Chic]

I'm getting enought milk but having a really hard time getting jacob to latch on to my right breast.  He is fine on the left but doesn't want anything to do with the right.  Even when I offer him the right first, he still rejects it. I know he is hungry because once I give up and offer thim the left, he drinks it right up.  

When you pump, how many ounces are you supposed to feed him each session?  

Don't feel like failure. You are doing everything you can. The worst thing that can happen is you have to feel them formula and many a healthy babies have been raised on formula.  

Jacob is such a perfect joy to be with and I feel like all my problems with being a new mother have been centered around breast feeding.  Part of me wants to give up and thinks things will be great if I just give in and give him formula.  I'm holding out for now, but I don't know how much longer I can do it.  

[sck08]

My baby was under 5 pounds at birth and the lactation consultant told me her cheek muscles that were needed to suck weren't strong enough.  I had trouble for over 8 weeks!!!  She eventually got it but I was having to pump after every feeding.  I know with twins that might be impossible.  You dont want to lose out on moments with them because your hooked up to a machine!

[shamanda]

I did everything I could think of and them some and never got enough milk to feed the babies exclusively.  I still don't.  I committed to pumping through the winter (6 months) so the babies get some antibodies and stuff, and it's really frustrating because I have never been able to get enough milk to feed them both.  It's about half and half.  I actually just got a Reglan prescription yesterday, but haven't filled it yet.  I'm excited to see if it works.
Anyway, just know that any breast milk you give them is beneficial, even if it's just one bottle a day.  Pumping sucks, but is totally worth it.  Don't be hard on yourself and try not to get frustrated, though I know that's easier said than done.

[Hazel30]

I had the same problem with my first son.  I bf for a month and he was at the same birth weight for a month.  I had low milk supply.  I heard that hot oatmeal in the morning does bring up the milk supply. I did that and it did help a little.  Try it out and see.  I had the same emotional feeling.  I was so upset by it too and when I had to give it up it broke my heart.  
Good luck