Member Comments are provided by individuals and reflect their personal opinions only. Under NO circumstances should you act on any advice or opinion posted in this forum. ALWAYS check with your personal physician before taking any action regarding your health! MedHelp International and our partners, sponsors and affiliates have no obligation to monitor any comments posted on this site, or the content and/or accuracy of such exchanges. MedHelp International does not endorse the views of any user.
OT: Post Partum at 6 Months
by mami1323, Jul 31, 2008 12:47PM
I don't know if many of you women had seen the news this morning, I am so disgusting and angered by the story. But a woman stabbed her 6 month old repeatedly and try to kill herself as well. She survived with stab wounds but the baby died. My mother and I got into a little heated debate about Post Partum depression. She thinks that this woman had it and wasn't in her right state of mind at the time. Well that's obvious because any woman who is in their right state would never harm a baby, let alone their own flesh and blood. My question to my mom was can a woman really have post partum depression so long after giving birth?
Related discussions
-
When is it PPD vs. Blues? (13 replies):I dont know what is going on with me, I feel like a terr...[more]
-
PPD Community please read (3 replies):I am a memeber of the PPD community. I read a post toni...[more]
-
I was hospitalized.... (21 replies):Hey ladies! Im sorry I haven't been on in a long time. I...[more]
-
feeling better and chey please read (8 replies):today I'm feeling much better I just some times have a b...[more]
-
Postpartum Depression (30 replies):I saw Stacie30 mention she had been diagnosed with PPD r...[more]
-
I feel like im the only one! (10 replies):Hey girls! why do i feel like im the only person on here...[more]
-
preparing to have 2nd baby (6 replies):I had ppd after my son. I will delivery 2nd baby soon. I...[more]
-
Post Partem Depression (14 replies):Good morning ladies! I have been a little curious about ...[more]
-
Postpartum Depression (PPD) (1 replies):I believe that I am suffering from this type of depressi...[more]
Post Comment
Related Communities
Recent Videos
Related Expert Forums
Recent Activity
Most Popular Trackers
RSS
Expert Activity
Community Members
This story reminds me of the one I saw on forensic files one night. A woman fell asleep with her TWINS in bed with her, and somehow managed to lose both of them to SIDS in the same night... she wanted the pathologist to prove that she "could have" rolled over on both of them and suffocated them..he proved there was NO WAY she could have... the twins were over a year old.
My Drs believe I had it in hindsight.
For some women it starts right after child birth and for others like myself, weeks (months) later....
For me it started when Jake was about 3-4 weeks old. It was horrible. I look back now and want to cry at the way I acted....
I never wanted to hurt my children but I hated DH and myself. I would yell at my DD for no reason....other than her acting like a typical 3 yr old.
It was the worse feeling in the world.
Luckily, before my marriage fell apart the Drs put 2/2 together and diagnosed me at 5 months post partum
It's bad...trust me it's bad.
But again, I never even for a second thought of hurting my children.
But depression effects everyone differently.
I remember when my hubby even mentioned I could possibly have it. I threw such a fit on him. Told him, all kinds of stuff I'd do to him if he ever said it again....
Poor guy. I was a train wreck.
I know how messed up I was and never thought about hurting my child.
so I can't imagine how a woman could do that....
I had so much anger and anxiety over my children though....it was scary.
I was making myself sick, physically sick worrying about them and their survival.
I would sit all night watching both Abby and Jake sleep.
A girl down the street from me has it real bad. Her dd is 1 they say she will have it for up to 2 years. She is being treated but only as a threat to herself not her baby. I guess they can tell that.
Did you hear of the story in Tulsa OK about the puppy killing the 8 week old baby. If not - google it. The puppy was a black lab - they dont attack but still why would you leave your 8 week old alone in a room with the puppy. Anyway, the detective was crying on the news - cnn - he could not describe the scene just said that counselers would be brough in for his officers. The baby was left unattended in a swing for an unknown amount of time while the grandmother (who is seen smoking a cigarette outside during the story) the 17 year old mom and the punk looking dad (pink and black mohawk) were all home.
HOME - how does a little puppy do that damage to a little baby and nobody sees?
Sorry you just got me started.
I also check Jayden's breathing. I did it last night. I went up and put my hand on his chest just to make sure. I do it every night before I go to sleep myself. I would kill any one who harmed my baby as well. I think every parent would.
Abby will be 4 and I still check her breathing.
As for the lab....I do believe a lab could do that....a puppy lab....I don't know...come on?
And how did no one hear anything?
My friend's little girl had a big chunk of her face taken off by a black lab, now in the dog's defense...she just had puppies and the little girls ball ended up in their yard and she went running in there, not knowing the puppies were back there.
My lab snapped at Abby as a baby too....She was about 9 mos old....let's just say, he never thought about doing that again.
Poor dog -
I always get PPD after giving birth. I ALWAYS do. So after 5, I know to expect it. I leave the hospital with a prescription in hand. I get anti-depressants. It is not an immediate cure, so it takes me a while for me to feel better. When I had my 1st daughter (first child with current husband), he didn't know what to think. I cried uncontrolably. It was awful and I wondered if I would ever feel better. I NEVER wanted to hurt my baby. But I def wasn't myself. I don't cry often and normally only get emotional around period time or when I am pregnant, so for me to feel that way for weeks, was just awful. I remember describing it to my mom. I told her that I just didn't feel like me. I felt like a different person. I felt like I was in a glass bottle screaming for help but it was like no one could hear me or see me. I could see people but they couldn't see me. They just couldn't reach me and I couldn't reach them. That was my description. I have had 3 daughters since then. And with all my husband's faults, he is wonderful now right after I have a baby. All he can do is just hold me when I cry and he is the only one I will allow to be around me like that. My family knows that they have to stay away for a little while after I have a baby. It doesn't matter who it is. I get tears in my eyes just typing this because I remember how it feels.
So, PPD is very real and was something that was very difficult to understand until I experienced it myself. I was only 18 when I had my first and I just thought that you could never be sad after having a beautiful baby, but it has nothing to do with the baby. It is all hormonal and it can't be helped anymore than us being emotional during pregnancy or during our period. It's the same concept. Def. a subject I hold close to my heart and am sorry for anyone that experiences it.
As for your orignal post about this mother. No, that is not something I can understand at all. I would never dream of hurting my child/children. When I am experiencing my PPD, I am very attentive to my newborn. I mean the slightest cry or whimper and I am right there. I just can't understand that at all. I cannot identify with that. But there is also something called PP Psychosis. That is suppose to be like PPD and schitzaphrenia (sp??? I know I just chopped that word up) together I believe; where the mother is hearing voices, etc.
cantwait,
That story about the mother of 5 that drowned her kids happened here in my city. Infact, it was just a few days after I had my first daughter and I was afraid to push the issue with my doctor really because of that. I didn't want anyone to think I would harm my baby. It was just awful and so very sad. And I blame Rusty (her husband) just as much as I blame her.
There was a couple here in Houston a few years ago. They had either a 4 month or 6 month old baby. I can't remember the exact age. Anyway, that baby was in the hospital with arms and legs broken and other body part. It cut me to the core hearing about this. I just could only imagine what that poor baby had been through in its short life.
We also had a baby found in Galveston Bay. She was only 3 and was beaten to death by her stepdad and mother. They put her in a trunk. She was named Baby Grace because they couldn't identify her for a while. I think those people should be killed in the same manner. It makes me sick!!!!! I could go on and on about things that have happened here......
Oh, and I wasn't defending that mother you were asking about. I am not condoning what she did because she may have some mental illness. I mean I'm like you. If I need some help and was EVEN thinking of hurting my baby, I'd make sure that child was safe and get myself some help.
http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=news/local&id=6298174
We should post this article up in the pregnancy 20 and under forum.
Time and time again, I hear people saying "babies are a blessing" right here, on this forum. Unfortunately, the pressure to have a baby once a woman is pregnant is very great. Most women of all ages who are pregnant with an unplanned baby will NOT surrender their child for adoption. Thats a fact. Its unfortunate, but that's the way it is.
They will usually keep the baby and struggle to raise it under sometimes very hard circumstances.
Be careful the next time you try to sway someone's decision. Sometimes, women know what they need to do about an unplanned pregnancy, and should not be "talked out" of it.
I'm sickened by some of the comments I'm reading here. No "normal" woman kills her child in the manner that is described in these stories. PPD is a real illness that can last for a year or sometimes more after childbirth. It is often fatal, not only for the woman involved, but sometimes for her child(ren). To suggest that she should be killed "the way she killed her baby" is barbaric.
Its tragic. Its sad that there is so much pressure on someone to have and raise a child when they clearly should not. Its unfortunate that family members often can't or don't want to intervene to help a sick woman. They blithely want to believe that "everything is fine" and that the baby really is a blessing and the unhappy mother will somehow snap out of it and become ecstatic with her baby.
People in the throws of a mental illness often CANNOT recognize what is going on with themselves. Remember the Yates case? She was CLEARLY mentally ill. She had no capacity to stop the train wreck of her life and the tragic outcome. Her family tried to get her "some" help, but was sadly uneducated about the seriousness of the situation. She killed her children during a violent expression of her illness.
Some of you have NO IDEA of the circumstances that exist beyond your happy go lucky, perpetually baby seeking lives. There are women, there are situations where there should not be a pregnancy, let alone a baby. Many of you have no idea what goes on outside your protected lives.
I hope you never find out, but some empathy would be nice. Comparing a woman who kills a child during a severe episode of PPD, with a ********* or a rapist is sickening.
Shame on some of you.
Everything comes in degrees and we can't believe something doesn't exist because we've never seen or felt it. In this case, consider it a blessing.
Without knowing the whole story, I would say it is incredibly sad that no one was around to see what was going on OR no one was brave enough to speak out and get this woman help.
A rational mind wonders why not take the baby to the hospital or drop at the police station...why harm the child. It is NOT a rational mind making this decision and incredibly sad that the child lost their life because this woman was not helped.
Certainly it will have to work its way through the legal system to determine whether she knew what she was doing or not and that is a whole different story.
I agree also that many people are not cut out to be parents. The world is full of a**holes who ultimately raise innocent children.
I think it is quite normal to have the reaction to seek revenge when there is the loss of an innocent child, so it is understandable to "hear" some of these comments, but perhaps it would be better to take the time to remember all the things -- children and even hubbies/sig. others -- that we are thankful for...this is what I do when I struggle with something like this. It doesn't change it, but often gives me a sense of peace.
Good luck to all.
i agree that some women cant handle the pressures of motherhood. maybe this is one of them. i have changed my views on abortion as i read stories like this one. i dont want tthis to upset anyone but maybe some women should have not had their babies. enough said about that....
i think more needs to be known before i can answer how i feel she should be :"dealt" with. my ex's aunt killed her 3 sons and then shot herself many years ago. shot them all in the head with a shotgun in their beds then herself. the dad/husband found them. im guessing she was ill for some time but nobody knew or did anything about it. that has to be some deep pain and mental issues to continue after the first one if that makes sense. stories like this break my heart, of course we wish she would have left the baby on the steps of the hospitol but it doesnt always happen.
id like to see what happens to those teen girls that made a pg pact. they have no idea what they are in for and its a shame that some of those babies will suffer from a mother that has ppd or cant handle the pressure.
PPD can severely distort perceptions. In later interviews, you'll hear explanations from them that make no sense, but sound completely rational to the woman -- things like "God wanted my child."
So in answer to the first question, it is very real, and can come and go for a year or even longer.
To Swampy, these incidents make him question what standards / expectations we should have for mothers, and what medical care mothers should have post delivery.
And people who made supportive comments in reference to my post had their posts edited to remove any mention of my name.
Must have dreamed the whole thing, right?
I also know how lucky I am that my children are blessings to me and my husband. But not everyone should have children or wants children. Unfortunately, pregnancy happens sometimes, regardless of any precautions taken. It is why I am pro-choice.
Yes, you are truly right that not everyone is cut out to be a mother.
peek you had posts deleted? I don't know why, everyone is entitled to their opinion. No one is arguing here, it's just disagreements.
As a reminder the reason why we are here and are participating in this forum is to substantiate the purpose and wonder behind being Maternal, and or otherwise we would not be here. This is a post creation mentality that is necessary for us to continue being supportive.
And conception will result. The aftermath must be addressed. No one here has the guts to be realistic. You don't see the reality day after day after day after day after day after day after day. Some are only capable of seeing things right in front of their noses. Then there are those who live in the real world.
And yes...my post was initially deleted, and another post from wonderme altered to remove my name from her supportive comment.
Unfortunately, PPD is a very real ILLNESS and typically requires treatment just like someone w/ diabetes requires treatment. What is sad is that because of the negative stigma associated with a "mental" illness (and PPD falls into the class), many women will not seek the help they need and this is when potentially disastrous consequences may result. Also, we must not discount the acting ability of some women - those that are good at "hiding" the way they feel which means that their illness goes unnoticed by the medical professional and yes, even a loving and supportive partner.
if you fear you have PPD or PPS, you need to take your a$$ to a dr, a physch, something.....and your spouse/partner (if applicable) should help as well as your family.....these days people are more concerned with what others think.....therefore they refuse to identify the symptoms(if any), or discuss it with anyone.....to me, if you're having "throwed off" thoughts about your kids, NOT doing something about it makes you a bad parent.....
i dont care who you are or what you're reasoning is, if you can hurt a child or an elderly person, may god get to you before your cellmates do.....
that little ******* has non-fatal, self inflicted wounds to her chest and abdomen that she will probably recover from soon.....that baby will never be brought back to life, his father will never be the same.....i dont think she suffered from PPD, i think **SOME** people who claim this disease, use it to their own advantage....yes, some women legitimately have it, and get help or are able to come out of it own there own....that's like the insanity plea.....wtfe.....i hope that "little girl" gets the same thing in prison a man would get for molesting a child.....when it comes to that woman who drowned her children....i think there's more to that story.....how did she drown **5** kids, and NOT ONE manage to escape from her? i never heard that they were drugged, so how is it the oldest one could not sneak out and run to a neighbor??? and i never heard about anything due to b/c, the last thing i heard was she started suffering from PPD after her 1st born, and husband refused to allow her to get tied, or on birth control....in that case, i think the dr should be slightly help liable as well.....he had already told the father something bad was going to happen.....
like the girl in florida missing, her mom HAD to have done something to her that b**** was out partying AFTER the baby went missing, but BEFORE she reported her missing.....and SHE didnt report child missing her parents did.....judge says to her " you dropped your child with a person who doesnt exist, at an apartment you can't find anymore".....WHAT THE cr@p????? shoot her down while you're at it.....
i'm country and here's a few things you don't mess with~~~the lord, the kids, the wife, the crop, the land, the family, or the farmer....you'll catch death, before it catches you.....and i do believe with mami1323~~eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth, blood for blood.....
ok i'm done, i'm going to get attacked anyways....
Trust me. I think most people know me on here and know I absolutely adore my children. I couldn't imagine harming them.
But I can't even begin to explain to you how PPD can effect you. And effect what you think and what comes out of your mouth.
You are not yourself. I repeat that....you are completely not yourself.
Baby Blues? People cannot compare Baby Blues to an extreme case of PPD. I'm sorry, but you can not!
I did not suffer from it after my DD. So I would have been as judgemental as some of you are being....but I did have it severely after Jake.....it's not pretty and I hated myself for it....but during it, was I rational enough to get help....NO.
Thank God for a wonderful, supportive, and educated husband.....not everyone has that.
Can I feel for the women who do this, absolutely. It sickens me and saddens me....but to blame that woman alone...No, I cannot not.
But I also, have deep routes when it comes to mental illness by experiencing some horrific things first hand. It's very very real.
I can only hope and pray that you mothers who love your children so deeply never experience it.
After your 6 week post partum check up. There should be more. I know there should have been for me.
And, let me just say again. For me it manifested in a totally different way than what this post stemmed from. I never thought about hurting my children....but what did happen to me, almost did just as much damage to my life.
Thank you deanne for sharing your experience with us. I am glad your hubby was able to recognize that something was wrong. I can't even imagine what that must have felt like. I still believe that harming a child is beyond incomprehensible to me. I find it difficult to have sympathy for these women. But thank you for making things clearer for me about what goes on during PPD. I had known about it prior to having my son. My friend really went through it bad and was able to give me a warning about it. My doctor didn't and neither did the hospital. I think more needs to be done to bring awareness to it so that perhaps another innocent child's life can be spared.
You cant blame the medical profession either. The other day I had a doctors appointment and was asked "do you have thoughts of harming your baby?" as a way of screening of PPD. How many women that DO have those thoughts will answer that question honestly? In the minds of some women, to do so might mean being deemed "crazy", possibly being committed, or having your child taken away from you. It is easier to lie with the assumption such thoughts will pass without medical intervention - unfortunately this is not always the case.
As final food for thought I would like to present the below scenario ESPECIALLY to those of you who are religious (since I have noticed several references to "god" within this thread). For those of you that do not believe in "god", substitute that word with your idol whether that be Allah, the hamburger fairy.
The most severe form of PPD is postpartum psychosis. This is a widely recognized disorder and likely inflicted the lady who drowned her 5 children. With this post-birth induced disorder, a women loses touch with reality and even hears voices and hallucinates. Now lets just say a highly religious women hallucinates to the extent that she sees "God" and He "asks" her to bring her baby to him - to in effect, kill her child. What does she do? She has followed the teachings of her so-called "God" all her life, loves him and would do anything for him, and now she truly thinks that he stands before her asking that she make the biggest sacrifice of her life even though she has been taught that killing is wrong. She has a choice of murder or ignoring "God".
To murder a child under such circumstances is no excuse - there is NEVER an excuse for murder, NEVER. However, what I am trying to convey is that how under exceptional circumstances a person inflicted with this very real form of severe PPD may come to commit such a unthinkable act.
At least I thought I was.
If this woman who did this truly suffered from PPD, I can empathize with her.
I can't imagine the pain she felt to do that and the pain she'll now feel the rest of her life.
I can tell you the extreme guilt I feel for yelling at my DD. I yelled at her so bad once that she hung her head as she walked to her room. She looked dejected and heart broken and that look will stay with me forever. I can't shake it. Even today.
I immediately noticed it by the time she got to the 3rd step and quickly brought her to me and hugged and kissed her and told her I was sorry....
But it didn't prevent me from doing it in the first place or doing it again.
My patience with her was so very very thin....not the norm for me or for a 3yr old who just went through major changes herself.
I was a horrible person, and I really hated myself but couldn't stop it.
I'm also sorry that at least one comment made by another member was altered by Med Help to remove her opening statement "I agree with Peek". Apparently, when they deleted my comment, they wanted to alter any reference to it.
That's what has me the angriest.
Everything else I just put down to people not being exposed to a lot of harsh reality. If you don't live it and see it, you have a harder time understanding that it really goes on.
Good post, good debate.
Because I bet most of you never even knew I had it. In my writings, how much I love my kids...etc. But again, PPD almost destroyed my life in other areas.
I just want everyone aware that it can happen, even if it didn't happen to you the first time.
In fact, this one reason my DH is so fearful to have more kids.
He does not fear I'd hurt them, but my mental state was so fragile then. I'm a very strong independent woman, very strong emotionally so for him to see me that way was extremely frightening to him.
It wasn't as though I was crying all the time either. It's so hard to explain.
This is a very very good topic that most women are very naive about. PPD or PPP does not have to include hurting your children or wanting to....but unfortunately it can.
It is always nice to hear (and respect) other people's opinions. As they say, until you've walked a mile in my shoes...I have very luckily never suffered PPD but I certainly believe it exists. I know my hormones are haywire after childbirth and although don't manifest in depression or anger (more like tired, crabby, chubby, headachey, and maybe on occassion smelly : ) ), I think all these hormonal changes just run rampant for some people.
I remember learning about schizophrenia in psychology class...often schizophrenics take their medication and when they feel better stop b/c they think they ARE better. Then they get worse, but are so consumed by it and don't realize they need the medication...or their doctor. If there is not a family member or friend around, they won't get help...and often do horrific things that they would never do had they been taking their medication.
I, by NO means, am saying PPD is schizophrenia OR that every schizophrenic does this (this is my disclaimer from getting bashed) but just using an example of how people in the throes of illness may not be able to see clearly that they need help.
I think the woman needs compassion if truly suffering from PPD and the child justice. How to balance the two is something our society has not done a very good job at...but again, it is not black and white. All this being said, I have no problem implementing the death penalty when warranted, but it should be when someone was cognizant of what they were doing and until such time as we know that she did (or did not) we can't really determine how she should be punished.
Have a great day...
As for the Andrea Yates case......That happened right here in my city and her husband got a lot of blame because she had been treated for mental illness but her treatment was pretty much a joke. And a doctor told them both that they shouldn't have anymore children after their 4th, but they went on to have their 5th (their only girl) anyway. There was also speculation that her husband was having an affair with someone he was working with. That's bad in and of itself but most especially when his wife was going through everything she was going through. He worked for NASA; maybe he still does. IDK
I agree with wonderme about revenge being a natural reaction to someone that has hurt an innocent child no matter what the reason. They cannot speak for themselves. They depend on adults to do that for them. I've already stated that this is a real illness. But I would say child molesters are sick too. But I have no sympathy for them. If it were my child that they were touching, they'd better hope the police get to them before I do is all I can say.
Oh, the one and only good thing that did come out of the Andrea Yates case (at least here in Houston) was that I did start hearing a lot more talk about PPD that I had never heard before. It was getting a lot more attention and publicity.
I do hate to see people use PPD or insanity, etc. as excuses for bad behavior. I do believe that that happens sometimes. Some women use Battered Women's Syndrome to off their husbands. I believe that one is real too but I also believe that some women use it as an excuse. I don't believe that every woman or man out there that kills or hurts their children are mentally ill. Some people are just mean. I guess the hard part will be being able to know the difference.
Great thread Mami. Very educational!
I still dont have sypmathy for someone who kills their OWN child regardless of their mental state. So all mentally insane people should be set free in the world because they didnt know what they were doing?!? So they could potentially do it again and again!
Michele Katy: You are very responsible...you know you have a problem with it so you get treatment immediately. That is very great of you!
I also know a woman that gets is after birth...with her first dd it took a little longer for her to get help, but with the second she knew right away!
Why didnt Andrea Yates know that...she had obivously been diagnosed with it...Drs adviced her not to have anymore. Yet she did! And now they are all gone!
I deleted it without posting, in one of my wiser moments of self restraint. There simply is nothing to say to one with your viewpoint and frame of reference.
There are some concepts that are apparently very difficult to grasp, and its often useless to try.
I don't think, even with PPD, someone holds no responsibility for taking another's life. But, there are some people who really don't know what they are doing is wrong -- even if it's only temporary. I am not well-versed in every state's legal system, but people who are found not guilty by reason of insanity are remanded to a psychiatric facility for treatment. They are monitored and treated as needed.
No doubt there are some who full well know what they are doing is wrong and should pay for what they have done. We don't know what this particular woman was or was not suffering from or what or what not she was aware of...or her husband/boyfriend/family was aware that she was having problems.
Andrea Yates clearly suffered from PPD and those around her in my opinion bear a great deal of responsibility...they were sane and did nothing to protect those children.
Susan Smith drowned her children and full well knew what she was doing...she should rot (or worse) right where she is. Instinct wants to strap her in a car and drive into a lake for her to die...I think, though, thinking about what she did for years and years and years might be a better punishment.
Just food for thought...not everything is one without the other...compassion and justice.
Nice day...
I am appalled by some of the comments others have made. I hope none of you ever have to deal with mental illness. People with mental illness do not think rationally. If this was
your family member would you want them killed in the same manner?
This has me so upset I cannot even post any longer.
Do I understand how/why someone does this? Absolutely not. Can I have empathy for a person who is in so much pain, and does something horrible? Yes. I am not excusing anyones actions. I never had to walk in that persons shoes though.
PPD isn't classic depression....I've been clinically depressed before. What I experience with PPD was not depression.
Was I depressed? No
Was I unreasonably emotional? No
Did I cry a lot? No
Did I think of harming myself or child? No
But did I have PPD - yes I did.
As for the women who don't understand how a mother could do such a thing....Well, I don't understand either but it doesn't mean I can't have empathy for the situation and even the woman to some degree.
I've had to experience schizophrenia first hand on a daily basis at one point in my life. It is very scary. The person disassociates with themselves and the people they love.
Their reality is not reality at all.
Anyway, I'm sorry that some people can't understand this.
No one here, not one mother excuses this behavior. Should these women be punished absolutely but punishment can only work if the person is first in their right mind. That unfortunately still has to be determined in most of these cases.
i just erased what i was about to write, i dont want another letter!
But my DH saw and recognized so many other things.....I owe him a lot for standing his ground with me on that one.
I had PPD too after each of my 2 kids, and knew after the first to get medication
at the hospital to ease through it with the 2nd. I NEVER thought of hurting myself or my children, just sad and kind of detached for little bit. None of us as mothers can image hurting our children, so I feel confident in saying that something must have been REALLY, REALLY wrong in her head at the time to make what she was doing seem like the only solution. People around dont even know a lot of times how severe it is, or really dont know what to do about it. I am sure the father of that girl never even thought for 1 second that it is possible that she would harm the kids, I am sure he felt that she was having trouble but loved her babies more than the world and would never harm them. I think that DOCTORS, especially men that dont truly understand the hormonal changes and what it feels like, need to be on top of every single patient after childbirth to make sure they are recognizing ANY signs of depression and making sure they ask the right questions because I think sometimes the mother doesnt even realize that that is what she is experiencing until later or is embarrased. I think we ar too quick to judge or say what we would do, fortunately most people will never experience depression to the point that these women do. My husband knew I had PPD, but none of our family knew, I did not want to worry anyone, and I think that is typical.
Women experiencing PPP have detached from reality. They can sometimes "cover" well enough that the family may not realize the exact extent of the disease. Or they may not have close family support. Or other factors may be at play that interfere with recognition and treatment.
But women with PPP have lost the capacity to reason, to recognize that they are sick and in need of help, and if there is no outside intervention, tragedy can ensue.
anyone who hurts a child needs to be put away forever or put down - my opnion - sorry if I offended any of you. PS I also believe in capital punishment. There is a 15 year old boy who shot and killed my uncle in 1992 sitting in jail for the rest of his life. He did not know what he was doing - he was just a kid having fun. Well he got life with no chance of parole, he has been in jail more then half his life now. As me if I feel sorry for him? My uncle's two daughters are grown now - their dad missed everything in their lives.
But you are right, how did no one in her family recognize or force the issue.
Yes, he's living in h*** everyday without his kids but I just think he should have done something.
It's sickens me to think of how afraid those kids must have been from their own mother. Especially since one was like 9..and watching it happen.
In a situation I experienced, the person I knew had schizophrenia, he was in a rage of some sort....distorted reality and pushed an 20 month old baby against the wall as he passed her in the hall.
Did not hurt her but it was frightening. To the baby, who loved adored this guy and for us. He did not get further than the backyard. He was picked up, restrained, insitutionalized and never was allowed to step foot near that home again.
I can't think about what happened to those kids - i cant allow myself to go there. Sometime when I put Eva in the tub it comes to my mind and I have to think of butterflies. I just dont know how she did that.
i am not making excuses. it is a terrible tragedy. PPD can happen to anyone- we all know that. but this girl definitely didn't have the stability and support system that many others are fortunate to have. like others have said in this thread, this case should be used to help educate teenagers, especially those who want to get pregnant. and poorer areas need the resources to educate both new moms and families. i don't know how or what the solution could be. but not long ago there was case case of another young mother from the same town that threw her baby over a bridge into the passaic river.
http://www.northjersey.com/news/Baby_stabbed_to_death.html
It just makes my stomach turn.
Well, I'm signing off for the weekend....
Going home to hug and kiss my kids.
***Choose to read this....Or Not*****
KILLING is WRONG! Compasion would be if this person knew what they did was wrong (after the fact)....and felt remorse for what they did. I dont know this woman so I cant say if she is in the corner of her jail cell crying, but I am assuming if she isnt treated yet...she doesnt feel bad. As a mother I know for a fact I would never hurt my child let alone kill them, so again I can not feel compasion for a parent taking their own childs life!
mami1323 i think it's awesome you started this.....
the posts getting edited, well that's a diff and messed up thing.....
it's great we can all discuss this, and maybe the thread will stay around long enough for others to be able to read it, as so many of you have shared personal experiences, as well as awesome information about the PPD PPP issues.....