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180483 tn?1229532768
Off Topic but I need HELP! 11 year old wants to date?
Hey guys.  I'm having an issue w/ my 11 year old son wanting to go to the movies w/ a girl!  Ugh!  I'm dead set against it b/c I think he's way too young, but is he?  Does anybody have a son this age that is interested in girls?  Am I being to hard on him?  I've considered taking them to the movies and sitting right behind them or between them but is this wrong too?  Help!  I just need some advice.  Personally I don't think I should even consider a "movie date" until he's at least 13 or older.  Whatcha think?
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127124 tn?1326739035
personally I think 11 is too young for a boy/girl movie date.   My daughter is 12, interested in boys but not allowed to date.  
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127124 tn?1326739035
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167 tn?1374177417
Maybe I'm a strict parent, but my children aren't allowed to go on a single date until they're 16. They've known this since they were little and they have followed it without question. My oldest daughter is 16 and did go on a dinner date once since turning 16 but she felt awkward and wasn't ready for that yet. Group dates only, until then. I think 13 is too young. 11 is out of the question in my book. Does he see it as a date though? Maybe he just sees her as a friend? Tell them to ask other friends to join them.
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167 tn?1374177417
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Avatar universal
I totally agree with With jenshim!
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180483 tn?1229532768
What about it being supervised by me?  Would you guys do that?  I think he sees it as a date b/c he says this is his "girlfriend".  I'm just not ready for this!  He's still my baby boy!
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127124 tn?1326739035
I wouldn't do supervised dating at his age.   He's only 11.  If he starts doing all this now what will he do when he turns 16.   Kids are growing up way too fast.  
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127124 tn?1326739035
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167 tn?1374177417
You are condoning this behavior by supervising it. The best for your son would be to tell him no, and that he is too young for a girlfriend. You shouldn't be ready for this and you need to take the lead, not him.
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167 tn?1374177417
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180483 tn?1229532768
I'm with you.  I guess I just needed to hear it from other parents.  I can't believe her parents would allow it!  If this were my daughter, I wouldn't even have to ask.  I hate to have double standards, but I do.  I want them stay kids for as long as possible.
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180483 tn?1229532768
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Avatar universal
No!!! Once you give in, that's it. Are you still going to be supervising his dates in a year? When he is 12 or 13 he will not want supervision...then what?

I made my kids wait till 16 and that was bad enough!
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484465 tn?1347117312
he's probably been "dating" a whole lot longer than you know of actually.  i know the children in the afterschool programs and summer camps had "boyfriends" and "girlfriends"  as early as kindergarten.  the little "relationships" always last less than a few days.  i think they're mostly done out of role play.  anyway him going out on a date is extreme.  tell him it's fine that he likes girls but that he'll have to wait until he's older to do that.
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484465 tn?1347117312
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I KNOW THIS MAY SOUND SEXIST BUT WHO ARE THE GIRLS PARENTS, MOST LIKELY(OR I SHOULD SAY HOPEFULLY) THEY ARE NOT GOING TO LET THEIR 11 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER GO ON A DATE ANYWAY. IF THIS IS SOMETHING THEY WOULD ALLOW I WOULD SEE A RED FLAG THERE.
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180483 tn?1229532768
I appreciate all your comments.  I went home yesterday and told him NO and NO exception.  He was floored but I told him he was too young and it wasn't acceptable.  PERIOD!  Thanks for all the advice!
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159354 tn?1286371288
I think you made the right decision....11?  Geez, I wasn't even thinking that way until 13-14 and still couldn't until 16.
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159354 tn?1286371288
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203342 tn?1328740807
That's the generation we live in. Kids want things sooner and sooner. We also live in a very sexuaized society so the kids are exposed to way more than we ever were at their age.
You did the right thing. What I did with my kids is told them they could go out with GROUPS of friends but not date one on one until they were 16. I let them start going to the mall with me and their friends at 13-14, I think. Then at 15 I let them go to the malls by themselves but they still had to have a group of friends with them and they needed a cell phone so I could get ahold of them. I tried to do this gradually. Of course, I found out my daughter was secretely "dating" a boy when she was 14 but I didn't make a big deal about it because they were only seeing each other at school. She knew the rules, she just always tried to push the envelope, lol.

It'd be a good idea to keep him busy in wholesome activities like sport, church youth groups or scouts. Sometimes having that mentor or coach teaching the same values as you and reinforcing them helps for them to hear it from others.
It sure is hard raising kids now days, isn't it!
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203342 tn?1328740807
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180483 tn?1229532768
Yes society today pushes everything so much earlier.  I have a 6 year old daughter who thinks she's 21!  I try to protect them as much as possible...more than my parents protected me.  I had sex at age 13 and DO NOT want that for my kids.  They need to stay kids as long as possible.  I grew up WAY too fast.  You guys give great advice!
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Avatar universal
When my husband told me that the school hands out condoms in 6th grade I freaked out - this is just the thing I am NOT looking forward to when DS gets older!  I agree also with the decision you made about not letting him date yet.  That is what I plan to do when my son gets to be that age.
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