Aa
A
A
Close
164559_tn?1233711618
Okay, now it's my turn to vent.....
I am self employed.  As such I am not entitled to any maternity benefits here in Canada.  If I was an employee I would have a year off.  

Fortunately, my dh is employed by the federal government and he can take parental leave of up to 37 weeks.  His employer will top him up to 93% of his salary.  My office is in our home so he will be hands on in my office and with our three kids.  He will not be on vacation, he will be working his butt off.

Today my fil tore a strip off my dh and told him there was no need for him to take paternity leave.  
That it was ridiculous and in his day there was no such thing.  (he's 78).  Of course there wasn't as women didn't work when they had kids they stayed home.  He thinks I am being lazy and that I should be able to handle running a biz (I manage 200 clients in the film and tv industry) and take care of a 16 year old, a 3.5 year old and a newborn.  

It is a good thing I wasn't there as I would have lost it.  This is my third child and with the first two I went back to work when they were days old.  It was brutal on me.  I remember nursing my ds, answering phones and emails all at the same time.  I work very hard and I contribute to my family.  But I guess because I work at home it doesn't really count.

Having my dh home will mean I can take some much needed time away from my office.  I may even get a chance to get some rest.  I don't understand why his parents don't see that this is a valuable thing for our family.  I think it is wonderful that he gets to spend this time with his kids.  How many dads get to do that?

Anyhow, I've had a crappy day all around and I figured it was just my turn to vetch and complain.....
Cancel
41 Answers
Page 1 of 1
172023_tn?1334675884
You are so lucky to have that paternity leave available!  37 weeks??  FANTASTIC!

Tell your FIL that your husband is actually struggling with severe sexual identity issues, and you guys thought you'd try things this way for a while.  That'll shut him up.  
Comment
Cancel
172023_tn?1334675884
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
172023_tn?1334675884
Or tell him that you are on crack and can't concentrate so well these days.  

(JK everyone.  JK.)
Comment
Cancel
172023_tn?1334675884
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
Avatar_universal
There's nothing to say, Peek said it all!
Comment
Cancel
Avatar_universal
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
164559_tn?1233711618
Very rotund pregnant women reaches into her drawer, pulls out a t-shirt and pulls it over her head, it says, "I love peek".
Comment
Cancel
164559_tn?1233711618
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
127529_tn?1331844380
You vent as much as you like!! What an idiot your FIL is! Good thing for you that you DH is nothing like him and is going to take the time off.

I am a SAH mom, I have a 3 1/2 year old who is dissabled and a 6 month old. I live thousands of miles away from my family and friends and have no one who can even babysit for 1/2 a hour. My husband works like 12 hours a day and doesn't help out at home at all, I even do all his washing and ironing, and he doesn't even see the kids mondays to Friday, I am up and out with them before he even gets out of bed in a morning (I get up at 6 with them, he doesn't move unitl 7.45) and they have gone to bed before he gets home at night.
5 weeks after I had my c section I was saying to my MIL that I didn't have time to make my husband a packed lunch every day (she thinks I should) and she asked me why not, she did for her husband when he worked and she had 2 kids.....blah blah blah.....her husband came home from work in time to give the kids dinner, play with them and bath them every night, my hubby doesn't and she didn't have Occupational, Speech and physio therapy to do with her child every day either.

In laws, they have not got a clue sometimes that things maybe different to when they had thier kids!
Comment
Cancel
127529_tn?1331844380
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
176741_tn?1295237589
Oh goodness, that's not very nice!  (just saw peek's response-Lol!)  You know, in your fil's day, EVERYTHING was different!  The expectations for each gender were much different, as was the marriage arrangement/agreement.  You and your dh have a much different marriage than his parents have I'm willing to bet.  If you two are in agreement over how to proceed after the baby is born, great for your family!  It is wonderful he can take that time off, for 93% of his salary, even!  I hope the two of you are strong enough to move forward despite what his parents may think, say, etc.
Comment
Cancel
176741_tn?1295237589
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
164559_tn?1233711618
I think I may have to change my handle when the baby comes......any suggestions?

And I am very thankful my dh can be with me.  He's great with the kids, he has a magic touch with cranky babies.  At church mothers pass their screeching babies to him and they instantly settle.  I don't know how he does it......

Now he's rebuilding a pump for the local mental hospital and he just informed me he has to bake some kind of gear in my oven at 200 degrees for 2 hours.....I think that is going to smell.  This is a side job, not his regular gig, he is a marine engineer for the Canadian navy (yes, we do actually have one)
Comment
Cancel
164559_tn?1233711618
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
172023_tn?1334675884
93% of his salary is awesome.  Just awesome.  That'll help buy more T-shirts!  Although Anxiousmomtobe is harder to put on a shirt that Peek.  

Comment
Cancel
172023_tn?1334675884
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
172023_tn?1334675884
Well, I think "Addictedtocrack" is in use over on the Addiction forum.  Hm, I'll have to put on my thinking cap.

(dons thinking cap, which holds an entire 2 liter bottle of wine on the top, with a flexible straw going down to the mouth area)
Comment
Cancel
172023_tn?1334675884
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
Avatar_universal
obviously, your mil raised your dh.  no man your fil raised WOULD stay home with his kids for 37 weeks!!  shame on whoever raised fil...(did people even HAVE sex 78 years ago?)....8>P
Comment
Cancel
Avatar_universal
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
172023_tn?1334675884
Myovenisstinky?  Mentalwife?  Myhusbandgotpaternityleaveandalligotwasababy?
Comment
Cancel
172023_tn?1334675884
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
164559_tn?1233711618
I will be joining you in a glass of wine as soon as I push this darling girl out of my nether regions....
Comment
Cancel
164559_tn?1233711618
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
172023_tn?1334675884
The problem with my thinking cap is that you have to duck when going under a low doorway.  I keep forgetting I have it on.
Comment
Cancel
172023_tn?1334675884
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
177988_tn?1266802499
You are very lucky to have your husband be able to do that! Mine is just checking to make sure he'll get 2 days off lol.  We are putting my school and work on hold but luckily I don't have other children to handle.  It sounds to me like you bring in a good portion or the income and why WOULDN"T your husband take leave if he gets such an amazing deal 93%?  My dh would be all over it!  I like peeks idea about telling him he's having sexual identity issues... heh heh.  That would shut him up!
Comment
Cancel
177988_tn?1266802499
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
Avatar_universal
no reason to ever get up TO go thru a doorway with that thang on!!!  I would hunker down in my La-Z-Boy and just read your run-together names all night long.  the "myhusband....ababy" was great, but myovenisstinky?----O--my--ever---lovin'---lord.  I was rollin....**wipes tears from eyes**
Comment
Cancel
Avatar_universal
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
Avatar_universal
Comment
Cancel
Avatar_universal
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
Avatar_universal
Is it patented?  If not, run QUICK to get signed up!!!!!!!!
Comment
Cancel
Avatar_universal
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
172023_tn?1334675884
Yescanadahasanavy?   Pumpbakerswife?
Comment
Cancel
172023_tn?1334675884
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
172023_tn?1334675884
I wonder if my neck is sore from my thinking cap, rather than my accident last week....
Comment
Cancel
172023_tn?1334675884
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
172023_tn?1334675884
Introduce me to some famous Canadian star someday.  That's all I ask.  

(um, ARE there famous Canadians?)
Comment
Cancel
172023_tn?1334675884
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
164559_tn?1233711618
Okay peek, you made me pee my pants......

I love this forum....

It's helped me through some really rough times and provided me with laughs and lots of warm wishes.  You are all incredible women.  

Oh and grammy you are right, my mil did all the raising of the kids....Fil brought home the bacon and she took care of everything else.  Normally I love my fil, even if he is a dinosaur.  Pregnancy does seem to bring out the b***** in me.
Comment
Cancel
164559_tn?1233711618
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
172023_tn?1334675884
Ah, so they live near me now, in Southern Cal.  LA is a stones throw from here.  

We should team up!   I'll be your US manager/liason.  
Comment
Cancel
172023_tn?1334675884
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
164559_tn?1233711618
Oh good grief, my fil just called, he wants to buy the house next door to me which just went up for sale
Comment
Cancel
164559_tn?1233711618
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
164559_tn?1233711618
yeah, but the all move to the US:(
Comment
Cancel
164559_tn?1233711618
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
164559_tn?1233711618
I need an LA contact.....a lot of my actors head down there eventually, most of them starve and come home with their tales between their legs.
Comment
Cancel
164559_tn?1233711618
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
172023_tn?1334675884
DON'T LET HIM BUY THAT HOUSE!  

Only bad can come of that.  

Ok, I'm the L.A. contact.  Do I just send my expense reports to you directly?  I'll be needing a Prada bag, porcelain veneers, and hair extensions.  
Comment
Cancel
172023_tn?1334675884
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
Avatar_universal
A wine cellar
Comment
Cancel
Avatar_universal
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
134578_tn?1446090952
Tell him you are thinking of buying the house next door to use for your business, which is so successful and is expanding.   Or tell him it was just bought by a lovely transsexual couple who will babysit if your husband doesn't get paternity leave.  Explain that they have better decorating taste than he does.
Comment
Cancel
134578_tn?1446090952
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
134578_tn?1446090952
Tell him you are thinking of buying the house next door to use for your business, which is so successful and is expanding.   Or tell him it was just bought by a lovely transsexual couple who will babysit if your husband doesn't get paternity leave.  Explain that they have better decorating taste than he (fil) does and you're looking forward to them as role models for the kids because they are better ones than he is.  Hmmmm... I guess that might sound a bit harsh, but I know some lovely transsexuals.
Comment
Cancel
134578_tn?1446090952
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
Avatar_universal
LMAO...... wow those are all great ideas of things to do and say!!
Comment
Cancel
Avatar_universal
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
172023_tn?1334675884
Tell him the house next door was built on some ancient Indian burial grounds.   Or that it used to be a Pet Cemetery years ago.    Borrow from the horror movie of your choice.  With your connections, hire a couple of actors to come over and spookify it for a couple of days.  
Comment
Cancel
172023_tn?1334675884
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
167_tn?1374177417
Hey girl, I think it's great that your hubby gets paternity leave! Sounds like FIL is very old fashioned. They weren't as involved back in the day. I had to jump on real quick to put my two cents in. I didn't read all comments though...seems all I do is pump these days. So, my new handle should be pumpqueen. Or, allshedoesispumps (: I hope you are feeling well. For how prego you are, that is. **hugs**
Comment
Cancel
167_tn?1374177417
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
221025_tn?1332558946
LOL - ok long day at work and then I came home to read this thread and it just made me laugh - I have a great new name for you - filissmokingcrack - good grief - I think I want to move to Canada just for maternity and paternity leave.  As for famous Canadians - can you get me an intro to Michael Buble??????  And then I read that you FIL wants to buy a home next door to you - has he ever watched Everybody Loves Raymond - love your heart - sending a hug your way cause you need it after all that!!!  
Comment
Cancel
221025_tn?1332558946
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
222234_tn?1216343635
you guys are really funny, I LOVE YOU ALL! tell your FIL that you are moving to live next to them, so they won't move and by that time the house will be sold! or that you are moving to another city and you are not staying in the same house, because it is  not enough for five. lol
Comment
Cancel
222234_tn?1216343635
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
164559_tn?1233711618
How did I find the funniest women in the world on one single forum....

My dh now wants to buy the house and turn it into two flats....it needs a fair amount of work.  He says we'll put my parents in one flat and his in the other.  He is trying to send me into labour!!!  I love my mother, but she would be buried in the pet cemetary if I had to live next door to her.

I do feel very blessed that my hibby can take leave this time.  With out son he was working at a university and they didn't top up, so he would have had 67% of his salary.  It made more sense for him to stay at work and me to hire an au pair.  She was wonderful, answered phones, took care of the baby and loved to clean my house.....

Jen, I've been reading all your blogs, just wanted you to know that you and Brody are in my thoughts and prayers today and every day.  I'm feeling pretty good, just very pregnant and very cranky as you can no doubt tell by this post.  I had a planing score last Thursday and everything looks great, lungs are mature she is head down, so if I go into labour at this point they will just let me go.  I go every thursday for an us and nst.

Reno, never met Michael Buble, he was just here in the spring for a huge concert, a lot of my friends went.  
Comment
Cancel
164559_tn?1233711618
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
Avatar_universal
i think it's up to both of you on how much time your dh can or should take off. it is amazing that he can stay home and bond with the baby and still get paid. children are children once and whatever you miss out on, you can never get back, so take all the time you both need and love your baby very much. oh, and as fas as unwanted advice or opinions, just do selective hearing.
Comment
Cancel
Avatar_universal
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
151154_tn?1208134182
Anxious, your fil is a donkey (as they would say on Hells Kitchen, my favorite show)

Peek-I'm still waiting for my hat!!!   Although the way it looks I might as well order a t-shirt.  Getting ready to pop here soon I think!
Comment
Cancel
151154_tn?1208134182
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
151154_tn?1208134182
How are you feeling??   You haven't been around much?   Are you still working?
Comment
Cancel
151154_tn?1208134182
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
175662_tn?1282217256
Need someone to work part time for you?!  I'm in the states!  I'm dreading going back to working full time 8-10 weeks after this baby is born (which is in a week and a half supposedly)

Peek you rock, your comments always make me laugh.
Comment
Cancel
175662_tn?1282217256
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
175662_tn?1282217256
No I've been on "Rest" since July 6th because of severe Vertigo and mild heart problems (my heartrate drops down to 37-44 bpm).  And I've had several days of contractions, but they weren't productive and seem to have eased up mostly.

If all goes well I probably will have to go back to work October 1st (they are looking at inducing me August 6th or 7th - 20-21 days early).  I post now and again but I'm hardly on line at all these days... so much to finish, so little time (getting married August 3rd!)
Comment
Cancel
175662_tn?1282217256
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
151154_tn?1208134182
Congrats!!!!!!   My one year is this Sat.  I can't believe it!   I should have my little man by next week.  Keeping fingers crossed!
Comment
Cancel
151154_tn?1208134182
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
Your Answer
164559_tn?1233711618
Answer
Know how to answer? Tap here to leave your answer...
Answer
Okay, now it's my turn to vent.....
Submit Answer
A
A
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Maternal & Child Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
233488_tn?1310696703
Blank
Marathon Running Done Over Many Yea...
May 21 by John C Hagan III, MD, FACS, FAAOBlank
233488_tn?1310696703
Blank
New Article on Multifocal IOL vs &q...
May 21 by John C Hagan III, MD, FACS, FAAOBlank
748543_tn?1443740527
Blank
TMJ/TMJ The Connection Between Teet...
01/15 by Hamidreza Nassery , DMD, FICOI, FAGD, FICCMOBlank
Top Children's Health Answerers