It has been one week and one day since losing my son Jaydin. I never thought at 36 years old, already having 3 children, that I would have been having another child, but, we were so blessed and happy beyond belief. at 24 weeks, the night before it all happened, I was feeling extremely tired and worn down. I had been at work all day, my feet and ankles were a little swollen and I ended up sleeping in the recliner that night. I woke up early the next morning, still felt a little 'off' but, went to work. (I work in a bank). After about 2 hours of work, I really started feeling bad, small cramping and such, I went to the bathroom and noticed that there was a small amount of blood in the toilet, and of course I started to panic, the pain came a bit more at that point, but, looking back, my lower back had been really bothering me for about a week, and I was told that was just part of pregnancy, which it is. After a trip in the ambulance, my contractions were seemingly right on top of each other as if continuous, they checked the baby and his heartbeat seemed ok, did a bedside ultrasound and didn't see anything. My blood pressure dropped to 70/55 and they rushed me to the OR. Jaydin was born at 4:12 in the afternoon on Jan. 21st, and lived for 30 min. He weighed 1 lb, 2.5 oz and as little as he was, he was perfect, beautiful. My fiance' got to see him before he passed, and when I woke, he was already gone. They allowed me to hold him and have him with me all night and through the next day. This has been the worst and most heart wrenching experience of my life. Part of me wants to try again for another, and part of me is petrified to even think about it. Obviously we are still in grieving, the funeral was this past tuesday.
Does anyone know the cause of this? I've been offered no explanations. I did also want to know, I had 1 miscarriage about 7 years ago, and then a blighted ovum a little over a year and a half ago before getting pregnant this last time and was told they should have put me on progesterone to help strengthen the pregnancy. Does anyone know if this would have truly helped? I'm so confused right now, but, I'm trying to find answers.
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