Please Help!! My 17 month old bites at daycare!

[Annice1234]

Okay, so my 17 month old has been biting at daycare...a lot!  He has 2 more weeks, and if he doesn't stop he's going to get kicked out!  I would be livid if I were the other parents and my child was getting bit.  Actually, my son got bit during his first week of daycare and I was upset.  The director even told us they all love Kaedon, and he's not biting to be mean...but biting is obviously not nice.  We've tried timeout w a teether, we given him motrin before taking him to school, we alwayss tell him no biting..but nothing works!  I have no idea what to do.  He's 17 months...it's not like I can ground him or something until he quits biting.  Does anyone have any suggestions?  I need help fast!  Thank you in advancee.

[91004]

Your probally not gonna agree with this and no one else will either I am sure, but when my son started biting and when my friends daughter did we bit them back. They have never bit again. When my youngest bit my oldest son he did the same and he quit doing it to him

[tiredbuthappy]

honestly, there's nothing YOU can do about the problem of a 17 month old biting at daycare. My daughter is very bright and 16 months. She certainly would not remember mommy telling her earlier in the day not to bite.

Biting happens. it is unfortunate and upsetting, but it happens. the daycare needs to work to prevent it from happening. time-outs aren't very effective with kids that young. He isn't sitting there thinking "oh. i'm here because i bit." he probably doesn't even understand why he is biting.

some biting will happen, but the daycare can work to help reduce the number of incidents. first they need to learn to predict what situations cause him to bite. is it certain kids? when playing in certain areas? spreading the kids out around the room more can help cut back on the numbers. I have seen many toddler teachers who put out 3 kinds of toys and expect 12 young kids to play nicely with these limited toys. some teachers severely limit choices to limit messes. this is generally not a good idea with such little ones.
~sensory activties can help soothe and occupy toddlers. do they do water play? any other sensory activities?
~the children need physical and creative outlets (other than simply dumping the kids on the playground). Is there music? Dancing?

when i had a "biter" i adapted. i learned that for a couple of weeks, i had to make sure there was a staff member near him at all times. if we saw a situation such as a conflict over a toy we quickly intervened before the biting occured and instead demonstrated appropriate reactions. keep the phrases simple and consistant. Label the child's feelings. "You're mad. Say, 'I'm mad'." "Tell him NO!" "That's not nice."

If I were you, I would sit down with the teacher or director and get more information on the program. Ask some of the questions I did (in a nonthreatening way of course). You may even want to take a morning and join the class. See what they are doing to prevent the problem. Are the kids busy? Is the staff chatting? by the way, inattentive staff can sometimes be a problem. Not that they are neglecting the children- it's just that sometimes if she pauses to share her date last night, she may miss subtle cues that something's going to happen.

This should fade within a few weeks. It's funny. I was very close with a family i used to work with. When i had their daughter, they always made a huge stink about their daughter bring bit in the previous class. As fate would have it, when their son reached that class, he was the "biter."

[AnnieBrooke]

My son bites when he is happy and excited.  Go figure.

[AnnieBrooke]

Just figured out something with my son, and nothing has worked so far except this.  (He bites my husband and myself, so if you are having problems with your son only biting other kids, then this isn't probably going to do much for you.)  My son knows the word "pat" (as in pat the cat) and "kiss," and I had always heard that it is easier for a child to replace an action with another suggested action than it is for them to simply "stop" doing something with no other action to replace it.  So when Augie wound up to bite, I stopped him and said, "No bite, pat."  (With the tone of voice making pat sound like a really nice thing.)  And darned if he didn't stop opening his mouth to bite and reach and pat me right where he was about to bite me.  It's worked several times, with me either saying, "No bite, pat" or "No bite, yes pat, yes kiss."  And when I say kiss or pat, I do kiss or pat him, and he does pat me back.  It's probably the attention (plus he has the "No No Yes Yes" book, so he is familiar with the litany) that does it.  As I said, this will only work if your son is doing it to you, unless you want to train all the kids at the daycare.  I hope you can try it.  Good luck!

[tiredbuthappy]

funny. that's how i got dd to stop biting me at 12 months. i taught her to kiss me instead of bite. when she bit me i said "ouch. no bite. kiss." The first few times she would bite and then correct herself and kiss. then after a while she would rest her head on me (often what she would do prior to biting) or lean in, then pause a moment and kiss. she hasn't bit me since.

[Annice1234]

Thank you girls so much!  Tired, I will definitely discuss those things with Kaedon's teachers.  I'm actually going to class with him on Friday so I can try to figure something out.  He didn't bite today or yesterday...yay!  Buut we are soo not out of the woods yet!  Ha.  Annie, that is pureee genious!!  I'm kinda hoping for him to bite me so I can try it!  haha

[jenstam]

I have a biter too! I feel so bad! Our daycare provider just yesterday told us he is biting and taking toys away from the babies! I asked her what SHE is going to do about it. He needs more attention in my opinion! This is unfortunately a normal toddler behavior for some kids. They need the attention diverted and not much attention focused on the bad behavior itself. Another daycare provider that I spoke with said to just say "Poor Brody, nobody wants to play with him because he's a biter". Then, ignore him for a bit. I guess that is taught in the Love and Logic classes, which I haven't attended.

Anyhow, I feel for you. I'm in the same boat! I feel bad for the other kids, and feel they think my kid is a big bully! He mostly does it when he's excited though, not when he's mad. It seems to be how he shows his extreme feelings.