Please i need help!!

i lost my little angel at just over 6 weeks old to SIDS.
i have a little boy whos nearly 4 who keeps me going...in the day.
but on a night i break down....i really dont no what to put?!? im so confused and just feel my head is completly shot!!
why has this happened?!?! the pain i feel is unbelieveable!!
i have ben offered councillin and i have alot of friends and family around me but its me...i feel i cant speak to people about it !
everyone tells me to remember the good times, and i do....but i always have the pictures in my head of when we found her! i feel i need to be with her...but then i think about my son and i no he needs me here! what can i do?!?!?
please help!
x

[bjbbeauchamp]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I know that must be really tough, but you can do it! Stay strong, as yes, your son needs you! I know it might be hard to talk with people about it, but again it might be best to help you with your feelings to talk with someone whether it be a friend, or family member, or a specialist? Maybe even someone who has gone through something similar?
Did you look on here to see if anyone else has experienced this? This helps me when I need to talk to someone or just vent or open up about something that is upsetting me.
Again, I am just so sorry you had to go through that, I can't even imagine, but if you ever need a friend, I am here to listen;)
God Bless!

[waitingwithhope]

I am so sorry for your loss! I encourage you to talk to someone else about it because there are many others who have gone through this- join a support group for parents like you- you will discover that they too have similar thoughts and feelings. You probably are experiencing guilt (even though you did nothing wrong) and an overwhelming sense that you have a gigantic hole in your heart and only people who have been there or are trained to counsel in this area can really help you open up and reassure you that you are not alone, you are a great parent and not only does your 4 year old need you but your baby that you lost needs you too. You see, you are the only one who can keep that baby's memory alive. The day will come when you can put out photos of your baby that you lost and share with others just how beautiful your baby was and that she will never, ever be forgotten. She always will be your daughter and you will meet again someday...until the time you meet again, you need to allow yourself to grieve (it is ok to cry and it is ok to cry during the day too in front of your 4 year old- he needs to know he can grieve and cry too and it is only natural that you are upset), you need to seek out help from groups, a pastor and/or a trained counselor and don't be ashamed to talk about your daughter. It is quite possible that other family members are waiting for you to make the first move and have not a clue what to say because they are worried they will make you grieve more. People don't always know what to say or do and sometimes end up going silent but don't mistake that for them not caring- they just don't know the right way to do things and I am certain that they support and love you and love your daughter that you lost. I also encourage you to keep a journal and memory book for her. Gather as much as you can and put it in one place for now and when you are ready, compile it together. A scrapbook is a great way to celebrate her life. I will pray for you as you go through this and I am so sorry you lost your sweet little girl.

[LosingMyMindInGA]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my oldest son at 37 weeks of pregnancy due to a cord accident, I can only imagine how hard it is after having gotten to know your child.  I really, really think you should check into grief counseling. Not just traditional but grief specific counseling.  You can also check into local support groups in your area for families who have lost children.  This is a very difficult time for you but your 4 yo needs Mom to be at her best.  Time does ease the pain and you eventually find little ways to keep you going and to move on, but it's a hard road.  I really encourage you to check into the grief counseling and support groups.