Potting Trainging

My son is 4 1/2 years old and still will not potty on a regular basis. I am registering him for pre-k this month and they will not take children that are not potty trained.  I have tryed just about everything.  Potty dolls, dvds, big boy pants, nothing seems to work.  He is speech delayed and I know he has a learning disability.  I am also expecting a baby on August 25 which I know will not help matters.  Can anyone help?

[ZevasMom]

I have a friend who used an incenive method.  Her 3yo daughter wanted barbie mariposa.... So, my friend said that for every day without accidents her DD would get a star on the calendar.  Once the month is full of stars - DD gets a gift... So far it has been 2 weeks without an accident.

[tiredbuthappy]

hmmm... if he is speech delayed and has a learning disability, it's possible that his delay in potty training is linked to that. i would speak to the ped about it. is he receiving any special services for his problems?
i work in a public preschool and we accept children who are not potty trained. i have also worked in a private center, and we also had to accept children who weren't potty trained. if it is linked to his special needs, it may be considered discrimination if they don't accept his because of not being potty trained. i would speak to your ped, the school, any case workers he has, etc... to find out.

[tiredbuthappy]

as far as tips on what may help, please provide more details on what he does and does not do when it comes to potty.
~does he recognize that he has to go?
~is he afraid of the toilet?
~is he easily distracted or busy and forgets to go potty?
~does he tell you if he has an accident or does he hide or deny it?
~has he ever asked to go or do you just automatically send him?
~when in diapers, does he recognize if he is wet or has had a bm?
~is he only pee trained? (very common for poop to come months later)

[klacy23]

I was getting him speech therapy through the public school, but I started working full time and I was the only transportation he had back and forth so he unfortunatly no longer recieves it.  I am going to speek to someone about him starting up at the new school where he starts pre-k.  The pediatrician did'nt tell me much but to just start him back up with speech, which I plan to do, and to be patient.  I know the nurse for the doctor told me they are going to recomend him for special needs once I register him.

As far as the details.  He gets VERY distracted.  I have to constantly ask him if he wants to go.  When he does realize and he isn't busy with something he will tell me he needs to go and then come get me when he is done to praise him.  When he has an accident he hides it only when he poo's.  When he pee's it's like he doesn't even notice it and it does'nt bother him, but that is when he is in diapers.  When he is in his underwear he is very good about trying not to go in them.  When he does have accidents he wont really say anything but I will find him like that and I can tell he is upset. The only problem with the underwear thing is the daycare he is attending now will not keep them in underwear unless they are fully trained.  He does not like to poo on the potty at all.  He has only done it a couple of times.  

I am so nervous about all of this.  It is really a struggle with me working so much.  His father and I are divorced and he lives like two states away.  I do have a boyfriend with whom I am pregnant for right now that I have been which for 3 years now living together and he excepts my son as his own but unfortunatley he works offshore and is not in much to help out.  I appreciate the replys and the help.