Potty training not going well ... help!

[casey's mom]

Really looking for some advice here regarding my son. He'll be 3 in August and has ZERO interest in potty training. We've tried getting him his own potty, incentive w/ M&M's, watching the potty DVD, showing him other family and friends his own age using the potty, we've talked about underwear, you name it .... we've tried it. I keep hearing others tell me not to really worry about it and he'll train when he's ready. That day never seems to come. And at this point I don't even want to try because we'll have a new baby in the house next month. And I've heard not even to bother. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

[duehring]

My advice is to wait. I have 5 kids and in my experience it does no good to push them until they are ready. I took months trying to train some of mine and they still did it when they were ready. I had one train at 3.5 years and the next on his 2nd birthday. Goes to show it isn't anything to do with the parenting.

If you let them do it in their time then there is a lot less accidents and going back and forth from diapers to underwear and back.

I have seen many kids train and then start having accidents when the new baby arrives. That is a bad time to train them I have heard also.

[peekawho]

Potty seats and chairs should come with a deflector for the "peanut".

[deanne11]

I bought my dd a potty seat and it came with a deflector for boys.

I kept it just in case a boy is on the way.  They also sell them separately....it fits on the toilet and/or potty seat.

[AndiJ78]

I agree, let them guide their potty training. My oldest took his time, going between the potty chair and "big boy potty" He finally potty trained completely at 3-3.5. I was worried as well as I had our second son when our first was 2.5 years old. I planned the same age difference between my second and third and decided not to even attempt the issue with my middle boy. I'll be darned if he didn't just start going on his own one day. He was 2.5 when he started piddling in the potty. He now is nearly fully trained with that, with the exception of the occasional wet pull up at night, but he hasn't gotten veyr far with "poopy" in the potty yet. He has gone a few times, but still has no real desire. Funny because that was what Jonathan did first.

We didn't have a need for the deflectors, both boys started peeing standing up right off the bat. Amazingly with very little dribble. I have tall boys though, they can both stand at the regular potty and do that, even my 2 year old.

[deanne11]

I have a dd going to be 3 in August too and her interest was there earlier and not now.

I'm expecting and now there is a new baby on the way, she doesn't want to be a 'big girl'.....So I'm not pushing.  I have quit diapers/pull ups cold turkey though (Except at naptime and nighttime)....If there are accidents, I wash extra clothes that day.

She does not like pooping on the potty....HATES it.!!!!  That is the biggest mess but I don't know what to do in those cases because the peeing on the potty is great (maybe one accident a day)....which sounds like a lot but I can handle it.

[Mme. Frenchie]

Is it better to do the potty or have them on the real toilet with a seat on it? I bought a potty for my son but I don't like it. The whole is too smal and if he would use it to pee, it would go everywhere but in the potty. Frankly, I don't even know how he could put his peanut (as he likes to call it) between his legs???? I have a baby due in October and my son will be 3 in August so I was hoping I would have it done by then....Sorry I can't be more help, I guess I am just creating more questions!!!

[myproblem]

Usually I would say to try to potty train a child by 3 years old. BUT...
boys usually train later, and you do have a baby on the way. I agree that you should wait. You will kill yourself off for nothing if you try right now. He will be so stressed out, and so will you, and then with a newborn, you can't be jumping up every 20 minutes to take him potty. I say wait until baby is at least 3 mos. old, and he has had a chance to adjust to that change.

[kathy1029]

I know exactly what you're going through. My son will be 3 in July and I'm due June 9th. He has no interest in the potty whatsoever. We bought Spongebob underwear and he wants to wear them over his diaper which I told him no.  When we ask if he wants to use the potty he says no and when we ask why he says because he dosen't want to. I'm hoping after the baby comes and I'm off work till October I'll be able to work with him more over the summer. Good Luck

[have 2 kids]

Both my kids trained on there own schedules.  My daughter was 2 when she announced one day that she didn't want to wear diapers/pullups anymore and wanted big girl underwear.  We said ok, but you must use the big potty.  
She did from that day forward.   She had 2 accidents the first week and never again.
My son was completely different.  We wanted him potty trained at 2.5 he wouldn't have anything to do with it.  He turned 3.5 still wouldn't do it.  
In desperation we told him he wouldn't be able to go to preschool or kindergarten until he used the potty.  He told us he would start using the potty when he went to preschool.  The day he started preschool he wore underwear -
he did have several accidents mainly at night and still occassionally now at age 7.
If they don't want to do it you really can't make them.

[wait and see]

hi my son is already three and iv tried everything i have family and friends saying he should be trained by now well my answer to them is go for it im on bed rest and he just doesn't care i think once the warm weather hits ill take him out in the back yard with lots of sun screen on and the potty and let him run free see if that helps failing that as long as hes trained by the time school start which is  a year away I'm OK with waiting for him to be ready

[AndiJ78]

I am not a fan of puching the issue, they will go when ready. If it is pushed too hard then it can become a power struggle and they will hold tightly to the one area they have total control.

We did the nakey thing to help things along. It really helped and now they both wear big boy panties,lol. T still wears a pull-up at night, but wakes dry most days.

[casey's mom]

Thanks so much everyone. Lots of great advice. And I think I'll put the whole thing on hold for a while. Good luck to everyone in the same boat!