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STRESSED
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STRESSED

I am beyond stressed my BF does not want to be with me again.  Talking about moving out, I am 16w 3d pregnant and have a 21 months old DD.  I just want to put myself 6 feet under.  Now I feel like I don't want this baby now.  I don't know if it has to due with the stress.  If he leaves I cannot afford to have my house on my own, I don't have that great of credit to begin with so I won't be able to get an apartment.  I hate my job, they are a**holes here.  I just wish it would all end and I wouldn't have to live like this.  I am ready!  I am never going to be happy
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I'm so sorry you are going thru this right now.   Does your bf do this to you often?   I know it is hard but try to hang in there.
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OMG hon is there someone you can turn to for help? Close friend or family that you can share this saddness with? I am so sorry you are going through so much right now. The baby will bring so much joy to your life. Does the BF want contact with his DD??

I hope that damn BF gets his head outta his a** and realizes what a good thing he has with you.
    Love and hugs, Kelly
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Im sorry you are going thru this right now.  preganncy is stressful enough without worrying about something like this.  Why does he want to leave?  Did you guys have a fight?  Im sure the only reason you are thinking you dont really want this baby is because of the stress he is putting you under.  Please try to hang in there.  Maybe try some counseling??
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have 2 kids- He left me almost a year ago when my DD was 10 months old to live with another woman.  And stupid me took him back and now we are expecting again.

Harley - Yeah he loves hid daughter very very much and would do anything for her, I guess he just doesn't want to be with me.  I have no one to turn too that is why I opened up a question just so I could have people at least listen.  Thanks for everything

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Wow girl, sounds like you are going through a lot right now. There are many ways of supporting two children as a single parent. I am the result of such an environment. You can do this I promise. Just remember how badly you wanted this little angel. Now he/she is going to be there before you know it. Your BF has played games with you before, I remember you telling me. You really don't need this stress right now! Tell him go if he is gonna go and stop screwing around! You have a life to live, a DD to take care of, and another little bundle of joy on the way! As for your job. I don't specifically love mine either. But I need the money. Can you go to a temp agency or anything like that?

From one pg woman to another, hormones are a b*tch! Try to relax and calm down. Rationalize with your head, not your hormones!! :o)   Everything will turn out alright, it always does. This I do believe :o) I will be thinking about you Froggies1.
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He says I don't care and that I don't show him any attention.  That is bologna.  It makes me wonder why I ever took him back.
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Thanks, you brought tears to my eyes.  As for the job I make $15.37 an hour and that barely covers the bills.  So I am stuck here for a long time.  I don't know what the hell got into him again.  MEN I hate them.
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you deserve so much better.   I don't know where you live but a lot of states offer daycare assistance, housing assistance, etc.  I remember hearing how exited you were about this baby so I think it's just stress making you say you're not sure you want it.  
Please think it thru before making any decisions concerning your pregnancy.  I'm here along with the others to listen and try to offer advice.    (((BIG HUGS))))
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I am so sorry....It is awful. I don't know what could I write to make you feel better.You are in my thoughts.
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Thanks I really appreciate each and every one of you ladies.  You are like my second family.

I just need to breathe.

I live in PA, when he left the first time I tried for assistance and I make too much money an hour plus child support.

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oh hunny well, there some body out there for every one and if he is threatening to leave let him. most men are passive agressive and they all hate altimatims when they still havent matured. dont give him an easy way out. if he says you dont care than fine. start to get things situated if he does walk out. start looking for low income housing. go to the court house and petition for child support. fill out the documents and have them ready. he walks you file. that will give you some aid in taking care of your little ones. keep your head up...=) hugs
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I am so sorry to hear you going through something like this.  You are right men are a**holes.  But you need to stay strong, if not for yourself but for your children.  There is a lot of help out there for single mothers.  Have you looked into government assistance like WIC?  I think you have to make less than $50k to qualify for help.  If you two do breakup he has no choice but to pay child support and that extra money may be able to help you sustain an apt. and other neccessaties (don't know if I spelled that right).

Girl, this man is no good.  He left you once for another woman and you give him a second chance and he does it again.  This is not a good situation.  Especially him knowing that you are pregnant.  How selfish can he be.  I'm not trying to amp you up but you don't need him in your life.  If he wants to be a father than that's one thing but he doesn't have to be your man.  

Whatever you choose to do, just do what's right for you.  Don't give him that much power over you.  You are an independent, strong, kind woman who can do this on her own.  Good luck and we're all here to support you emotionally.
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Thank you so very much I need to hear that as much as it hurts.  It helps.  I will keep everyone posted.


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Just be strong hun and know we are here for you!!  Men are def. a pain in the a** sometimes.  Hopefully he will get his sh*t together and realize what he has before he loses it for good!  Good luck sweetie!!  I hope everything works out!!
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where at in Pa.  I too live there.  just wondering.  I have a daycare and several of my kids get child care network, you would also qualify for WIC. which would cover milk, bread, cheeses and such.  There are always options.  You can do it and realize you may be more stable w/o him.  especially mentally...
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stephd - Thanks for being there.

5pre- kutztown pa, how about you
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I'm so sorry you're going through this. My ex-husband left me when our son was three years old. He was in the air force at the time and was overseas in Iraq during the war. One day he called and said he loved me the next day I received an e-mail from him saying our marriage was over. I had just moved back to the states and had no job, no home and didn't have a clue what I was going to do. My son and I lived with my sister and her three kids for a couple of months in a small two bedroom apartment. I felt like my whole world fell apart and I was devastated. Life goes on though and I realized that my son needed me so I had to get my act together for his sake. I'm not going to lie. It was really hard but it was worth all the trials I went through because my life is so much better today. I learned how to be independent and I found I can do things on my own. There are many programs out there that can help you out until you get your feet back on the ground. Always remember that your child and baby need you. You are the most important person in the world to both of them and they will love you unconditionally. I really wish you the best. Good luck with everything.
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You know I am always here for you.  You have my email address if you wanna talk outside of the forum!!  I just hope things work out for the best.  You dont need this stress right now.  You should be so excited right now cause you get to find out what you are having in a couple weeks!!
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I am so sorry you are having to go thru this also!  It has got to be horrible, and especially having to deal with a**'s at work and then come home to arguing with the bf! You will definitly be in my thoughts as well.  And being pregnant, my lord!  Just think you have your dd that loves you unconditionally and another one on the way that will feel the same way. If your bf doesn't want to be there for you tell him to go on, as hard as that may sound.  He may even rethink it if he thinks you are serious.  Well good luck!
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tinad - thanks a bunch it is good to hear someone expereinced the same thing and was able to make it.

stephd - yeah I should be so excited and I am not right niw.
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I know it is so hard I have been with him since I was 15  it will be 9 years 2/16.
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Yeah..they sure do!  I took a trip up to Easton to see family last year..and round trip, the gas alone cost me almost $400.  Needless to say, i haven't made the trip since..and won't make it again any time soon!  Hopefully, this spring...I'll be able to bring a healthy little girl to meet my family.  But that's only if these gas prices don't go up any more.
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You may have a hard road ahead of you but I'm positive that you'll make it too. My heart goes out to you. Good luck with everything.
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I am also 24.  I just don't understand what the hell is going on.  I have my parents but they can't help me either, my dad can no longer work and they are living off my mom's income and I can't even live with them, they live in a 2 bedroom trailer.
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I'm so sorry you are going through this.  Can you rent out a room in your house?  My cousin did that and it helped her to keep her house.  Maybe with child support for two children you can make ends meet?  Have you considered doing home daycare?  I know it's a lot of work, but you'd be your own boss and could be home with your kids, saving yourself daycare money while earning money.  Just a thought.

Mickey
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I only have a two bedroom one for my kids and one for me.  I thought about it, but I need money saved up first until I ge extra income.
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I say that emotionally you may be better off without him. On the other hand, you need to support your household somehow. If I were in your shoes, I would threaten to sue for child support and have his wages garnished if he leaves. And for goodness sake, don't take him back again if he goes.
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Oh you broke my heart when I read your post. YOU, DD &BABY should not have to go through this stress. I know you want that bundle you are carring it is just that your BF is stressing you out now!!!!!!! You are such a strong woman with such a big heart. You have helped me through so much & I want you know I will listen to you & try to give the best advice I can. I know it seems hopeless without BF but it may be better for you. Maybe you need the freedom, remember you said when he did this last time you got used to being alone with DD & you liked it. Just try & calm down & worry about you not the s**t he is putting you through! Hang in there~ Joy
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I'm so sorry you have to go through this!  I swear some men are such idots.

Hey...if i recall correctly, don't you live in Kutztown?  I have a friend in Allentown the ran into a similar situation.  She has 2 kids and her bf skipped on her.  Obnoxious!  But, anyway, the state offers assistance for emergency money situations...such as assistance with utilities.  they worked out a program with her where she only had to pay $35 a month for her power bill until her situation straightened out or until she was able to get on more permanent assistance.  She was also able to get food stamps and daycare assistance.  It may not be a whole lot...but every little bit helps.  Maybe you could look into the women's resource center near you.
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pearl - I know, I just don't want to go through this **** again.  It's like he wants to be with us or not.  I feel like it is a game to him.  I know I could do it physically, just financially it is rough.  I make to much money.  And then child support on top of my income.  I hope he is just having a bad day or something stupid.

face - Yeah I live in Kutztown.  Where are you from?
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The first time he left what did you do?  How did you survive that time?  Well, definitly file for child support if he leaves.  I don't know what else to really suggest if you don't have anyone else to help u.  I understand what u said about your parents.  But I had noone to go and my parents travel from job to job and leave in their camper, my dad is in constrution.  And they only have 1 bed in the camper and a living room, bathroom, and they are letting me stay with them, only my dad works.  I have to do this b/c i can't support myself right now due to my car payment and insurance and a few other bills, plus food, gas, etc.  So i'm doing what i have to, to survive.  So I wish you luck in whatever u do.  But things will eventually look up for you when you figure out what u will do, and you will be happy when you see that baby come out of you! i promise!! Good luck girl!
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It was close to income tax time so I had that money.  I just hope he is having a really horrible day at work or something.

I will keep everyone posted
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Did he just spring this on you today? Do you think he is seeing someone else like he was last time.
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I'm in Florida now, but i used to live in Easton, Allentown area.  I know where Kutztown is....I used to spend summers there at my uncles farm.
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Sorry, i missed the too much money part.  I hate the standards they put on how much $$ you can make to be considered self sufficient.  I had to leave my job early in the pregnancy due to complications.  And we're now solely living on my husband's income....sometimes we barely have enough at the end of the week for gas in the car...but according to the state, he makes too much money for me to get state medical assistance...so we're stuck paying over $100 a wk for me to be on his insurance at work...and well, that put a hurtin on our financial situation.  We had to move home with my mother.  Talk about wounding our pride! lol.
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harley - Yeah he just told me over the phone this morning.

face - Wow it is such a small world.  I love florida.  I know how you feel with the money thing.  Gas prices suck too./
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MEN!!!!! they just infuriate me sometimes.
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I am sooo sorry to hear about your situation....but if he wants to be a pain in the a** then it's time to play hard ball.... If he leaves then he has to pay child support...so there will be a little bit of income, also I would check with social services and get a case manager(worker) to see if they can help you with some sort of assistance...there has to be a way that you can do this...it's just finding that loop hole...which I have the faith that you will be just fine... you are strong..... MEN, Whay do they need soooo much attention???!!!! lol..... anyway don't stress out!!!  I believe that it will all work out....and don't let you bf see that you are stressed... hopefully things will just work out with your bf and maybe he is just having a bad day.....   good luck and let us know how you are doing!!!  Jacquie
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hey...im sorry that you're in such a terrible phase of your life right now but pls tell yourself that it will get better pretty soon... dont ever think of getting rid of your baby, because its a special blessing from GOD. look at me, ive been ttc for 7 years now yet no luck.... so if ever you need help, i am willing to take care of your baby for you...just please don't do something to hurt him/her.....

much love from accross Lake Michigan
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wow, your about the same age as me, i'm 24.  I was with my exhusband for almost 5 years, we had our daughter and everything.  We fought and stuff but i still thought everything was ok, and then when my daughter was 1 1/2 he left me for another woman, well then a 16 year old.  And he broke my heart.  We just recently have gotten our divorce and he has had another baby and i'm 13 wks now.  But i still love him and don't ever think i'll love anyone the way i did him, but you CAN let him go, which i know how hard it is, and easier said than done!  But if he is going to keep treating you like this you can do it.  Do you have any relatives or friends you can turn to if you do decide to do this?
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Thank you all for you kind words and encouragement.
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I am sooooo sorry for whats going on to you.But please stay pos. my sis whent threw the same thing 10 yrs. ago.Her ex left her and my two neices for anouther women and practicly homeless.
she was very depressed and almost forgot about her daughters and their needs.No man is more important than your kids first your a mother than a wife.After she came out of her funk she got it together got an apart. public assi. for a while and know she met her knew husband who accepted her and her two kids now she recetly had her fifth and last baby.And is happier than ever.I am so proud of her as so are her d/d's now 10&12 they remember the strugle their mom did for them and respect and admire their mom even more.So you see the doors might be closed on you right now but maybe its a blessing in disguise.You have to think about yourself and your two angels you are not alone.please think with your heart and take care lol nanis
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Froggies1, maybe my story will make you feel a little better.  I am 32 weeks pregnant with my first child...I am 36 years old.  My ex BF has been having an "affair" with someone over the Internet and has decided he wants to be with her (although she lives in Utah and he lives in NY).  My company got bought and my department (45 people) got laid off, including myself.  At the end of the month I get my last pay check and will lose my medical insurance.  No one wants to really hire me right now (and I can't blame them).  My family does not live in this country and I don't have many friends in this state as I just moved (apparently to be knocked up by a schmuck).  I also won't get severance because I was just 9 months with the company and don't make the cut.  I am freaking out and had to spend Tuesday night in the hospital with contractions due to stress and dehydration.  I think I'll go crazy, especially since I have no savings, as I just moved to a bigger apartment to make way for the baby and had to pay 1 month down, 1 month security and 12% of annual rent (hefty in NY) for the real estate broker.  Only good thing I have in my life right now is my daughter.  It's a miracle I haven't flung myself from one of the many skyscrapers in this city.  I have no clue how I'll do it...but somehow I will have to wing it because now I have a baby girl who depends on her Mom's pseudo-sanity.  Whew!  Just writing this down helped me.  Hope things work out and hang tough, you can do it.
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Froggies1, maybe my story will make you feel a little better.  I am 32 weeks pregnant with my first child...I am 36 years old.  My ex BF has been having an "affair" with someone over the Internet and has decided he wants to be with her (although she lives in Utah and he lives in NY).  My company got bought and my department (45 people) got laid off, including myself.  At the end of the month I get my last pay check and will lose my medical insurance.  No one wants to really hire me right now (and I can't blame them).  My family does not live in this country and I don't have many friends in this state as I just moved (apparently to be knocked up by a schmuck).  I also won't get severance because I was just 9 months with the company and don't make the cut.  I am freaking out and had to spend Tuesday night in the hospital with contractions due to stress and dehydration.  I think I'll go crazy, especially since I have no savings, as I just moved to a bigger apartment to make way for the baby and had to pay 1 month down, 1 month security and 12% of annual rent (hefty in NY) for the real estate broker.  Only good thing I have in my life right now is my daughter.  It's a miracle I haven't flung myself from one of the many skyscrapers in this city.  I have no clue how I'll do it...but somehow I will have to wing it because now I have a baby girl who depends on her Mom's pseudo-sanity.  Whew!  Just writing this down helped me.  Hope things work out and hang tough, you can do it.
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