Santa Claus...what age does it stop?

So, I was just wondering how/when children stop believing.  is it a parents job to tell the child at a certain age???  I remember I found out somewhere around 10yrs old because my brother took me to the basement and showed me the presents(he was fully punished for that too, lol).  I am just worried because I have a step daughter who will be 10 soon, but my kikds are 7, almost 4, and 2 mnths.  I am just afraid that my step daughter will find out soon and tell my kids..which i'm not ready for.  So,I guess my question is...at 10yrs old, is it normal to stop believing, and if so...how to handle it with my kids...do older children usually ruin it for younger ones(like my bro did for me?)

[April2]

Actually, in this day and age 10 is pushing it. My kids found out around age 8 or so. They start to figure it out and put two and two together. They hear things at school and they pay more attention to things going on at the house (like the hidden presents). They will start to ask you if Santa is real. That's when you have to decide if you really think they're ready to hear the truth. You can kind of tell when they're ready.
When my son asked, he was around 7 or 8 and we told him the truth and he cried! We felt just awful and wondered if he really wasn't ready yet. When it was my daughter's turn, she was around 8 I think, and she was more accepting of it. She told me she had already figured it out. She also said that she knew I was the Tooth Fairy too! She said she had opened her eyes a little one night when I was putting money under her pillow, lol.
Still, I wonder with my third child if I want to go through that, you know? I have a friend who taught her kids that Santa was a nice story but that he wasn't real. I used to think she was weird to do that but now I don't know. I just don't know if I want to go through that again! I guess I'll play it by ear.

In any case, when your older ones find out, ask them to play along for the younger ones sakes. This will make them feel important and grown up. That's what I did. I hope this helped a little!

[surprisebaby]

What do you mean???  OMG...there's no such thing as SANTA????  WAAAAHHHHH!!

Actually, I know of a few kids who are 12 who still believe!

[1nana]

My son was 4 1/2 when he found out there was no Santa. He refused to go along with keeping it a secret for his little sister's sake. He told us that was "lying" and it was wrong. Couldn't argue with him, so needless to say my daughter grew up always knowing the truth and never had a problem with it.

Kids who don't believe in Santa can ruin it for others who still believe. My son announced to his kindergarten class that there was no such thing as Santa. Imagine all the upheavel that caused!

[Quinns momma]

Heck I am 33 and I still believe!!  

Just explain to the older siblings that although they know that Santa is not real that it is still a magical time of year and that they should help you keep the little kids believing. My older sister actually helped my Mom keep the belief real for me.  She would tell me that she heard the weather forcast for X-mas Eve (snow) or she heard the Santa knew I was a good girl. etc... It was fun for her to do this.

[7preg3b]

my daughter found out about 2 years ago but now she gets to help play santa too which makes it fun for her..  she really enjoys that..  my son was told at easter he is 10 now..  he is enjoying the little ones and santa..  

[New Mommy 2 Be 2007]

nowdays kids stop believing at 8 or 9! they know too much these days, i stop at 11

[have 2 kids]

My kids both figured it out at 5 yrs of age on their own.    

[pertykitty]

my son is 10 and while he questioned it he finally found out this year thanks to his ding **** dad lol.  i have told him to keep it under wraps for the younger kids and i believe he will.

[pcarsey]

My son is 11 and while other people have told him there isn't a santa I have always told him there was so he just "questions" me like a detective now....lol I think he wants to believe there isn't one, his mom who could tell him chocolate milk comes from turkeys he would believe me, so he just still has a ton of questions on the possibility of either or...lol One day he will figure it out for sure, but I also think that when he does we will talk with him about how he loved the "idea" that santa was real and not tell Brayden!

[Pearl99]

Someone told my daughter when she was like 6 or 7 (an evil 11 yr old) and she just didn't believe her, wasn't ready. Now that they've figured this out, analyzing handwriting on gift tags, pricetags, snooping around  (maybe definitively at 9 and 10), BUT they  still like to "play" along. I think they need to give it up naturally.

For their baby siblings, they are definitely going to help make the game(s) for them. I like the line when they confront you, you just answer "What, do you think PARENTS do all this?" (kind of like in ELF the movie). We also gave up Easter bunny but not the scavenger/egg/basket hunt and the tooth fairy (but not the pillow/$ part).  Now they just like pretending....(and getting stuff).

[StacyJ922]

I have a 7 yr old who still believes. My son spilled the beans last year, but we fixed that. I told her Santa is VERY MUCH real. In spirit and in belief. Now my son knows there's no "real" person out there going to come down our chimney, but in spirit, Santa is who allows us to even have a Christmas :o)

Stacy

[Aydensmommy]

I swear I was in 8th grade before I accepted it!  I really hope my kids believe as long as possible.  

[jenstam]

My girls were/are all late bloomers when it comes to "believing". I am actually SO tired of being Santa Claus now for nearly 16 years that I finally just told my 11 1/2 and 9/12 year old daughters a few weeks ago. I asked them if they really do believe there is a Santa. They both said Yes. I finally just kind of told them that I am Santa. BOTH of them cried and I felt horrible!! I thought I could get a break for ONE YEAR before I have to play Santa with Brody but I guess not. So, my 11 year old has accepted that there is no Santa but my 9 year old is in denial. She thinks I was lying and refuses to believe he is not real! My two oldest daughters were both around 11 and have been really great in helping keep it a secret and even helping me be Santa. I do it very good every year, apparently! I use different wrapping paper and I unbox EVERYTHING so it looks like the elves made it. No price tags, no boxes or wrapping around things and I use a special pen and a special writing style to sign Santa's name on the packaging.

Now, Brody doesn't really understand Santa yet. Next year he will but I am contemplating bringing him up with the idea that Santa is just a fun story but is not real. I just don't know if I want to do this for another 10 years! LOL...

[have 2 kids]

I remember being upset that my parents had lied to me.   With our kids we open gifts on christmas eve.  Christmas morning they would have 1 unwrapped gift.  We never actually said it was from Santa.  They had heard christmas stories and just figured it was from him.  When they figured out he wasn't real they weren't upset - we hadn't lied to them.
We told them a story of a man a long time ago that gave gifts to boys and girls that didn't have any presents.  After awhile moms and dads starting doing it to carry on the memory of the kind old man, etc.  

[jenstam]

Right, it is lying. That's what I have struggled with also. But it is so magical for them when they are little. I remember waking up Christmas morning and seeing all of the gifts that Santa brought after I went to bed. I also remember trying really, really hard to be good so I would get gifts from him! But, the pressure this Santa ordeal has put on me as a parent has been ridiculous. Like, how many gifts did Santa give each of the kids, are they equal? Is there enough? Which ones are from me and which from Santa? I don't know...maybe I made it into too big of a deal. I'm ready for Santa to be just a story but not "real" to them anymore. I think it is perfectly fine to raise your children not believing from the get go. I'm all for it!

[ziggysgrl0724]

I totally agree with what your saying.  after I wrote this, I found my 9y?o step daughter does still believe.  I was actually cointemplating telling my 7 y/o the truth, but my mom forbid me from douing it, lol.  I always struggle with the "which gifts are from me and whichare from santa" thing.....it usually works out to where to seems like me and Dh havent actually given them anything...they have a whole bunch of gifts from santa, and they have giifts from my parents, and my brother....but everything we buy them we make from santa...I think I will do that differently this year.....

[April2]

I used to give one gift for each child from Santa. The rest were from Mom and Dad and relatives. It kept things easier. They understood that Santa had a lot of children to give presents to and that's why they just got one!

I'm like some of you. I've debated about even starting over with this with my four year old. I don't like the idea of lying and him getting upset when he finds out, yet I know it's fun playing the game with them when they're little. I'm just real torn about what to do yet. We've pointed out Santa to him but really haven't gone over anything yet with him. I'm trying to teach him the real meaning of Christmas first, about baby Jesus, etc. I always tried to make that more important to the kids since that tends to get lost in the hustle and bustle of shopping, pictures with Santa, baking, etc. Poor Jesus got shoved to the side when we all got so commercialized over Christmas and it really is celebrating his birth!

One thing I thought was interesting and taught my kids after they found out about Santa was teaching about the real Santa, or Saint Nicholas. He was a kindly priest who started giving gifts to the poor children where he lived. It was his way of honoring Christ's birthday. So I would tell my kids that there really WAS a Santa, he just didn't fly around with reindeer, lol. I wonder how that ever came about anyway?

[jenstam]

April, I'm not sure how that came about. It's worth Googling though! I think I really will do as you said with my son and just tell him about the kindly priest Saint Nicholas and just leave it at that. We could maybe even do the one gift from Santa for him that is knowingly from us but I'm not doing things the same as I did with my girls.

Also, I never liked the idea of me busting my butt shopping, wrapping, hiding, staying up late and then not getting the credit for any of that because it was Santa that did all the hard work! (:

[cantwait4baby]

WHAT - there is no Santa????  sniffle sniffle.......  As soon as they ask they know something is up.

[pcarsey]

Hi Ladies,
What I am thinking about doing with Brayden is teaching him all about Jesus , Santa (Saint Nicholas), and the true meaning of Christmas and then giving him a gift that would be to Jesus but because he is no longer here, and we still celebrate his birthday once a year that I am sure Jesus would want the gift to go to each little kid. So it will still be in honor of Jesus... and still some from Santa (Saint Nicholas).

I'm still working out the details in my head, but this is a start...lol

[treazzure007]

i remember not figuring it out until age 10 or so (the glory of innocence!!! lol)  but anyway, my son never believed/learned about santa.  i never taught him about santa and reindeer and such and he has been in christian school since age 3 so where they don't discuss santa at all.  Christmas is all about Jesus and Christianity.  kind of takes away the magic of fairytale for me, darnit.  

i still love you Santa!!!

[alaysha]

With the whole santa/easter bunny/tooth fairy thing I refused to not believe! Haha! I don't think I gave it up until I was in like 7th grade! As for doing santa for Aspen... I think I am going to try it out but I don't know how long it will last. I'm pretty competitive and even though santa will be me I'll probably try to outdo him. Like the best gifts come from mommy but santa gives gifts as well.

Haha I need therapy.

[2ndBaby]

One of my 6th graders and I were talking about this just today...she said her mom told her that when she stops believing in Santa, Santa will stop bringing her presents.  She obviously doesn't believe anymore, but she isn't going to spoil it for her whole family.I think that is the route I will take with my daughter as she is five years older than my son.  She squeals and she is cut off!  :)

[AndiJ78]

I love the idea of Santa and hope it continues for a long, long time. It is magical and in a world with so many harsh realities at every turn, I rather enjoy the notion of a little happiness brought to the kids by Santa.

The joy for me comes from seeing their eyes light up when they get the gift they really wanted, whether is has my name on it or Santa's is worth the trouble of different wrapping papers. The thrill of seeing my two oldest boys sitting on Santa's lap like they are talking to an old friend, telling them about the last year, recounting summer vacation, and pondering the one thing they really want for Christmas.

What can I say? I love it all.  

[jenstam]

My oldest daughter Chelsey and I had this discussion last night. She said I am cruel and wrong for even thinking of not having there be a Santa for Brody. She says I'm mean for telling Brooke and Alexa there is no Santa.

I too, enjoy seeing that magic in their eyes and their faces light up when they get up early and see those presents. It really is magical. It has just put so much pressure every year...so maybe what I will do is get that one big gift from Santa and then the rest are from me. I used to do it the other way around so that they had only a few smaller gifts under the tree and then the majority from Santa. When I was a single Mom for a number of years I always said "Do you think I could afford all of these gifts? Thank goodness for Santa!" They just thought that made sense and believed for so long. I guess Brody deserves that, too. Ben also, since this is his first child.

[alikat1205]

I told my daughter at age 11, and I probably would have told her at 10, but was trying to stretch it out because she has a younger sister (I think she suspected anyway).  Her sister was 4 at the time and she was told not to tell (and still hasn't, she's 13 now, her sister is 6) and she is Santa's helper and loves to keep it going.  Once her sister is off to bed, she can fill her stocking and put out Santa's gifts to her sister.  Of course, I still fill hers and put out her gifts after she goes to bed, and she knows I am doing it, but still enjoys it all!

[heatherlynn22]

my brother stopped believing when i did. he was 4 and i was 9. he cried and cried and cried....i just kinda looked at my mom and said...yeah i know.

we caught her putting the "santa" presents under the tree one year.

with our boys....i don't know what we're gonna do.

[alikat1205]

my oldest caught me putting out presents when she was 3.  she would NOT go to sleep and at around 2 a.m., she FINALLY fell asleep on the couch.  i had all of the presents wrapped and hidden in the trunk of my car.  i was beat so i ran out to get them, and she woke up on the couch as i was putting them out.  i told her santa got tired of waiting for her to go to sleep already and left the gifts out on the porch so i had to bring them in, and she believed me!!!!!!!!!!!

[peekawho]

I think if there is "pressure", its pressure you put on yourself.  

I think that 11 and 12, they should understand that there is no "real" Santa, because they may be teased or humiliated if other children find out that they still believe.

For younger children, I do believe in the magic of Santa and all that goes with it.  I agree with your other children who think it would be unkind to spoil it for Brody, because you are tired of "not getting the credit" for Santa gifts.  Later, they'll understand that you were "Santa", and they'll love you for carrying on the tradition and the magic.

Growing up, we had one or two big gifts from Santa, and the rest from Mom and Dad.  There doesn't have to be a lot of pressure on you to do more than that.

[GRose]

I think I was about 7 when I stopped believing in Santa. I was counting how many presents were mine under the tree and amongst all the gifts that said "from Mom and Dad" I found on that said "From Santa". My parents tried playing it off like they were just helping Santa out but I knew they were lying.

[jenstam]

No, that's just a small piece of it...the not getting credit. I could really care less about that part of it. I was just being silly. No credit should be given or expected! I have more than gone out of my way in years past...for 16 years now...and friends and family alike have asked me why I go to the length I do. Well, because I wanted it to be magical for them. It has been...but I guess after four I just have decided to rethink the lengths we go to.

I agree completely that the pressure is self imposed. I take full credit for that. So many years I sit and stress over what is from Santa, do they have enough, will they be happy. They got the majority of their gifts from Santa. I did it wrong from the beginning and then I could not really change it because it's what they expected.  I do not buy them many things all year but Christmas is one thing I just want them to feel special and have fun. My mother did the same for us and it was stressful for her, too. She still does to this day for my kids.

I'm just saying...for my son it will be different. But to make it different, they each need to know that I am Santa...because from this year forward, Santa will do things differently.

[Jame0223]

I was like 6 or 7 and my brother was 10. He found out and then took me on a present hunt...and we were successful. We didn't say anything until after we opened them. My parents were kinda ticked that my brother ruined it for me..but now scars here. I didn't really care much! lol I would say I would let them go as long as they want believing it! Most of the time another kid will tell them theres no such thing sooner or later. Just let them down gently! lol

[BabyHardiman]

Question.  If you tell an eight year old that Santa is no longer "real", then do you tell her 5 year old sister too?  Or, do you continue to give Santa presents to both so that the five year old doesn't question why her older sister who is only eight did not get gifts from Santa.

My fiance's ex told her eight year old that Santa was not real, but failed to mention that to us, so when she asked me I carried on with "oh, yes!  he is real!".. dumby me!

[alikat1205]

i don't tell the younger and still give gifts to both.

[StacyJ922]

The funny thing is, Santa has been around for YEARS! None of us were scarred for finding out Santa was really our parents. I don't stress over either of my kids ever finding out the truth. Because again SANTA IS VERY MUCH REAL IN SPIRIT!! I still believe that to this day ONLY because my parents and grandparents enstilled that in me. If it wasn't for the true Santa (our inner love for the whole spirit) what would Christmas be anyway? It's the fun of all of it. I don't stress over how many from Santa and how many from my hubby and I. They get a few from both :o)

I'm not so sure our own parents or grandparents stressed as much as we do about the kids finding out.....

Stacy

[April2]

What would Christmas be without Santa? Well, that's the problem. I think we've forgotten what the true meaning of Christmas is all about.

I still don't know what I'm going to do with my youngest. I just remember how my oldest cried when I told him and how awful I felt. My daughter took it better but I just don't know. I really don't want my kids to think that that's all there is to Christmas, that it's all about Santa and presents. I think it's sad that it's become so commercialized too. You go to the mall and everything is Santa! Even the songs playing. There's nothing about baby Jesus anymore. How sad is that? That's what CHRISTmas was, the celebration of the birth of Christ. Now it's just another secular holiday, way too commercialized like all the rest. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against good 'ol St. Nick. I just want to make sure my kids understand what the true meaning of Christmas is all about.

By the way, I made a journal about the real Saint Nicholas in case anyone is interested.