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Sex AFTER Having a Baby
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Sex AFTER Having a Baby

Hi everyone.  I gave birth to a beautiful 6 pound 7 ounce baby in Sept.  I had a natural delivery with a partial episiotomy.
I still find it unbelievably painful to have sex with my husband. I hate even trying (emotionally and physically) and I know he's at his end......
My dr said I am completely healed but I don't feel like it.  Infact, having sex, hurts more than the actual delivery..... granted a had an apidural but I still think it's unsual after almost 5months to be in this much pain during and after.  It's internal pain too not just where the episiotomy was.
Has anyone else ever had this?
On a side note though, I do have endometriosis and I'm wondering if the scar tissue has all grown back.  I haven't had my AF since before I got pregnant because I'm still breastfeeding.
I am seeing my dr next week.
Thanks ladies.  You guys were a fantastic help while I went through a really rough pregnancy last year and I still come on to see if I can help others.
Happy NEw Year and sticky baby dust to all!!!
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Avatar_n_tn
You should check with your doctor because your endometriosis could have LOTS to do with it. My cousin had it really bad and was in the same boat as you she had a rough pregnancy (2x) in fact she wasn't suppose to be able to get preggers because of it. Anywho, I felt so bad for her husband because she didn't want to have sex during or after the pregnancies because she said it was painful. Well, the last baby is 4 now and she's been on all types of meds and has scraping done and so on and so forth. She's 31 and just had a everything removed(and of course she's better now). My point is talk to your doctor before it gets too bad. Its nothing to be embarrassed about it happens. Good luck!
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Thanks.... I've been through a few scrapings myself and wasn't supposed to be able to carry and I did wind up being on bedrest for most of the pregnancy.
I can't wait to get to the dr.
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Avatar_n_tn
Were any of your stitches from the episiotomy internal?  They were able to do most of my stitches on the inside so maybe there is some irritation from that?  Definitely have your doctor check it out though.  Good luck!
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Avatar_f_tn
1st, you should press the issue with your Dr. It could be endo problems. I do not have endo, but it took a LONG time for it not to hurt after I had my daughter. I had a small internal tear by my urethra, and although it looked healed, it did not feel like it. Also, I think my cervix was sore or something. It hurt REALLY bad if he went deep.
2nd, maybe your hubby will be happy if you get him a toy and play with him. He can get what he wants without going in. Oral is not a bad idea either. If it hurts to go in, just find other ways to make both of you feel good.
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Avatar_n_tn
Although I had a c-section with my DD about after 3 months I also started to have alot of pain during sex. It hurt so bad I was scared to even try which I know only made me more tense and the pain even greater.
My poor hubby has tried to be understanding but it is hard.
I went to my doc. and I did some therapy to try to streach those muscles but it only worked for a short while.
Not usre the reason??? It has gone on for a long time now, some times better then others..kind of hit or miss. It seems that if we go slow so my mind does not get all wokred up I can relax more and it is better.
My doc told me I could always try taking some advil to relax the muscles or a few drinks never hurt.lol...but not at the same time :)
Good luck :)
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Avatar_f_tn
I waited 6 months after my son to even try and have sex.  I know it seems cruel, but I tore all the way through my rectum with my son.  Even after a year I had pain.  It takes time, even though you are healed there could be some nerve damage or your scar tissue could be tender still.  Also, if you are nursing could be the hormones, try using a lubircant and go slow.  Even nnow I have some issues and my little guy is 3, but I was told that it takes a good year for the pain to go away or at least get to the point where you are done getting better.  Hope you feel better soon, I'm sure your husband will be okay, he wouldn't enjoy it anyway if you are writhing in pain or saying ow the whole time.  I think it's pretty normal.  Congrats on the baby!
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Avatar_n_tn
I think you need to speak to your doctor, and be more than explicit with him/her.  after my daughter I was basically having sex within 3 weeks, carefully, but still having it.  Most people say 6 weeks as the majic number though.  I had a few stiches, but not a lot.  I did do those kegal excercises every moment i remembered and I did them after birth as well.  So talk to your dr.
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