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So Depressed!
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So Depressed!

I had a miscarriage at the begining of June and still cry myself to sleep every night.  All I do is cry over it, I can't stop...  All I ever think about it our baby and how I would kill to get it back.  I just hurt so bad and wish the pain would go away.  I know that I need to be on antidepresents and I see my doctor tomorrow but I know there isn't anything that I can do about that because I will be having a procedure done to my leg and they asked if I was on antidepresents because I guess they can have really bad affects on you while on the steroid that they use.  I really don't know what to do but I can't handle this pain much longer.  Anyone who is pregnant or has a tiny baby that I see, I just break down and cry and get so angry...  It makes me so mad to hear about people getting abortions or putting their baby up for adoption or simply not taking care of their baby or themselves while pregnant.  I would give my whole world to get my baby back and I just don't understand how god can give those people babies and not let me keep mine when it was my world before I even was 100% sure I was pregnant.  No one in my family besides my boyfriend understands how I feel or what I'm going through.  My mom thinks that just because I am so young that it should hurt me, that it's just no big deal... but it's the biggest deal EVER... and I can't handle this pain anymore...
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127529_tn?1331844380
I have miscarried 2 babies, I will never forget them. It is okay for you to cry and feel angry. I cannot tell you how to deal with your grief, we all do it in different ways. You need to talk to your doctor about how you feel. Even if he can't give you meds right now he may be able to refer you to a grief councilor who can help you with your feelings. Take care of yourself.
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Avatar_n_tn
I am sorry u r going thru this. I dont really know what to say except the pain does fade with time. Take the time to cry and grieve and be angry, its all a part of the healing process. One day u will have and hold the most beautiful baby. I read this book called Baby Catcher, its written by a midwife. She had a miscarriage and was so broken up, and her ten year old son told her a story called "Spirit Baby". He said that every woman has 4 or 5 babies circling them in spirit throughout life, and when she becomes pregnant and miscarries, the other babies let the Spirit Baby first in line so when she becomes pregnant again its the same baby that she "lost". I thought that was a cool story, and its so how I feel about my DD. I feel like its the same soul that was with me before, she just knew it wasnt the right time. Much Love and Light to u, and a truckload of baby dust =)
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164914_tn?1269577507
I had a miscarriage last year and it was the hardest thing I have ever went through. I was so angry and I couldn't look at pregnant women or babies without crying so I know excatly how you feel. I thought well maybe God doesnt want me to be a mom, maybe it's not meant to be, I was so depressed and fustrated. I really wasn't myself at all. I feel for you so badly because I do remember feeling like that just like it was yesterday. The good news is that you are young, and it will happen for you again, I know you are probably thinking maybe it wont ever happen again but you have to have faith and keep your hope up.I am 37w3days pregnant right now, I'm due on august 11th with a boy....So it CAN happen. If it can happen to me it can happen for you. Please know that, no matter what your situation, no matter what anyone says, no matter how depressed you feel right now, it is possible to become pregnant again. I agree with you this is a VERY big deal, so try to surround yourself with people who understand like your boyfriend, and anyone else who will listen. If I can help just let me know=) keep your head up and know that you are not alone.
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175662_tn?1282217256
I've had 4 losses over the years, and luckily I'm 35w 2d pregnant with this baby.  Any loss, no matter when or how old or anything like that, is hard.  There is a period of grief, and there are stages of that.  It sounds like you really need to seek out a mental health professional so that you can go through those stages of grief.  

Hang in there, you are young still and have many years ahead of you to get your life in order and be prepared for a baby in more ways than just physically.  
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222234_tn?1216343635
hey honey, i am sorry you are going through this, it is hard, i know, i know so much how hard is it. i did not miscary, i had a very healthy pregnancy until 36 weeks, 5/7/2007 when her small sweet heart stopped beating because of a knob in her ambilical cord., shewas a normal complete baby, 7 lb and 19 inches, i saw her, carried her, she stood with me for hours, it was hard.........very hard to cary your baby that you waited 9 months as a dead body i am not telling you that my situation is harder, loosing a child is hard whenever it happened, miscariage is hard, still birth is harder, SIDS is much harder, and loosing a your child wshen he is younger is so much harder. it is ok to cry, to feel angry, jealous for other people who are prego or have babies, but you have to know, that God have the better, our children are in heaven with GOD, they are in a better place. you will have a lot of children in the future, she will be watching over you and happy when you aare happy. you are always welcome to vent here, i will listen. i am sorry again, this baby will live with you for ever.
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Avatar_f_tn
I feel so bad for you.  It's a terrible feeling to lose a pregnancy and it's so hard to be around pregnant women and babies.  I was crushed when I m/c last June.  I avoided pregnant women, including my sis for awhile.  It's good to cry and talk about it though, you need to grieve and take time to feel sad before you can try to move on.  This site is great because so many women here have been through this and understand what you are going through.  Take your time and don't apologize for the way you feel.  Even my mom didn't quite understand why I was so upset, but my family pretty much avoided me and my in laws pretty much asked inappropriate questions.  You will get through this and get past the anger in time, but will never forget your baby, keep your little one in your heart.  Maybe you will be blessed with another little angel when the time is right.  Feel better.
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174515_tn?1191710869
i am so glad to hear you sounding like this. it sounds like you are finally reaching a state of peace. good for you :)

to the original poster, i am very , very sorry for your loss. i lost my baby at 12 weeks in December and spent the next month basically self destructing. i hated myself and everyone and thing around me. just know that we are hear for you to lean on and it will not be as painful, it doesn't go away, but you'll reach peace with this.
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Avatar_f_tn
i had a miscarriage and yes I was depressed, but I was only like 6 to 8 weeks.... But they say some thing good comes out of some thing negative.... curtain things happy for a reson so just keep you head up and try not to think about it, it will get better :) hope this helps
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223438_tn?1189759426
I understand your sadness, and I also understand how frustrating it is when people around you who are supposed to be your loved ones just don't get it. They think it wasn't a big deal and you shuold just move on with your life. They say things that are well meaning, but are really just insensitive. I had my 10 year high school reunion this past weekend (3 weeks after my m/c at 7w) and I can't tell you how hard it was. Everyone had kids, over half had at least 2. They all asked me if I had kids and the ones I actually opened up to to tell that I had just lost one gave me this blank stare because it had never happened to them. They just didn't get it and that made me want to dislike them even more. I think it does get better though, over time. My husband and I have started ttc again and I hope it won't be long again until we are pregnant. Just know you aren't alone. This forum is great because you can actually connect with women who have similar experiences and truly understand.
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