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Spoiled or something else

by onlyme27, Aug 11, 2008 04:08AM
Between working at night and keeping the baby all day, I am getting run down I think.  My 12 week old is a wonderful baby but I feel like I need a break sometimes.  I try to get my mother to watch her sometimes but it never works otu b/c Steeley cries the whoel time my mother has her.  Mother says she is spoiled and gets on to me for holding her so much.  I don't think the I do but I do spend a lot of time with her.  Mommy or daddy is with her 24/7 and the first signs of us leaving causes her to cry.  She doesn't give my sister a problem just my Mom.  I don't know why she doesn't seem to like my mom.  All the other grandkids do. It hurts my mom's feelings and now she won't even offer to keep her.  I need a break.  Any suggestions?
Member Comments (4)

by tiredbuthappy, Aug 11, 2008 09:48AM
what if your mom started the visit by taking her for a walk in the stroller? that's always a good way to transition because the baby doesn't actually see you leave.

by mami1323, Aug 11, 2008 09:52AM
I hate to sound harsh but your mom is being overly sensitive.  My son used to cry right in his cousin's face all the time.  You know what, she would laugh it off and now he reaches up for her to hold him.  My son always just wanted me or my fiance, now he's much friendlier but it's completely normal.  Some babies are just attached to their parents and frankly there is nothing wrong with that.  What I would do is give her about an hour before you leave.  Meaning, when she comes over stay there with her and the baby for a good amount of time until she seems more comfortable with your mom and then sneak off.  Don't just throw the baby into her arms and bolt, make it a slow transition.

by MsQuickFix, Aug 11, 2008 09:54AM
Sorry about your dilemma, I wouldnt know what to do with my 8 month old if it werent for grandparents!! I'm not a professional or anything, just a mother and a nursing school student but from my own experience I can tell you that babies can pick up on the emotions others are feeling.  So maybe your mom is so tense or focused on the fact that Steeley cried the whole time once so now she thinks that gonna happen everytime and is apprehensive about it and the Steeley can pick up on that.  As far as crying everytime you or your husband leaves maybe she just feels comforted by you guys more than anyone, as she should bc your her mommy and daddy. Like you said she does fine with your sister just has a problem with your mom.  And as far as spoiling, I dont think there is anything you can do to spoil a baby that young, you want to do everything in the world you can for them including being with them as much as possible.   Coming from a mother that has lost 2 twin girls, let me tell you enjoy all the time you have with her!  ALso I know where your coming from with the "needing a break" talk. Just dont take it too far. A night off here and there is okay but I felt like that back in May. I am always with my son all day long taking care of him while my husband works to support our family and so i started going out a lot.  Its just a bad track to get on and I'm not even really a drinker but it starts out small enough just wanting to get outta the house and get a break and before you know it your a "usual" and the bartender knows your name and your drink..almost cost me my marriage.
Enjoy all the time u have with her and talk to your mom explain shes just a baby and she doesnt mean to hurt your feelings by crying but also tell her that Steeley can sense how she is feeling and that may be why she cries too!
good luck with everything

by onlyme27, Aug 11, 2008 10:40PM
Thanks girls!  I just wish that my mother would relax a little bit.  She isn't like this with the other grandkids.  I guess that Steeley is not going to be all about grandma like the other kids.  I try not to sound irratated with mother about it but I do get that way.  She will tell me to pack her things up and bring her over then when she starts getting fussy she changes her mind.  I think that I am just going to quit offering even though I would like a break.   Maybe I will get one when the baby  turns 30 yrs!!
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