Sterilization Poll (OT) Opinions please

[amberd5191]

I am 24 years old my husband and I have 4 children and 1 on the way. We have discussed options of sterilization. I am currently the only one employed. Don't get me wrong I love my kids! I wonder what you would do in this situation. I worry that if I get my tubes tied it may effect me in some negative way.

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11%

 (3) 

Don't Do It!

59%

 (16) 

Vasectomy

22%

 (6) 

Tubal Litigation

7%

 (2) 

Other (please detail)

27 Members voted

[Darkestlight]

To tell u the truth, I'm getting my tubes tied when i have my next c section in June. I kinda wonder what if i change my mind in the future, but i look at my current situation and my health status and it is honestly the best thing for us, even if i want kids later. I've decided I'll just adopt a child.

[AnnieBrooke]

A vasectomy is the simplest form of sterilization for a couple.  I would suggest that.

[hkenny]

My stepfather had a vasectomy before he married my mom, my mom had a tubal after my little brother was born. Yes she is in the hospital for a day and my stepfather wasnt, but the fact that he had a vasectomy early in life is now causing hormonal issues now. many doctors dont believe in this but my stepfathers holistic doctor gave his some pills for it and he feels way better, my mom has read up on it and there is some known causes of issues in men who get this done, it doesnt appear until later in life. he felt tired and sluggish all the time, the doc asked him if he had had a vasectomy and yep he did.

[AnnieBrooke]

hkenny, that holistic stuff is interesting, except that all men later in life lose testosterone levels anyway, whether or not they have had a vasectomy, and that can certainly make them feel tired and sluggish.  (This is where the classic archetype of the "grumpy old man" comes from.)  My dad had a vasectomy after his fifth child, and he never has felt tired and sluggish, and he is 79.  I think holistic doctors are fine, but their science is sometimes less than rigorous.  If I were a man, I wouldn't shy away from a vasectomy for that reason.

The reason I suggested a vasectomy is twofold.  It is a very, very simple operation (done with local anasthetic in the doctor's office), and for a faithful couple it is 100% effective.  Having tubal ligation is not a doctor's-office procedure, and it is not always 100% effective and when it is not, there is often an ectopic pregnancy.  And the other reason is that a reversal of a tubal ligation is not easy or guaranteed.  I wouldn't think of this latter reason as so important for a happy couple, except that we sure get a ton of women writing on this forum who got tubal ligations and then later got a new husband and wanted another baby.  

24 is pretty young for sterilization.  Anything can happen in life.  Frankly, if I were the original poster, I would be looking into near-foolproof ways of doing birth control rather than a tubal ligation.  I.e., an IUD.

[pertykitty]

you are busy with soon to be 5 kids but you are so young.  i am 37 and my restart of a family has been the greatest joy.  think about it

[amberd5191]

I had an IUD had terrible complications with it. (Bled for 8 months, cysts, and terrible cramps). I thought that was the answer to my prayers when I first got it.

I think I am leaning toward the vasectomy. But we will put great thought into it before anything perm.

Thanks ladies.

[Quinns momma]

When we are able to add baby #2 to our family DH is getting a vasectomy. It is a simple procedure for him and quicker recovery. :)

[AndiJ78]

Go for the V.

[babypooh]

I vote for the vasectomy. Let them suffer for once, he he. Just kidding :)

[iwasdumb320]

i did have my tubes tied for the same reasons everyone said i would regret it i said no way i don't want any more kids!!! i now wish i would of done what my sister did that was get an i.u.d because if i ever did change my mind i could still try and have a baby

[BabyHardiman]

Are all the kids your bio kids?

[Zet1]

I will say vasectomy - and my husband was all for it - but some how it always gets left for later and now we are expecting our 3rd baby in about 4 weeks - welcome surprise as i already have a autoimmune disorder and not really suppose to fall pregnant - also have GD now and on Insulin with this one.  I decided to take matters into my own hands and requested a tubal with my upcoming C-section - but guess what - i'm going to a public hospital and Dr told me they will not do it because its a Catholic hospital - where is my patient right's - for medical reasons i will put myself and another baby in a lot of complications as if this current one is not enough.  Hubby still wants to go for Vasectomy - but will only believe it if i see it.

[amberd5191]

Yes they are. I had my daughter very young (16).

[Mumita]

If you are sure that you want to stop at 5 then go ahead and have a tubal.  I had an IUD for two years and I loved it, specially since I felt like I was the one in control of my fertility.  I took it out and now I'm pregnant :) I don't know which IUD you had, I had the copper IUD and I didn't have any side effects.  I would go for that in the future again since I will not be sure whether I want to get a tubal and I won't force my husband to get a Vasectomy.  Also if one of us is getting cut, then we both are.

My dad had a vasectomy and two years later my stepmom got pregnant with my little brother. So no, its not 100% effective.

[BabyHardiman]

I would never ask my husband to go through that.  

[amberd5191]

I am not forcing my husband into getting a vasectomy it is something we have discussed.

He has stated he is perfectly happy with the number of children we have, and would get a vasectomy.

I am just pondering both options. Making sure I have time for everyone of my children and can afford things they will like to do.

Can I ask what the difference is in going through 9 months of vomiting, weight gain and then hours and hours of difficult labor with 5 children? I don't think getting a vasectomy will compare...I have asked a few different Men who have had it done.

[GRose]

I say if he is willing to do it have him get the vasectomy, it is such an easier procedure. I am also trying to figure out what I am going to do after I have baby #2. I am not a fan of how the hormones in bc make me feel but I am afraid of an IUD, I am waaaay too fertile to just use natural family planning (I can get pregnant just by looking at a penis lol) so I also need to figure this out. If I were in your shoes, 24 with 5 kids I think I would be doing something permanent but since I don't know for sure what I want I wouldn't do anything permanent.

[BabyHardiman]

Because of this sentence that your wrote..."I worry that if I get my tubes tied it may effect me in some negative way." .. and do you not think it "may" have a negative effect on the man.

I would never ask a man to go under the knife for that procedure.  Personally I would be worried that my goods would be damaged.  If I didn't want to worry about the risks of conceiving, then I, myself, would take the extra precautions.  I do not believe in vasectomies AT ALL.  I personally would never have a tubal either.  Why mess with what God gave you?  Why disable a function of your body.  That is my thoughts on the matter.  You asked and I told.  :)

[amberd5191]

My only negative is worry that I may be out longer than expected being the only one employed.

I do appreciate your feedback.

[AnnieBrooke]

"I would never ask my husband to go through that," what do you mean?  It is not a castration.  A man who has a vasectomy still has operational testicles, semen, erections, everything.  The only thing affected is the two tubes that put the sperm into the semen.  It's a simple procedure, and can be reversed more easily than a tubal ligation if the person changes his mind later.  You have probably asked your husband to do things that are a lot more difficult than that.  (Getting a crown on your tooth is more painful, according to my brother-in-law.  Would you "never ask your husband to go through that" if doing so was a good idea?)   I'm not trying to change your mind, but from what you wrote, it sounded like you thought a vasectomy removes a guy's "equipment."

[BabyHardiman]

I know what happens during the procedures.  My ex husband had it done.  He had a hell of a recovery.  I wasn't with him at the time of the procedure, but he showed me pictures of what happened to his genitalia, they were swollen to the size of a grapefruit.  It was a painful recovery for HIM.  I had a friend whose dad had it done and something similar happened to him, he called him self "major one nutt", because he was in the army when he had it done.  He said his package was swollen so large that it looked like he had one giant ball between his legs.

No, no one will change my mind on asking my man to have a vasectomy.  Period.  My ex husband's semen was clear, and he had very little, and it often took him FOREVER to reach his climax.  Though he was 25 years older than me, but he said himself that before the operation he had no problem in that area.

Besides all the above, like I said before, if I want to prevent pregnancy, then I will take all the extra precautions to do so.. I would not "fix" myself, or my husband... and that was one of the choices she had in her poll, actually it was the first choice.  "Don't Do It".

That's my feelings.



  

[Michele, Katy, TX]

I think the main thing is to be sure that you are done.  Sterilization just seems so permanent to me.  I am now pregnant w/ #6 and pretty much feel like I am done after this, but I don't want to have that choice taken from me.  I know that some of the sterilizations can be reversed, or at least attempted, but there are no guarantees that will work.  And it is very expensive.

I don't think it is your responsibility more than his or vice versa.  I think that is a personal choice for the 2 of you to make.  I wish they had a b/c pill for men :)  I mean, we do have to do everything else as far as childbearing is concerned.  But they don't....Or at least not here, to my knowledge, so it is just a decision that you two will have to make together.  Whatever you do......make sure you are 100% sure.

[jenstam]

Since when are you pregnant with #6? How did I miss that!? (: How far along are you? Congrats! Baby #6 is being talked about for us. We are still back and forth on the issue-not sure if it is right for us yet.