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Surviving without family and friends
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Surviving without family and friends

Ok, so I know that some of you live pretty far from your family and friends.  Well, hubby is looking for a new job meaning we are going to have to move.  Not fun, I just wonder how you do it without family and friends close.  I mean I am willing to meet people but it's going to be so hard we have gotten comfortable where we are now, and with a 5 week old it's going to be a challenge.  Some words of advice anyone.  Thanks
Tags: family, friends, maternal, Baby
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Avatar_n_tn
My first husband was in the military, so we moved with an infant, and I just tried to get involved with other mothers, we always lived on the base so it was easy, but I know there are mommy and me groups, and even walks to the park will help you meet others. I Never had family around, so I wouldnt know what to do with that.
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151154_tn?1208134182
I live down here in Florida without any of my family too.  Its really hard especaily getting ready to have my first child.  My mom came a couple weeks ago and she's still upset she had to go back.  I don't have any real advice for you.  I just take it day by day.  I'm lucky to have a great mother in law and we spend alot of our time at her house.  Maybe when you move if you arent going to work then join some kind of group to meet people.  Its really hard especially down here cause you meet people and then they leave all the time.  Good luck and if all else fails, you always have us for support!
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm going to be in the same boat as you soon enough. When dh is finished with school we are planning on moving to the other side of the state. I have lived near my family my whole life. They ALL live here, my parents,both sets of grandparents, sisters, brother-in-law and his family, uncles, aunts, and most of my cousins.. I'm also worried about leaving them. I also feel bad about moving the kids away from them.  We all are pretty close. I'm assuming that the phone bill will be pretty high, and I'm sure we will be driving back and forth a lot. But it still won't be the same......
I guess I'm going to have to get out there and find an subsitute family. My kids are really good at making friends, so I will probably make friends with all the other mothers and familys at church.
How far are you moving from your family? Maybe you could visit a lot?
I'm sure things will work out great! (for both of us!)
One thing that sucks is I won't have access to free babysitters! LOL
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179055_tn?1189759429
Well I live out in CA and everyone I know lives back East in Mass.....It is just me, hubby and dd...and one on the way.

I have gotten used to it just being us pretty much.  My husband is my best friend.  I have two girlfriends from back east that keep in touch via phone and we see each other maybe every few years if that.  But we had developed a strong friendship since high school so even if I don't see them, we call each other and it's always like being there.

But I guess a good way is to try a Mom's group online in your area....you may find a good friend out of it....otherwise some playmates for your child....I have tried that and found a friend for a while, but she wasn't really dependable on actually keeping it up, so I just recently told her it wasn't working out really.

So needless to say, I work all day and don't have time for people anyhow....I get bummed sometimes that I don't have a g/f to have a cup of coffee with and just talk....but what can you do?

I would just suggest a Mom's group or maybe join an infant/Parent group like gymnastics or something or exercise class that involves you and your baby and you will meet other Mom's just like you with a little one...you may click with just the right Mom and find a great friend, you never know!

But Me, I'm just hopeless!!!

I do keep in touch with only a couple people (IF THAT) back home (Boston).....and once in a blue moon they travel out this way and stay with me, but that's very far between....so I don't even bother anymore.

Good luck....but after time, you will adjust.

JT
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13167_tn?1327197724
I think this is the time in your life where it will be easier to make friends than it ever has been before - and very close,  special friends.

Most women with a new baby ARE looking for new good friends - the old friends they had are still special,  but life changes drastically with a baby,  and you want women friends who also have them.  You're both in the same boat.

The women who were in my preschool playgroups with my kids are still my favorite friends,  and even though we don't get together that often anymore,  it's special when we do.

I think you'll do just fine.  ;D
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134578_tn?1404951303
You might find it pretty easy to make new friends because of the baby.  I met a new mom in my neighborhood because I saw balloons when she had her baby.  That's a pretty daring thing to do after that crazy woman kidnapped a baby because she saw the "it's a boy" sign, so I was worried my neighbor (who I hadn't met yet) would think I was crazy, but I packed up my little boy (he's 4 months old, so acts as a calling card) and dropped by with a package of Oreos in one hand and the baby on my arm.  I kept it short and gave her my phone number and pointed out which house was mine.  I think babies are a shortcut for making friends.  All women who have them know what they mean in terms of what things the other women are doing at 3 am etc. etc.  So you have something to talk about instantly.  
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127529_tn?1331844380
We moved from the UK to Canada when my son was 18 months old, it was the hardest thing ever. We live in a beautiful place here and I have made one or two friends.  My eldest has special neeeds which makes it harder still to get involved with local groups for me, it's a nice place but if someone told me I could go back to my family and friends back in the UK I would be off like a shot, hubby just doesn't understand, his job is important too him, if I saw more of him maybe I would feel different.....
I don't know what your situation is, you can and will make new friends but you will always miss the old ones!
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Avatar_f_tn
aww wooly!! its going to be alright... i have no family where i am either.... and not too many people i call friends.... I have two good ones.. and thats it.. and they have their lives.. and so we rarely see each other .... it is hard.. but i am sure that you will be ok ... making friends is hard sometimes.. especially when you are the new guy... but.. from what i have read about you .. and from the things that you have said here.. i know that anyone would be lucky to have a friend like you.
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Avatar_n_tn
Hi there , i moved from Glasgow , Scotland to Ontario , Canada 2 years ago after meeting my fiance here while on holiday . I have settled in well and have made  few friends , and have got close to his buisness partners wife , but NO-ONE has come close to my friends back home . You know , the connection thing you have with your best buddies ??  I am almost 22 wks pg , and i have to say  this is when i miss all my friends , cousins , and siblings the most . I am extremely happy here and do believe with  all my heart that i made the right choice without any doubts , and the place i live is very beautiful . However . i, like other posters have said , am hoping to meet more people once baby is here , through classes , clubs etc etc . But , i do know who my freinds are and that will never change , we still keep in touch regularly and they come out for hols which is nice . My mum and sis are coming in june so am looking forward to that !! But , if you feel you have made the right choice in a move and are happy overall , making new friends should be easy and it will happen . Good luck and be happy !!!
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Avatar_n_tn
You'll be surprised on how quickly and easy it is to meet new friends. I have lived in Panama, Germany, and Texas when ex hubby was in military and it took no time at all to be socializing with others. I would say that your husbands coworkers knowing that hes not familar with the area will invite you to a few social gatherings so you'll have a chance to meet and greet. And remember your friends and family are only a phone call away. Have no worries.
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152590_tn?1208149744
Thanks Ladies, you cheered me up.  Sorry I didn't post sooner dh's job took us up north a few hours for the night.  but anyways, we drove through on of the areas that might be moving too, it seemed pretty simple.  But I guess we'll be closer to the capital of our state (we are in Indiana) anyways we currently live in the southern part and my family is from the northern part and my mom lives on the eastern part and my brother on the west side.  So I guess we'll be kinda in the middle.  But it's so hard because they will be anywhere from a hour and a half to three to four hours drive to any of them.  But I guess the road goes both ways and they can come visit us also.  Right now we live by his family but I think that we are ready for a change, and they don't exactly appreciate some of the things he does for them, so maybe this will open their eyes let them see just what he does for them and how much they will miss him and their granddaughter.  They baby there daughter to much and maybe this will help them see just what he truly means to them.  But if they just act the same then I guess that just goes to show that they don't care as much about him as they do her.  I don't exactly get along with my parents 100% of the time so that I don't mind not living so close, it was just nice to have our dd around family and to go to family gatherings and just get out of the house sometimes and go visit.  But we'll find something to do, we spend alot of time together right now, so I know we can do it then.  It's just the unknown factor I guess that sucks but I am trying to just come to terms with things and it's hard, but each day I become more open-minded.  Well, I guess God has a path for us, and it may be bumpy, but we'll just have to use the shocks for awhile and just keep on cruising and hopefully when we get to the end of the road there will be a beautiful horizon waiting for us.  I guess it will make trips to family even more special then now as they have gotten a little repetitive.  Good luck to those in the same boat, I feel your anxiety and stress.
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