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TTC right after a miscarriage - JoyBme and kandm, are y'all out th...
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TTC right after a miscarriage - JoyBme and kandm, are y'all out there?

I posted under a different thread and got some great responses - 2 of which i'd really like to respond to, but the other thread is closed. JoyBme and kandm, are y'all out there??

For everybody else, here's my quick re-cap: Started TTC in November, but with no luck. Kept trying and got great news on 12/30 (which also happened to be my birthday - who could've asked for a better present.) Saw light bleeding on 1/12 and went to the Dr. on 1/13, but didn't think anything of it. Just went as a formality. Had an ultrasound and the tech didn't see anything - including a sac. Cried my eyes out all day and woke up to answered prayers for strength and comfort the next day. Have been doing pretty well, but i still breakdown at random. Am a little impatient and don't want to wait for my first cycle if i don't have to and it seems like it's a suggestion, but not a mandatory. My HCG count has dropped appropriately and my body took care of things on its own. Trying to use an OPK, but can't seem to be diligent, in the mean time we're continuing to "try." Please pray that everything works out for us and that very soon we'll have a safe and healthy pregnancy underway.

Also have a sister-in-law due in May and a close friend due in June, anybody have tips on still being very happy/involved, but not having it hurt so much???
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Avatar_n_tn
Sorry to hear about your loss, I too m/c in Sept then found out on Dec 19 we were once again pregnant... However m/c that one too on Dec 29. My doc says you should wait, but they do it for emotional and getting hormone levels back down. I have known plenty of women to get pregnant right after m/c and go on to have healthy babies. You do what is best for you and your family. I too am still ttc, wait yeah right... I dont want to m/c again but it is a chance I will take. Maybe the third time for me will be a charm. I wish you luck.. Blowing baby dust all over you....
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Avatar_n_tn
Hey there!!! Well I understand where you are coming from all to well. I am in the same boat as you -- wanting to start trying as soon as possible. My problem is i think my levels arent back to normal and the waiting game is driving me nuts. my dr told me that if i happen to get preg while waiting for my period it should be fine. So i guess i am taking that and going to go ahead. I will be using a OPK whenever my spotting stops to hopefully catch when i do ovualate. I am praying for good luck to you!!!  keep me posted!

i too have a sister-in-law who just found out she was preg. we would have been about 4 weeks apart. so i know how you are feeling right now. i was going to be first and now i'm not. on top of that we dont really get a long but we have been trying. but it was hard for me to talk about anything with her for awhile. i am still sad when i think about her and that fact the she gets to be preg and i dont. sometimes i am ok with it and then other times i think it isnt fair. i think it is hard to be excited sometimes -- but hopefully they are supportive of what we have had to deal with and maybe it might make it easier!! Yeah i know - easier said than done!:) i think it is amazing how similar our situations are!!!  i am hear if you need to talk/vent!!!
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117004_tn?1218648744
did you get to name/hold/spend time with your son?? again, i am so sorry.  Luckily if you do have the clotting disorder they can make sure that doesnt happen anymore with the baby asprin treatment.  I have to have a HSG too.  IC can be helped too so there is lots of hope for you!!  I hear people with a heart shaped uterus (like they suspect i do) can have corrective surgery.  That kind of makes me nervous but i guess i will have to hear the dr's opinion before i make any drastic decisions.
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118074_tn?1228332603
Sorry for your situation.  I had a D&C on 1/3 and DH and I have been TTC gain or not to prevent it.  I am suppose to wait until the 1st cycle is over but my doc really didn't make a big deal out of that since I was only 5wk6days pregnant.  I think you should follow yuor heart and you and your body knows what is best for you.  Be positive and that's how I get through every day.
I too have a friend who is pregnant now and we were only a little over a month apart.  It's hard to deal with our friendship but I am spending time with her with my other friends so that way I can be there for her but still have someone else there to ease my nervouness.  I don't plan on spending time with her alone until I am ready to.
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Avatar_n_tn
I lost my son when i was 5 months pregnant. my cousin was pregnant at the same time and ended up having her little girl 6 days after i lost my son. (she went to full term though) i still can't bring myself to talk to her and it's been 11.5 weeks for me. and i take a train to work, and one of the conductors is pregnant and talking happily about it. makes me want to cry. i'm still figuring out a way to deal. and to top it all off, my doctor said that my dh and i could start ttc again, but the specialist i saw wants me to wait to have more tests done. i'm only 25, so i may be young, but my dh and i are anxious to start a family. i guess i really have no answers to help you deal with other pregnant people. i'm still trying to deal with that on my own. i'm trying to be positive and say that my little boy was needed as an angel. but i also feel, which may sound selfish, that i will not be able to be 100% happy for pregnant women, until i can have a child of my own. i'm happy that they are pregnant, especially the women who have a hard time conceiving/keeping a baby. they deserve it the most. but there is always that little percentage of jealousy. i know this doesn't help much, but i wanted to let you know that it's normal to feel as you do around pregnant women. i'm sorry that i don't have any advice to help you. i'm not so sure that there is any to give. at least none that i know of.
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Avatar_n_tn
I MC on August 11, then again on Nov. 25. My HCG went down quickly, and I felt like the only thing that would make me feel better was to get pregnant again as soon as possible.

I took cough syrup to help with my CM, and started trying again as soon as the bleeding stopped.

I ovulated and concieved. 17 days after my last MC started. I'm 10 weeks now, and my doctor is saying that this baby looks perfect.

Yes, It was stressful getting pregnant again quickly, but it would have been more stressful for me to wait.
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Avatar_n_tn
Congrats to you! and my you have a healthy and happy 30 more weeks!
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117004_tn?1218648744
I too had a m/c d&c on 1/5.  It is so hard and i am so anxious to be pg again.  Anxious2bamom, i am so so sorry for the loss of your little boy.  Did they tell you what may have happened??  I too am 25 (will be 26 in april) and feel like i am too young for this but my mother had 2 kids when she was my age.. .so if she could do it. so can I.  I just have to make sure my body is back to normal.  I feel AF coming but it just WONT.. haha.  I also have to have tests done to see if my uterus is malformed.  I have my D&C follow up appt this friday.  HOpefully i will get more info on the tests i need then.  I probably have to go to an infertility specialist and i dont know how easy it will be to get an appt there.  In the mean time, i am taking my vitamins and planning to persue this whole misshaped uterus thing.  hopefully it has nothing to due with why i miscarred.  But who knows.. the odds are stacked against me.  Good luck to us all BABY DUST!
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Avatar_n_tn
well, they have several opinions. the first one was an incompetent cervix. the next is that i have a blood clotting disorder (that i didn't know i had until i had some testing done after i lost my son) which may have caused the placental abruption that i had which put me into preterm labor. my baby was alive, but wouldn't have made it long with the lack of oxygen, but if he did make it, he would have been handicapped. they want to do a HSG to check to see if i have any lesions in my uterus. i'm hoping all is clear so my dh and i can start ttc soon after the test. the only thing is i have to wait till a certain point in my cycle to get the test done. i hope they have an opening for me during my next cycle. the waiting is the hardest part. but this site and my support group helps a lot. good luck to you! good things will come for us all!
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Avatar_n_tn
Hello, I know exactly how you feel. My sister in law was 3 weeks behind me when I just MC for the 4th time on 12/28.  She is now 11 weeks and I'm very happy for her but I'm so sad at the same time. I can't really call it jealousy though, just broken hearted.  My heart hurts everytime I think about it. I shouldn't be this way I know, but I am having faith because she has had 3 MC as well with no explanation as myself.  If she can carry then maybe there's hope for all of us out there that have had mult. MC. Take care and I'm praying for all of you TTC's.
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Avatar_n_tn
i did get to hold him. we named him Dylan. we also got a picture of him and his footprints and the hat he was wearing and the blanket they wrapped him in. they also made a medical bracelet for him. so we have a keepsake box to always remember him. he had really big feet for a baby only 12.6 oz. and he was beautiful. looked just like my dh. i heard the HSG wasn't so bad. and everyone i talked to who has had one says that it's easier to conceive after that. so i guess that's one positive about this. as long as everything looks good that is. and that you can get your results right away and not have to wait weeks. that's the hardest part, the waiting.

kelbre--my aunt (who is 10 years older than myself) and i were pregnant at the same time. she was due a week after me. she lost her baby at 14 weeks though, and she was still there for me even though i didn't know how to react around her. and then when i lost Dylan, she was right by my side. maybe jealous was the wrong word to use. i definately am sad, and maybe envy the pregnant woman.

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117004_tn?1218648744
Wow, i got tears in my eyes reading your last post.  That is really sweet that you got all those memories with Dylan.  How sad that you and your Aunt lost your babies.  Well, I hope that this next one stays with you for 40 long weeks and remains healthy and whole!!
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Avatar_n_tn
thank you, and the same to you. i think we are all lucky to have this site and support. i know it's helped me get through the time between my support group meetings. may this be the year for each of us to have healthy pregnancies and healthy babies!
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117004_tn?1218648744
Amen!!
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Avatar_n_tn
I've been reading the posts, but it's taken me a while to respond. anxioustobeamom - I don't even know what to say. The only thing I can think to tell you is that I'm praying for you...for all of you.

It's not going to be easy, but I'm going to make a conscious decision to try to be as happy for my sis-in-law and my friend as i would be if the situation were different. I truly am excited about my new niece and am praying for a girl for my friend too. I hope they have wonderfully smooth pregnancies and healthy babies. And the crazy thing is that I've seen them both once since the m/c and I think it'll be easier from this point on. I think that i was afraid they'd pity me, "poor thing couldn't get pregnant right away and then she did and couldn't keep it." I don't think they'd have said that, but I couldn't see how they wouldn't have thought it. If the shoe were on the other foot and i'd conceived on the first try and was on my second child, I'd probably have felt that way. Either way, I'm focused on getting pregnant again and for the most part, have been doing pretty well - I even went to the hosiptal to visit a friend of mine that had twins and on the same day found out another friend's newly pregnant. It's not hard to be happy for them, it's just sometimes tough not to be sad for us.

on another note...ok, so the OPK was positive last night and we tried (hoping successfully ;), but my question is - from this point on are we talking quality or quantity? Should we try and jampack this 24-48 hr. period or should we wait until Saturday night to try again? just not sure which is best.

thanks, y'all!!!
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117004_tn?1218648744
Hey!
I hear that bd every other day is good but 3 days in a row during o,  

I know exactly how you feel about the whole pregnant friend/friends with babies situation.  On one hand i am so sad that i wont get to experience that as soon as i should have (baby was due 7/30) but we have to keep the faith that it will happen soon. (by december i hope)  and on the other hand i am so happy for my friends and their babies.  We will all have ours one day.. and trust me.. when we are all big and pregnant there will be a woman out there wishing they were us.  We can then write in on the forum, or share kind words of .. Dont worry, it will happen for you too!!.  There are many people who struggle to get pregnant/stay pregnant.  Like my cousin said, getting pregnant is half the battle.  All of us who have miscarried at least KNOW we can GET pregnant...  We all have to stay positive.  the days will turn to weeks, weeks to months, and then before we know it, we will all be moms!!
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Avatar_n_tn
Thanks for the response! I took your advice and now the waiting begins. Pretty crazy that we spend most of our evenings trying to keep our DHs from pawing us to death and when you're focused on making it happen, all the sudden he's "tired" - I think i'm having a guy moment right now!

So, on Thursday the OPK showed + and then again on Friday (i was out of tests, so i didn't check again on Saturday), and we tried Th, Fri and Sat. In therory I should be able to take an HPT on 2/18 or could i take one of the early tests and hopefully really have a real reason to celebrate on Valentine's day!?

Also wanted to thank you for your comments about pg friends. I never really thought about the fact that when it does happen for us it'll be hard for someone else. Not that i want anyone to hurt, but i guess it is all part of a cycle...

Baby dust to all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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