I know it has been ages since I have been on and said hello.
A friend of mine, Dara, from New York, experienced a terrible loss today. She was 37 weeks pregnant and everything appeared to be fine. She went into labor last night, but when she got to the ER, they could not find a heartbeat. Her baby died.
She labored for almost 9 hours and finally delivered little Maya this morning. Maya was 6lbs 15oz and 19 1/2 inches long. She never got to take a breath.
Dara held her most of today and finally had to give her up this evening. They do not know what caused poor Maya to pass, but they are doing an autopsy. Outwardly, she appeared perfect.
Anyhow, my forum, Jamaica, where Dara is a regular poster, is gathering donations to have meals delivered to Dara and her family over the next couple of weeks. Dara has a 2 year old son, and it seems to be all she can do to put on a happy face for him.
We need to raise $210 to buy her family meals for 8 days (for a family of 4). Any money raised above and beyond that will go to pay for Maya's memorial, cremation, and her urn. Dara wants to have Maya cremated so she can keep Maya with her always. She says "Maya needs her mother and her mother needs her."
There is a very beautiful poem posted on my forum, and a special forum set up where anyone can post a message to Dara. She probably won't be online for awhile, but we want her to know how much we were all thinking of her while she was gone.
Please feel free to visit my forum and post a message to Dara:
If you can find it in your heart to help us raise money to help Dara and her family in their time of need, paypal donations are being accepted at:
If you are uncomfortable with paypal and want to send a donation via snail mail, please email me at ***@**** and I'll give you my address.
Regardless of whether or not you are able to donate, please keep Dara and her family in your prayers. She is living most of our worst nightmare right now and I think she can use all the prayers she can get.
Please also feel free to cut and paste this post and forward it to anyone you believe could help.
I am sitting here crying and I don't even know her. My heart breaks for her and I can't even begin to imagine how extremely difficult/upsetting it is to deliver a baby that you know is not going to cry when born. To hold that baby for hours and then have to give her up....ugh..i am at a loss for words right now. I just want to crawl in my dd crib right now and hold my belly as i have a little one in there as well!
I am praying for her!
Prayers for all....
I hate to sound insensitive, but people need to beware of those posting here asking for money. There have been far too many dishonest people playing with people's emotions trying to make money. Unfortunately, that ruins it for sincere people. I have no reason to doubt the sincerity of this poster, but I'd hesitate to send money...
While Stacie (freak) and I have had our differences over the years, I can vouch for this one. If my word means anything on here after 4 years this is when I will use that to help someone else. I used to have a side group with many older members on here (Peek and Milk were there) as well as some other members brought in from other web sites similar to this one. Dara was a member on the website for a while. She has another child who was born with cleft issues who just turned two at the end of the summer, she is an avid animal lover, and deserves everyone's care and concern right now. Peek called me this afternoon while she was supposed to be sleeping before work and told me the news. I cried openly for this family and cannot imagine what they are experiencing right now. My own mother lost my baby sister at birth on Groundhog's Day in 1982 and while I was only 3 1/2, I still recall how much my heart ached for the baby sister I never got to meet and how much to this day I want to cry like a child when that day comes around. I told my husband about Dara's loss and he was also shaken as he knew Dara through the web site as well.
You don't have to send money,no one says you do, but at least send your prayers. I think it is a lovely thought to try and set something like this up. I would never send money to someone who suddenly appears asking for it, but this is an "old" member asking for help for a dear friend.
Stacie-Please send along our heartfelt sympathies and prayers to Dara, Jayden and the rest of her family. Check my profile for my email addy and I will see what we can set up to help.
Thanks Andi. I realized some people might think this was a hoax/prank and not want to donate, but thought the benefit of posting (even if just for thoughts and prayers) outweighed the "hoax" factor. I appreciate you vouching for me. Things like this happen and it makes everything that has happened in the past seem so trivial.
A couple of us have heard from Dara today and she seems to be doing "as well as can be expected." She sounds profoundly sad and very shaken, but that she can even express herself at this point is a credit to her inner strength. There is a guest forum on Jamaica if you'd like to post a message to her. Alot of Lammers have, and I'm sure she would appreciate it.
As for money, we have raised $265 (with paypal donations and people who are sending checks/money orders). That was enough (the total cost with shipping was $238 and some change) to send her 8 nights of vegetarian meals for her family. I ordered them from greenbistro.com last night and she'll get them tomorrow. The rest (along with whatever else is donated) will go directly to Dara.
shamanda, i didn't think you were being insensitive. i'd have thought the same thing if i were you. sorry to hear about your loss. i lost a baby myself a few years back and know how bad it hurts.
Maya's service is Monday. If everyone who reads this could please make an extra effort to keep Dara in their thoughts and prayers tomorrow. She says she doesn't know how she's going to manage to get through the service knowing it is the last time Maya's physical body will be.
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