My son is turning 3 this Jan. He had been a little stubborn now and then regarding his apparel. But recently he is totally refusing to wear his socks and jacket for outdoors. I've tried many ways to accomplish this task ... like showing him that everyone is wearing one and trying to give him rewards (like stickers) if he wears the jacket.
He only likes to wear is favourite pair of shoes and turns down all the other warmer boots. I tried to strategy of letting him pick the jacket he wants to wear and he does pick one .... but when I try to put it on him he screams and fights back.
This happens every morning when I am dropping my daughter to school. So most of the time I have to take him without his jacket in the car. But it is going to get very cold soon here in Canada and I cannot continue like this.
Please suggest me some ways to solve this issue with my son.
You could consider planning an outing that he will really want to be part of and tell him that if he will not wear the clothes he needs to keep warm now that it is starting to get colder that he will not be able to go. If he agrees praise him and tell him he will have to wear these things all the time when it is cold just to make sure he gets the point that it is not a one off event and that he will be expected to do it every day. If he still refuses and this is what I must stressthe impotance of follow through, then you will have to leave him at home as his punishment and you tell him when you get home that if he wants to go next time he will have to wear his winter woolies when you ask. Most kids will not argue if it is something they want to do and if you follow through on the threat most children will not do it again when they realise you are serious when you say they will not be able to go. Good Luck
may be a sensory issue- i have worked with kids like that. In fact, i had a boy last year. he only liked to wear certain pants and some days refused to wear underwear. When it got cold, he refused to wear his coat. He spent 2 days inside before realizing he had to wear it to go out with his friends. It did still aggitate him, and i felt bad because i know it was a sensory issue, but obviously, there was no option.
for these kids, it's not a question of stubbornness, but something different. The sensations truly bother them. i googled "sensory problems and coats" and it brought up so many similar stories. You may want to look it up. I suspect these problems and others may continue when he enters school. good news is, if he does have some sensory issues, they can be managed (without meds) by simple modifications and desensitizing the child. OT is usually helpful.
of course, he may just be stubborn. but since you have taken appropriate steps without progress, i suspect it's sensory.
here's one of the first articles i found- http://www.way2grow.com/pdfs/sensory_behavior.pdf
there's nothing cognitively or even emotionally wrong with these children. their challenging behaviors are a result of sensory problems.
Thank you so much for your reponse and i am looking into the sensory issue because he had shown few of the things that you have mensioned. He has got his very favourite blanket that goes with him everywhere and he like the touch of soft things only. He also does not like baths especially when i'm washing him with wash cloth. Even when i'm using my hand he does not like the feeling and wiggles and cries.
As I was reading that article i remembered that my daughter who is turning 7 this Nov. had that itchy tag issue and still loves her soft stuffed toys. I am going to look further in this sensory issue.
Hopefully it will ease my struggle with him :)
If you want to do more research, you can look into sensory processing disorders or sensory integration disorders. or "tactile defensiveness." There is A LOT of info out there, and many many different kinds, so don't get nervous when you read the stuff. It does not mean autism or anything like that, although many children with these developmental problems also have sensory issues. Sounds like your son is otherwise typical- Some kids are just hypersensitive to textures and touch. They can outgrow it, or can learn to manage it. The best thing you can do is educate yourself and see what helps. An occupational therapist (OT) can be very helpful, and if your pediatrician feels your child does have SPD your child's school district may provide services for free.
Understanding why your child behaves this way is also a tremendous help since it helps you realize he is not doing it just to drive you bonkers.
Like I said, kids like this can be de-sensitized or taught to manage it and function very well in a normal setting. However, if not addressed, he may have many problems in the future and may even be incorrectly labeled ADHD or as a behavioral problem.
this site gives a general overview- http://addadhdadvances.com/touch.html
although i am sure you can find even better sites. Good luck!
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