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The terrible twos and baby on the way. HELP!!
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The terrible twos and baby on the way. HELP!!

Alright, I am about to lose my mind. My two year old is either an angel or having a meltdown with no happy medium. We give her boundaries and stay very consistant, but my DH and I are begining to feel like we are losing control. Is it normal for her to have trouble listening and following direction, especially in public at 27 months? She is either comletely sweet and obedient, or she is punching the floor and biting furniture. The meltdowms in public make me crazy. I am thinking to myself, am I going to be able to hold it together when I have to deal with tantums and take care of a new born? Did any of you ladies feel this way or have this fear when you were pregnant with your second? I don't think my DD's behavior is horrible, but she is tempermental and having trouble listening. I just want to be able to keep my cool and stay in control. Sorry, this was kind of one big rambling post but I am venting. We just returned from an unpleasant trp at the post office and this is something that has been on my mind for the past couple of weeks. Thanks for listening:)
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177465_tn?1288242063
I think it is very normal! My niece was 23 mos. when my nephew was born and she was an all out brat! There was no nice sweet side! But when the baby came they kind of used reverse psychology and made her think that she was such a BIIIIIIIG helper and that did the trick! She was a sweet little angel from then on out!
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Avatar_f_tn
OMG, I totally know what you are dealing w/!! My dd will be 2 in 2 weeks, and almost 2 1/2 when this baby comes...There is no happy medium w/ her either. It is such a shock to me, since she really was an easy going baby, w/ no problems...She started to experience this a few month ago...It is like something comes out and takes over her little body or something!! I spent over $7 in damaged goods last time I went to my favorite gift shop, looking for a baby gift for a friend...I decided to leave before my daughter could break something more expensive that They would make me pay for! She really is a good girl, but when she is bad, LOOK OUT! I usually enlist the help of my mom when I go out now, and I try to get all my errands done at once...She is usually the worst for me, and not her her daddy. I am w/ her all day and I am exhausted being 17 weeks pregnant. I feel like I am leting more things slide than I normally would, because I am just so worn out by the end of the day. I generally set really good boundries, and if she needs to be punished, I do it! I refuse to let her run the house. I try to keep her really involved w/ my pregnancy, I let her come to all the appt. to hear the baby's hb...I just don't know how things will be when this baby is born, but I figure, this is what I signed up for...I figure it is a passing phase, some kids have the terrible two's worse than others. I think it is just the age where they are trying to assert themselves and they think the whole world revolves around them..I know how you feel. I try to deal w/ it as best as I can on an individual basis, it sure makes going out for anything difficutlt, especially trying to eat out...I am so glad there is such thing as take out!! LOL, Hang in there, I am sure there are a ton of women who are experiencing just what we are dealing w/ and who  have sucessfully dealt w/ it...I hear you!!~bops :)
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158812_tn?1189759426
Your daughter is old enough to explain things to her.  Start teaching her another way to deal w/her anger.  Talk her through calming herself down.  Tell her when she is on the floor, and crying, that you cannot understand her;  therefore, cannot help her.  

Get on her level, eye to eye, and speak calmly.  Tell her you can help her and understand her when she is calm, and ask her to take a breath.  Encourage and praise her as soon as she begins to quiet down.  Reiterate that you cannot do anything for her until she is calm.  

When she does calm down, and speak, make sure to tell her that you can understand and help her now that she is CALM.  Focus the whole situation around her being in a calm state, and telling her what you need her to do, rather than what she should not be doing.  
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Avatar_n_tn
Thanks. Your post is just what I needed:) My daughter is an angel for my husband too, and  he wonders why I am so exhausted when he gets home from work in the evening. I think he thinks that I am sitting around reading and sipping on lemonade all day, LOL. It is so hard to imagine dividing my time between two children, but I know it will come naturally. It is reassuring to know that I am not alone.
When do you get your next ultasound? Your finding out what your having, right?
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134578_tn?1404951303
Check down about a half page of posts for something about this same topic, woman whose dd is 3.  Good luck!
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Avatar_f_tn
I try to remain calm too, but Sometimes I lose it and I just let out a big AAAHHHH!! I don't really direct it to my daughter, just into the air in exhasperation! That usually gets her attention, and She is very sensitive to other ppls feelings, so she tends to calm down at that point. I also do not give into crying demands, and I try to reason w/ her as best as her age will allow. When you mentioned furniture biting (or biting in general), I thought, wow other kids do that!?!? I thought my daughter was the only one! I have never gotten so angry that I would ever think about harming my child, that never comes into my brain...I just get very annoyed and frustrated...It is so hard sometimes! I am so glad I am not alone :)

To answer your other question, I will be having an U/S in a few weeks and I can't wait to find out what I am having! So excited!
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Avatar_n_tn
I just want to add that I think her tantrums are normal and we do address them in a calm manner and don't respond to crying demands. I do become concerned when she doesn't listen. I'm not sure what I should expect from her at her age, but I still do my best never to let things slide.
More than anything I'm I struggling with keeping myself calm. Sometimes it is really difficult. Not that I would ever do anything extreme or abusive, but keeping my voice calm and not allowing emotions to overpower reasoning takes willpower sometimes. Plus I am tired and hormonal.
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134578_tn?1404951303
The post is called "Please help having baby soon and three year old out of control," by maddysmommy.  Good advice for disciplining but also really a good discussion of the fears of a child when another one is coming and how they manifest.  Maddy's mommy and she had some "Maddy and mommy time" that seemed to go a long way to make her daughter feel less displaced.  Good luck!
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Avatar_n_tn
OMG I'M GOING THROW THE SAME THING WE TELL MY TWO YEAR OLD SON ALL THE TIME TO STOP AND DON'T DO THAT AND SIT DOWN AND EVEN HAVE TO TAKE THINGS A WAY AND IT STILL NOT MAKING ANY CHANGE IN HIS BEHAVIOR AND WE ARE HAVEN OUR 2 CHILD IN MARCH AND I HAVE TRY EVERYTHING AND WHEN WE GO OUT IN PUBLIC  HE IS 30 TIMES WORSE  SO PLEASE TELL ME WHAT I CAN DO TO GET A HANDLE ON THIS SITUATION THANKS
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