You wanna know how to make people gasp in horror.......
Change your 10 month old baby's wet diaper in his stroller at the mall. When did people get so up tight? I just don't see the point of having to walk to the other end of the mall, take an escalator to the food court and find a restroom to change a wet diaper. Then you have to do the whole thing in reverse to get back to where you were in the mall.
Anybody think I did anything wrong?
1. Even in a stroller it is wrong to change a babies' wet diaper in public
2. I do it and I don't care who it offends
3. It doesn't offend me but I wouldn't do it myself
Well I didn't vote , only because no answer fits me, I have never done it...YET, but I would if the situation arose! I think that its hilareous that people were offended. I say it's better than letting him sit in it! So my Vote is Yes I would do it, and I wouldn't care who it offended!
Nah, there's nothing wrong with it! People will always cast judgement over every little thing...I wouldn't let it bother you!
Once I took Sarah shopping and she was in her stroller. I kept getting ghastly looks from people, which I was quite offended about. When I got to the car after checking out, I realized that Sarah had pooped through her diaper and you could see it out of the top on her onesie!!! I was soooooooooooo embarassed!!! :)
i've done it at the mall but never got looks. at the zoo, all the parents were laying their kids on the benches outside the restroom and doing it, so i joined in there too (on a disposable pad of course). On the boardwalk, I stood her up on a bench and changed her standing. i don't think anyone noticed. her shirt covered most of the tushie anyways.
by the way, a great trick to learn is changing them while they stand. makes it easier and more sanitary to change them just about anywhere. and chances are, their shirts will cover at least half of their nakedness. if she's wearing a dress i reveal nothing. (by the way, all of this applies to wet and not poopie diapers)
Hmmm. I could go both ways with this. If you were in a Gymboree in the Mall, or in the children's play area at McDonalds, wet diapers are the norm. No one bats an eye. If you are in a more formal store like Neimans or Macys . . . mmm . . . maybe it's a decorum issue? Were they actually gasping in horror, or kind of rolling their eyes that what they were seeing (not the naked baby, but the wet urine soaked diaper sitting there?) was a little crass? My guess is, few people would gasp, but a few would, and you ran into the ones that did. I think usually people just walk on.
But I do have to say, Tanker Chic, people have gotten way less sensitive than they ever were before - the trend isn't going to the "more sensitive", the trend is going in the direction that a lot more behavior of all kinds is acceptable.
I changed my babies out in the open when there wasn't anywhere else to do it - for example, at an outdoor festival where all that was available was portopotties. Or on the beach. That kind of thing.
I guess for me, a wet diaper wasn't something that had to be changed in any quick time frame - although some babies are different, and they really flood the diaper so that's a different story. And, as everyone notes, a dirty diaper is something everyone recognizes needs to be done in a restroom or an area far away from everyone.
I was in one of the stores, and I picked him up out of the stroller and noticed his diaper was really wet, so I didn't want to wait. I left the store and there was a bunch of benches and couches in the middle of the mall isle. It was a very wide isle. A lady was sitting on one end of the bench, so I sat on the other end, laid the stroller back in the laying down position and changed his diaper. The lady was originally turned facing forward. When I she realized what I was doing, she made a sound of disgust and turned to face the opposite way and when I pulled the diaper off of him (wet only), I literally heard a gasp. I'm not sure where it came from. I didn't bother looking up. There was also a man on another bench who appeared to be gawking. I avoided eye contact with him, because I had the sense he wanted to make a comment. Who knows, he might not of even had anything to say. I just suddenly had the feeling that everyone over there was either looking away in disgust or staring at me in disbelief. I just belined it outta there!!
next time throw them the diaper and ask them to toss it in the trash haha! i have changed my kids diaper in the stroller but not at the mall. im too freaked about some weirdo looking over and enjoying it. however i have had those looks from breastfeeding. especially now that addison is over a year, even though she is still tiny lol.
the ones that gasped are probably the ones you hear yelling they will beat their kids if they dont mind.
it might be a bit okie but if it works for you who cares! lol you have time to go to the mall? whats your secret lol.
we posted at the same time. see i give eye contact and a smirk or smile always. they dont know how to respond lol. i have even said hi when i felt they were about to make a comment or eye roll. people i guess forget they had babies at one time. they either stayed home or spent an hour going out of their way to do what they needed to do. or they always had a sitter or nanny and never took the kids with them.
I don't have a problem with someone changing a pee pee diaper in public. I don't do it personally because I don't want some pervert checking my babies out. With all the camera phones and other technology, who knows what people are up to.
I don't know why it would be shocking to anyone though. I think the mall is a pretty casual place these days. I see all kinds of things go on when I'm at the mall. A baby being changed is probably the least shocking.
Oh I have done it tons of times.It was so bad once I had to change him on the floor of a Kohls store! (with the changing pad underneath of course) He was leaking out his clothes! My friend gets the same response when she Breast feeds in public. People are stupid!
OMG I just have to quote this famous line from pertykitty, again:
"next time quietly fart and then walk away!!"
I think that will be my answer to everything! There are so many people that annoy me during the day...so from now on I will just do that!
To answer the question, I dont do it out in public, only in my car. And it is only because I dont want perverts looking. I think also because I have a boy, his part are all out there so I feel he is more exposed. I dont care when people do it though, doesnt bother me.
I change my kids in the back of my car all the time! I once had to change Colten's poopy diaper in the play area of McDonalds because I was there a lone with the kids, and I couldn't tear Taylor away from the play area, and he needed to be changed- I was the only one over in that area of the play land, and I drapped a blankie around him so that if someone did come they couldn't see him- but I figured that was better then letting him stink up the whole area- I got the diaper in a plastic bag and in the trash before anyone got over there... I think people make too big of a deal out of stuff...
my dad used to do that to me when i was young lol. in the grocery or wherever we were. just stink the place and slip away like a ninja. i miss him.
the only think i have to say is keeping it sanitary when changing, it would suck if you changed your kid and they kicked the poopy diaper away and it got on the floor or on a surface.
my son was playing baseball last year and my nephew had a dirty diaper. the car was nearly a block away and just port a potty for a bathroom. i told my sis to change her son there and she did. on the grass in a park, people looked in horror and were disgusted. those same people had obese kids eating out of cheeto bags and drinking soda while being pushed in a stroller at 5 yrs old yet my sis was in the wrong? there will always be someone offended at something.
I must have been lucky. No gasping looks: I did NOT change my son`s diaper in a mall even though it was full of pee and suddenly the whole diaper dissolved and fell out of his shorts in shape of some weird looking transparent balls, like bubble tea tapioca with a distinct odor of, well, you know. I was in horror myself and wanted to clean it up but had nothing at hand to do so. On our way past the cashier I only pointed to the area and said "There is a spill in aisle 2" and left. It was just too embarrassing to explain. Lesson learned: change that thing on time, wherever you are. Looks or not.
I honestly don't care to do it or to see someone doing it. People are absolutely ridiculous.
HOWEVER, I was on a plane a few weeks ago and the lady behind me decided that it was OK to change her baby's diarrhea diaper right on the seat because she didn't want to do the line to the bathroom, I almost threw up with the smell. Needless to say, its a closed cabin people should respect other people's noses, it took her like 10 minutes to clean him up I just wanted to yell at her to take him to the bathroom and splash some water on those cheeks.. Anyway the kid just kept on farting and pooping and it was just disgusting. I'd never change a diaper on the seat on the plane unless it was just pee.
Yeah, I had my 3 1/2 year old daughter and my 9 month old son on a plane by myself this fall- Colten did get a poopie diaper, but the flight attendants were great and they made Taylor feel comfortable and I went to the bathroom to change him- it wasn't easy in the airplane bathroom, but they do have those fold down tables... I would never change a poopie diaper right on the seat next to anyone! Wet, sure, but no need to gross anyone out like that- that sounds really nasty! :)
i dont think theres anythign wrong with it.. i have so many times though not in the mall...but in the car before getting my DS out on the seat changed his bum quick because he had pooped or had a big pee...i think it would prolly be more sanitary
Sometimes you just gotta do what just has to be done...and sometimes there is no "good place" to do such things. When diapers need changing or a baby needs feeding, well, you just gotta do it. If/when other people find themselves in a similar situation, perhaps they will then understand.
I've been known to change diapers just about anywhere. :)
I am with cantwait... bathrooms gross me out big time!! specially with miss Maddie that likes to scratch and grab the changer wall!! yuck! i just think... a baby boy's pee has to be all over there! =S
I change her anywhere! and everywhere! I just kinda ''hide' from the main hallway and then make sure I cover her (even with a wipe) at all times... I am scared of weirdos too!
I am with you guys... people need to relax!!
I got the 'look' on saturday for laughing and celebrating my kid's screams of joy at a restaurant.... yeah i know.. for some people is annoying... but, look at it this way: this really cute baby is being extremely happy and is expressing the only way a baby knows! screaming and being silly!.... people, RELAX!!!! sit back and enjoy LIFE!!!!
I was laughing and playing with my girl... all of a sudden an old lady across with her daughter just gave me the look.....
OH FOR GOODNESS SAKES!!!! it's a baby!!! and no, I am not gonna retreat myself and my little one in my house just because someone is not happy with a baby enjoying herself....
That's funny, vsentz, when I see babies carrying on for joy in public I always smile. It sounds so good to hear those happy baby voices - and often the mother is going 'shhhhhhh, shhhhhhhh' but nobody minds squeals.
I will say, I was at a Bennigans not too long ago in a booth seat, and a dad had a baby on his shoulder - back to back with me - and the baby was wailing. The dad wasn't doing anything to change that - no rocking, no moving, just letting the baby scream right directly into my ear canal. Usually crying babies at another table don't bother me, but this was almost comical that he was letting this happen. So I got up and we moved tables (we hadn't ordered yet) and I got this weary look from him like, hey lady, it's just a baby.
It still seems funny to me, and I wonder if he realized that his baby's mouth was less than an inch from my ear. Ahhh, the public. ;D
I have changed Abby's diaper everywhere - that changing table in the bathroom is so gross - who knows who has done what on it and you know it NEVER gets cleaned or disinfected - we went home over the holidays and Abby pooped in the gate area while we were waiting on our connecting flight - I laid a suitcase on its side, put her blanket on it and changed her. I try to be polite and get between her and the crowd and I always carry those little disposable bags in her diaper bags that I can wrap the diaper in before trashing it - I am also one of those horrible people who change their child on the plane - good grief - changing her in the bathroom is a joke but when she pooped, I wiped down the table with Purell and did it - but when she was just wet, we had all three seats - I popped down the tray, laid her on it and changed her and then Purelled the tray. Probable cleaner then it was before.
Abby can't help when she goes - if people have a problem with babies in public - then that's their problem - you change that baby when they need it in the cleanest place you can find and I'm sure his stroller was cleaner then any mall bathroom!!!
I hate to admit it, but I actually changed a poopie diaper in the middle of a Hardee's restaraunt once. I had no choice, though...they didn't have a changing table in the restroom!! Luckily, there was only one customer in the place, and he was on the opposite side of a separation wall all the way across the room. We laid him back in his stroller and did it as quickly as possible. My hubby had everything ready and we did it "doctor" style where I called out "Wipes...powder...diaper" until it was done. :-)
But still, a wet diaper is nothing, especially if you make it quick. Heck, I've even changed Levi's diaper in the trunk of my car!! LOL We were in a parking garage at the mall, and I wasn't walking back into the mall all the way to a bathroom. He was screaming (because he hates having his diaper changed) and people were staring...BUT, OH WELL!!! To each his own. If they don't like it...don't stare. Just keep walking and mind your own business!
Oh... that's a little different I guess... I mean, still a baby... but I would be embarrassed a little if Madisson would be throwing a hissy fit in the middle of a restaurant... (ohhhh looking forward to her 'terrible twos'!) one thing is a funny baby being silly and another is to cry to the top of their lungs!... I guess a piercing wail annoys even the most loving mother! lol
I've had that happen... it's not my favorite thing, but like you said, you just change tables and done!... there are some people that would actually reprimand the mother for letting their baby do that... I wouldn't do so now that I know what it feels like and what it takes to be with baby in a public place!
Have to tell you a story... When my older ds broke his shoulder a couple months ago, he was taken to a childrens hospital. We were there for hours! We would go outside for breaks while my son was sleeping and so out there we decided to change Brayden's diaper in the back of my car. It's a CRV and has a shelf thingy in the back, so he was right there at a great level so we could change him. It was after midnight, not so many people out, and who cares if they see.. it is a small act of changing a baby's diaper right.. Well..... there was a couple doctors who had come out for a smoke break or whatever, passed my car on the way to where they were going, stopped and "reminded" us that what we were doing was infact a violation of an indecent exposure law and you can bet we were on camera". I was LIVID!! IT WAS A 4 MONTH OLD BABY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.... at a children's hospital! So we asked the doctor that was treating my son about it, and he said if they want to be @ssholes about it the hospital could press it, but they most likely would not. He said the other doctors must have been having a bad night.
Wow...good thing you weren't BREAST FEEDING!!! You'd have been thrown in jail for sure!
Some people (especially a few doctors who think they're superior just because they ARE doctors) have no clue. It's ten times worse when they're MEN. If only they could spend ONE day in our shoes...preferably the day we give birth.
Yeah no kidding! I was totally shocked at this given the fact that I was at a children's hospital where they see LOTS of babies. You would think they would be more understanding, sympathetic, or just look the other way. But I guess the one doctor was right, they must of had a bad night or something!
I just tell folks "dinner and a show... what more can you ask for " when my girls go to singing and/or dancing in public. I'd MUCH rather have a child happy with laughter than screaming his/her head off in public.
Laughter should be contagious....
And to pcarsey... I'd like to know what so indecent about a baby??? You are right, it's a BABY for crying out loud! All babies are cute, naked or not, not indecent.
.... people should really lighten up sometimes life's too short.
One would think that with all the stuff doctors see a little penis wouldn't even warrant a second glance! They are supposed to be fine with anatomy- it's not like you were letting your 10 year old pee in the street or anything. What idiots....
I think those doctors just wanted to be a$$holes. I don't think that anywhere it would be a crime or breaking some public indecency laws by changing a kids diaper, that's just ridiculous. And breast feeding in public there are states in which you can breastfeed wherever you like and you wouldn't be breaking any laws. I'd like someone to stare me down or get nasty at me for changing or breastfeeding in public, I might turn violent. I can't stand ignorant people.
I have had to change my daughter in many places, I even had to change her diaper when we were at Arlington National Cemetary in DC. I did it very fast and in her stroller, and I didn't like it, but didn't have a choice. We were far away from a bathroom or the entrance. I seriously don't think most military families would have a problem with this, the places we have to take our kids, our babies when they are so young. I had to change my daughters diaper on a plane because they didn't have a changing table in the bathroom...that really made me mad!
I've had some issues with my daughter when she was a little younger, she's very tall and has a lot of hair for her age so we were at a Denny's when she was 10 months old. They sat us way in the back away from everyone, she was being very good and got really excited and would squeal, I smiled at her and said shhh but was still smiling and laughing. One of the stupid old bitty waitresses came up to the table and told me to make her be quite, she was so rude and gave me the nasties attitude! I was in shock! I asked her what she wanted me to do? Spank my daughter for being happy, she was a baby. Then Natalia started to laugh and squeal again and the waitress gave me a look from across the restruant, so I yelled across to her, what would you like me to do? My baby is being happy, maybe you should try it sometime! The only people that were close to us were some old people, I looked at them and said sorry and they smiled and said not to worry about it that she was in a good mood and very cute.
Some people are just so stupid and need to get over it!
Some people are just too uptight. I've had to change babies diapers in public before. Yeah, I do try to do it as quickly and discreetly as possible but I'm with you all, I hate the gross bathrooms.
Which reminds me, since someone brought up the breastfeeding in public, I've done that too, in public. Again, I was discreet and would drape a blanket over my shoulder before ever even lifting my shirt. Nothing was ever seen. I tried to do it mostly in the car or somewhere away from people but hey, if I was in a mall or something I wasn't going to sit on some dirty toilet to breastfeed my baby! And that's what you have to do! Most bathrooms don't have chairs or anything in them! If they really don't want breastfeeding in public then they should make the bathrooms a much more pleasant environment and at least provide a chair for gosh sakes.
i actually did this during christmas. lol. one of the boys had a soggy soggy diaper didn't wanna walk alllllllllllllll the way to the other end of the mall to change his diaper. (poor kid HATES being in a dirty diaper) so i just pulled our enormous stroller over (a double so it's big) pulled out a diaper and changed him. an older lady looked at me...said something smart (it was more under her breath so i didn't hear) whenever i finished i stood up and looked at her. my reply was "do you have an issue with me changing my sons diaper? how would you like it if you were soggy and you had to wait till mommy pushed you all the way across the mall then had to wait in line to get into the bathroom? would you enjoy diaper rash? no? ok then. look away and don't stare. it's rude." she got all huffy and walked away. my mother (we were doing shopping for the hubby's) just laughed and said well put.
It wouldnt offend me..although i wouldnt do it just because i dont trust people these days! You never know whoes a petafile or a pervert and is going to look,,not in horror! God forbid! But power to you! :)
I do,dont care who gets 'offended'.I just cover her up(don't know what weirdos are out there).Pee pee is fine.Poopey thats another story.Juliana is 17mo & phew the entire mall would have smelt it..lol.Sorry *TMI*
I would never breastfeed my child in a bathroom! That is horrifying. I'd sit on a bench and do it at the mall, put a blanket to cover and everything is fine.
I saw an article of a lady complaining, she was at the mall and she sat on a bench and breastfed her baby, then a mall guard comes over and tells her that she needs to go to the bathroom to do that because it is indecent. So the lady got pi$$ed of course and yelled at him and said "Do you eat in the bathroom?, No?, well my kid doesn't eat in the bathroom either" She filed a complaint at the mall, the guard was fired for being inconsiderate and disrespectful and the mall passed a rule that Women are allowed to breastfeed on any public spaces in the mall and should not be harrassed for it.
I Loved it!!!!
mayflowrs - are you freaking kidding me! Breastfeeding is not even close to masturbating...you've really got to be kidding right?!? Breastfeeding a child is the most natural thing in the world! The baby is eating and a women shouldn't have to hide because stupid people get offended!
You can pump your milk and keep it in bottles to bring with you shopping. There are bathrooms in every store, most have changing tables. Why subject the rest of us to smelling your baby's dirty diaper or seeing you breast feed your kid while eating a sandwich. You have to use discretion with doing "what is natural". I once saw a lady breast feed her kid and almost her whole breast was exposed. She had huge breasts. I was eating lunch and thought about asking her if I could have milk for my coffee but didn't. I know breast milk is supposed to be good for you :-)
Another friend of mine just pulled out her breast, with hair all around her nipples, and started feeling her son while still talking to me. All I could think about was what ugly boobs she had.
I was not breast fed by my mom and I turned out ok.
*also stares blankly at the screen....wwwwhhhhhaaatttt!!!*
mayflower some women can't pump. take me for instance...i have absolutely no problems feeding my children (breastfeeding) but i can't pump. when i do no milk.
i don't understand how people can have such grips about a woman discretely (using a nursing sash or blanket) breastfeeding her child! seriously if she's covered up and you don't see and b**bie hanging out....what's the problem? would you like to eat your breakfast/lunch/dinner in a bathroom? would you want to enjoy your steak/burger/fries while sitting on the toilete smelling those wonderful smells. yup that's where i plan on eating my dinner.....*rolls eyes*
so if you wouldn't eat there....why would you expect a woman to feed her child there?
Mayflowers- Do you have something you would like to talk about? You seem to be a very angry woman with many issues you have never dealt with growing up. Maybe toward your parents? Maybe talking to a counselor might help you come to terms with some things. Or it may be a good idea to just ask yourself..... why am I so angry?
Good Luck.. and may some compassion for others for once be in your future!
well, women will keep breastfeeding and changing pee diapers discretely whether you like it or not... so might as well go pick out your table (to take your dump on) and go get your mag to stir the soup.
PCarsey, no, I'm fine. I'm not angry and I do like children. I have a godson who is the apple of my eye. I just think that some things are better done in private no matter how natural they may be. Didn't someone ask for opinions and b/c I'm disagreeing with most all of you, you're upset and surprized.
Having a baby is wonderful thing and I'm sure it was the highlight of your life but please keep the diaper changing in the bathroom. If you can breast feed without exposing yourself (using a blanket) and not showing off "look what I can do for my baby", then that's a little better than changing diapers. I think some women like "showing off", as if to say, see what a good mother I am.
If you are with other mothers, and they believe like you do, then it's acceptable that you breastfeed/diaper change. I've never been in that clique so really don't get it.
But, this is American and I guess you're not breaking any laws so have fun with doing what you do but don't be surprized that people will look and stare and give nasty looks. We have rights too.
mayflowers- do us all a favor, just so you know how we feel as mothers........ when you are at the mall.... you have to eat, you want, need some food.. you aren't sure when you are going to be able to eat..... go ahead and get some lunch from the food court... take it into the bathroom open a stall and sit on the toilet and eat. Okay, so now that you are doing that, how does it feel, what do you smell, does it make you feel like continuing your meal? Now when you are done eating (if the smell and nastiness didn't make you stop already, you have to use the bathroom.... LAY ON THE FLOOR for about 5 minutes.. roll to the left, roll to the right.. touch the floor with your hand then place your hand in your mouth, try even licking it.
I bet you go home hoping and praying that you don't get sick, that you haven't picked up some disease just because there was no where else to eat or use the bathroom because doing so might make some people feel uncomfortable.
Oh.. and does your friend know that when she feeds her precious baby in front of you, that instead of it being no big deal to you and you supporting it, that it infact makes you so incredibly nauseous that you think and I quote "I don't like to see babies changed in public b/c of the smell and grossness of it all. I also am against public breast feeding. How would you like it if I masturbated in the food court or pulled down my pants and took a sh*t. Some things are meant to be done in private. "
I see here with you having some real problems that you are keeping in.. you need to get it out girl.. don't discriminate.. tell your friend how you feel about her too.. who knows, you could be angry at her and you are just lashing out at the rest of us mothers.
Again I say.. Good Luck.. and may some compassion for others for once be in your future!
** If you can breast feed without exposing yourself (using a blanket) and not showing off "look what I can do for my baby", then that's a little better than changing diapers. I think some women like "showing off", as if to say, see what a good mother I am. **
- I honestly cannot find anywhere here a comment that would suggest breastfeeding mothers whip out the boob to feed the baby and not use a blanket... and in the middle of a food court... like you suggested earlier...
I never looked at it as 'showing off' rather than JUST feeding a baby..... but I guess you're right (surprisingly), they are GOOD mothers for doing so! and it is very admirable that they can overcome the people stares, the milk supply, the leaking, the uncomfortable feeling of engorgement... for their babies! damn right they are AWESOME mothers!!!
And no, I didn't get disturbed by you disagreeing, you can disagree all you want and still respect others opinions and be civic about it with common sense.
But I got sickened (like, gag-sickened) when I read your statement about masturbating and sh!tting.... (coming from a grown up like you...) was the same as breastfeeding and diaper changing (pee) for a baby.... it's funny how you put the perspective of a very new little human being (cute...) that doesn't understand about what society and smashed-minded people like you (not so much...) taboos, compared to what you GROSSLY described yourself doing.....
*turns around to projectile-vomit breakfast*
some other comments and opinions you've made here about REAL MOTHERS and our situations just make me wonder. I still don't understand what you are doing in a Maternal and Child forum... but, I guess it's free access right? and is fun to stir up the hens...
I couldn't help but laugh when I read this. I can kind of see where Mayflowers is coming from. She is talking about the extreme. I personally don't like it when someone whips out their breasts and feeds a baby. I don't mind if it's done discreetly and she is covered up. I don't think you should feed your babies in a bathroom. YUCK!!!!!!!!
You can discreetly change your baby out of the way of others without going to the bathroom. What does bother me is when I was in a restaurant and the mother set her
baby on the table right beside us and changed a diarhea diaper. NO changing pad - NOTHING. That was GROSS. She finished just as their food arrived the smell lingered.
I understand the baby needed changing but it did not need to be done on the restaurant table.
All I can say is "Wow, Mayflowers". I'm stunned. To compare changing an infant or breastfeeding to masturbating or taking a poop (I'll say it politely) in public was very disturbing to me to say the least. You do seem to have a lot of hostility in you. What's up with you girl? Lighten up! :)
Basically all I am saying is that some things should be done in private. In a mall, all the stores have bathrooms with changing tables. You can pump your milk and bring a bottle. I don't want to see a baby attached to a woman's breast or smell a dirty diaper. That's just me. It's how I feel. Other bodily functions are natural too but you don't see people doing those things in public.
And no, basically, that's not all you were saying....if that was ALL you were saying... you wouldn't have been all 'caveman' in the first place.
Just as a warning, so you might as well go get some hear condition Rx... ya know, just in case you get heart attack or two..... people ARE NOT gonna pump and bring the milk if they DON'T WANT TO. So my dear, for your own sanity's sake: deal with it. Period.
And yeah, that's just you.
See, at least I am not upset like I was with Wako... she had a baby... I feel HORRIBLE for that baby's futue.......
At least you are.... just you.... oh well.
vsentz, In a strange way, I find your post a bit of a compliment. I can't just look away, like I said I'm a visual person. A people watcher. I observe life and reflect on what I see. Hope you don't start projectile vomiting again. Eat some saltines and you'll feel better.
"Other bodily functions are natural too but you don't see people doing those things in public. "
People burp and fart in public ALL the time, not to mention breathe their bad breath and sweat their smelly sweat! I just don't view nursing an infant as a "bodily function"!
They are just boobs for crying out loud - who cares!!!! And maybe I am blind, but I have NEVER seen a bfing woman whip it out in a mall as if to show off about it! I think maybe you are a little overly sensitive about this and zoom in when you see someone nursing when most people would just go on their merry way and not even notice. It is just so sad to me to hear someone say " I don't want to see a baby attached to a woman's breast", very sad that our culture has led to this type of attitude. :(
if you asked me for milk for your coffee id squirt you. you really have a twisted view on life and i wouldnt say you "turned out fine". your problem not being able to look away is our problem? the world needs to be set to "mayflowers" rules? haha!! my baby never took a bottle. i dont have any desire to pump to make your life easier lol. let me tell you my dd is about to turn 14 months old. i have bf her in public and with my larger than DD boobs i have kept them hidden. maybe you are a lesbian in total denial and you cant stand how looking at them makes you feel lol.
why are you here in the maternal forum if the closest thing you have in common is you were born? what forum is your forte so we can go and talk ridiculous cr.ap to you??
Ok ladies - let's all get our panties out of a wad here - not defending or attacking anyone - but let's all be honest - on the whole, I think most women who choose to change their baby in a stroller or the trunk of their car or whatever are very discreet - I have NEVER seen a lady fire off an airhorn or turn on a red light to signal everyone - Hey - I'm changing a diaper here - most ladies change the baby's diaper as quickly and discreetly as possible and move on - Personally, I think the changing stations in bathrooms are disgusting - you know they are never cleaned or disinfected and who knows who has done what on them - I will change Abby in the cleanest spot I can find and I will try to do it without drawing attention to what I am doing - same thing with breastfeeding - I don't know of many ladies who will shout out - hello world - I am breastfeeding if you would like to watch!!!!!!! Again - you do what you need to do for your baby discreetly and with respect to others - I think malls should offer a nursing room like Babies R Us - have a nice clean space where you can breastfeed a child in quiet and peace - but until that happens - let's just all calm down and be honest and admit that most women change diapers and breastfeed as discreetly as possible!!!!
I agree. I think it's really sad, too, Mayflowers that you said your friend had ugly, hairy boobs. You looked that close??? I wonder how your friend would feel if she knew you said that about her? A true friend wouldn't care how their friend looks. They accept everything about her, warts and all. I have a friend who's probably 50 pounds overweight, do I sit there and say she looks terrible? Of course not. It doesn't even bother me because I look at the INSIDE person. She's a very caring lady. I have another friend who's house is always a mess. Do I look down my nose at her? No, she's always the one who would rush around trying to pick up when I'd come over and I'd tell her to just sit down and relax so we could visit. I could care less that she had laundry all over the floor. What's really important here, Mayflowers? If that had been MY friend I would have looked in her eyes and continued my conversation with her. I wouldn't have been staring at her boobs. I hope your friend is more gracious than you. How would you feel is she was going around making fun of you? It seems pretty judgmental. I sure wouldn't want a friend like that.
By now, if you guys haven't figured out that I'm a little shallow, then open your eyes and watch my writing. I know it's caustic but at least I'm honest and not sugar-coating things.
By the the way, the friend with the hairy nipples, they were really hairy and it was very obvious. She didn't even cover the baby's head or her boob with a blanket and we were at work in a the conference room eating lunch. There's a place and time for everything and that certainly wasn't the place or time.
Do you women breast feed in front of people you don't know that well? Just curious.
Wow. At least you're honest. I still think that's a pretty sad way to live but it's your life.
I have breastfed before in front of others but I've always covered myself with a blanket first and always try to get away to a quiet corner or something first. I did try to be discreet. I've never seen someone just whip out a breast in front of others like apparently you have. I did have a friend who breastfed her baby while I was visiting her in her house so she didn't cover herself with a blanket (she said the baby hated being covered by a blanket and would fuss and pull the blanket off) but still, her shirt and the baby's head pretty much covered everything. I've just honestly never seen someone blatantly pull out a breast and flash it for everyone to see. I think most women still try to be discreet and cover up.
I do have to say, in mayflower's defense, that I've seen a very few women just pull it out and present it to the crowd, and those women do not have appealing looking boobs. There, I've said it.
In this month's National Geographic there's a picture of a woman in Guyana breastfeeding. You can see her entire breast and nipple, and if every woman looked like that breastfeeding, no one would object to it in public. It's a lovely photo.
It's like, you know how some women when they get dressed putting on layer after layer of garments are lovely and captivating and graceful, and other women who are in the bathroom stall next to you grunting and puffing trying to stuff themselves back into spanx and pantyhose and pants and you can just hear them huff and streetttcccchhh and pull? UNAPPEALING. Some things are best left done in private.
And also, same goes for ladies who put their lipstick on at the restaurant table after dessert. Where has the mystique gone? ;D
I had to laugh- I put lipstick on at the table! :) Shame on me!! And just for the record I don't care if you change your child's diaper or breast feed in front of me! I think sometimes you have to actually have children to understand these things.
I cover myself when I breadfeed only because there are perverted people out there who can't keep their eyes to themselves. They try to make a natural thing into something perverted, and that is soo sad to me.
I have breastfed in public also with a blanket.. Ava HATED it, she was sweaty and uncomfortable. I learned to wear bigger shirts so that my shirt would drape over her face while she eats and still no one would see.
There has been only one occasion where I felt uncomfortable feeding in front of a male and that is with one of my fiance's friends.. he could not take his eyse off of Ava and I. He would try to do it by looking out of the corner of his eye at me, and I could feel him burning a whole right through us.. I got up and walked into another room in my OWN home.
Also, I do not feel that I am showing off because I am able to breastfeed either. As Vanessa said it is tough being engorged, that is the most uncomfortable pain, milk running down your sides staining your clothes, not to mention my boobs are not as perky as they once were and I even have implants! Think about what it does to your sex life! I can't stand for them to be touched by her Daddy, I'm like ewwww don't touch them because milk will squirt out... and we all know what positions will cause that.
One day my boobs will be my own again. I am looking forward to that day. :) But lordy I will miss that bonding time with Ava.
I'm just so shy about my body and I don't like to get into anyone's face about my attributes. I don't wear low cut shirts or tight pants. I've been told I have a really good body. My boobs are a perky size C, small waist, small hips, long legs, but I don't show it off unless I've been drinking and with my boyfriend and Keith Sweat is playing. Anyway, maybe this is why I get so weird about seeing a woman breast feed or seeing a baby get changed. Nudity, natural or not, makes me uncomfortable (unless I'm drunk, then I don't really care).
Does this make sense to anyone?
And men are going to look at women's breasts no matter what. Especially if they are breast feeding, it's like a freebie to them. I've heard men say it turns them on.
What mall do you go to? All the malls I've ever been to only have restrooms in the department stores and at the food court. I challenge you to name ONE mall that all the stores have restrooms with changing tables?
Also do you eat in the restroom? Why should a baby have to? And where is mom supposed to sit, on the toilet? That is gross!!
I have to say I do take offense the notion that providing my child with nourishment is akin to taking a poo in the food court of a mall.
I am entitled to nurse my child whenever i see fit just as a mother is entitled to give her child a bottle whenever she needs to.
Now I do not change babies in public, I have a bad back and need to be able to have them up at a better angle. I love the changing tables in the bathrooms, but I also carry disposable pads around.
As far as those who claim to be too visual to not gawk while I nurse, I can promise you that you will see more of any Hollywood actresses breast in a movie, magazine, or billboard than you would of mine while I am nursing.
hate to admit that I agree with mayflowers - but I have problems with nudity as well. I know that the most natural thing in the world is for a mommy to be breastfeeding her baby - even though I've worked in preschools forever - I still have a problem with the nudity in breastfeeding - but the thing is, that's MY issue, not theirs. Although I am uncomfortable, I just make a point of looking at the mom's face if I am talking to her - I WOULD never ask someone to not breastfeed or make them feel bad to feeding in front of me - if I'm that uncomfortable, I can walk away - but a hungry maybe can't exactly walk around looking for food - but I still say as a whole, our society needs to be more understanding and encouraging of mother's breastfeeding and we should offer clean and comfortable nursing rooms in airports, malls, etc
I think it kind of depends on where you are, who you hang out with whether you will see women who openly breastfeed or change a baby in a very public way. I was in a midwife group because I was teaching childbirth, so I joined for support and educational resources, and let me tell you. Midwives are not discreet about babies breastfeeding. It was a fairly large group - and it did often include men - not many - very interesting group, actually - and routinely you'd see a woman with a completely bare breast feeding a baby while her toddler grabbed at her impatiently "my turn my turn" at which point he/she would then get the rest that was left after the baby finished, all the while everyone is sitting around in a group format discussing . . . hospital policies on tub births or the evil formula manufacturers. And then often they'd leave their boob out to airdry, don't want cracked nipples do we? Granted, this is a closed (if somewhat large) group but going out to lunch with them or in a public story hour at the library their behavior was about the same. So yes, there are women who are very public, and in fact appear to be daring anyone to object.
But they were a great group, honestly. Midwives are fascinating.
I used to work at a company that had a breast feeding room where mothers who brought their babies to work, could go in and breast feed as needed. This was a large company and very progressive. I think more places should be like that - even malls should have rooms like that. Nice, clean rooms.
I see changing tables in all the large department stores where I live - Macy's, etc. Some even have a little special room for that. I didn't think about the cleanliness of it but if you carry around those disinfectant wipes, I think that would kill anything. Or those pads like Andi uses. It's like using a public toilet isn't it? How many people get a disease from using a public toilet even if they don't use those paper seat covers?
Also, I've never had a baby so I am clueless to what mothers have to go through, but I thought you all could pump. I guess if the mother is covered up and discreet about breastfeeding, it's ok. But in a conference room, with co-workers, or in front of people you don't know with lots of skin showing, that I can't agree with. Maybe I've just been at places where people acted like animals and so that's my experience.
I know I may have offended some of you, and I apologize if I did. I'm a little blunt and have rough edges. As for a single woman w/o kids being on this forum, I must say that I find this is one of the most interesting on medhelp. I even like a bunch of you though you may not care for me. What can I say? I'm weird.
Not one of my boys ever took a bottle, not once. I had only one functioning breast for nursing, so pumping was never an option anyway. I was not about to be regaled to my home or a nasty public restroom so my child could eat. And I imagine if my face were all over a toilet, I would likely pick up a slew of illnesses. So imagine the same holds true for a young baby, who has a much more vulnerable immune system. Watch the Mythbusters episode where they tested the swirling bacteria in the bathroom...it was nasty!
Anyway, I appreciate the fact people can admit the problem lies within themselves when it comes to breastfeeding in public. I can tell you my children are more perplexed about a bottle fed infant than they would ever be about a nursing mother.
And RR, we all know the majority of mothers such as myself are not out there to prove a point by letting our breasts hang out while nursing. I live in a very progressive area and spend a great deal of time taking my boys around Seattle and surrounding areas full of mothers with infant and older children to zoos, Children's museums, aquariums, malls, etc and cannot honestly ever recall seeing someone gratuitously exposing their breast while nursing to "prove a point."
We are a group that are proud of our commitment to our children, but most do not feel the need to be the center of attention for exposing our breasts. Many of the people around me were completely unaware of my nursing in front of them, they simply assumed I was holding a sleeping baby.
I like you, Andrea (may). I realize you have a limited perspective on some things, much like I did before having my children. You would all be floored to know my views about nursing before I became a mother. Never in a million years would you ever see me a champion for nursing rights or the Breastfeeding Guru anywhere. We grow, we change. I am a different person than I was 10, 5, heck even 2 years ago.
I must just walk around completely unaware of my surroundings because I swear, I never notice people breastfeeding or changing baby diapers in public. For you to see the details, you really have to be paying attention. Maybe people should just spend more time focusing on what they are doing instead of what the people around them are doing.
Tanker, I just now looked at your profile - Oklahoma City. I don't think I've ever been in a more reserved, conservative area than OKC and Tulsa. When you first posted this I was kind of amazed that people "gasped in horror", because that just seems out of the norm. And now this recent post, you never see people breastfeeding or changing babies in public.
I bet you're right - people rarely do that in public in OKC. It's a different norm.
In Austin, you see it all the time and you don't hear gasps. When in Rome, I guess . . .
the biggest problem with changing tables is that some moms are just dirty and disgusting. they might take that poopy diaper and leave it on the changing table and then fold it up. baby boys pee and it doesnt have any particular direction but everywhere lol. babies will do their best to touch anything you dont want them to, seems they are determined to always find the nasty things we might not see.
may i think when you told me i had hairy man hands i decided you were just a bit forward to say the least lol.its not necessarily me not liking you, its me defending myself. i once was a bruiser, a hot head, a no ask questions punch you in the face kind of gal and even though i have changed, when my baby or mothering skills are judged i come out with claws out lol.
I'm from the South (USA). Not a prude by any means but I do think there is something important about considering other people. I wouldn't "poop" in public and I won't "pee" in public. Plus, now-a-days, almost all public toilets have a diaper room, perfectly accommodating, for a mother to change her baby's diapers. It seems the most appropriate place, I would not defaecate in a shopping mall's plant stand if I can help it, and I wouldn't change my baby's diapers near a plant stand either! We have not come to a "get naked society" and I don't believe in one anyway (then where is the mystery and seduction!)! Have some courtesy as well as pride in yourself, your baby and your family! Change your diaper discretely for goodness sakes and above all, don't do it on a food-court!
Public restrooms are DISGUSTING!!! I would never, ever feed a baby, child in a restroom. Breastfeeding is an HONOR and I was so sad when I couldnt breastfeed my son! I was able to do so for a week but because my blood pressure spiked back up after having him (dangerously life threatening), i had to get back on my meds (which I was able to stop taking while pregnant! Amazing how the body protects you and the baby). Those meds are compatible with breastfeeding. So I envy the women that are able to breastfeed. It's a beautiful experience to know you are giving your baby nourishment and making them healthly. To turn it into something perverted is in the mind of that person, not the BF mother.
Gasp all they want, but the two locations I've lived with my son, they don't have changing tables that work in the bathrooms. If someone made a comment to me, I flat out told them why I was doing it where I was and if they had a problem they didn't have to watch. After all it is a baby. I'm not changing my 83 year old grandfather's diaper in public.
that's what it all boils down to, it's a baby. they have no schedule for peeing or pooping, and you can't stop your life, or not leave the house, because you may have to change a baby's diaper in public. i live wayyyyy out in the woods, and it takes a long time to get anywhere i'm going, so usually a diaper change is needed once i get to a store. a lot of places (even if i wanted to use one) do not have diaper changing stations. you do what you have to do. i try to be discreet when changing my dd's diaper. but i would rather take the stares and dirty looks than let her sit in a dirty diaper and screaming while i'm trying to find the "appropriate" place to "take care of business".
I'm trying to remember back in the olden days....what did most mothers do back then...
I just don't remember being at a mall long enough for a diaper change to be a real issue. When I took my kids there, it was to get a specific thing, not to spend all day browsing around.
If it was going to be a long time, I guess I changed them in the car prior to going in the store. I just don't remember checking the diaper situation all the time. The baby was in the stroller, I shopped. I don't remember really the situation coming up. I'd find the poopie diaper when I got home.
I'm not crazy about the idea of changing a stool filled diaper in a restaurant, or in the middle of a crowd of people. I'm sure that I'd find someplace rather secluded, if for some reason I HAD to change it that second. If I couldn't, I'd probably just go home, or at least out to the car.
Breastfeeding is little different. Again, if I had to go somewhere for a relatively long shopping trip, I'd time it so that I'd feed the baby just prior to going, so it wouldn't be an issue for a couple of hours. If it did come up unexpectedly, I'd again find a spot where I could have some semblance of privacy, for my own comfort not to have people stare.
I know I am kinda late to this discussion and I didn't read all of the responses.
Mayflower- I want you to go sit down on a public bathroom toilet for 15 minutes and see how fast it takes for your legs are falling asleep and your arms feel like they are going to fall off from holding your baby up since there is nothing for you to rest your arm on. Try it, I bet you wont find it very fun.
Yes, I did breastfeed my son in public in front of people I didn't know and yes I did get AWFUL looks, you know what I did? I gave those awful looks right back. I kept my self covered as hard as it was since Noah HATED being under a blanket, he was constantly trying to uncover himself.
I COULDN'T pump and give Noah a bottle, he NEVER took one. My mom finally got him to take a bottle of breast milk when he was 6 months and it was like torture, he hadn't eaten for 8 hours and he finally gave in.
You said your mom didn't breastfeed you and you turned out just fine...really? You think so? Sorry I got my panties all in a bunch but it frustrates the **** out of me that I cant do what is best for my child in a very discrete way without being gawked at by people like you.
mayflowers-- obviously not a mother.. so you would have no idea how it feels to hear your child scream or cry because they have a wet diaper and knowing you could fix that pain right then and there but you may have to offend a couple people... hmmm tough decision.. not! I could give a rats a@@ who is offended by my daughters wet diaper.. you don't like it you don't look.. simple as that.. I myself have never breastfed but if I did.. once again if my child was hungry you DAMN right I would feed her.. I could care less where I was at.. my child comes first .. and i wouldn't even give a thought to anyone else.. but once again you are NOT a mother so you wouldn't understand..
*gets down off my soapbox*
Public restrooms are very disgusting.. *shudders thinking of it* And at least I know my daughters stroller is clean.. =D And to be honest you really would have to look real hard to see me doing it in a stroller.. I have never once got a look of disgust while changing my daughters diaper..*or maybe I never noticed simply b/c i don't care* ...
I find smoking disgusting but I don't gasp every time I see someone with a cigerette.. I find people who arent very hygenic to be disgusting but I don't go up to them and tell them to take a shower.. The simple fact is the world is full of disgusting things and if people are gonna gasp at every little thing.. let them.. its their life they are wasting.
*shrugs and continues to eat her yummy stuffed green pepper ; ) *
Personally, I have changed a diaper or two in public and I am not even a mother. I do not see why a child (baby) has to wait and eat, when I as an adult can pretty much get up and eat anytime that I want to.
There are some parents that have done some things that are inappropriate, but truth is, we care for those children. I (sorry to get graphic, but since most of you are women you understand) have had to go to the nearest bathroom, male or female, to change out my fem protection because I felt uncomfortable. That is similar to what that baby is feeling. When you truly care for a child, sometimes, you have to take a few stares and eye-rolls.
Often times, people that have not lived with children or had children of their own do not understand. I was one of those people until I moved in with my cousin and his wife. They had an 18mos old and a new born. The newborn not only nursed, but also had pooping issues. There were times when we had to strip him down because he got it over himself.
Truth is, we (adults) do not like to be uncomfortable, we are not going to eat in a restroom, we have a responsibility to look out for our child's welfare. At the end of the day, feed your child and change that diaper. If it is a poopie one, please wrap in a plastic bag before throwing it in a trashcan.
She must walk blind folded in the mall, or for Wal-Mart for that matter, if nudity makes her uncomfortable.. flesh is plastered EVERYWHERE around us. Like Andi said, I too never thought I would breastfeed my child until I studied the benefits of breastmilk.
I would never wait to change a poopied diaper! Ava has a vagina.. could you imagine sitting in poopie for a long period of time? That is disgusting. She gets poopie ALL inside of her, and that c r a p needs to come out ASAP!
I truly believe it was a waste of my time explaining to this woman what or why this is NATURAL part of life. I will not, in a million years, make (or nor I want to) this person understand it's a MOTHER's thing. She is the one that gets angry at breastfeeding women, ... the mother can care less about this woman (or people like her anyway), she is the one who's going to get all sick in the stomach with all the hard feelings she has inside, not us mothers..... so, let her throw her hissy fit! who cares about it!?
BabyH, yes!!! You have a very good point.
I always used my "I love Peek" t shirt to cover up my big ole saggy stretched marked boob when out and about nursing my son. We are an "out and about" type of family; always going for walks here and there. I think my kids have had more diapers changed in the back of the car than at home, we even have a travelling potty that is now resident in the back of the car, no way are the feedng and diapering needs of my kids going to keep me locked up in my house for the baby and toddler years.
As an aside note; have you seen the way some adults eat in restaurants, especially at the "all you can eat buffets" stuffing their faces, now that is something to be ahsamed of. I think I'd rather see a baby's bum anyday than some of those folks troughing down their dinner.
may you want a taste? lol its not the best but its better than skim milk lol.
you all know what i hate seeing? girls of all ages and all sizes sitting down with their already low jeans sliding off their buttcheeks and their stretched to maximum cap. faded thong showing. or men with super hairy bodies wearing tanks. or girls that are super overweight and yet they feel the tightest of tank tops are sexy. i imagine i stare at that the way some might stare at my breastfeeding. i know they arent giving nutrition to another living being but a stare is a stare i guess lol.
what i do like seeing is a muscular man with no body hair and jeans that sit just so with a slightly tight t and he doesnt know just how sexy he is!!!
oh...oooooooooohhhhh!!!! I must confess: I am guilty of showing my a@@ to the world when I bend over to pick Maddie's dolls, bibs or whatever the missy decides to toss to the floor with a giggle. My pants cannot hold on to anything! I have noooo butt!!!!
Vsentz I have no butt either. I am guilty of the low rise jeans and thong showing but in my defense I wear a belt to help strap myself in! :P
As for changing a babies diaper in public... I think its do what you have to do. God knows that Aspen has gotten a way pee pee diaper (she always holds it so that when she does go it floods) while I was shopping and I've changed her in her stroller in the middle of the mall. In fact, screw decorum I've changed her in the middle of Nordstrom's! I really don't care, I actually love when people give me weird looks.
Oh not the underwear showing. I have a story that is hilarious. I admit, my butt is always showing. I wear a belt but still I dont know what is up with it. Ethan constantly throws stuff out of his stroller. One day in the mall, he chucked his spoon out, so I lean to get it. ALways worried about my butt. I pull my shirt down in the back and reach with the other hand to grab it. Well as soon as I get up DH and I hear a faint frail voice behind us YELLING......MISS YOUR UNDERWEAR IS SHOWING.....YOUR UNDERWEAR IS SHOWING. I turn around and it is the oldest woman i have ever seen walking around at the mall. My husband laughs at it, because he just knows it happens all the time (at home he calls me "Two Feet and a Butt Crack", when I play with Ethan on the ground...LOL). I was so embarassed that others heard though. They need to build jean with a higher butt panel!
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