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Three year old son does not listen
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Three year old son does not listen

I am having some problems figuring out how to discipline my three-year-old son. For the most part, he is a very pleasant, well-mannered little boy, however lately we have been having a really big problem with him acting in a very defiant way. It seems that the majority of the time if we ask him to do anything he does the opposite. If I ask him to come to where I am he runs the other way, if I tell him to sit down he jumps up and down. I know he is testing his limits and pushing his father and I as far as he can (and doing a fabulous job at that!) When he acts this way while we are at home it is easier because we can send him to his room which works fairly well, but its so hard when we are out somewhere and he acts this way. We have never spanked him and do not ever plan on doing so, I just wanted to know if anyone has any advice as to what sort of strategy worked best for them if they were in the same situation. I know it does no good to make threats to do something when you know that you will not follow through, it just gets really difficult to come up with some sort of punishment while at the grocery store, mall, library, etc...We also try very hard to make it a HUGE deal when he actually does obey and do as he is told, however, this does not seem to happen all that often. Any ideas would really be appreciated!!
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Avatar_n_tn
I'm by no means an expert, but i have three sons and the thing i've noticed is that ANYTHING i say I HAVE to follow through EVERY single time.  If you threaten one time and then do not follow through, they seem to remember this.  I have told them before "if you act up at so and so's house we will leave" and the first time they act up..no kidding..we leave.  Same thing in the grocery store..or anywhere for that matter.  when my oldest (almost 11) was young I even left church when he misbehaved..I probably sound crazy but I honestly think it worked.  I have told them "if you leave toys laying around they will go in the trash"...and they do.  I probably sound mean, but it's working pretty well so far (most of the time) =) Good luck!
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Avatar_n_tn
hi there all- I have a 7yr old daughter and I find that our 'Star Chart' works very well. Rewarded every day with a star (of course only when good) and at the end of the week the stars are counted up and she is rewarded again with either going somewhere of her choice, sometimes a small toy. There are many rewards you can think of. Im not saying this will work with every child but, in our case it has made great improvments!
From the age of two she was a little knightmare, very horrible towards myself mainly e.g I have long hair and if I should lay on the settee ( huge mistake!!) she would drag me by my hair off the chair.. thats just an example. This went on till she was about 4yrs and i had tried all sorts and nothing seemed to work I started to dread the thought of her getting to the age of 10. Then someone told me about the Star chart, it did take a little bit of time to get into it but as soon as we got into the swing of the 'Star Chart' all seemed so easy..
I hope you find a solution, and good luck..
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Avatar_n_tn
Hi
I just wanted to remind you that developmentaly your child is right on schedule - 3 years old - it's the terrible NO stage (when he discovers the power in the word 'NO') and he is estabishing his individual boundaries. Which means that while it IS driving your around the bend, it is healthy development. When I studied developmental psychology, my teachers emphasised that it was important not to get into arguments with the kids on the lesser issues. Pick the things you want him to do and ignore the others. He needs to know those boundaries exist, but on the other hand, it's ok if he feels like he has won an arguement here or there.
And good luck. I hope you all survive this stage. I have heard other parents get through it somehow :).

Dat
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Avatar_n_tn
I am with Kelli! When he is misbehaving in public, as hard as it may be, remove him from the situation. Leave your cart in the grocery store, go home and put him in his room (or whatever punishment you choose). There has to be some consequence for his actions or they will never change. He will continue to think that he is the boss. I wish you all the luck in the world!!! I have an 8 year old daughter (who was very laid back, Thank God) and I am 26 weeks pg with #2. I am sure that I won't get so lucky this time!! :) Shannon
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Avatar_n_tn
That's good consistency, Kellie!  It will pay off (hopefully) during those teen years.

Audrey, over on the Child Behaviour board, the psychologist frequently recommends a book SOS, Help for Parents...scoot over there and look at a few of her replies for the author (I think it was Lynn Clark).  The psychologist recommends it highly.

You might even find similar questions to yours.
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Avatar_n_tn
http://www.drphil.com/advice/advice.jhtml?contentId=par_discipline_ageappropriate.xml&section=Parenting&subsection=Discipline

Try this website. I don't know if you ever watch Dr. Phil or not, but he has some great advice. Shannon
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Avatar_n_tn
Firstly, my DD is 3 years old, so I know what you are going through!!

I agree that consistency is extremely important!!

I also have to say that you always hear about the "terrible 2's", but I really think 3 is the most trying!LOL  
I think it is just a phase (not that you should be lax about disipline, just giving you a bit of hope, trust me it gets better, I have 2 older children).

I also think it may have a little to do with the holidays, the difference in routine.  Like visiting relatives and such.  Somehow they know that you don't want to look like a huge strict "meanie" around your family!!  It's hard to get BACK into the normal behavior afterwards.  Not that much is "normal" for 3 year old behavior!LOL

Saying you will leave the store or friends house sounds like it works but, I would go nuts cutting visits short!  After all, it is my only adult conversation in the day! LOL

I do the old "time out", make them sit until they calm down.  It's harder at someone else's house, but I usually hold her on my lap for the "timeout" - when I'm out, bathroom.(By the way, I wouldn't even try timeouts for any child younger than 2, and I always follow the rule "1 minute for a 2 year old, and add a minute for every year after.  Or if it is a tantrum, until they calm if it is sooner.)


It is hard to disipline at this age because you can't really ground them or take away privilleges yet, because they don't really understand what's going on.  

As for throwing things(I don't know if this is your problem, but mine had it for a while) I would make her go pick up the toy.  Now, I know what you might be thinking, how can I "make" them???  Well, if she wouldn't do it on her own, I would walk her over to it take her hand and lead it to the toy, don't worry if they still won't hold it, I just held it in the hand I was holding her hand with to show her what I want her to do and how, then I would lead her to where ever it goes and set it there.  

If it is pinching, biting, scratching that is the problem, I would make sure to use the same word that you use for when they are hurt(like if you say "owwy" when they get hurt, then when they hurt someone else, saying "you hurt ____."  is a bit more confusing than, "you gave _____ an owwy!").  Also apologizing is very important (IMO) kisses, hugs, "I'm sorry", whatever you see fit.  It's also good to role play with them with dolls/stuffed animals.  Acting out the situation yourself, with the toy and do the proper response.  I know it works wonders with my DD.  Of course every child is different, just thought I would throw out a few more strategies.

Anamri
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Avatar_n_tn
My daughter is 2 1/2 and going through the same thing.  I have a few comments.....someone posted a site for Dr. Phil.  He is wonderful.  One thing he says is to take away something important to them.  Someone else mentioned that they are too young to understand, but I disagree. My daughter understands very well when I take her baby away or tell her she cannot have a favorite toy until tomorrow.  When I give it back she asks, "I have to be a good girl now so you don't take my baby again?"  I put what I take from her up high where she can see it but cannot reach it.  That way she is reminded that she lost the privelege of playing with it and why.
Also, you mentioned that you have to follow through with consequences and that is the most important (and sometimes most difficult) thing you can do right now.  I work with children daily as a teacher and I took a ton of Child development courses.  Children learn instantly that your threats mean nothing unless you follow through every time.  So use consequences that you can live with and that the child values (taking away a toy, no TV, not going outside, etc.)
One more thing....right now is the time to do it all.  Almost everything about a person's personality, intelligence, and emotional stability is developed by the time they are 5 years old.  That's why you do the work now and you won't have to later.  It's much harder to turn things around when they reach school age than it is to get it going in the right direction now.  I applaud you for trying....many parents don't care and let their kids grow into monsters.  Keep it up!
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Avatar_n_tn
I found this article and thought it might be interesting.

To Spank or Not to Spank?

Is spanking an effective means of discipline for kids, or does it merely teach them to be violent? Fewer topics have generated so much emotion as whether to spank or not. First, what does the law say? Is it illegal to spank your kids? The answer is no-but parents who spank must be very careful to avoid running afoul of the law. Colorado law defines child abuse to include any case in which a child exhibits evidence of skin bruising, bleeding, failure to thrive, burns, fractures, etc. and the condition is not justifiably explained or the circumstances indicate that the condition was not accidental. For purposes of the child abuse law, parental discipline through spanking may not be justifiable if the child is bruised or otherwise injured. Thus, spanking is not illegal, but injuring a child is.

Apart from the legalities, is spanking a good idea? Does it work? According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, about 90 percent of U.S. parents spank, and about 59 percent of pediatricians in a 1992 survey said they support the practice. According to the academy, effective discipline has three key components: first, a loving, supportive relationship between parent and child; second, use of positive reinforcement when children behave well; and third, use of punishment when children misbehave. Many parents these days are fearful of using spanking as punishment, either because of the law or because they fear it teaches violence to their kids.

Some professional organizations of physicians and psychologists have suggested that spanking is detrimental and leads to family violence and child abuse. They have suggested that spanking teaches physically aggressive behavior which the child will imitate. But does the research support these assertions? According to the National Institute for Healthcare Research, more than 80 percent of the professional publications attacking spanking were reviews and commentaries, rather than quantitative research. When analyzing the small portion of quantitative studies that included spanking, more than 90 percent of these studies lumped together mild forms of spanking with severe forms of physical abuse without discussing why they did so. Thus, the professional organizations which advocated outlawing spanking evidently made their decisions without the benefit of the facts. Mild spanking and severe child abuse are not the same thing.

While spanking is not illegal, bruising or otherwise injuring a child is. But what about mild spanking as a corrective measure? Is it a good idea? Spanking works best when coupled with other disciplinary measures, such as "time out." Research regarding behavior modification of children ages 2 to 6 found that spanking a child two times on either the rear or thigh helped improve compliance with "time out" for misbehavior. These children were more likely to remain in their room after acting up if a potential spank followed if they left before the time was up. Furthermore, pairing reasoning with a spanking in the toddler years delayed misbehavior longer than did either reasoning or spanking alone. Reasoning linked with a spank was also more effective compared with other discipline methods. Talking with the child about what behavior is expected and why-with the potential of a follow-up spank-worked best.

According to Physician magazine, spanking should be used selectively for clear, deliberate misbehavior, especially a child's persistent defiance of a parent. It should be used only when the child receives at least as much praise for good behavior as correction for problem behavior. Verbal correction, time out and logical consequences should be used initially, followed by spanking when noncompliance persists. Only a parent should administer a spanking, not another person. Spanking should never be administered on impulse or when a parent is out of control. Parents sometimes need a time out too. Spanking is inappropriate before 15 months of age, should be less necessary after 6 years, and rarely, if ever, used after 10 years of age. Spanking should always be administered in private. Appropriate spanking only leaves temporary redness of skin, and never bruises or injures. Spanking works, but must be used thoughtfully and carefully in conjunction with other disciplinary measures.



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http://www.rmfc.org/fs/fs0072.html
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Avatar_n_tn
KellieD has it right! Even at that tender age, it's important that they begin to understand consequences and boundaries.  His teachers will thank you, but more importantly - he will.  I have an 11 and 13 y.o boys and let me tell you, the limit pushing is at an all time high.  But that's o.k., I've just risen the price of poker.  I hit them where it hurts (video games, TV, computer and friends). When they step out of line, I just pull the plug.  The secret is in staying strong. Good luck :)  I'm getting ready to do this all over again with a 3rd due in May (It's a girl!!)
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Avatar_n_tn
Great book to read on the subject "How to talk so your kids will listen and listen so your kids will talk"

Three ideas that worked like a charm for me:

1)  Active listening.  If you say sit and your son jumps, try saying "I see you enjoy jumping right now, you would really rather jump, you want me to know you like to jump, jumping is fun for you."   By letting your son know that you understand how he feels, he no longer needs to continue to impress you.

2)  After the active listening, distract him.  Distraction is soooo key to controling such a young child.  At the grocery store, play I spy as you shop.  As you put his shoes on (and he wants to take them off) sing a song, make up a story... anything goes... anything will impress his imagination.  Relax and have fun.

3)   Finally, prepare your child in advance by explaining what you expect of his behavior in a situation.  For example:  "When we get to Grandma's house, the rule is you may not take the sofa cushions off."
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Avatar_n_tn
I  have a 3yrd old who is always fighting with other kids, we hardly taking out to the park or any where else where there are kids because we are sure he will hit other's for no reason, we dont know what to do, he wont listen when we talk to him and if we put him in time out he will not stay still. Any advice?
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218870_tn?1240259255
keep putting him in time out.  Tell him the first time that he needs time out.  When he gets out before it is time, tell him one more time that he is going to sit in time out for his 3 minutes and each time he gets out the 3 minutes will start over.  Continue putting him in time out with out saying another word until eventually he will sit there for his three minutes.  Do this every single time.  Never give in!!  Do not ever let him get out with out spending his 3 minutes in there.  This may take several days of you putting him in over and over again but eventually he will learn to stay there.  Once he does stay for his 3 minutes take him to the park and designate a time out spot and take your timer with you and do the same thing at the park.  It is all about consistancy!
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Avatar_n_tn
This is in response to the comment about leaving a store or friends house immediatley, I say this, of course if you threaten to go if there is misbehaviour then you should go.  But that might not always be the best threat.  For example, i live about 30 - 45 minutes from most major stores, I would never accomplish a thing if i was leaving stores and returning home.  So for me a better threat is to take them to the nearest restroom and let them scream for a minute and then ask okay now did you get it all out, because we can stay here until you do.  This usually works because there is no captive audience for their show and start to realize that it is getting them no where.  Besides I think half the time a child acts up in a store is because they don't want to be there in the first place.  and leaving is almost rewarding them for there behavior and punishing you the parent, because once again you can't achieve the daily goals you try to achieve.
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Avatar_f_tn
I signed up here this morn to maybe get a suggestion or 2 about my 30 yr old, lol, but then I started reading, and am full of suggestions becuz I know what seems to work very nicely with my 20 1/2 month old Grandson! And let me start by saying, no, spanking is not an option with Jay, however It was used on very rare occasions, maybe 4 or 5 different times, 1 swat on a 5 yr old rear with an open palm, and I am a small person, 105lbs soaking wet, with a sz 4 1/2 ring finger, so i can imagine the pain was more to my hand than his rear, however I dont trust that all peoples tempers are as lowkey like mine is, and my son has a very short fuse like his sprm donor has, thats the term my son uses, which all stems from this donor choosing to NOT be a part of his 3rd childs life, thanks to the persuassion of the woman that he cheated on me with,( trying to giv the big pic the shortest way possible, cuz is long story, but this supposed to be about Jay, lol, sorry bad habit, i tend to ramble, hubby says over explain, 4give me) ok Jay, toddlers, suggestions.... if u say u r going to do, U MUST DO, NO MATTER WHERE u are, or dont bother saying anything at all! And Be ever so calm, never RAISE the Volume of your voice, but calmly DEEPEN THE TONE of your voice! Jay, at the age of 16 months, trust me, understood exactly what I was saying to him, now granted, he didnt have a huge vocabulary, but linquistically, dont let any1 tell u, they cant comprehend what u say, bcuz they are misinformed apparently, and always use the DEEP TONED VOICE ONLY FOR DISCIPLINARY instructions, conversations, in public when you say ur goina do ..., and at the very beginning always start by saying thier full name, , deep tone, wether u choose to just use 1st name & middle,  first & middle, first & last, or all three, and only do this procedure when disciplining, but it is the deeper tone & the use of 2 or more of thier names that gets thier attention, is not ur play voice, ur dinner voice, nitenite voice, consistency is a MUST in every area,  and the entire time before pre-k, kinder, they are like lil sponges & they learn by sight & voice, wether u realize or not when they start to walk, thats when thier learning comprehension begins, thats when they start having control of those precious bodies, trust me, they walk? They can comprehend! And the more detail you use when conversing & explaining, the broader thier language skills get, and carry on a conversation, words, sounds, tones, they are facinated by everything, & once u hv thier attention, dont  them 1 word and be done. Is like follow the leader, monkey see monkey do, copy cats, sorry, i kno im prolly ramblin, but these work, im just tryin to share/ teach, lol, explain precisely what I KNOW works!! But wether it be disciplining, teaching, playing, putting thm to bed, a nap, bathtime, eating, it has to be routine, consistent, the same everytime, ur just confusing them, if u try to teach them something, but u xplain it differently everytime, remember ur DEVELOPING HERE, ur not telling a person things thats already developed, everything frm startng to walk till the first day of school u r developing the skills they will use till they use them to develop thier own kids. And u gotta be patient, they have spent 9 months in dark & wet, and as far as leaving somewhere when they misbehave, trying to wind this up, i promise, u leave 1 time & 1 time only and follow the above procedures to apply this and as soon as you can start to define to them what a promise is, u make a promise, u keep ur promise, nvr falter from this, can be happy promis, discipline promise, matters not u promise, dont break a promise, in the store? Act up? U leave 1 TIME ONLY, its not a game, yes 40 mins away long trip, havin to leave a friends, not fair to urself, i totally agree, calmly as u leave the 1st & only time, u PROMISE THEM THAT THEY WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO COME WITH U THE NEXT TIME YOU HAVE TO GO WHEREVER, THEY MISBEHAVED, NOT ACCEPTABLE, NOT FUNNY, not  being a nice boy/girl so forth and so on and when u r finished u tell them tht u r promising urself & them that the next time u hv to go/do whatever, they will not be getting to participate, they will hv to stay at home with a sitter, dad, gramma, whoever you would get to sit normally, say nothing else, no more discipline, uve left the place where they were actin up, youve promised what u r goina do the next time. Nxt time rolls around, u say nothing, zip, nada,zero, zilch, u get urself ready contact sitter, and when child reaches destination of sitter, tell them how much u love them, apologize becuz they cant come with u cuz they misbehaved, and now remind them that u promised this was going to take place the next time u had errands, that they would not be coming along, kiss them lovingly, happily, dont be mad, dont be upset, becuz they are going to be, but the fact that u hv thier attention, ur  keeping ur promise, ur happy, u hv things to do, purse on arm, keys in hand, blo a kiss, tell them to be a good boy/girl and if they are, MAYB NXT TIME, THEY MIGHT GET TO JOIN YOU, MAYBE, DEPENDS ON THEM, TELL THEM U LOVE THEM, YOULL SEE THEM IN A LILBIT, SOON AS UR DONE, AND U LEAVE!  But u gotta be calm, consistent, firm, happy, and do the xplaining that they KNEW it was going to be this way, now there is always the possibility they hv forgotten, of course, thier children, and thats ok, but after this procedure is done, they will not forget, but realize also, they do get 1 discipline at EACH LOCATION, 1 TIME EXITING THE MALL & PROMISING THEY WILL NOT GO TO MALL THE NDT TIME U GO TO MALL, CAN ONLY BE USED FOR THE MALL!!! They still will get to accompany you to the grocery store, friends, restuarant, etc, but, 1 time misbehaving at gro, same procedure, u will think its a pain, and u will b disgruntled just a smidgeon, but remember, the next time how peaceful it will be cuz they r with sitter. I didnt say there would be no sacrifices made by the adult, but just think what u hv to look forward to. Nice peaceful trip to wherever. And it does work, they know what ur explaining to them. CALM, DEEP TONE, CONSISTENCY IN EXPLANATION, SAME KEYWORDS, PROMISE, HUG, KISS, SMILE, LOVE, PURSE,KEYS, byebye, see ya soon, DOOR, ......ENJOY! THEY ARE FINE! ANd trust me, this will be on thier lil minds, longer than yours, and they will realize that u xpect them to act properly, or they can expect not to go. And believe me they will not want to be left too many times, and they will catch on. But u cant use 1 misbehaviour for all different outings, 1 EACH DESTINATION!!! And they realize the diff in the mall & the groc store, so i kno i am 1 longwinded MooMoo, 4giv me, just tryin to be precise with what i kno wrks with my precious lil dude! ;) take care! MooMoo to JaydinJames!
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Avatar_f_tn
I signed up here this morn to maybe get a suggestion or 2 about my 30 yr old, lol, but then I started reading, and am full of suggestions becuz I know what seems to work very nicely with my 20 1/2 month old Grandson! And let me start by saying, no, spanking is not an option with Jay, however It was used on very rare occasions, maybe 4 or 5 different times, 1 swat on a 5 yr old rear with an open palm, and I am a small person, 105lbs soaking wet, with a sz 4 1/2 ring finger, so i can imagine the pain was more to my hand than his rear, however I dont trust that all peoples tempers are as lowkey like mine is, and my son has a very short fuse like his sprm donor has, thats the term my son uses, which all stems from this donor choosing to NOT be a part of his 3rd childs life, thanks to the persuassion of the woman that he cheated on me with,( trying to giv the big pic the shortest way possible, cuz is long story, but this supposed to be about Jay, lol, sorry bad habit, i tend to ramble, hubby says over explain, 4give me) ok Jay, toddlers, suggestions.... if u say u r going to do, U MUST DO, NO MATTER WHERE u are, or dont bother saying anything at all! And Be ever so calm, never RAISE the Volume of your voice, but calmly DEEPEN THE TONE of your voice! Jay, at the age of 16 months, trust me, understood exactly what I was saying to him, now granted, he didnt have a huge vocabulary, but linquistically, dont let any1 tell u, they cant comprehend what u say, bcuz they are misinformed apparently, and always use the DEEP TONED VOICE ONLY FOR DISCIPLINARY instructions, conversations, in public when you say ur goina do ..., and at the very beginning always start by saying thier full name, , deep tone, wether u choose to just use 1st name & middle,  first & middle, first & last, or all three, and only do this procedure when disciplining, but it is the deeper tone & the use of 2 or more of thier names that gets thier attention, is not ur play voice, ur dinner voice, nitenite voice, consistency is a MUST in every area,  and the entire time before pre-k, kinder, they are like lil sponges & they learn by sight & voice, wether u realize or not when they start to walk, thats when thier learning comprehension begins, thats when they start having control of those precious bodies, trust me, they walk? They can comprehend! And the more detail you use when conversing & explaining, the broader thier language skills get, and carry on a conversation, words, sounds, tones, they are facinated by everything, & once u hv thier attention, dont  them 1 word and be done. Is like follow the leader, monkey see monkey do, copy cats, sorry, i kno im prolly ramblin, but these work, im just tryin to share/ teach, lol, explain precisely what I KNOW works!! But wether it be disciplining, teaching, playing, putting thm to bed, a nap, bathtime, eating, it has to be routine, consistent, the same everytime, ur just confusing them, if u try to teach them something, but u xplain it differently everytime, remember ur DEVELOPING HERE, ur not telling a person things thats already developed, everything frm startng to walk till the first day of school u r developing the skills they will use till they use them to develop thier own kids. And u gotta be patient, they have spent 9 months in dark & wet, and as far as leaving somewhere when they misbehave, trying to wind this up, i promise, u leave 1 time & 1 time only and follow the above procedures to apply this and as soon as you can start to define to them what a promise is, u make a promise, u keep ur promise, nvr falter from this, can be happy promis, discipline promise, matters not u promise, dont break a promise, in the store? Act up? U leave 1 TIME ONLY, its not a game, yes 40 mins away long trip, havin to leave a friends, not fair to urself, i totally agree, calmly as u leave the 1st & only time, u PROMISE THEM THAT THEY WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO COME WITH U THE NEXT TIME YOU HAVE TO GO WHEREVER, THEY MISBEHAVED, NOT ACCEPTABLE, NOT FUNNY, not  being a nice boy/girl so forth and so on and when u r finished u tell them tht u r promising urself & them that the next time u hv to go/do whatever, they will not be getting to participate, they will hv to stay at home with a sitter, dad, gramma, whoever you would get to sit normally, say nothing else, no more discipline, uve left the place where they were actin up, youve promised what u r goina do the next time. Nxt time rolls around, u say nothing, zip, nada,zero, zilch, u get urself ready contact sitter, and when child reaches destination of sitter, tell them how much u love them, apologize becuz they cant come with u cuz they misbehaved, and now remind them that u promised this was going to take place the next time u had errands, that they would not be coming along, kiss them lovingly, happily, dont be mad, dont be upset, becuz they are going to be, but the fact that u hv thier attention, ur  keeping ur promise, ur happy, u hv things to do, purse on arm, keys in hand, blo a kiss, tell them to be a good boy/girl and if they are, MAYB NXT TIME, THEY MIGHT GET TO JOIN YOU, MAYBE, DEPENDS ON THEM, TELL THEM U LOVE THEM, YOULL SEE THEM IN A LILBIT, SOON AS UR DONE, AND U LEAVE!  But u gotta be calm, consistent, firm, happy, and do the xplaining that they KNEW it was going to be this way, now there is always the possibility they hv forgotten, of course, thier children, and thats ok, but after this procedure is done, they will not forget, but realize also, they do get 1 discipline at EACH LOCATION, 1 TIME EXITING THE MALL & PROMISING THEY WILL NOT GO TO MALL THE NDT TIME U GO TO MALL, CAN ONLY BE USED FOR THE MALL!!! They still will get to accompany you to the grocery store, friends, restuarant, etc, but, 1 time misbehaving at gro, same procedure, u will think its a pain, and u will b disgruntled just a smidgeon, but remember, the next time how peaceful it will be cuz they r with sitter. I didnt say there would be no sacrifices made by the adult, but just think what u hv to look forward to. Nice peaceful trip to wherever. And it does work, they know what ur explaining to them. CALM, DEEP TONE, CONSISTENCY IN EXPLANATION, SAME KEYWORDS, PROMISE, HUG, KISS, SMILE, LOVE, PURSE,KEYS, byebye, see ya soon, DOOR, ......ENJOY! THEY ARE FINE! ANd trust me, this will be on thier lil minds, longer than yours, and they will realize that u xpect them to act properly, or they can expect not to go. And believe me they will not want to be left too many times, and they will catch on. But u cant use 1 misbehaviour for all different outings, 1 EACH DESTINATION!!! And they realize the diff in the mall & the groc store, so i kno i am 1 longwinded MooMoo, 4giv me, just tryin to be precise with what i kno wrks with my precious lil dude! ;) take care! MooMoo to JaydinJames!
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Avatar_m_tn
My son is 3 years old is behavior in public is uncontrollable. He does not stay in one place, I always find myself yelling around the store looking for him. sometimes i would spend over 30 to 40 minutes looking f
or him. He does not listen and regardless all the disciplines that i used it seems that none them works. What can i do?
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Avatar_m_tn
This is probably a phase where he is trying out the boundaries and will past with time. I've brought up active and challenging sons and this is my advise which works. Put your little boy into a buggy/pram/stroller or shopping trolley and  even though he is 3, strap him into it with a harness, if necessary put the harness on back to front so that he cant undo it, don't give him a choice, even if he protests. If  possible put him into the seat out of sight of other people, either in the car park or at home if you use a buggy/stroller before you leave the house.He might resist being put  into the seat and you may have to  distract him, to avoid a struggle. Don't tell him that it is a punishment, maybe ask him to hold a shopping bag, a list or other item or maybe having told him the items you need to buy, get him to recite them for you as you are fixing the harness on securely  Explain that if you can do the shopping quickly, there will be more time to play later, maybe a promise of a trip to the park, bake some cakes or a visit to or from a friend, special TV program, you'll know what your child likes best.
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Avatar_m_tn
This is probably a phase where he is trying out the boundaries and will past with time. I've brought up active and challenging sons and this is my advise which works. Put your little boy into a buggy/pram/stroller or shopping trolley and  even though he is 3, strap him into it with a harness, if necessary put the harness on back to front so that he cant undo it, don't give him a choice, even if he protests. If  possible put him into the seat out of sight of other people, either in the car park or at home if you use a buggy/stroller before you leave the house.He might resist being put  into the seat and you may have to  distract him, to avoid a struggle. Don't tell him that it is a punishment, maybe ask him to hold a shopping bag, a list or other item or maybe having told him the items you need to buy, get him to recite them for you as you are fixing the harness on securely  Explain that if you can do the shopping quickly, there will be more time to play later, maybe a promise of a trip to the park, bake some cakes or a visit to or from a friend, special TV program, you'll know what your child likes best.
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