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Tips on potty training(HELP!!!)
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Tips on potty training(HELP!!!)

Skyler's mom and I are trying to potty train him. (He will be 3 in Oct.) He is wearing underwear. Mindy told me yesterday he peed his pants 8 times and has yet to go in the potty. I have been taking him to the potty about every 20 minutes and we have set there for about 5 minutes, but nothing is happening. He has peed his pants 2 already, both times just about 5-10 min. after he was on the potty. I have told him to tell me when he has to go and asks him all the time if he has to go potty and he says no.  

Do you guys have any tips or is there something I am doing wrong? I would love for him to be completely potty trained before I get too fat to fit in the bathroom with him.
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I know the Charmin Website has a kit that you can order that really helped with train ing my DD. Also we used doctor Phil's method.

http://www.drphil.com/advice/advice.jhtml?contentId=par_pottyprintable.xml&section=Parenting&subsection=Infants/Toddlers

It worked the best for us and DD enjoyed it. She was completely trained in around 2 weeeks. Good luck.
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Hmmm.  I'm no expert but as a mom of 3 boys who the last one is potty training now.  Maybe he's not ready yet? My first two potty trained young (2 and 2.5) but my last one is now 3.5 and just in the last month is mastering potty during the day.  He rarely has accidents anymore but I know when he was 3 he wasn't ready at all.  I would have NEVER thought that before HE was this age but now I see he really wasn't.  I also don't think it's a boy/girl thing totally because my gf's daughter is older than my son and she JUST got potty trained 3 years 7 months.  So, perhaps he's just not ready yet.  My son's ped said don't push it'll just make the battle worse.  I tried the Dr. Phil thing and it helped..but the best thing for me was him deciding HE was ready to do it! I wish you tons of luck! I know it's not easy! =) (this is my humble opinion in CO lol)
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Back in my day, many years ago, bribery was the thing.  

I went to the toy store, and got armloads of tiny (probably very dangerous for tots) toys.  I would wrap each one, and put an assortment in a giant fishbowl that I kept in the locked bathroom cupboard, annoucing with great fanfare that these were "Pee and Poop Prizes".

When he "went"--we had lots of praise, and he got to pick a "prize".  If he wouldn't go, I didn't make a big thing of it, just sadly told him "maybe next time".  

Wasn't a DAY before he was going into the bathroom, dragging me behind him, to SQUEEEEEZE out a drop in order to get his "prize".

Worked for my younger boy, too.  

Probably all the child development experts would tell you that this method is not appropriate.  And--my first child DID turn out rather badly.  But the second has a 4.0 average in college right now.  Whether or not the potty training affected either one, I have no idea.  

But it worked.
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You know I am going to sound like a bad person but I put my daughter's potty chair in front of the television and pretty much forced her to sit on it until she went.  She acted scared when she had to go (she was 2) but I held onto her and told her it would be OK and she would go and then look at me and smile.  She was a little scared a couple more times but eventually realized it wasn't bad.  She only had about 2 accidents afterwards and really wanted to be big and started using the big girl potty right away.  I feel what I did may have been a harsh way but I did not see how it was harming her in anyway so I kept doing it.  If you try that and it seems to be troublesome for the child back off and try something else.  Something is bound to work sooner or later.  I have always heard boys are harder than girls though.  I hope not because I am due to have a baby boy in just 6 or 7 weeks.  Good Luck.  Keep us informed of what you did and if it works or not.
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My daughter was 19 1/2 months old when my son was born and I pretty much forced her to potty train.  I didn't want 2 in diapers. I can remember vividly the very first day I put her on the pot - she teed within 10 minutes and the next 10 minutes she pooed - it was wonderful I thought this is the easiest thing - WRONG - after that mistake after mistake until she was about 2 1/2 - I never used pull-ups on her - the way I knew she was somewhat ready was - in the morning I would find her without her diaper on and her bed wouldn't be wet....I learned patience with her..but now I am interested in this column as well because it is time to start again with my ds......can hardly wait - yeah right!!!! Good Luck - any suggestions would help me as well being my son 20 months old
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I am really thinking maybe he is not ready. It would help if his family did not always tell him he is a baby. The kid still drinks bottles and I have decided when I am here, he is not getting one. This is really frustrating.

The hardest part is I take him over to play with my nieces and nephew, ages 5, almost 4, and almost 2. The youngest is already going in the potty, and the way they potty trained their only boy was they spanked him when he went in his pants and not just a swat. Mindy and I were talking about possibly giving him a swat when he pees his pants, but we don't know. Anyway the kids all call him a baby and my SIL thinks he should be potty trained. Her boy was a week away from his 3rd birthday when he got potty trained and that was only because he was pretty much forced into it.
Mandi
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My son pretty much trained himeself at 3.5 I didnt force him, he just wanted to, so he did.  He started really getting into characters (Thomas the Train, Bob the Builder) so he wanted to wear the printed underwear. He had 2 accidents both at night and thats it.  My MIL was upset that I didnt train him sooner but he really wasn't ready.  My Dr is the one who told me not to force it.  Just tell those who refer to him as a baby that you'd prefer they dont call him that. Thats not good for the childs self esteem. All kids have something they do or dont do such as pick their noses or suck their thumb, it doesnt make them a baby.
Good Luck and don't worry so much.
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I agree..my little guy Cameron is actually doing SO much better now and ALL I could think at 3 years 4 months was WHEN IS THIS BOY going to go potty! He finally started doing it and he's doing SO well now! I really think they will start going when they are ready..not to say that you should just let your kid do whatever THEY want whenver but really..he just wasn't ready earlier and I just didn't push it.  There ARE battles I will win but potty by a certain date just wasn't one of them! I'm so glad and he's doing so much better now so I really think it just comes in time naturally.  I kept telling myself he wouldn't be in junior high wearing pullups and now I see he won't be in kindergarden wearing them either! LOL!
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i'm glad you have doubts about spanking for peeing his pants...learning the sensation of having to pee and poop is one of the hardest things they learn, and as i think someone all ready mentioned some children just aren't ready to learn that as early as others.

with my son i thought i was going to go nuts because no matter what i did he would poop his pants.  one thing that worked well was letting him run around with nothing on the bottom. if he was naked he wouldn't poop because there was nothing there to catch it, when he grabbed his bottom we went in and sat for a while.
the other thing that we tried was taking away all of his "treats" unless he went potty in the potty. that one he understood for sure.
but in the end all of a sudden (i think litterally) he just started going because he was ready!
~nanci
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Oh I forgot....  I also let my daughter decorate her potty chair with stickers and we had an incentive chart and if she went for a full week we would get her somthing special at the end of the week.  We did that for about a month but the stickers on the potty chair kept up until she no longer wanted to use that but the big girl potty instead.  We also went out and got her a video (can't remember the name) all I know is it had a main character of Prudence in it.  Once upon a Potty I think it was called.  She loved it.  Needless to say in no time her potty chair was covered in stickers.  She is now 6 yrs old & with one bathroom in the house I have to fight her a lot now.  I have even gone as far as to let her pee in our sink because being pg I can't hold it.  She also likes to go in the shower which is something I want to break.
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I agree that you shouldn't resort to spanking. I've heard that this can make it worse because they will try and hide when they have to go, or they will go in their pants and then hide their pants. I used a chart system with my son. He was finally potty trained at 2 yrs. 11 mos. I explained the best that I could that peeing in his diaper was naughty and he needed to be a big boy & pee in the potty. In the beginning I bought a book called "Once Upon a Potty" by Alana Frankel(she has a boy and girl version) And I also ordered the Charmin potty training kit. He would sit on the potty and I would read these books to him along with others until he went. Then I would take him to the fridge to a chart that I made up and we would put a star on his chart for that day. I was trying to get across to him that if got 6 stars in one day I would take him to the store and he would get a reward. Well, he was too young to understand that but he loved putting the stars on the chart and got a kick out of drawing the stars on himself. He tried getting stars when he had an accident and I told him no, no stars for peeing your pants. When he finally got the hang of it(it took about 2 weeks) that's all it took. I've heard dunking cheerios works too but I never tried that.
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I am in the process of potty training my 2 year old. I am blessed to have 2 boys in diapers at once,lol. I am not pressing it too much, I know he will use the potty in time. Dr. Phil's website has some interesting info about training and the charmin kit someone mentioned is also really cool. We have resorted to having a potty in the bathroom and another in the hallway as Jonathan gets distracted in the bathroom (he constantly wants to wash his hands and brush his teeth when he is the bathroom,lol)

I agree that spanking is not the way to go. Children should not be made to feel ashamed if they have an accident, nor should they be punished verbally or physically. Although I have heard bribing isn't the way to go, many people swear by it. We use bribery all the time,lol. If Jonathan puts himself to bed for a nap or at bedtime, he gets to hold his baby brother the next day (this has worked wonders!). If he is a good boy all day, he gets a special sticker at the end of the night. I also invested in "teacher" stickers. It is a huge roll of 300 stickers that say things like "brilliant" and "great job" to use on a potty chart. They are perfect size and were about $1.50 for the roll at Walmart.

Pampers is coming out with a new line of training pants to help with training. They have regular easy ups (pull ups) and will be coming out with a new product in August called feel and learn. These are much like pull-ups, but they actually allow the child to feel that they are wet, rather than absorbing like a regular diaper. Here is a link to their website, it has a bunch of greta information:

http://us.pampers.com/en_US/potty.do;jsessionid=XGR0JUIHQP3TFQFIAJYX0MWMI2QH25K0?loc=left

Here is a link to huggies website for potty training tips:

http://www.pull-ups.com/na/traininginfo/bigkidbasics/start/whatispt.asp

Hope this helps : ) If your tot is into stories, there is a really cute book from the "What to Expect" line of books about potty training. It is called something like "What to Expect When Using the Potty", I picked one up at Fred Meyer for Jonathan and he loves it!

Andrea



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Please try NOT to spank him for not going.  I think that is horrible in my opinion.  He is little and we have to think how scary it must be.  It is a change for him.  Please try to be understanding of this.  I guess if you have tried everything else and NOTHING works you may have to resort to that but I think in time it will happen and all will be fine.  Don't get me wrong I have spanked my little girl for things but I would never think of doing it for this reason.  Good Luck.  Please do not take this as defensive it just breaks my heart to see a little child getting a spanking for something like that.
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I don't remember exactally how old my son was when I potty trained him......I think around the 2 1/2 mark.
We lived in the country and allowed him to pee outside (aim at the tree)
Could be the wrong way to go but it sure worked for him.
He wouldn't wet at all during the day (of course we were running in and out of the house all day. LOL)
I let him wear a diaper at night (never did the training pants at all) and it only took maybe 2 or 3 weeks and he was waking up dry running to the door needing to go pee.
Took the diapers away altogether and he never had an accident.
I think I was lucky and hope it will be as easy this time around.
Vikki
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