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Toddler being mean!??
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Toddler being mean!??

Girls, I need some advice.  My son is about to drive me over the edge.  Ever since I have gotten pregnant my son HATES ME.  He is kicking me, biting me, slapping me, pulling my hair...  he's 19 months.  I am guessing that he was acting out because I haven't been as "sweet" as I was 2 months ago.  Well I started doing a lot more loving and cuddling etc and I call him "peanut" instead of his name?  Sometimes even something that small can make a big difference to someone.  Well this morning has been off the charts.  I swear I could sell him off!!  Why is he biting me and NO ONE else one minute and cuddling the next?  No matter how he touches me, he's trying to hurt me?  Do you think there is a behavioral disorder here or is it just he and I not communicating?  he's sweet as candy one minute but if I even think of telling him he can't do something he comes running after me wanting to hit, kick, bite, scream etc?  what's the deal?  
If he wants me to do something and I ask him to hold on he throws whatever is in his hand?  I mean to tell you he's just rotten!?

Any suggestions or similar stories???  I've been working so hard on this the last couple weeks and we don't seem to be getting anywhere...  I need to make some kind of change.  I don't want to be aggrevated with him so much.  My mom says it probably won't stop until the baby comes... but I just see it getting worse?  I'm here all day, how can I possibly spend more time with him???  I wanna call dr phil :)  Please help with any advice...

momttc
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Avatar_n_tn
Maybe he is just testing his limits,albeit in an extreme kind of way.My 3rd child,who's now 4 was like that .She hit the terrible 2's early,and I tried everything with her...time out's,yelling when i reached my wits end,etc.the only thing that seemed to work was a quick hand slap.I wouldn't yell,or get emotional when she would act up,i would just simply grab her hand really quick,give it a good slap,and calmy tell her "no,that's inappropriate behavior".It took a couple days of it,but eventually she realised that when ever she would act out in an extreme way,she would get a slap on the hands...and she stopped doing that.Now,when ever her siblings start fighting,she tells them "thats inappropriate,and mom's gonna get mad"...lol
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Avatar_n_tn
The only time I can get him to realize that he's out of line is when i finally snap..  and snatch him up, spank his butt and set him in a chair.  I think it scares him and then he's ok for a few hours.  I'm not kidding this kid is pushing me over the edge.  I've tried being calm and being nice and neither works.  What makes me even madder is that he's frieken peaches and cream with his grandmas???  what's that about?  It's like he says "yeah, get me out of here!".  I used to use a glass of wine to calm my nerves when the end of the day came and he was making me crazy...  now I have nothing...  it's tough.  Thanks for the help :) momttc
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Avatar_n_tn
thanks for the words.  I know he just loves to get out of the house.  grandmas get to do all the fun stuff :)  One day at a time.  Sometimes I feel like 1 HOUR at a time.... is all I can do.

:)  momttc
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Avatar_n_tn
LOL Bless yoru heart! My neighbor has a 22 month old and has been complaining about the same things to me!

As for him being good with others, don't you know why, hon? He sees YOU all the time!! He doesn't get to see grandma ALL the time. Not only that but YOU love him unconditionally and he knows it. He knows he can test boundaries with you and you will love him depsite it all. He doesn't KNOW that he can do that with grandma.

I know even my 6 yr old is a different child when my DH comes home during the summer months. Basically if they are with you all day long, it's nice to see a different face for awhile!
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Avatar_n_tn
How about time-outs for your sanity, too? Have you tried calmly walking out of the room for a minute to escape when he acts out with you? Giving yourself a few seconds to calm down before reacting will also teach him positive ways to deal with frustration. I know how frustrated you must feel....

Leave him somewhere safe (like a play[en, crib, whatever), and tell him Mommy is going in the other room for a minute. Go pee, check email, whatever, but give yourself a second, and let him scream if he has to. It will help you feel much more in control, too.
Little ones are a lot smarter than we give them credit for, too. I'm sure he has noticed the vibe that there's another baby on the way. Maybe a book about new babies might help a little too.
AND, the next time Daddy, Gramma, whoever can take the little bumkin off your hands, go steal some time for you-spa, massage, shopping, movie, whatever. Be nice to yourself-this is normal.
If you tend to your needs, you'll be much more able to cope with his.
Hope this helps.
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Avatar_n_tn
Sounds like he's acting out of frustration. I know those days when you just can't seem to figure it out! But it is most likely testing the boundries.The Happiest Toddler on the block is the best book I have ever read about this and I use all the techniques with just about 100% success. If you are spanking him that may be why he is hitting you. Kids mirror the actions we model. He also might be angry about something. You might try a gentle containment (read about in Happiest Toddler) Or work with his feelings in a calm moment. My son and I practice how we will handle his anger and reactions through puppets and play. It really works!
Good Luck.
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