Trying to decide on Breastfeeding

[kcooper]

Hi Everyone, I have a few questions that I need to speak to some women about (since my hubby doesn't have a real opinion on the subject):  I am trying to decide on breastfeeding.  I am pregant with my 3rd, the first two I did not breastfeed (2 boys), I bottle fed them which went well, they slept through the night early, gained weight, etc.  This time around I am really thinking of breastfeeding.  I feel like I missed out on something and I know a ton of women that breastfeed and look at you weird if you don't.  They all assume you are going to, especially in church.  Here are the questions I am wondering for those of you who have breastfed:

1)Is it really as bad and painful as all the horror stories you hear about from other mothers?  Is it really hard to do and does it always hurt, or only the first few times?

2) Do breastfed babies sleep through the night ever, or are you always going to be doomed to get up in the middle of the night and early morning hours to feed?

3) What age do you stop breastfeeding?  Do you ever give formula?  

4) What good things can you say about breastfeeding?

I am really considering it, especially since I won't be getting out much with a newborn, a 2 (almost 3) year old and a 1 year old.  I will definately have the time and place to do it, plus we won't have to buy so much formula so we'll save a little money and since I feel a little left out from not trying it.  Thanks for all of your help.

[cugirl]

I am going to answer your 3rd question:
What age do you stop breastfeeding? Do you ever give formula?
You can use formula and breasfeed.  Ex: Formula feed at night and breastfeed during the day, or how every you want to do it.
Many Dr want you to breastfeed till they are a year old. But I just read an article where many moms just breastfeed up to 3 months.  As the baby gets older the percentage of moms that breastfeed goes down.  So really its up to you how long you want to breastfeed.  Just remember if you formula feed along with it your milk supply may start to decrease some if your milk is not being needed as much.  But dont worry you can get it back.  
Im having my first in Nov. and still have not decided if I want to breastfeed or formula feed (or both).  Just some input on what Ive read.

[luv_babies]

I am also pregnant with my first and I am trying to decide, so I am glad you posted this question. I know what you mean about people looking at your weird if you don't breastfeed and it's not fair. You have to find what works for you and baby. On the other hand both my SILs did not breastfeed and they kinda look at me weird because I am thinking of at least trying. Good luck in your decision!

[misseltoe]

I haven't breastfed yet as I'm still growing the baby, but during out six years of ttc I've lurked in a breastfeeding group and read a lot about breastfeeding.  
  
1)Is it really as bad and painful as all the horror stories you hear about from other mothers? Is it really hard to do and does it always hurt, or only the first few times?

This really varies from person to person. Some women experience very little pain, while others experience a lot.  In the beginning it is usually painful.  The advice is to give it six weeks.  Once you get the hang of it it is not painful.  If it is painful  it means that something is wrong like an incorrect latch which is bad for you (very painful) and bad for baby.  I think the first two weeks are usually the hardest.

2) Do breastfed babies sleep through the night ever, or are you always going to be doomed to get up in the middle of the night and early morning hours to feed?

Babies sleep through the night when they want to.  You were very lucky that yours slept through when they did.  It is a myth that forula fed babies are more likely to sleep through the night.  Or feeding solids early will help a baby sleep, etc.  In the beginning you will most likely have to feed the baby often.  I know one woman that had three babies that took five minutes to feed. Her babies were all very fast nursers.  So you just never know what is going to happen. But in the beginning you will probably have to feed often, but I know that a lot formula fed babies have the same feeding schedule as breastfed babies.

3) What age do you stop breastfeeding? Do you ever give formula?

The best interest of the child is to breastfeed until the child is a year old.  It's the same as formula.  Breastmilk should be the main food until the baby is a year old. Sadly, in the US most women do not feed breastmilk until a year.  Depending on what state you live in the breastfeeding stats can be really low.  

Formula should be avoided if at all possible.  Unfortunately, some doctors give very bad advice concerning this and cause breastfeeding to end early.  You should only supplement with formula if you have to.  There are real reasons to supplement, but most of the time those issues don't come up.  Once you start giving your baby formula while still breastfeeding it tells your body to make less milk and after a while you just don't produce enough milk to feed your child. If you want someone else to feed the baby you can pump your breastmilk, though a lot of babies don't like being fed by anyone other than their mommys and will refuse the bottle if they know you are near.  

4) What good things can you say about breastfeeding?

Well, I can't talk from experience but I can tell you why I will breastfeed and do everything I possibly can to make it work.

First, it gives the child the best start in life.  There is no better food for a baby than breastmilk.  It lowers the chance of the baby being obese later in life.  The IQs are higher in babies that were fed breastmilk (Just a few points, but it is still cool.). I have severe allergies which gives my baby a 75% chance of having allergies too.  Breastmilk lowers that some.  A lot of babies that are fed breastmilk are sick less often than formula fed babies.  

Breastmilk is free.  This is a very big thing for us as we don't have a lot of money.  And it lowers my risk of getting breast cancer.  Breast cancer runs in my family and it is a real concern and fear of mine.  Plus, there is a chance that it will help me lose weight.
I'm also looking forward to the bond that breastfeeding brings.  

Any amount of breastmilk benefits the baby. So if you start and change to formula you still gave the baby the best start he/she could possibly have.  Remember to make the decision based on what you want and not on anything else.  If you want to breastfeed that is wonderful.  If you want to feed formula that is wonderful.

[kcooper]

Thanks for your replies!  I never went to church before I met my husband, and then I joined a mom's group there that meets once a week when I had my first and boy do they make you feel odd if you're not breastfeeding!  I've wanted to try it, but I hear so many horror stories and stories of pain and people giving up, but then there are the occasional moms on baby story that seem to get it alright.  I feel like I need to at least give it a shot, but my husband doesn't think I should now.  When I was pregnant with my first he talked about breastfeeding ALL the time and I was young and didn't think I wanted to, but now after having my 2 boys I am thinking I missed something.

Oh yeah, another question I wanted to ask about is about your breasts leaking or spraying in general and during sex if you breastfeed.  Is this common, what do you do to prevent it?  Do you have to wear a bra/shirt when having sex so you don't spray or leak on your hubby?

[kcooper]

Thanks misseltoe for your great response.  I really appreciate the time you took to give us your opinion.  Bonding is the best thing that I wish to get out of breastfeeding with my baby.  My boys are perfectly healthy, have not been sick once in their lives, no allergies, no sleeping problems, nothing I can name.  I do not know how accurate those statistics are, coming from a large family that was not breastfed, I have thin/athletic siblings and myself and very smart.  My husband, also coming from a large family, but a breastfed family, have more obese siblings and some not so bright.  

I agree that breastfeeding must be the best start you can offer a baby, why else would we be built to make milk and feed/nurture our babies that way?  

Thanks for all of your help!  And good luck to you when your baby arrives, I hope you are very successful and things happen naturally and easily for you.

[misseltoe]

Leaking/spraying breasts during sex is pretty common from everything I've read.  Not every woman has it happen, and I think that for a lot of women it stops after a certain point. But for some unfortunate women it does mean wearing a bra/shirt during sex.  There is nothing that you can do to stop it.  I think it is just one of those things that either happens or doesn't happen and if it does happen you have to live with it.

No-one in my family or my husband's family breastfed.  My Mom is super supportive, but my MIL is not.  Though, I don't talk to her about it.  Before I was pregnant she made a lot of comments about breastfeeding though.  She is one of those people that only cares about her opinion and nothing else.  I could show her proof that breastfeeding is best (I once pointed out to her how even the formula commercials have to put "breast is best", and it was for a reason -- she didn't care) and she still wouldn't change her mind.  She thinks it is disgusting and that there are no benefits to it whatsoever.  It does make me a little nervous that I have no family other than my husband to help me.  (My Mom lives 2,000 miles away.)  My friends don't have kids so I can't get help or advice from them either.  I'm going to be taking a breastfeeding class and taking my husband with me.  He will be my main support, and I'm sure I will need it as most women do have difficult days in the beginning.  

If you do breastfeed it will be nice for you to have women to help you if you have problems with your latch, and the like.  I envy that!

I hope your husband becomes supportive because it seems that support at home is really what helps the most.  

If you do decide to give formula don't feel guilty.  It's nice that you are in such a probreastfeeding enviroment (as it can be hard to find support for breastfeeding in many areas) but don't let anyone make you feel bad for any decision you make.

[lib and jrs mom]

i breastfed both of my children and plan on doing it with this one (i am 32wk4d preg).  i am very glad i did.  i gave my first both formula and breastmilk, but my second never had any formula and i am so glad.  i'm sure we saved a couple thousand dollars in formula.
1.it does hurt for a little while and is uncomfortable, but after about 2wks it's something that isn't so bothersome.  also, there are some products, like lansinol (sp) that helps with the nipple tenderness and chaffing.
2.my dh, who was strictly breastfed, slept through the night practically since we brought him home from the hospital.  my sister, who bottlefed both of her children, was jealous that i had to wake my him through the night to get him to eat because i would be uncomfortable.  
3.i quit breastfeeding my dd at 16 months and my ds at 12 months (mainly because he was a biter and his teeth were coming in.)  but even if you do it for just 3 months it can make a world of difference.  it brought a closeness to my children.  also, the antibodies you give them in just that little bit of time are important.  neither of my children ever had ear infections either.
4.i never had an issue with constipation, i'm sure you've heard breastfed babies tend to have more loose stools.  neither ever really spit up because they didn't suck down all the air.  i would tell anyone who considered it it's worth a try, even if you choose to supplement with formula.  i worked full time after my ds was born and managed to pump enough for dh to feed him (heck, he's 33lbs now and 20 months old not fat, just stalky).  again, the money you save is amazing.

[misseltoe]

Breastfeeding just lowers the risk some, it doesn't take it away.  I have severe allergies, many health problems, a weak immune system, weight issues, etc.  I don't blame these problems on the fact that I was formula fed, though maybe the problems would have been less severe if  I had been breastfed.  There is no way to know.  Just as there are plenty of breastfed babies that get tons of ear infections, etc.  

I hope I have an easy time of it too.  I really do!

[lib and jrs mom]

sorry, in the response to question #2 i meant ds (not dh).
as for the question about leaking, in the beginning it was pretty bad for me (remember everyone's different) but after i was able to get the kids on a feeding schedule which took about 1 month, it wasn't so bad.  i never really had to wear a bra during sex as i, again, had the leaking pretty much controlled my 1 month and sex is a nono til 6wks after baby's born.  occasionally there was some leakage but dh didn't care because he had to wait that 6wks :) never really anything major though.

[Agiesmom]

1)Is it really as bad and painful as all the horror stories you hear about from other mothers? Is it really hard to do and does it always hurt, or only the first few times?

It can hurt if the baby isn't really latched on.  I am very sensitive and thought it would be too uncomfortable, but once they latch on, it's a very different feeling (like nothing I've ever experienced before--I will now know if my next baby is latched on or not).  If they're latched on, it isn't painful or uncomfortable.  I highly recommend contacting La Leche League--I'm sure they can send someone to help you right in the hospital or you can go to a meeting.  I took the word of the nurse in the hospital that my baby was latched on and he wasn't.

2) Do breastfed babies sleep through the night ever, or are you always going to be doomed to get up in the middle of the night and early morning hours to feed?

Mine got up quite a bit, but he did even when he stopped nursing.  Think it was just him and not the fact that he was nursing.

3) What age do you stop breastfeeding? Do you ever give formula?

I let him stop on his own and that happened right after he started to walk...he was too busy to nurse!

4) What good things can you say about breastfeeding?

It was a very sweet, bonding experience and easy (no boiling rubber nipples, mixing formula, sterilizing bottles, etc.--do people still do that nowadays?)

Good luck in your decision!

[momof3rugratz]

I can help here... I have 3 boys all BF and fine, but I will not put anyone down for choosing to formula feed. It is a personal choice.

I am the only one in my family to BF and I will say I loved every min. I stopped when my kids got to be about 9 months to 11 months , but then all I had to do was go to the freezer and get the milk I stalked up on. It lasted till 14 months for all 3. I lost my pregnancy weight fast because I did BF. During sex yes I did leak  and spray, but we agreed if it happend one of us would put presser on the nipples until it stopped and during it all we did not let it bother us. It is a natural thing. DH feels that I am giving his boys natures best and if it interfers with the romatic part then it is a small price to pay. So far knock on wood it never caused an issue. We did save like 200 a month because we noticed my sister spent that much on formula alone. Also if you are uncomfortable in public BF then go ahead and pump and feed or formula feed. If you choose to BF before leaving the hospital tell them you want to speak to the BF supervisor or the best lactation consultate they have and just get your list out all all the ? you need to that what they are there for. Also make sure they watch you BF so you can know the right way to latch the baby on. It will limit andy amount of discomfort you will have. Yes BF is painful I say the first few days but not only for the breast but it contracts your uterus and causes the bleeding to be lower and end sooner and shrinking the uterus will help ya get the figure back. I was unusual I could fill 2 8oz bottles in 5 min but some could not so do not stress if pumping isnt for you. I am sure your Boys are happy and health and where formula feed. BF is your choose so I say do what ever will make you happy.

I hope I gave you the answers you asked for. If ya need more help feel free to ask ***@****

[happybaby23]

I tried with my first child and it never worked.  I decided to try again with my second and had much more success.

1.  I never had any pain.  She latched on the first time with no problems.  Latching correctly is definately key.

2.  She didn't sleep through the night until a month after I switched to exclusively formula feeding.

3.  I stopped when she was 2 months old because my milk supply went really low and we both became very frustrated.  (It turned out that I got pregnant again even though we were using protection so don't use it as a form of birth control).

4.  I enjoyed it even though it was very tiring.  I wish I could have done it longer.  

Best of luck with whatever you decide!

[HIS GIFT TO US]

I bf ds for 8mo, gave him a bottle of formula a day when he was 6mo, bf the rest of the time.

Soreness gets better as time goes by :)(for me by 9days or so)

100% worth it my ds was born early, didn't get his 1st cold til he was 13mo :)Very Healthy (not even ear infections or allergies)

I Lost weight btw 6-8wks after birth, back in my reg clothes :)

He didn't sleep all night til he was close to 18mo, but all babies are different, many ladies have em that sleep most of the night :)

If you decide to bf & ever get to feeling like you are a 24/7 buffet :) LOL just buy a breast pump so someone else can feed baby.

Didn't follow the rules for nipple confusin (SP)tried giving him a bottle of bm around 5 days old, took a few tries but he always was good w/ boob or the bottle of bm.

Also if your does not latch on right away don't give up he or she will get the hang of it in no time :) & be sooo chunky with fat rolls :)

[girlybuff]

Hi there.  I just had my first child 2 weeks ago and I am breastfeeding.
It was difficult at first.  She didn't take to it very easily but once she got started she loves it.
Yes, it's painful but it gets better.  The first few sucks are still a bit painful though but it does get better and there are quite a few products that can ease the discomfort.  
I plan on doing it for at least 6 months.
My baby was jaundie (yellow) when I left the hospital so they wanted me to supplement with formula.  As soon as I got the go ahead to stop the formula I did but it's not necessary.  You cacn give the formula in the night if you want to or you can do like I am and pump for the middle of the night feedings.
I love it.  It's amazing to me that I can sustain a life with what my body is producing and I love the closeness it brings to our new relationship.  I love her holding on to me and I love her looking at me even though she can only see shadows at this time.
It's a very personal decision.  You're not less of a mother if you don't breast feed but if you can, I would definitely recommend it.
It's my favorite thing to do even at 3am without any prior sleep.
Oh and at 2 weeks old she is sleeping 3-4 hours at time whichc is a bing difference from the 1 1/2 hours in the very first days so I know it will get better.
Good luck with whatever you decide!

[kcooper]

Hi Everyone!

Thanks for all of the great responses!  I am definately going to give BF a try this time around!  I am really excited about it and after telling my hubby about all the money we'll save, he's for it as well.  

I leaked so much until my milk dried up, it was crazy how much I was making!  I had my bras full of nursing pads in each cup and had to change them as often as I went to the bathroom!  At 4-5 months pregnant I started leaking that colustrum or whatever it is, so I definately should give it a try.

HaHa! And no, I don't think many ppl boil the nipples and mix the formula and all that stuff anymore.  We've always put ours in the dishwasher and we buy the already made formula in big cases at BJs (so expensive!), so it will be pleasant to have less dishes and a little more money for all the diapers we're going to need!  Hopefully my 2 year old can be potty trained by the time the new baby comes and I won't have to have 3 in diapers at one time!  

Our hopsital does have breastfeeding classes for mothers that are learning, so I am going to talk to my doctor about doing that with the baby when he/she (hopefully she) is born.  I am really excited about it and ready to give it a shot.  I take pain really well, I had no problem with either pregnancy, labor or delivery.  I think I'm a baby making machine, so I should be able to handle BF for sure.  

Thanks again everyone!

[momof3rugratz]

I think you should BF just to afford 3 in diapers. WOW girl you have your handsfull, but it is a blessing :) Have ya thought about about using cloth diapers on the new one. I never have but I have 3 boys already and with another on the way (hoping girl) I need to really pinch the pennies and fold the dollars. I might give it a try..

[kcooper]

No, my husband and I are just too grossed out by the idea of using cloth diapers, plus we both hate laundry so much and with all these little ones there is already a ton to do!  We like the fact that we can throw out those messy sloppy diapers when they are done since our boys seem to be huge crappers!  They go all the time it seems and when one goes, they both go! LOL

Another question about BF, what about during the summer time when you go to a pool or beach?  I spent a good part of this past summer at Cape Cod cause we love the ocean and so do the boys (they eat so much sand!) and then my friend lives on a lake 10 minutes from me so we were there on weekends a lot.  What do you do when you wear a baithing suit if you leak/spray milk?  Do they make special pads that you can wear with your baithing suit that are okay in the water or do you just have to continually change them?  Too bad there are no tampon equivallents here!  I was just thinking about it last night cause I am due in March and that means it will be summer around the corner and I love to be out by the water.

[momof3rugratz]

Actually by the time summer gets there your milk wont leak like you think. I also leak at 4 months pregnant so I know what ya mean. Usually about 4-6 months in to BF the milk is like a soldier and you are in command :) You really wont need the pads if you do try the gauze that you can use for boobs that are waterproof. My son who was born in May nursed and for some reason as long as I did not go in the jacuzze my boobs did not leak. I also made darn sure I nursed good before I went outside for a swim. Then I know I am not to full.

If you how the milk which I am thinking you will because you do leak alot get the Avent hand pump and use it and pump and then give the bottle in milk. WIth my first I did not like to nurse in public because the blanket was so darn hot. it was 115 in CA. So I figured wow I would pump and feed and if I had to I would go to the truck crank the AC and nurse if I had to. I will swear by the Avent ISIS pump. I was not lucky to get the electric pumps to work for me or any other hand pumps, but the Avent has this little flower insert and it sort of messages the breast while you pump and I got tons tons tons. I think of it like when a kitten is nursing how they take there paws and need the mom that is how it is and milk will flow really good.

[mumwith#4]

I believe with breastfeeding that you need to be both confident in yourself and your abilitiy to breastfeed (as that's what they're there for!) and you have to persist because you want to breastfeed!

I have 3 children all breastfed and am 11 weeks with #4 - of course I intend to breastfeed this one too.

I must admit that my first was most difficult because I was not confident that I could do it properly and was wondering why she was always hungry - was it because I didn't have enough etc (mothers always feel this guilt!). Anyhow, consequently I supplemented with a bottle of formula with her and although I breastfed her for six months before she weaned herself off I think the introduction of the bottle and formula meant that I already was weaning her and my milk supply did not build up as it should.

With my second he refused to take a bottle or dummy so I had no choice but to breastfeed and was MUCH more confident. I was able to breastfeed for nearly 12 months with him and never doubted my milk supply! Same exactly with my third (another boy).

Yes it hurts starting breastfeeding - it did everytime I breastfed each baby for the first couple of weeks. I used to say it made my 'toes curl' when they first latch on!!! But it truely does gets better why else would so many women do it and do it for so long and so successfully! Don't let it stop you if that's what you really want to do...it's so rewarding - the bonding with your baby is amazing and irreplacable and I don't care what anyone says breastmilk is free - you don't have to pre-pack it or make it up and it's the best thing you can put in a baby's mouth!

Having said that though, I have NO PROBLEM with people choosing to bottle feed - you have to do what's best for you and the baby and as long as the mother is happy and the baby is well fed then that's what's really important. I don't want to start a debate over this issue. I love to be advocate for breastfeeding but I understand that the mother's and baby's needs are far more important than just pushing someone into doing something because it worked for me, you know?

Give it a go...at least you can say you tried it with one of your children and then you can offer advice like we have to other mother's about your experience!!! Good luck!

[momof3rugratz]

I think you said it all well.. :)

[kcooper]

Thanks for the confidence!  I am definately giving it a try this time around, I even had a dream about it last night! LOL I talked to my mom about it (mother of 4) and my grandmother (mother of 9), neither of them ever tried it nor are they too supportive on it, but I want to do it and if it doesn't work out, at least I tried, but I am confident it's going to work out just great for us.  

Thanks again everyone!