Vaginal Delivery FEAR

I have around 2 more months before our baby boy is here. As time goes by, I worry more about having a vaginal delivery. Not only the labor pain scares me (although I am planning on getting an epidural), the pushing and the vaginal tear really freak me out. Also I have been reading all these horror stories about how some people don't heal right down there and it's very painful. This is my first child so I donno what to expect. I am so close to asking for a C/S if it's offered. I know that C/S should be done only if needed, but I'm just so scared. I also know that the healing process is longer when you have a C/S, but I'd rather be sore around my belly than down there. Like I said, I donno much about either one other than what I have read or heard. Please give me some advice.

[peekawho]

The medical risks to you are much higher with a C/Section.  Not to say that they aren't safe, but a C/S is still major surgery, with all the risks that can accompany any abdominal surgery. You will have more difficulty moving around after a C/S, will have a scar, and in general have a much longer recovery.

The tears the other ladies are describing are not common.  They do happen occasionally, but they are not the norm.  

Talk with your doctor about your fears.  

[mommy2b-nanny]

Thank you peek. I've never been able to deal well with pain. It really freaks me out. I have my OB appt. this coming thursday. I will bring it up.

[kjbutcher]

I think it is pretty natural to be scared about this.  I have to say that it was not nearly as scary as I thought it was going to be.  I felt so good afterward.  I had a second degree tear and it really wasnt horrible.  It healed up in less than 2 weeks.  it is tender, but not bad.  it is a great experience that you will be proud about.

[kjbutcher]

also, the delivery is actually a lot less painful than labor.

[Renogirl]

I can totally understand your fears - this is our first baby - we are due at the end of February - and the idea of labor and delivery is scary to me as well - but I think its the unknown - that and the thought that my ob's office is a group practice and I only see the one doctor - if she isn't on call - some stranger may be delivering our baby - I DO NOT want a c/s if I can avoid it - I want to be able to move around after and enjoy the baby as much as possible - I DO want an epidural and I offered to let them start it at my eight month appt - lol - I think our bodies know what to do even if we don't - talk to your doctor about your fears - it really does help and its nothing that they haven't heard already - we'll both be fine and we'll have beautiful babies to show for our work!!!

[cutiemama]

I had to vag deliveries. I tore quite a bit with my first and not at all with my 2nd. The recovery with my 1st was a bit hard (some pain in the epidural site and some pain in the vajayjay area) but apparently nothing in contast to a C/S and literally no pain at all with my 2nd. To me the only benfit of a C/S is not having to endure labor which can be long for some of us gals (32 hrs & 18 hrs for me) but that's about the only benefit.

[Van73]

I've had a C-sect and a VBAC.  I was in my 20s, so my recovery was quicker.  Considering, I'd opt for the Vaginal any day!  The recovery period is much better than the Csect, less limitations.  

[mommy2b-nanny]

Thank you guys for your advice. I agree that vaginal delivery could have a shorter recovery time. I just hope that I can endure the pain and get it over with quick. :)

[Me2mommy2b]

It's not that bad as it may sound sometimes.  I'm the opposite.  I absolutely am scared of c-sec (not that I need one just yet).  I hope I never need it.  I had one vaginal and it was ok.  Good luck.

[ponderousmom]

all 6 of mine were vaginal--and it really isnt that bad--i had an epidural with the first one, and i had alot of tearing, but i went totally natural with the rest--they came too fast--and i didnt even have to get one stitch.  as long as you try to relax--i know that sounds stupid--but its a natural thing, and your body will take care of it.  the more you learn the less you fear!!!

[Crritter]

It's okay to be scared, it is a scary and exciting time.  I was worried, did get an epidural on day 2 of my induction and my water had been broken for a few hours at that time.  I did tear badly, but with the epidural, pushed just fine and didn't feel a thing.  Once you are in labor, you are more preoccupied with the excitement and the contractions, the tearing not so much, and even then they will stitch you if you need it.  I have many friends that never needed stitches or just had a couple, only know 2 others who had bad tearing too.  You'll be okay, just talk with your Dr. about your worries, it's totally normal to feel this way, congrats and good luck!

[LosingMyMindInGA]

From my experiences I would be more afraid of a c-section than vaginal if I were you.  I have had:
a c-section
vbac w/ episiotomy & epidural
vbac w/epidural & no episiotomy or tearing
vbac w/ no drugs, no cuts, no tears

Honestly.  The c-section was my worst recovery.  My best recovery came with the completely natural...no drugs.  

With the episiotomy, I was scared of it too, TOTALLY freaked me out, BUT it wasn't NEARLY as bad as I thought.  The stitches dissolved rather quickly.  It was a bit tender for awhile, but not too bad.  It's completely normal to have these fears.  Just keep in mind that women have been doing this for thousands of years :)  You'll be just fine!  Besides, when the time comes and you go into active labor you'll be so excited at the prospect of seeing your new little one that everything else will take back burner :)

[mommy2b-nanny]

Thank you so much guys. You made me feel a lot better about this. Can't wait to see my little guy!!

[jenstam]

I have had five children, three of them completely natural and all of them without one single tear or stitch. I'm sure you will be fine. I've heard c-sections are much worse. Like others said, it's okay to be scared, too!

[KellyTexas]

OK guys - now you have me scared about my C-section!!  :)  Unfortunately I have no choice with Mr Baby B being breech and having NO room to turn now.  I wonder if we can rethink this and make him turn somehow!!  :)   Just kidding - I will take them anyway I can get them here safely.  I'm more afraid of the dang spinal than anything!!  My first was a VBAC, so mommy2b-nanny - hang in there and you will be fine - like they said, all the excitement will take your mind off the scary part!!  Good luck!!

[Pearl99]

Have your ob's not had you enroll in a childbirth and delivery class?  They teach you all about it,then you won't be scared and you'll know how to bring your baby into the world without surgery, drugs, needles, stitches, etc.(cheaper too!)  Yes, it will still hurt, but it's so much better for the baby. Once you know  how others have done it, it may not seem so scarey-I like the idea of rethinking the "pain" as more of a stretching, opening sensation (have had 3 naturally, bit of tearing on first). There are videos you can buy/rent if there's not classes wher e you live. Take charge, even if your docs don't encourage it.

[LosingMyMindInGA]

My c-section wasn't bad at all.  I recovered much easier and faster from my vaginal deliveries but the c-section wasn't all that bad.  It was the first major surgery I'd ever had.  Talk about nervous but it all worked out.  The worst part was 2 days after sitting in my hospital bed talking to my mom and best friend who kept making me laugh.  I asked them to stop so when they tried to get straight faced they looked so stupid that I busted out laughing so hard I actually popped a staple loose :)  It hurt but it sure was funny!!!!