"Natural childbirth" 10 months ago -- Should the appearance of my inner vulva, urethra, vaginal opening be so different compared to before the birth? The urethra is about 1/2 inch higher up. The vaginal opening, which used to be a small (0 - 1cm) opening which I could clench shut at will, now takes up the entire cleft, no matter how many Kegels I do.
Basically, it looks like what used to be my inner vulva were completely ripped away by the baby. The inside of my vagina is now the outside: bulges of flesh covered with mucus membranes. What happened to the skin that used to be there? There is a lot more mess in my panties. Water gets in when I bathe (seems unhygienic).
I have never seen this discussed in any website. Is this what is meant by the vague items like "you may lose some vaginal muscle tone"??!! More like had my privates replaced by completely different ones. I feel freaked out and alienated from my body now.
I did have what the doc described as a 2nd degree tear, which she stitched and okayed at the checkup later.
Not every woman has a loose vagina after delivering. I don't.. but in saying that i was extremely tight before and my partner use to tear me all the time and rip the tip of his manhood . After my 1st child i was at a "good" tightness and he prefers it this way because apparently i was far to tight before. Before you say hes lying I can tell you that hes not hes far to selfish to lie. I choose not to have a c section because i didn't want that hideous scar or my muscles to be cut, not because i'm some sort of hippy who thought natural birth would bring me closer to my child. I don't look like the typical "mummy" or have the mummy body as most mothers get as i looked after my self extremely well because appearance means something to me. Any way if your unhappy with your wife's appearance down there or wherever, you need to tell her as gently as possible. Instead of paying for escorts save the money and give your wife the ultimate present of surgery. Pay for her to get a new vagina, new **** and tummy tuck etc BUTTTT tell her if you WANT surgery youl pay for it DO NOT say you SHOULD get surgery. I bet you she would take you up on your offer and youd get a new wife so to say. its a win win situation
I'm not "twisting" any statistics. I don't know how things are in California, but here in Washington the OBGYN makes the call on how the baby is delivered. (Did I say the nurse made that decision???) If c-sections were truly safer than vaginal deliveries I'm sure my OB would offer all of her patients c-sections. My own OB delivered her own children vaginally and suffered tearing, and she is well aware of the risks of childbirth. By all means women should make that decision if they are given options. But do you think insurance companies are going to pay for unnecessary elective c-sections in a country whose medical decisions are commonly driven by the insurance companies?
The current trend in this country is to reduce the amount of c-sections being performed.
As for your justification that the vagina must not be intended for delivering babies because it tears. . . I can't believe what ignorant reasoning that is. The vagina tears for a multitude of reasons. The number one reason women died in childbirth before modern medicine was because of obstructed childbirth. I myself would have suffered that same fate had my child not been delivered via vacuum delivery. Because the vagina did not have time to stretch, it tore. Midwives and OB's have techniques to stretch the tissues during delivery to prevent tearing if at all possible. Tissues are also meant to heal.
I'm sorry to all of the women on this message board who have suffered disfigurement and are suffering because of this. It is truly unfair. Sadder yet are the husbands whose sex lives are more important than their wives' feelings and the fact that they have a healthy child and wife. I count myself truly blessed that my husband is so grateful to have a healthy baby and healthy wife post delivery. God bless you ladies who are dealing with these issues! You are not alone.
good for you.. it is my dream to have c section ,, im pregnant (40 weeks) with my first baby.,., and always i was scared to have baby with no c section.. but my doctor not approve that ,,:(((( they told me hospital and insurance not doing that with no reason.. so i have no choice.. im 7 days late from my due date and im goin to the hospital tomw .. they going to use drug first,, i hope nothing happen and thet take me for c section...
From my experience some ObGyn's are more modernized and will ask a woman if she would like to deliver her baby via C-section vs vaginally and will adher to her choice. I live in Ohio and it is my experience that if you have a doctor thats main concern is based upon medical neccessity over personal preference than no, they will not give you a choice but, if you have a doctor that realizes that a persons choice is just as important in medicine as any other aspect than yes they will.
oh my gosh, how can any women say that its the "easy way or the hard way" to a vaginal birth or c-section!!!! I am a proud mother of two beautiful girls that had both forms of deliveries i am appouled by the comparision we are all judged on.. may every child be a blessing and a major blessing to all the mothers and fathers alive to cherish them no matter how they came, how your body is left!! To the families that have lost a child through birth and the children who have lost a mother through childbirth.
I'm not sure what is going on with some of the other mothers. All I can do is share my experience. I birthed both of my babies naturally, 8 and 9 lbs, and my vagina is fine. It was out of shape for about 6 months but I kegeled and it feels the same now. Tightness doesn't have much to do with skin and stretching, IMO. I think it has more to do with muscle tone. I am VERY active and was throughout my pregnancies. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I birthed squatting, so the pressure was off my perineum? Maybe these women where relying on skin tightness pre-birth and didn't have good muscle tone in the first place?
I just had my first C section Jan 16th after delivering 12 and 13 years ago vaginally and I have to say..Why do people keep saying the scar is tiny? I have a 6 inch scar now under my tummy and I don't think that is small.. Also one side of it feels kinda lumpy, when I have my 6 week checkup I am going to see is it might have a hernia in it.Also having that C section was a pretty awful experience..I was strapped to a table, could not move my lower body and almost had a panic attack (I had a spinal and was awake)..and it was difficult to move after the surgery to get out of bed (and the nurses kept making me get out of bed and take care of the baby)..I could not sleep in my bed at home for 2.5 weeks after because It hurt to move. My tummy is still rather large due to the fact I did not push and my uterine contractions were not as strong. I do not feel cheated out of the birth experience (I always hear women say this on other boards) but I have to say recovery from my two vaginal deliveries was easier and had less complications (even with the episiotomy)..I'm on the fence with this one ladies--I think you have to makethe best decision for yourself about how to give birth, both ways have their benefits and drawbacks. On the plus side I did get my tubal, and I found out I was only born with one ovary--there was no other tube to tie.
I cant believe this thread, I had a 9 pound 2 ounce baby boy and although i do look different down there it has definitely not changed my sex life and my DP is always satisfied. Giving birth is scary no matter what but c sections are major surgery, you are getting cut open and if it was low risk then there would always be a choice but in Australia its a last resort and i do mean a very very last resort. Dont justify your cheating by blaming natural childbirth,wake up to yourself because if you had been witnessed to someone dying due to a c section then maybe you wouldnt be so quick to tell everyone how horrible a natural birth is, now those 2 little boys are growing up without a mother. There are so many more complications when having a c-section. Please dont scare other women. I just think its so selfish of the men complaining when all they have to do is stand there while their wives do all the hard work. I hope those men who are cheating on their wives for this reason enjoy the Karma that is for sure coming their way!!!
I wish to god I had taken the doctors advice and had a c-section, I had been induced with my twins because of pre-eclampsia and it was a long drawn out labour. At several times I was urged to consider a section but I kept refusing as I was determined to have a 'natural birth'
Both babies got stuck, 2nd one pulled out by feet as was breech, ended up having an episiotomy (cut) and almost died from internal bleeding.
Now what I have been left with resembles a large hole with tissue looking like minced meat!!! part of my hymen even hangs out, not to mention you could park a truck up there! I tried to do exercises which I couldn't do for quite a while but the damage is permanent.
I have consulted my GP who advises she can see clearly what I am talking about but that it would be classed as cosmetic and therefore couldn't do anything.
So short of coming into some money like winning the lottery there is no way I would be able to afford to have it corrected and not that I have much of a sex life but when I do it's not very satisfactory.
On the upside I know it will never look worse as if in the future I have another baby I need to have a c-section on medical grounds :)
WOw dont know here you all from but a C-section is not a choice you get to make here in Australia, the only way you get one is if it is needed, the reason that you dont get a choice is because it is dangerous and carries far more risks and the recovery time is longer and damn scary so please dont scare all these other women, no need to spread so much hate towards women who had a natural birth as i never had a choice, all i wanted was a healthy baby,There are risks either way. I dont look the same down there but satisfy my man just as much as i did b4 and i would tell my DP to go screw himself if he ever had something bad to say about anything in that area!,if you have a bad sex life because of a natural then seek help.
What an amazing way with words you have! Congrats on doing things your way hun, need to be more people confident enough to do it! I had natural, gluten free childbirth which luckily(after initially swelling to the point of nothing going in!) left my "hoo ha" the same as before but good God it hurt like hell and c-section seems a much nicer way of doing things. x
When all of you disrespect natural do you mean vaginally or without interventions at natures pace-natural? Because they are very different and do very different things to our bodies. No natural birthing mom convinced any of you, you convinced yourselves, dont displace the blame. these our our own decisions to make.
Too much hate here for women who make educated decisions about birth either for c-section or natural birth. There are risk with both and smart women look into both sides. Natural child birth women are not like ones who believe in bigfoot or are trying to spread misinformation. C-section choosers are NOT trying to just be vain and dont want whats best for their children. Most women are making educated choices and should be supported.
I had a all natural home birth and nothing is wrong with my vagina. But I was able to labor in a relaxed state in my own home and was given all the time I needed and no interventions like pitocin to make things speed up too quickly. I had a wonderful midwife who helped me not to tear and I labored for 36hrs.
i almost has a C because i was not dialateing but then i started to dialate i was in the last part of labor for only an hour and i was only pushing for about 20 mins before she crowned it hurt varry badly even with the epadurl as soon as she crowned it hurt i dont know if i would of rather had a c because im alrady doing as much as i was before i had her if i would of had a c i may not of had the energy the next day to go runing around i dont think i would of changed the way i would of deleverd i did not tare or have to have stitches at all but i know that it is differnt down there but i think it is to soon to tell how tight i will be because it is tight now and i still have 2 more weeks to heal before my 6 week check up
Having a Natural child birth is not a "hippy" thing, I can't believe how ignorant people can be. Having a c-section is easier in someways but if you are very concerened about the looks, let me tell you these.
I had a C for my first boy and going to have a VBAC for my second within a month.
After C what happens is: the scar is not so "tiny" it can look small to you from the outside but it's bigger in your inside. You can say so what? So you are cut from 7 layers of your body, widely, it takes a very long time to heal from all the layers and you permanently lose your lower abdominal muscles. You cannot feel some part of your tummy anymore, you cannot do pilates or yoga or any kind of physical activity to get you tummy to shape. Your tummy looks weird, like it's flat below the scar and then suddenly there's a "love handles" like bump above the scar area, and you feel a jelly-like substance in your tummy for a very long time--like a year or more. So you have that bumpy, jelly looking tummy which you can never kontrol your muscles to firm anymore. Also please note that the muscle that you have down there is the same long muscle that you have under your tummy. When it's widely cut once, you may not be able to perform kegels or even feel kegel. I would still go with the natural birth, as in the name "natural", and let my body heal itself quicker by all means, phisically and emotionally, instead of "interrupting" a natural process and leave the body with a major abdominal surgery to heal.
By the way, I am from Istanbul and here, in Turkey, C-section rate is almost 60%. Because doctors try to force every pregnant to have a c-section because it's very easier for them to schedule their lives, no urgent phone calls in the middle of the night, no 12-hour birth sessions to take care of and no sweating while trying to have the baby born naturally. They all give you the appointment at 7:00 in the morning when you're in your 38th or 39th week, in order to prevent to baby to go into the birthing channel- and cut the mother and take the child out very easliy. Here there are organisations and groups who are trying to tell mothers that they should go V if they have no health problems..etc. I cannot believe you are trying to do the opposite over there!
I assume it would be easier for you, since you teach pilates and yoga, and the people who are doing it as a lifestyle or for a long time would gain their strength back but for a regular person who doesn't have very firm muscle tone is not easy, for some not available forever since you don't really feel some parts of your muscle. Some say it may come back after a couple of years but most may not. You can understand when I mean that, when you thouch the c-section scar you won't feel it, because your nerves are cut horizontally, and when the nerves are cut horizontially it is not very easy/possible to go back to how it was before. The abdominal muscle structure is vertical, so "parting it" would mean doing a vertical cut, which takes longer time to heal and my rip in your second-third pregnancy ..so all over the world, a horizontal cut is considered to be much safer.
And also I'm not hippy, there's not a hippy or mystical thing about giving birth to my opinion, I agree, but why I want this is, in my C section, I had epidural c-section which was very easy actually, but what happens is, again, c-section is a very major abdominal surgery, it may have many complications, may take a very long time to heal, takes a very long time to go back to the life before birth. It may be easier on some people, it may not be easier on some people. If you're not doing epidural C-section, possible side effects and even not known yet effects of anesthesia is well knownn, you can google it. Remember if you had a full anesthesia when you wake up you do something or say something that you don't remember, or you cannot control your emotions..etc.
Remember that a C-section is an interruption to the process. I'm not talking about a "mystical" thing, It interrupts the natural process so your body cannot understand it gave birth fir a long time, it doesn't start the right hormones to go off in your body which will make your postpartum depression less or even eliminate, which will start your uterus to start to go back to normal size, which will start to burn your baby fat actually and which would renew a woman's cells and system. It's a proven scientific fact. That's why you are left with a big, swollen, cut tummy for a long time after c-section.
The only thing to worry about V birth is the defections that may occur, but if your baby is not big, if you did your kegels before, if you did your perine massages and don't push your baby so hard, try to relax and let the baby go out smoothly, your chances to get not harmed vagina is almost the same as c-section. Well also as a woman who has the simmilar concerns, I can tell having a sexy body without a cut and surgery is much better than having a little change in the looks of your V. Because you can work on your body to make it sexier, you can try your fantasies with your husband/boyfriend that you never tried before, you can -I don't know- do something new in your sex life to get the fire back on. I don't believe it's totally up to the tightness of your V when it comes to men, you can also have a husband stitch as well! which most of my friends say it even got better after delivery because of the stitch..
Anyway, I had a C-section, will have a VBAC this time because I don't want to be cut out twice, and here, in Europe also, Vbirth is considered to be best way for women and C-sections are considered as a "third world kind of thing" for ignorant moms--that's the view over here.
For you to say that some men choose to cheat after their wives deliver vaginally, and offer this as an argument in support of c-section, is outragous. Because my vaginal area looks different is NO excuse to betray a marriage or committed relationship. My husband of 25 years looks different now, without having squeezed anything out of his penis, and I have never entertained the idea that I need to cheat. Our sex life is more than animal-like stimulation. What makes us different from animals is that we can choose to adhear to higher values. It is my husband's mind and charm that turn me on, then, the motion in the ocean- not the size of the boat. And trust me, he makes waves....... So for those who cheat because their woman looks or feels different, shame on you!
Some may not be doing kegals correctly or have a more severe issue that kegals won't correct. 4 weeks after giving birth to my 3rd child naturally.. my vagina is back to its normal tight and satisfying condition. I also did and still do kegals regularly. My body has always been able to "bounce back" quickly, including my weight, breasts and having no stretch marks.. Im pretty sure its hereditary as my Mom was the same way. All the men who posted..I appreciate the honesty..however how disgusting of you to cheat or divorce over a vagina! Did you vow to her or her vagina! If you really loved her for better or worse then HELP her through it with surgery or whatever it takes..be a man and stick to your promise, you walking out on her after birthing children is so pathetic I have no more words for you. Im so lucky to have a real man who would Loyally stick by my side even IF my vagina had not gone back to normal. I don't know what you all are going through, but I can only imagine and I wish you all the best of luck.
Hey ladies, I gave birth back in November, vaginally to a 9.7 pound healthy baby girl. I am only 5'1'' and 100 pounds. So you could only imagine how huge I got in the belly and what a toll it did on me down there. Before I go into details, I think we all should be proud we gave birth and my heart goes out to the ones who have lost their little babies.
I got a 2nd degree tear when I birthed my baby. I was at the naval hospital and of course they did not make sure it looked pretty down there again. I also had a huge cyst through out my pregnancy right below my urethra, so that made sex almost impossible. Anyways, I do have a little bit on the inside being a little on the outside. I don't beat myself up over it, my petite body was powerful enough to birth my daughter vaginally. I am back to being tight and kegels helped. However, I am forever different down there and that's alright. I'm alright with my stretch marks and different looking vagina. At first, it was hard and I did cry the first two months. But then I started to accept and love my body for getting me through child birth with no major issues. My husband says I'm even sexier, that my imperfections are somehow sexier in his eyes. That I'm not perfect like a barbie or wanting to get plastic surgery. My cyst ended up going away on it's own after birth (it never popped during child birth) and I have a little left over skin there. I'm not ashamed. I vaginally birthed a big baby! And men find confidence sexier than how your vagina looks after child birth. My husband flat out told me that it doesn't matter if you have stretch marks or your vagina is not the same as it was before pregnancy, as long as you feel sexy and confident, they will find you to be one hot momma. & the men who cheat on the wives or gfs after pregnancy have another thing coming their way. Karma is a b!tch.
You all have watched too much porn. Do the rest of us women a favor, quit watching porn and accept the fact that a woman's body is suppose to naturally change after birth. THIS IS NATURAL AND HOW IT IS SUPPOSE TO BE! Not those bare vaginas with no hair down there and plastic surgery. To the men who cheated, you don't deserve a wife. You don't deserve a faithful woman in your lives. You don't deserve beautiful children as you are possibly the most selfish people on earth to ruin your wife's life and your children's lives! Our vaginas changing is a part of being a woman! It's how it is suppose to be! Yes, my husband says I'm looser but he ASKS for me to make him videos of me playing with myself. THAT'S a real man, not you selfish men who cheat on the woman who loves you for all eternity.
Just wanted to let all of you poor worried women know this thread has totally been trolled... many of these posts are by the same idiot under different names, notice repeated catchphrases like "four finger queens" and how "natural childbirth" is some "hippy" nonsense about having a "mystical connection" with your child... A bunch of unhelpful, incendiary BS from someone who has their own issues...
Anyhoo, I had 2 vaginal births, the natural consequence of sex with my husband, LOL. Sex feels different, worse after the 1st, better after the 2nd. Trying to have much sex with 2 young kids is the hardest part, really! A man who does not want to have sex with a woman who has birthed children obviously needs to (a.) not impregnate a woman whom he intends to have sex with ever again (ie don't get married, duh!) and (b.) GTFO of this forum, it's not for you to whine about your pathetic inability to work out your sexual problems in your marriage.
Sheesh, people have difficulties with their sex life due to a million natural consequences of being alive, such as illness, accidents, aging, children, etc... If you are in a marriage, you work through these things, and have realistic expectations.
Ladies, unless you're married to one of the jackass dudes on this thread, you'll be fine. And if you are, your lady bits are the least of your problems! Just talk to your doctor about how to fix any pain and discomfort and stop stressing about what your vag looks like. Women who haven't even had kids hate theirs, too! (really, look it up!) We're trained as a culture to be ashamed of the appearance of our vaginas in general, unfortunately. Lets concentrate on being healthy and improving our sexual relationships; reducing anxiety about it is halfway there.
You sound exactly like me! 105 lbs and 5'4. Im 28 and had my 2nd baby 6 wks ago. I have a flat stomach, breastfeeding again, and my vagina is still tight and looks the same. You wouldnt even know i had 2 babies. No stretchmarks, nothing. Natural birth for both. Why do i want a scar and my perfect little stomach ruined for no reason? Natural is exactly how it should be, and if anyone wants to say how if they had to use devices to get the baby out, u should know that its because the way were are made to do it isnt how it should be done. We lay down...gravity is against us. Were meant to squat and push. No hole is too small for a baby, we just dont do it right. U should watch "The Business Of Being Born." It puts things into purspective. Almost made me want to do home birth. And to say anything about a man cheating because of vaginal birth is retarded. WTF are u even talking about...seriously, u need a hobby if ur even spending this much time on this thread trying to get people to do c sections. Maybe ur man cheated on u, i dunno. Theres nothing wrong with the look or the function of my vag. I had stitches from my son, and 2 with my daughter. Im only on here because i was gonna ask if anyone elses stitches fell out without dissolving, but since theres a few comments on here i just coulnt believe, i had to jump in. Its so easy to just push it out. If ur crotch is that horrible and destroyed, maybe it wasnt that pretty to start with. And who cares anyway unless ur planning on being a crotch model or porn star...seriously. why dont u have them cut ur **** out of u too while ur at it, it might ruin ur *******. And u want ur crotch to be so pretty, yet its right next to the thing that excretes ****. Who cares.
I came to this collumn on a whim, and I am glad I did. I learned a lot about the variety of women there are, the possabilities that can happen, and the many solutions that can be applied. I too, think that a healthy sex life is important(and for all the man haters out there, no sex is not "the world to me") But it is important and if you dont agree and call me a "typical man, always thinkin about sex!" Then you miss, are in denial and are an angry four fingerd queen(that was not a comment directed at you Four fingered queen I just really liked you sense of humor). Jaz, your awesome. I think that those men are wrong for cheating and it shows a lack of communication in their relationship. I learned today(another reason) why communtcation is so important.
The rate of c-sections in Iran is 70 percent as it's much easier for the doctors to schedule one and it's actually more expensive to have a natural birth as you have to pay extra to the doctor to attend you in the hospital. From my observations of people who've had a c-section, although a c-section might cause no problem the first time you have a child, it usually does the second time. Many if not most women here who have had one are either unable to conceive again or had difficulties while being pregnant with their second child. So if you consider having a bigger family and you don't have access to the best hospital in your area, this is something worth considering.
Me too! I guess this is just how post baby vajayjays looks... It's not terrible, and sex still feels good, but it's just a lot more open... Now i know what the first inch of my vaginal canal looks like... Yay!
Im very shocked to see that so many women are unhappy with their bodies and down stairs areas. You gave birth to your beautiful babies, its the most important thing you will ever have to do and is so worth it. I say if your man isnt happy with your parts and would rather cheat, your better off without them. Luckily for me i havent had any probelms. iv had one baby and my vagina pretty much went back to normal. Sometimes my hubby says im too tight that he feels uncomfortable lol. Even if my hubby wasnt happy with my body im sure he would offer to get me surgery instead of lying to me and cheating. If your cheating on your wife your cheating on your children.
So the three surgeries that I have had to repair the damage after birth still hasn't fixed the rectoceaol, cyctoceole, vaginal distention, my non existent perineum, hemmoroids, ripped cervix, vaginal prolapse, incontinance. I would have taken my chances having a c-section.
I feel like i also made a huge mistake, i was convinced i had a problem with my cervix, and my doctor cut out my hymen and stuck his hand in my vagina, to see if he could turn back my cervix. So anyway, i also feel like i have a problem that can't be corrected easily, and I don't even have a baby to make me feel better. I think some doctors don't care about your sex life at all, although an ideal husband is always a treasure.
All I can say is thanks to you (Mike_13) and the other guys who answered honestly. I am 27 years old, pregnant with my first baby, love my husband and my sex life - and am now 100% committed for an elective c-section. Actually, I just got it approved from my Dr a few minutes ago.
Thanks for the honesty (and potentially saving our marriage!)
I am going to give 100% honesty on my experience because I want to help other women, as I was curious too. I am 4 years postpartum. I gave birth vaginally, and needed some stitches, and I can honestly say, my vagina feels no different than prior to birth. However....The first 6 months after, yes, there was a difference. My vaginal muscles were weak and I could barely squeeze them. There was more problems with air getting in there, and it was less tight. No, it was not a cavernous hole that could not feel anything. There was still friction and feeling for both my husband and I (and yes we openly discussed my vagina together, and have been pretty honest about it), but it simply wasn't as tight as prior, as we both noted.
By about 1 year later on it's own ( I rarely did kegels at the time, so this was just natural healing), after the deed my husband exclaimed how tight it was, and said it was definitely back to normal. I felt it was too.
3 years later I started exercising for health (no intentions of it doing anything for my vagina) and discovered my vaginal muscles became stronger. After research, I found out all those squats I had been doing to tighten up the derriere, were, in fact doing the same for my pelvic floor muscles.
I started squeezing during intercourse from them on (I actually find during the act is the most fun way for me to kegel), and the muscles are getting stronger with time. I do not think I could squeeze even this good before child birth, so for those saying everyone who delivers vaginally, never return, that's not true. If you can get in shape and build other muscles, you can certainly build your vaginal muscles, too. Those saying a c-section does not cause any problems, yes they actually can. The chances may be slightly less, but you are still burdening the weight of a baby on your pelvic floor for an average of 40 weeks, and that can and does weaken the muscles in a lot of cases. Being overweight, or aging can do the same.
I want to add, that there is such thing as trauma to the area and complications, so I am not going to say that all women return to how they were prior, just as I won't say all women who have c-sections won't have pelvic floor issues, because neither are true. Yes, some women have complications that need therapy/surgery, and yes some women who avoided a vaginal, find themselves with a prolapse, or pelvic floor issues due to being weakened. Some women who don't even have kids can be "loose."
I hope sharing my experience can help other's get a better understanding. My biggest piece of advice is do your research and that will help greatly. I have read men's opinions, women's personal experiences...I have found just as I have said in this reply. There are vast differences in the outcomes of these situations, and both good and bad experiences with vaginal problems were brought up with both vaginal and c-section's in my research.
( I forgot to add that looks wise, it looks the same as well. The entrance has a couple of white, barely noticeable scars from the stitches, and it may look a tad more rigid, but I think it looks like a normal one, and the entrance is the size of my pinky tip when not aroused).
If a man was going to cheat on me because my vagina isn't the same after having a baby, then why be with him because he obviously doesn't really love me. That is just a ridiculous thing to risk your own life going into a major unnecessary surgery just to prevent a guy from cheating on you. If a guy's going to cheat on me, then fine, I don't want to be with him anyway.
Well I need some help. probably sounds stupid but I'm beginning to be very depressed about this. I have one child that is two, and weighed 8.1 at birth. I had no ripping or tearing ( so tge doctors said). My sex life Is great I've never had complaints, ive even been told by a man who never slept with any other woman who's had a baby that I'm tighter than any one hes been with, which makes no sense to me because ive noticed a piece that does hang out of my vagina. it is making me feel like something is wrong with me and my body. can it cause any problems? what should I do? Someone help.
I had labiaplasty a few years ago after being physically uncomfortable since I was 13. I have not had children yet and want a C-Section when I do so I don't have to redo the plastic surgery or get my clitoral hood reduced as well, which if stretched further than it is will also rub on my clothes and annoy me to no end. I'm "just right" after the surgery and don't want the risk of seeing how natural childbirth would alter that. I suffered many years of psychological problems because everytime I walked, I felt my labia rubbing against my pants. My gyno's solution: "Wear skirts/looser clothes." -DID NOT HELP! The constant annoyance often brought me to tears. Now that I had labiaplasty I dont think about "down there" anymore and feel sooo much better. For me, its not about "tightness," its about extra skin I've had which has annoyed me everytime I walked. Not everyone has this issue, and I'm sure it doesn't bother some people. I'd say, let people choose how they want to deliver. If they're vain about themselves, hopefully they'd be great mothers to their children. Why does it matter how you choose to deliver your baby? As long as your knowledgeable about risks on both sides, then go for it. The point is you want a child and hopefully are a great mom.
My friend Cassie - had a naturally delivery of a 6 lb. 8 oz. baby girl - her significant other has complained ever since that her vagina is stretched out beyond repair. She notices a HUGE difference in her pre-birth vagina and post-birth vagina. I don't know about any of you, but I love my vagina and am determined to keep her the way she is. I am having a C-section - I will Dr. shop if necessary. If the vagina was designed perfectly to flex, stretch, and snap back then why are there all these horrific stories of women's vaginas being remarkably different after child birth and never returning to "normal". I am not willing to risk my sexual pleasure for the rest of my life, or my husbands for that matter! After all, he helped in creating the baby, I want his needs to be met as well - he has some say in what happens to our future sex life & our parts. More people need to be REALLY HONEST & CANDID.
I wish I this had been here before I had my daughter. I wasn't for or against either, I just wanted a healthy baby so I left the decisions to the midwife and doctor.....HUGE mistake. These so called professionals have ruined me. My vagina looks like a freak show, I never ever want sex, I can also fit 4 fingers in my vagina and I get so much air there in there it's like it's taken up breathing as well. Not all of us were made for giving birth, all you natural birth advocates conveniently leave out that women used to die and often in childbirth. Yes women have been having babies since the beginning of time, but a lot of them used to die doing it and if it wasn't for medical intervention a lot of them still would. We're not all breeding machines and not all of us snap back into shape after having babies. A lot of us are left scarred and dysfunctional in many ways. If I had known what I was in for I would have insisted on a c-section, for me a scar isn't as big a deal as losing my sexuality, my ability to go to the bathroom properly, to exercise and the list
goes on. I certainly wish that I had never listened to all the 'don't worry, everything will go back to the way it was' ******** you natural birth people rant. Nothing has gone back to the way it was and I'm not the only one. I was very fit and not overweight at all when I got pregnant and because of the damage natural birth has caused, I am so restricted in what I can and can't do that I can't do anything the way I used to. Those kegel exercises are rubbish, they have done nothing for me. I'm scarred, my body doesn't function properly and I'm angry. It's hugely irresponsible for people to be going around saying that everything goes back to normal and that a vaginal birth is the best way to go. For some that may be the case but there are heaps of us who have been very damaged by listening to that crap.
I needed this. after looking and looking for information on whether I am going through something normal I have yet to find any information and then came across this thread. I just wanted to say that to the one time moms- little was changed about my vagina and I think the doctor stitched too tight. But my second (even smaller head and only 6lbs 9 oz) has left me with a lot of what other moms are talking about. I also only gained 25 lbs and I have more stretch marks and my body changed more than when I gained 45 with my first. argh. I am proud of my mom body- I love my boys-I know that there is no such thing as a supermodel perfected body. BUT. I am getting divorced and my vagina has been having sharp shooting pain and I honestly will probably go to the doctor besides just for appearances. Thank u fellow moms for the post. It is so reassuring.
I am so disappointed in how some people have turned this into an argument. I am also disappointed that some people think since their experience went one way, everyone else's will too. Here is the thing about childbirth. (Im pregnant with my 5th so I think I know a little bit about this.) first and foremost, the absolute most important thing is that you come out of this healthy and alive and that your baby or babies are healthy and alive. secondly, there are pros and cons to both sides. so for all you mothers to be, listen up (I am not taking sides in the c section vs vaginal):
first a c section. this is a major surgery and as with any major surgery it may or may not go well. you may end up with serious issues in your abdominal tissue. you may not. you may have a huge ugly scar, or you may have a little incision battle scar. as for your vagina, obviously, it will remain the same. however, other situations can arise. for instance, the weakening of the muscles may cause your uterus to prolapse. it may stick a little past your cervix, or all the way out of your body. most likely it will stay right where it is at. also, the weight of the baby will put a strain on your vaginal muscles. most likely this will fix itself. it may not, and you will end up looser and weaker. don't sweat it. no matter what, relax, have the baby, then deal with the issues as they arrive.
now as for vaginal birth- you may tear at the perineum, or get cut, or you may not. for some you may have no change, for others just some abrasion. you may get looser, you may also get tighter! your vagina will most likely change in some way or another. it may not change at all. and, of course, your poor vagina will get wrecked.
now for the men. it is unrealistic to assume that your sex life and partners body wont change. it is also unrealistic to assume that your sex life and partners body will be destroyed. as with the birth, you will have to wait and see what happens. every persons body, and every persons relationship, and every persons delivery is different. communication is important. if you have issues with your partners post sex body or vagina please please please try everything you can to resolve the issue before you do something to destroy her self esteem or your family. remember that you are with her, a human being, not a sex toy.
so please everybody... talk to your OB/GYN, midwife, doulah whatever. talk to your family! genetics plays a big part in what can happen. and above all, relax! what is going to happen will happen and stressing now wont help.
on a more personal note. I was one of the lucky ones with the vaginal birth. I had four babies. my vagina is totally different, but not wrecked. my episiotomy healed wrong and is hard on one side. the opening is loose, the rest tightened up to pre birth. (don't forget it takes up to a year before your vaginal muscles heal, so if your worried now, you may still have months before you know the actual damage.) on a more funny note... I was so proud of my all natural births and my pretty abdomen. then complications arose in my last pregnancy, and I ended up having exploratory surgery and an appendectomy. I gave birth with six inches of stitches in my side! so much for my pretty abdomen! no c sections and the worst of the worst scar with muscle loss. lol! see, you never know what will happen. karma bit me in the ***!
So women should get a c section so that their men won't cheat? That's pathetic and a very poor excuse. If the man really loved her, he would love her no matter what her vagina becomes. He should love her for who she is, not because she is a vehicle for sex. The woman grows a baby inside her for many months, has her body change in countless ways, goes through birth, and then mothers the child including devoting most or all of her time, breastfeeds, and teaches the child everything she knows. And her man is concerned about what sex will feel like post-baby? Please. Is it any wonder more women are choosing to become lesbians.
this is so funny to me because I'm 21 I had my daughter may 1st of this year naturally no epidural no pain meds and afterwards I had no complications whatsoever my baby girl is completely healthy and so is my vagina it's actually tighter than it was before and my husband loves it he told me himself even though ifelt it once we first had sex again thing is a lot of women don't wait six weeks before having sex that's why y'all vaginas are fcked up!!!! I barely did any kegel exercises so that's not why I'm tighter than before I almost feel like a virgin again yall freaks should have waited to get some and y'all va gg's would have bounced back!!!!!!!! Lmao!!!! #iwentnatural #ilovedit #naturalbreedqueen
I know this thread is old but can I just say!!!!! THANKYOU!!! Yep i had a natural delivery with a 9 pound 11 baby. Currently 10 months post partum. Totally cheesed off with all this natural is best rubbish. I had an easy and quick labour but given what I know now I would have rather have had a c section. (They even suspected i was on for a big baby yet still let me go over 2 weeks.....)
It's all very well saying natural is best for those who have small babies but to those who don't it just isn't fair in my opinion. I don't have a partner now so it makes it even more depressing as I wonder how that intimate aspect of life will have changed now...It all 'moves' down there and of all the drs whove examined me since delivery none have never mentioned anything about rectocele/cystocele etc something which i suspect i may have......ANNOYED!!! Im only 24 aswell.....
Here is another forum on "looks" and the way the "vagina feels" after vaginal/C-section. Here is something to keep in mind, there are many women out there that attempt to get pregnant and go through invitro, surrogacy, etc. and some even still can't get pregnant. So why don't we all give thanks and praise God because He has given us this beautiful privilege and gift of having a baby :-) Stop judging each other! If you had a C-section by choice or not (baby didn't position itself, or whatever the case be) it is irrelevant. The most important thing is to be thankful for motherhood and be thankful that our children are born healthy!!! Pat yourselves on the back, women's body are so amazing. Hallelujah praise God for He is good!!! :-) And really, if you don't believe in God that doesn't change the fact that He is still God and reigns sitting on His throne so move on. God bless you all.
Ladies, my husband wants me to get pregnant in the next couple of months, but I'm freaking out a little. I've always wanted to be a mom, but through adoption. I've never had the urge to get pregnant and carry my child. Since my husband wants me to get pregnant soon, I've been doing a lot of research and found this website. Of course the idea of my vagina looking like the "insides are coming out" freaked me out a little bit.
That being said, the change that you ladies experienced... Was it temporary and go back to be somewhat normal after a few months to a year or was did it change forever?
I had a vaginal birth and my vagina looks completely normal. I didn't tear at all. I'm 5'2 and small framed. These comments are soo absurd!!!! Choosing to have a c-section out of fear of a loose vagina sounds is so stupid! Vaginal is the safer and better option for you and your baby. Men should have no say in this. To suggest to women that they have c-section to keep their husbands from cheating?! My jaw dropped when I read that comment. Who thinks this way? My baby and I come first, men are going to cheat if they want to cheat regardless of your vagina size!!
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