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Vaginal appearance changes after childbirth
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Avatar_m_tn
Why do people think they actually have a choice in delivering c-section vs. vaginally?  Elective c-section is quickly not becoming an available option in our society.  A safe delivery should be everyone's priority!  Thankfully large percentages of women don't die in childbirth anymore due to modern medical intervention.
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Avatar_m_tn
I had my first child vaginally four months ago.  Things have changed
"down there", but I wouldn't have done things differently.  There are MULTIPLE risks involved with having a surgical procedure like a c-section.  They far outweigh the benefit of having "nicer" lady bits.  Vaginas were made to birth babies as well as facilitate their creation!

One of my friends had her bladder perforated during her c-section.  She had multiple complications because of this.  She went home with a urinary catheter and ended up back in the hospital with an ileus.  All of this while trying to care for a newborn.  Another friend had a hernia after two c-sections.  She had to have further surgery to correct this.  The risks go on and on, one of which being death.  It is a major surgical procedure, not a minor one, and there is a reason why OBGYNs do not electively give all women c-sections!
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1958148_tn?1330220055
I think you are twisting statistics.  One third of all babies are born C-section in the US now.  Your two friends who had complications with C's are obviously the exception to the rule.  Besides, hernias happen no matter the method.

In California, we most certainly have the choice of C or vaginal.  This is between you and your doctor, not the nurse.

One huge side effect of vaginal birth that you are ignoring is the number of men who cheat.  Two men have already posted that this was their solution to the problem, and I think we all know enough stories of cheating/divorce to know that this is not some isolated or new trend.

Bottom line is that we as women need to consider ALL the possible outcomes.  And if married, we need to include our spouses.

And by the way, our bodies wouldn't rip and tear if they were perfectly "designed" to give birth vaginally.  Maybe they're only "designed" to handle 4 lb. babies?
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Avatar_f_tn
I second that one!
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Avatar_m_tn
WTF!?  You have a serious problem Mike.  You think women are being coerced into having natural childbirth and it's better for them to have a baby cut out so their vaginas stay tight for you?  You are a self-centered worthless a-hole, a piece of **** husband and father.  Cheating on your wife because her body has changed is awful, you should be ashamed of yourself.  Your wife and child would be better off if you just disappeared.  You obviously don't love and respect her and appreciate one of the most amazing things a woman can do, bring a new life into the world!  Go f*** yourself a-hole!
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1958148_tn?1330220055
You've made your fear loud and clear, and no, life is not fair.  So why not address it with your husband?    Ruining your sex life and then eventually your love life in your marriage is hardly good plan for your children or your family.

One solution, if you absolutely must have this personal mystical moment for yourself, is to plan ahead for the corrective vaginal surgery (saving the 5 grand, and discussing it with your husband and the surgeon).

You get to have your "moment" and still keep the love alive in your marriage.  Win-win.
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Avatar_f_tn
Not every woman has a loose vagina after delivering. I don't.. but in saying that i was extremely tight before and my partner use to tear me all the time and rip the tip of his manhood . After my 1st child i was at a "good" tightness and he prefers it this way because apparently i was far to tight before. Before you say hes lying I can tell you that  hes not hes far to selfish to lie. I choose not to have a c section because i didn't want that hideous scar or my muscles to be cut, not because i'm some sort of hippy who thought natural birth would bring me closer to my child. I don't look like the typical "mummy" or have the mummy body as most mothers get as i looked after my self extremely well because appearance  means something to me. Any way if your unhappy with your wife's appearance down there or wherever, you need to tell her as gently as possible. Instead of paying for escorts save the money and give your wife the ultimate present of surgery. Pay for her to get a new vagina, new **** and tummy tuck etc BUTTTT tell her if you WANT surgery youl pay for it DO NOT say you SHOULD get surgery. I bet you she would take you up on your offer and youd get a new wife so to say. its a win win situation
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Avatar_m_tn
I'm not "twisting" any statistics.  I don't know how things are in California, but here in Washington the OBGYN makes the call on how the baby is delivered.  (Did I say the nurse made that decision???)  If c-sections were truly safer than vaginal deliveries I'm sure my OB would offer all of her patients c-sections.  My own OB delivered her own children vaginally and suffered tearing, and she is well aware of the risks of childbirth.  By all means women should make that decision if they are given options.  But do you think insurance companies are going to pay for unnecessary elective c-sections in a country whose medical decisions are commonly driven by the insurance companies?

The current trend in this country is to reduce the amount of c-sections being performed.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44148964/ns/health-pregnancy/t/hospitals-take-hard-stop-early-elective-c-sections-inductions/#.TyxMbxyRMco

As for your justification that the vagina must not be intended for delivering babies because it tears. . . I can't believe what ignorant reasoning that is.  The vagina tears for a multitude of reasons.  The number one reason women died in childbirth before modern medicine was because of obstructed childbirth.  I myself would have suffered that same fate had my child not been delivered via vacuum delivery.  Because the vagina did not have time to stretch, it tore.  Midwives and OB's have techniques to stretch the tissues during delivery to prevent tearing if at all possible.  Tissues are also meant to heal.

I'm sorry to all of the women on this message board who have suffered disfigurement and are suffering because of this.  It is truly unfair.  Sadder yet are the husbands whose sex lives are more important than their wives' feelings and the fact that they have a healthy child and wife.  I count myself truly blessed that my husband is so grateful to have a healthy baby and healthy wife post delivery.  God bless you ladies who are dealing with these issues!  You are not alone.
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1958148_tn?1330220055
My statistics come from the CDC, which shows that in just one decade, C-sections rose by 53%.  http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/databriefs/db35.htm.  Just because a couple of hospitals have changed their policies does not mean the rest of the country has or will.

Your comment about the insurance companies was naive.  These are the same companies that would love to remove birth control from policies because more babies = more money for them.  Having a vaginal delivery seems to have numerous short and long-term health consequences, thus, more visits and more money.

I'm also annoyed with the number of women who write that men should worship their wives for having their babies vaginally.  What on earth does one have to do with the other?  No sex life is no sex life, no matter whether you delivered vaginally, C, or you adopted.  If the sex is lousy because of size of the vagina (or the size of the wife), then fix the problem rather than shifting the blame to him.

When I made the comment about vaginal births being not so unnatural, it was meant as a joke.  If there has to be a whole army and equipment to deliver your baby, then how is it that animals deliver their babies out in the wild with no problem?
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Avatar_m_tn
good for you.. it is my dream to have c section ,, im pregnant (40 weeks) with my first baby.,., and always i was scared to have baby with no c section.. but my doctor not approve that ,,:(((( they told me hospital and insurance not doing that with no reason.. so i have no choice.. im 7 days late from my due date and im goin to the hospital tomw .. they going to use drug first,, i hope nothing happen and thet take me for c section...  
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Avatar_f_tn
From my experience some ObGyn's are more modernized and will ask a woman if she would like to deliver her baby via C-section vs vaginally and will adher to her choice. I live in Ohio and it is my experience that if you have a doctor thats main concern is based upon medical neccessity over personal preference than no, they will not give you a choice but, if you have a doctor that realizes that a persons choice is just as important in medicine as any other aspect than yes they will.
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Avatar_m_tn
I am sooooo glad that I had a c-section. My twin sister gave birth three years ago naturally, no drugs and at home with her midwife, and it totally destroyed her. Her son was 7 pounds 4 ounces and left her stretched and ugly (we're twins, we show and talk about everything). She said that she is more in touch with her vagina and can focus more on how things feel, but it is definitely looser. Her and her husband have a strong relationship, but she still sees a very well hung male escort occasionally because her husband, who is average (7+" and decent girth - I dated him in college way before they got together). She justifies it by saying that it keeps their marriage together because she is no longer sexually satisfied by her husband but would never leave him. I guess he probably does the same.

My c-section was awesome. A couple extra days, a small scar and a beautiful baby girl (also 7 pounds!). I was incredibly studious about how tight I was because my husband isn't quite as big as my sisters. The way I measured was this: Before pregnancy, I bought a couple of adult toys, found the one that fit the best when I squeezed and made lots of notes as to what I could feel where. Then, after about six months after I had my daughter, I started to measure again. No difference. None. Meanwhile, my sister pays for sex with a huge guy and her vagina looks like a war zone.

Add me to the overwhelming list on this board in favor of c-sections. Don't believe the hippy hype on here from the naturalists, have a c-section and don't permanently ruin your vaginas for nothing.
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Avatar_m_tn
oh my gosh, how can any women say that its the "easy way or the hard way" to a vaginal birth or c-section!!!! I am a proud mother of two beautiful girls that had both forms of deliveries i am appouled by the comparision we are all judged on.. may every child be a blessing and a major blessing to all the mothers and fathers alive to cherish them no matter how they came, how your body is left!!  To the families that have lost a child through birth and the children who have lost a mother through childbirth.
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1958148_tn?1330220055
The topic here is about how our bodies look and feel after natural childbirth.  I'm assuming you landed on this thread because you have concerns about your own physicality.

The issues of how wonderful mothers and children are and how mothers wish everyone would acknowledge and appreciate them is a separate topic.

To all the soon-to-be-moms out there, ask your doctor how many C-sections he performs in a month (3-4 is average).  If he is uncomfortable performing one on you, ask for a referral.  Surgery should not make him squeamish; he should be also doing tubal ligations and hysterectomies, in addition to C-sections in his practice.
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm not sure what is going on with some of the other mothers. All I can do is share my experience. I birthed both of my babies naturally, 8 and 9 lbs, and my vagina is fine. It was out of shape for about 6 months but I kegeled and it feels the same now. Tightness doesn't have much to do with skin and stretching, IMO. I think it has more to do with muscle tone. I am VERY active and was throughout my pregnancies. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I birthed squatting, so the pressure was off my perineum? Maybe these women where relying on skin tightness pre-birth and didn't have good muscle tone in the first place?
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Avatar_n_tn
i have never heard so much rubbish thats been posted on this comment.

poor old men that cant feel their wives after natural child birth, ummm you sure its the natural child birth that has caused this!!!!!

i have had 4 natural child births and can still feel what i am suppose to. we have had and still have a fantastic sex life !

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1736909_tn?1331528998
I just had my first C section Jan 16th after delivering 12 and 13 years ago vaginally and I have to say..Why do people keep saying the scar is tiny? I have a 6 inch scar now under my tummy and I don't think that is small.. Also one side of it feels kinda lumpy, when I have my 6 week checkup I am going to see is it might have a hernia in it.Also having that C section was a pretty awful experience..I was strapped to a table, could not move my lower body and almost had a panic attack (I had a spinal and was awake)..and it was difficult to move after the surgery to get out of bed (and the nurses kept making me get out of bed and take care of the baby)..I could not sleep in my bed at home for 2.5 weeks after because It hurt to move. My tummy is still rather large due to the fact I did not push and my uterine contractions were not as strong. I do not feel cheated out of the birth experience (I always hear women say this on other boards) but I have to say recovery from my two vaginal deliveries was easier and had less complications (even with the episiotomy)..I'm on the fence with this one ladies--I think you have to makethe best decision for yourself about how to give birth, both ways have their benefits and drawbacks. On the plus side I did get my tubal, and I found out I was only born with one ovary--there was no other tube to tie.
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1560171_tn?1330125777
I cant believe this thread, I had a 9 pound 2 ounce baby boy and although i do look different down there it has definitely not changed my sex life and my DP is always satisfied. Giving birth is scary no matter what but c sections are major surgery, you are getting cut open and if it was low risk then there would always be a choice but in Australia its a last resort and i do mean a very very last resort. Dont justify your cheating by blaming natural childbirth,wake up to yourself because if you had been witnessed to someone dying due to a c section then maybe you wouldnt be so quick to tell everyone how horrible a natural birth is, now those 2 little boys are growing up without a mother. There are so many more complications when having a c-section. Please dont scare other women. I just think its so selfish of the men complaining when all they have to do is stand there while their wives do all the hard work. I hope those men  who are cheating on their wives for this reason enjoy the Karma that is for sure coming their way!!!
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Avatar_f_tn
am expecting my first and am more confused and scared!!!!!!!! after reading all the posts:- C-section or natural birth
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1958148_tn?1330220055
Congratulations!  Breastfeeding is supposed to help bring the uterus back into shape quickly, according to my doc.  Good to know that you were lucid enough to enjoy meeting your baby -- I was wondering about that for my own experience coming up soon.

As far as the stitches/pain, there would have been pain if you pushed and stitches if you ripped in natural childbirth, so to me it's 6 or 1/2 dozen of the other.

I asked my DH if he would be turned off by a scar, and he thought I was joking.  It then turned into a contest of who has more scars from all of childhood's adventures and mishaps, plus burns from cooking, etc.  It will fade.  And guess what -- you would have had a scar at your bikini line if you had your tube(s) tied anyway (though only about 1").
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Avatar_n_tn
If you're loose you need to do lots of kegels. your vagina is a muscle and you have to tone it.
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Avatar_f_tn
I wish to god I had taken the doctors advice and had a c-section, I had been induced with my twins because of pre-eclampsia and it was a long drawn out labour. At several times I was urged to consider a section but I kept refusing as I was determined to have a 'natural birth'

Both babies got stuck, 2nd one pulled out by feet as was breech, ended up having an episiotomy (cut) and almost died from internal bleeding.

Now what I have been left with resembles a large hole with tissue looking like minced meat!!! part of my hymen even hangs out, not to mention you could park a truck up there! I tried to do exercises which I couldn't do for quite a while but the damage is permanent.

I have consulted my GP who advises she can see clearly what I am talking about but that it would be classed as cosmetic and therefore couldn't do anything.

So short of coming into some money like winning the lottery there is no way I would be able to afford to have it corrected and not that I have much of a sex life but when I do it's not very satisfactory.

On the upside I know it will never look worse as if in the future I have another baby I need to have a c-section on medical grounds :)

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Avatar_m_tn
Seriously?! NOw? I'm six months post-natural child birth and not only does my vagina look like a failed science fair experiment, I am still HUGE down there! How huge? Four fingers. You read that correctly. I can easily fit in four fingers. I do kegels morning, noon and night. Constantly. If I ever see another one of those women who convinced me that sacrificing my vagina for a natural child birth was worth it I am going to rip them open until they too need FOUR FINGERS to fill themselves.

To help all of the women who don't want to stretch themselves out to porn star status, here is how to combat the natural child birth gestapo when they come for you:

Natural Childbirth Nut: You should have a natural child birth.
You: Why?

Natural Childbirth Nut: If you don't your child won't be healthy when born.
You: BS, there is no difference in children born naturally or by c-section when the child is healthy.

Natural Childbirth Nut: You won't bond with your baby if you don't deliver naturally.
You: BS, it's my child and of course I will bond with it.

Natural Childbirth Nut: You will have a scar and have to stay in the hospital for months.
You: BS, a small scar and a couple of days is all that most people have.

Natural Childbirth Nut: You are a failure as a mother if you don't have your baby naturally.
You: BS, you are a failure as a woman if you sacrifice your own happiness for something that doesn't make any difference.

Natural Childbirth Nut: It's what Jesus intended OR it's natural, therefore it's better.
You: BS, by that logic we should try to walk off appendicitis, wisdom teeth and cancer. Sometimes, science finds a way to fix what is clearly an imperfect process. Denying yourself common sense is no way to start motherhood.

Natural Childbirth Nut: We will shun you if you decide to have anything besides natural child birth.
You: Go ahead, you're nuts.

There, now you too can combat those natural childbirth loons and not end up an disfigured four finger queen like me. You're welcome.
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1958148_tn?1330220055
"If I ever see another one of those women who convinced me that sacrificing my vagina for a natural child birth was worth it I am going to rip them open until they too need FOUR FINGERS to fill themselves."

LOL.  They're probably already 4 fingers big, m'dear.  Misery loves company, though, so welcome to their sorority.  You've just been hazed.
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Avatar_m_tn
On one hand it's nice to know that I'm not alone. On the other, IT TAKES FOUR FINGERS TO FILL ME UP!!!!! No wonder why there are size queens. My husband is no porn star (nor am I!) and I can't do anything besides cry. I am so mad. I hate my vagina. My sex life with my husband is ruined. But at least I had a natural child birth. I'm sure that my beautiful child would have been an unlovable demon if I had just followed the advice of every woman with a brain who told me to have a c-section.

I'm 28 and my sexual life is over. I hate you liar natural birth freaks so much for the lies you tell. My vagina is ruined. You are all terrible people and I hope that each of you are stretched as much as I am.
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1560171_tn?1330125777
WOw dont know here you all from but a C-section is not a choice you get to make here in Australia, the only way you get one is if it is needed, the reason that you dont get a choice is because it is dangerous and carries far more risks and the recovery time is longer and damn scary so please dont scare all these other women, no need to spread so much hate towards women who had a natural birth as i never had a choice, all i wanted was a healthy baby,There are risks either way. I dont look the same down there but satisfy my man just as much as i did b4 and i would tell my DP to go screw himself if he ever had something bad to say about anything in that area!,if you have a bad sex life because of a natural then seek help.
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Avatar_m_tn
What an amazing way with words you have! Congrats on doing things your way hun, need to be more people confident enough to do it! I had natural, gluten free childbirth which luckily(after initially swelling to the point of nothing going in!)  left my "hoo ha" the same as before but good God it hurt like hell and c-section seems a much nicer way of doing things. x
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Avatar_m_tn
change doctors and if your who ha get destroyed yell at him and curse and sue him.  Go in during your post partum check ups and complain about destroyed vagina related problems like you can't control your bladder that becomes weak no matter how many kegels you do and demand for a referral for a surgeon to fix your vagina after he let be destroyed by natural childbirth.
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Avatar_m_tn
When all of you disrespect natural do you mean vaginally or without interventions at natures pace-natural? Because they are very different and do very different things to our bodies. No natural birthing mom convinced any of you, you convinced yourselves, dont displace the blame. these our our own decisions to make.

Too much hate here for women who make educated decisions about birth either for c-section or natural birth. There are risk with both and smart women look into both sides. Natural child birth women are not like ones who believe in bigfoot or are trying to spread misinformation. C-section choosers are NOT trying to just be vain and dont want whats best for their children. Most women are making educated choices and should be supported.

I had a all natural home birth and nothing is wrong with my vagina. But I was able to labor in a relaxed state in my own home and was given all the time I needed and no interventions like pitocin to make things speed up too quickly.  I had a wonderful midwife who helped me not to tear and I labored for 36hrs.  

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Avatar_f_tn
Dear Mark,
Please look into the kegelmaster, it will change both of your lives forever. The kegel/bladder/sexual muscles in a woman can be really hurt by natural childbirth. I had a c-section, but I read years ago how to prevent the bladder muscles from weakening and later on even developing incontinence. However, these muscles are VITAL to your sex life and it doesn't what position you're in, you should be able to feel your wife in every way. If you need more info or have anymore questions, feel free to email me at ***@****. I would be glad to help you more, but you can also find this website. It is the easiest muscle in the body to get in shape and she can do it quick. It may take 6 wks, but you can tell the first time, depending on how regressed the muscles are. Anyways, just thought I'd tell you even though you probably know about this because nothing is permanent and surgery will not even correct this permanently. It's like any other muscle, it NEEDS to be worked or it will atrophy. You can order one of these devices and it's about $100 and the best $100 you've ever or will ever spend! I love having control in every way, including sexually. Women can do these exercises up until they die because there's no reason they can't due to how you do them. The device has springs and you work up to the power springs, making it resistance exercise...to which is the BEST kind. God Bless and hope this helps you if you haven't already gotten help.
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Avatar_f_tn
i almost has a C because i was not dialateing but then i started to dialate i was in the last part of labor for only an hour and i was only pushing for about 20 mins before she crowned it hurt varry badly even with the epadurl as soon as she crowned it hurt i dont know if i would of rather had a c because im alrady doing as much as i was before i had her if i would of had a c i may not of had the energy the next day to go runing around i dont think i would of changed the way i would of deleverd i did not tare or have to have stitches at all but i know that it is differnt down there but i think it is to soon to tell how tight i will be because it is tight now and i still have 2 more weeks to heal before my 6 week check up
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2091970_tn?1332879701
After reading all of the comments on here and listening to so many women's (and men's) struggles, I can't imagine why anyone would have natural child birth. The risk seem to be much worse long term for natural child birth and it's not like you're going to produce a different child with one over the other. It seems simply ridiculous that some women would choose to put themselves through so much unnecessary pain, anguish and permanent damage (to both their vagina and love life/marriage).

I was originally going to have a natural child birth, but after reading this page and talking to my doctor (who said, "Yep, odds are it'll be a little looser and look different. Mine is.), we've decided to have a c-section. Thank you to everyone on here who posted their stories. It meant a lot to me.
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2094004_tn?1333011172
YOU PROBABLY HAVE A SMALL PENIS.
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Avatar_m_tn
Having a Natural child birth is not a "hippy" thing, I can't believe how ignorant people can be. Having a c-section is easier in someways but if you are very concerened about the looks, let me tell you these.
I had a C for my first boy and going to have a VBAC for my second within a month.
After C what happens is:  the scar is not so "tiny" it can look small to you from the outside but it's bigger in your inside. You can say so what? So you are cut from 7 layers of your body, widely, it takes a very long time to heal from all the layers and you permanently lose your lower abdominal muscles. You cannot feel some part of your tummy anymore, you cannot do pilates or yoga or any kind of physical activity to get you tummy to shape. Your tummy looks weird, like it's flat below the scar and then suddenly there's a "love handles" like bump above the scar area, and you feel a jelly-like substance in your tummy for a very long time--like a year or more.  So you have that bumpy, jelly looking tummy which you can never kontrol your muscles to firm anymore. Also please note that the muscle that you have down there is the same long muscle that you have under your tummy. When it's widely cut once, you may not be able to perform kegels or even feel kegel. I would still go with the natural birth, as in the name "natural", and let my body heal itself quicker by all means, phisically and emotionally, instead of "interrupting" a natural process and leave the body with a major abdominal surgery to heal.
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Avatar_m_tn
By the way, I am from Istanbul and here, in Turkey, C-section rate is almost 60%. Because doctors try to force every pregnant to have a c-section because it's very easier for them to schedule their lives, no urgent phone calls in the middle of the night, no 12-hour birth sessions to take care of and no sweating while trying to have the baby born naturally. They all give you the appointment at 7:00 in the morning when you're in your 38th or 39th week, in order to prevent to baby to go  into the birthing channel- and cut the mother and take the child out very easliy. Here there are organisations and groups who are trying to tell mothers that they should go V if they have no health problems..etc. I cannot believe you are trying to do the opposite over there!
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2100813_tn?1333491860
That's BS. I teach Pilates and Yoga at my own studio in California and more than half of my girls with kids have c-sections and have no problem after they heal. It's going to take you a little while to restrengthen your abdominal muscles and developing core strength again, but that's true with either birth. I had a c-section, twins, and it took me about two months to get my core back. I do this for a living, so I was probably faster than most, but it's very doable. This whole natural childbirth craze is completely hippy. You would never tell someone with an abscessed tooth let nature take it's course. Same with birth. Medical advances made it better. You guys need to stop pretending that giving birth is a mystical event and just have the baby with a nice, safe, non-ho-ha destroying c-section.
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1958148_tn?1330220055
They don't cut through the muscle in America; they part it.

Doctors here in California will happily perform a C-section if you request it because the risk of malpractice is much lower.  Vaginal birth is very unpredictable, and that translates into increased lawsuits.
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Avatar_m_tn
I assume it would be easier for you, since you teach pilates and yoga, and the people who are doing it as a lifestyle or for a long time would gain their strength back but for a regular person who doesn't have very firm muscle tone is not easy, for some not available forever since you don't really feel some parts of your muscle. Some say it may come back after a couple of years but most may not. You can understand when I mean that, when you thouch the c-section scar you won't feel it, because your nerves are cut horizontally, and when the nerves are cut horizontially it is not very easy/possible to go back to how it was before. The abdominal muscle structure is vertical, so "parting it" would mean doing a vertical cut, which takes longer time to heal and my rip in your second-third pregnancy ..so all over the world, a horizontal cut is considered to be much safer.

And also I'm not hippy, there's not a hippy or mystical thing about giving birth to my opinion, I agree, but why I want this is, in my C section, I had epidural c-section which was very easy actually, but what happens is, again, c-section is a very major abdominal surgery, it may have many complications, may take a very long time to heal, takes a very long time to go back to the life before birth. It may be easier on some people, it may not be easier on some people. If you're not doing epidural C-section, possible side effects and even not known yet effects of anesthesia is well knownn, you can google it. Remember if you had a full anesthesia when you wake up you do something or say something that you don't remember, or you cannot control your emotions..etc.
Remember that a C-section is an interruption to the process. I'm not talking about a "mystical" thing, It interrupts the natural process so your body cannot understand it gave birth fir a long time, it doesn't start the right hormones to go off in your body which will make your postpartum depression less or even eliminate, which will start your uterus to start to go back to normal size, which will start to burn your baby fat actually and which would renew a woman's cells and system. It's a proven scientific fact. That's why you are left with a big, swollen, cut tummy for a long time after c-section.
The only thing to worry about V birth is the defections that may occur, but if your baby is not big, if you did your kegels before, if you did your perine massages and don't push your baby so hard, try to relax and let the baby go out smoothly, your chances to get not harmed vagina is almost the same as c-section. Well also as a woman who has the simmilar concerns, I can tell having a sexy body without a cut and surgery is much better than having a little change in the looks of your V. Because you can work on your body to make it sexier, you can try your fantasies with your husband/boyfriend that you never tried before, you can  -I don't know- do something new in your sex life to get the fire back on. I don't believe it's totally up to the tightness of your V when it comes to men, you can also have a husband stitch as well! which most of my friends say it even got better after delivery because of the stitch..
Anyway, I had a C-section, will have a VBAC this time because I don't want to be cut out twice, and here, in Europe also, Vbirth is considered to be best way for women and C-sections are considered as a "third world kind of thing" for ignorant moms--that's the view over here.
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hi.how long after each birth did things normalize.please reply
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For you to say that some men choose to cheat after their wives deliver vaginally, and offer this as an argument in support of c-section, is outragous.  Because  my vaginal area looks different is NO excuse to betray a marriage or committed relationship.  My husband of 25 years looks different now, without having squeezed anything out of his penis, and I have never entertained the idea that I need to cheat.  Our sex life is more than animal-like stimulation.  What makes us different from animals is that we can choose to adhear to higher values.  It is my husband's mind and charm that turn me on, then, the motion in the ocean- not the size of the boat.  And trust me, he makes waves.......   So for those who cheat because their woman looks or feels different, shame on you!  
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Some may not be doing kegals correctly or have a more severe issue that kegals won't correct. 4 weeks after giving birth to my 3rd child naturally.. my vagina is back to its normal tight and satisfying condition. I also did and still do kegals regularly. My body has always been able to "bounce back" quickly, including my weight, breasts and having no stretch marks.. Im pretty sure its hereditary as my Mom was the same way. All the men who posted..I appreciate the honesty..however how disgusting of you to cheat or divorce over a vagina! Did you vow to her or her vagina! If you really loved her for better or worse then HELP her through it with surgery or whatever it takes..be a man and stick to your promise, you walking out on her after birthing children is so pathetic I have no more words for you. Im so lucky to have a real man who would Loyally stick by my side even IF my vagina had not gone back to normal. I don't know what you all are going through, but I can only imagine and I wish you all the best of luck.
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As long as you are in really good shape, do your kegels nonstop, use a tightening ball vaginal exercise thingy, and continue to strenuously work out every day during and after your pregnancy, you've got a 50/50 shot of going back to what you were before. Oh, no problem. That's realistic. I'll get right on that.

NOT!

I saw my sister after her c-section. The scar was small and her husband said that she returned to her former size in no time at all.

DUH!

How is this even a contest? Give me the c-section!!!
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After reading through many of the comments, just thought I would add my experience. I had a natural birth at age 17 with an epidural 18 months ago. My daughter was 7 lbs 8.6 oz. I did not have to be cut and didn't have any tearing either, just got a little burn from friction on one of my inner labia, but left no physical traces it ever happened. It took the textbook 4-6 weeks for my vagina to tighten back up and I will admit that for the 1st couple months afterwards I was self-conscious that I was looser. My boyfriend/baby's daddy and I were under a lot of the stress at the time and our sex life suffered. I thought it was because of my body, even though I still look great with hardly any changes. I got minimal stretchmarks on my stomach and butt/hips that no one even notices. The biggest change was how much smaller my breasts are, but hopefully I can get implants in the next few years. After having a baby, in fact, I am thinner than I ever was before with a faster metabolism. I stand 5' 4" and am 105 lbs. I was left with a tiny skin tag on my anus from hemorrhoids afterwards, which *****, but oh well.

This thread is about vaginal appearance, though, so I'll tell you about mine. My inner labia are longer than they were before childbirth and are slightly darker around the edges. I actually like that my labia are a little more "meaty" now. I think it looks more womanly. I felt like such a child when everything was all tucked inside all the time. I am still just as tight as I was before; sometimes it's difficult for my boyfriend to enter me, but I will say that I stretch out more easily than I did pre-baby.

My biggest complaint after vaginal childbirth is that I queef ALL THE TIME   during sex now. I can't avoid it, unless I want missionary only love-making. I had never experienced a queef before giving birth. I'm super embarrassed by it and it used to ruin our sex, but after my boyfriend did some research and realized I really can't help it we just laugh it off now, but vagina farts are the most un-sexy thing.

The biggest good thing I have to say about vaginal birth is that the sensations during sex are F*UCKING AMAZING now (excuse my language). I had rarely experienced an orgasm during intercourse before I became pregnant, but after I conceived I began to have multiple orgasms. After giving birth, the first couple months I couldn't do anything with deep penetration because it hurt too bad, but we just took it slow and it eventually improved. Now I orgasm very easily and can continue orgasming for minutes at a time. There's no limit to how many I get off during sex, except for how much energy my boyfriend has. Lol. I feel like the placement of my G-spot has changed with childbirth and it has really benefited me.

Every woman is different, but don't let the fear of vaginal changes scare you out of giving birth vaginally! I was terrified before I had my little princess. My boyfriend wanted me to get a c-section very badly, but we didn't have the choice because there was no medical reason for it. I wanted a healthy baby, so it didn't matter to me either way. My boyfriend even said he would pay for corrective surgery if I needed it be cause he was so scared I would be ruined, too.But I like my vaginal changes. It's made my sex-life way better and I look like a woman should. My boyfriend loves my vagina, too.

Good luck to all you ladies!
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The following article shows that even after a c section women can still develop problems "down there"!http://www.urogynics.org/2011/01/24/cesarean-on-demand-does-not-eliminate-risk-of-prolapse/
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Hey ladies, I gave birth back in November, vaginally to a 9.7 pound healthy baby girl. I am only 5'1'' and 100 pounds. So you could only imagine how huge I got in the belly and what a toll it did on me down there. Before I go into details, I think we all should be proud we gave birth and my heart goes out to the ones who have lost their little babies.

I got a 2nd degree tear when I birthed my baby. I was at the naval hospital and of course they did not make sure it looked pretty down there again. I also had a huge cyst through out my pregnancy right below my urethra, so that made sex almost impossible. Anyways, I do have a little bit on the inside being a little on the outside. I don't beat myself up over it, my petite body was powerful enough to birth my daughter vaginally. I am back to being tight and kegels helped. However, I am forever different down there and that's alright. I'm alright with my stretch marks and different looking vagina. At first, it was hard and I did cry the first two months. But then I started to accept and love my body for getting me through child birth with no major issues. My husband says I'm even sexier, that my imperfections are somehow sexier in his eyes. That I'm not perfect like a barbie or wanting to get plastic surgery. My cyst ended up going away on it's own after birth (it never popped during child birth) and I have a little left over skin there. I'm not ashamed. I vaginally birthed a big baby! And men find confidence sexier than how your vagina looks after child birth. My husband flat out told me that it doesn't matter if you have stretch marks or your vagina is not the same as it was before pregnancy, as long as you feel sexy and confident, they will find you to be one hot momma. & the men who cheat on the wives or gfs after pregnancy have another thing coming their way. Karma is a b!tch.
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You all have watched too much porn. Do the rest of us women a favor, quit watching porn and accept the fact that a woman's body is suppose to naturally change after birth. THIS IS NATURAL AND HOW IT IS SUPPOSE TO BE! Not those bare vaginas with no hair down there and plastic surgery. To the men who cheated, you don't deserve a wife. You don't deserve a faithful woman in your lives. You don't deserve beautiful children as you are possibly the most selfish people on earth to ruin your wife's life and your children's lives! Our vaginas changing is a part of being a woman! It's how it is suppose to be! Yes, my husband says I'm looser but he ASKS for me to make him videos of me playing with myself. THAT'S a real man, not you selfish men who cheat on the woman who loves you for all eternity.
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Instead of paying to catch an STD or AIDS

Go pay to have your wife's vagina reconstructed if you want to pay for sex!
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I think you missed the big point about the cheating husbands, MarineWifey88.  Their WIVES don't like sex anymore because they're too loose to feel anything.  They don't enjoy sex, so they lose interest in it and the husbands are left struggling, because now they don't even get even crappy sex.  It's just a horrible thing all around.
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I miss my wife's beautiful vagina.

My ex-wife had a c-section and everything stayed about the same post baby, with a small scar at the hop (we refereed to it as her new happy trail). So when my second wife and I decided to have a child, I thought that it would be the same, too. Wow, was I wrong. That thing is a disaster. I would never, ever, tell her that, but, wow. She is so much looser and cannot orgasm from intercourse anymore. If I had known, or seen this board, I would have tried to stop her. I know that sex between us is miserable right now and take solace in knowing that there are pages on the internet like this that tell the truth about the very real possibility of vagina destruction that can come from natural child birth.

She's decided to get surgery to fix the problems caused by having natural child birth (her choice, I said nothing) and I would like to stress to the men on here that you need to be vocal about this. Don't let your wife/girlfriend ruin their vaginas because of some sisterhood of the sacrificed vaginas or in the name of pseudo-science woo-woo stuff.
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Just wanted to let all of you poor worried women know this thread has totally been trolled... many of these posts are by the same idiot under different names, notice repeated catchphrases like "four finger queens" and how "natural childbirth" is some "hippy" nonsense about having a "mystical connection" with your child... A bunch of unhelpful, incendiary BS from someone who has their own issues...
Anyhoo, I had 2 vaginal births, the natural consequence of sex with my husband, LOL.  Sex feels different, worse after the 1st, better after the 2nd.  Trying to have much sex with 2 young kids is the hardest part, really!  A man who does not want to have sex with a woman who has birthed children obviously needs to (a.) not impregnate a woman whom he intends to have sex with ever again (ie don't get married, duh!) and (b.) GTFO of this forum, it's not for you to whine about your pathetic inability to work out your sexual problems in your marriage.  
Sheesh, people have difficulties with their sex life due to a million natural consequences of being alive, such as illness, accidents, aging, children, etc... If you are in a marriage, you work through these things, and have realistic expectations.  
Ladies, unless you're married to one of the jackass dudes on this thread, you'll be fine.  And if you are, your lady bits are the least of your problems!  Just talk to your doctor about how to fix any pain and discomfort and stop stressing about what your vag looks like.  Women who haven't even had kids hate theirs, too!  (really, look it up!)  We're trained as a culture to be ashamed of the appearance of our vaginas in general, unfortunately.  Lets concentrate on being healthy and improving our sexual relationships; reducing anxiety about it is halfway there.  
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You sound exactly like me! 105 lbs and 5'4. Im 28 and had my 2nd baby 6 wks ago. I have a flat stomach, breastfeeding again, and my vagina is still tight and looks the same. You wouldnt even know i had 2 babies. No stretchmarks, nothing. Natural birth for both. Why do i want a scar and my perfect little stomach ruined for no reason? Natural is exactly how it should be, and if anyone wants to say how if they had to use devices to get the baby out, u should know that its because the way were are made to do it isnt how it should be done. We lay down...gravity is against us. Were meant to squat and push. No hole is too small for a baby, we just dont do it right. U should watch "The Business Of Being Born." It puts things into purspective. Almost made me want to do home birth. And to say anything about a man cheating because of vaginal birth is retarded. WTF are u even talking about...seriously, u need a hobby if ur even spending this much time on this thread trying to get people to do c sections. Maybe ur man cheated on u, i dunno. Theres nothing wrong with the look or the function of my vag. I had stitches from my son, and 2 with my daughter. Im only on here because i was gonna ask if anyone elses stitches fell out without dissolving, but since theres a few comments on here i just coulnt believe, i had to jump in. Its so easy to just push it out. If ur crotch is that horrible and destroyed, maybe it wasnt that pretty to start with. And who cares anyway unless ur planning on being a crotch model or porn star...seriously. why dont u have them cut ur **** out of u too while ur at it, it might ruin ur *******. And u want ur crotch to be so pretty, yet its right next to the thing that excretes ****. Who cares.
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Hi. I just want to know if anyone else had their vagina change colors after giving birth. Mine is now darker and I don't know why.
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I came to this collumn on a whim, and I am glad I did. I learned a lot about the variety of women there are, the possabilities that can happen, and the many solutions that can be applied. I too, think that a healthy sex life is important(and for all the man haters out there, no sex is not "the world to me") But it is important and if you dont agree and call me a "typical man, always thinkin about sex!" Then you miss, are in denial and are an angry four fingerd queen(that was not a comment directed at you Four fingered queen I just really liked you sense of humor). Jaz, your awesome. I think that those men are wrong for cheating and it shows a lack of communication in their relationship. I learned today(another reason) why communtcation is so important.
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Like in any situation, there are those people who admit they were tricked into buying BS, take full responsibility and wish better for others by warning them of the highly likely outcome.

And then there are those that don't take that route because it's embarassing, humiliating, and implies that they were a stupid fool (hello, pride).

A wise man will learn from his mistakes; a genius will learn from others' mistakes.  So now that the cat's out of the bag (God bless the internet), I say pass this thread on to all the pregnant couples out there and let them make an informed decision about natural child birth vs C-sections.
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The rate of c-sections in Iran is 70 percent as it's much easier for the doctors to schedule one and it's actually more expensive to have a natural birth as you have to pay extra to the doctor to attend you in the hospital. From my observations of people who've had a c-section, although a c-section might cause no problem the first time you have a child, it usually does the second time. Many if not most women here who have had one are either unable to conceive again or had difficulties while being pregnant with their second child. So if you consider having a bigger family and you don't have access to the best hospital in your area, this is something worth considering.
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Me too! I guess this is just how post baby vajayjays looks... It's not terrible, and sex still feels good, but it's just a lot more open... Now i know what the first inch of my vaginal canal looks like... Yay!
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Im very shocked to see that so many women are unhappy with their bodies and down stairs areas. You gave birth to your beautiful babies, its the most important thing you will ever have to do and is so worth it. I say if your man isnt happy with your parts and would rather cheat, your better off without them. Luckily for me i havent had any probelms. iv had one baby and my vagina pretty much went back to normal. Sometimes my hubby says im too tight that he feels uncomfortable lol. Even if my hubby wasnt happy with my body im sure he would offer to get me surgery instead of lying to me and cheating. If your cheating on your wife your cheating on your children.
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Is it normal to feel embarrised about how my vagina looks after having children? I had natural child birth because that is what you are suppose to do and everything looks like it feel out and was just pushed back in. I am looser to and my husband says so. I would not trade my gift of a daughter for anything but I wish someone had told me what it was going to do to my vagina. I am adopted and was raised by very religious parents and this is not something that I can talk with about them. I don't like my husband to see the way that I look now and wish that someone had told me what it would do to have a child using the natural child birth. I will have my next one using c-section to make sure that I do not end up looking worse or am looser.
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So the three surgeries that I have had to repair the damage after birth still hasn't fixed the rectoceaol, cyctoceole, vaginal distention, my non existent perineum, hemmoroids (hemorrhoids), ripped cervix, vaginal prolapse, incontinance. I would have taken my chances having a c-section.
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I came here to post a similar story. I have had nothing but problems since giving birth "naturally." I have spent more time seeing doctors after giving birth than I ever did before. I wish to God Almighty I would have listened to my stepmother and just had a c-section. Whoever is on here spouting off "natural birth" should spend a day living with the carnage that is my post-natural birth vagina.
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This page has been my reality check. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm so glad that I found this before giving birth.

All of my aunts, great aunts and even my mother (everyone over 40) has been telling me to get a c section. But everyone under 25 has been telling me terrible stories about what could happen to my child if I didn't do everything naturally.

So this is what I've figured out: My mother knows best. All of the experienced women who have had children and gone on to continue their lives with those children know the ramifications of both natural child birth and c sections. The ones under 25 are caught up in trying to do everything perfectly or right, when there is no such thing. This baby is going to come out of me and I will love it no matter what. How it is delivered really doesn't matter, and the odds of problems are almost identical.

BUUUUTTT, with the natural child birth normal problems are long lasting: stretched vagina that doesn't return to normal, ugly vagina, tearing, anal issues, you name it.

With the c section, you're gonna have a scar. The rest of the serious issues are bad either way, but the odds of them are so low and there is so little you can do about them, that worrying will only lead to trying to make yourself believe that you can do something to lessen the risk --- which you can't !!!

So if you throw out all of the fear based natural hooey that doesn't make any real difference, you are left with two choice:

c section: You're gonna have a scar
natural child birth: You've got fifty/fifty odds of your vagina going to pot.

It's getting over all the fear based stuff that is pitched by well meaning girls and listening to the wisdom of those women who've been through it and have a couple decades to reflect that makes the difference.

For me, I choose the c section, because Momma knows best.
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SORRY!!!!

I should have thanked Carolyn for showing me this page. My cousin is awesome and strong!

I love you Carolyn (and I'll give your computer back tomorrow :P)
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Avatar_f_tn
its been 6 months after having brendon and i do my kejels (sp) every day when is my vagina suppose to go back to its normal tightness? my husband is upset because i cant feel much during sex now and its causing us to fight alot. my doctor said taht since i didnt do the csection it probably wont go back to the way it was but ive seen lots of people on the internet who said it should. please help. thank you.
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I feel like i also made a huge mistake, i was convinced i had a problem with my cervix, and my doctor cut out my hymen and stuck his hand in my vagina, to see if he could turn back my cervix. So anyway, i also feel like i have a problem that can't be corrected easily, and I don't even have a baby to make me feel better. I think some doctors don't care about your sex life at all, although an ideal husband is always a treasure.
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I came here to say something similar. I don't think doctors care about our sex lives or our self-images at all. And from the comments on here, neither do most of you. You natural birth advocates seem to simply disregard all of the emotionally and physically devastating stories from a huge amount of other women when they explain how natural child birth has ruined their lives. You don't care at all! You just want to push your agenda, regardless of the permanent risks. You've convinced yourself that what you are doing is better and making a difference, when it doesn't. So you preach to anyone who will hear about how you're superior because you are natural. Well guess what sister? It doesn't make a difference. AND you have a much higher risk of hating your vagina and hating your love life for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.

So you can feel self-righteous about your natural child birth all you want, but keep it to yourself. The rest of us plan on remaining in reality, where we haven't convinced ourselves that we have to destroy our vaginas to pay for having children.
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I recently had vaginal rejuvenation and labiaplasty to repair the damage done during natural child birth. While the operation was expensive, it was worth it. I had both of my daughters completely naturally before the age of 25, only to loose my husband in Iraq while the youngest one was two. We talked before he was deployed about what we would do if he was killed and he was very determined to see me remarry and find happiness again. And while I will never forget Jason, I am trying to move on. Part of that is repairing my vagina.

Natural child birth ripped me a new one. I had "meat" all over the place and was a lot looser. I know that you natural birth or death girls claim that it doesn't happen or that everything can be fixed with 12 hours a kegels a day, but it just doesn't work that way. Some of us just don't go back to anywhere close to as tight as we used to be.

I went to the Atlanta Center for Aesthetic Vaginal Surgery with Dr. Robert Moore and am very pleased with the work. I'm still not read emotionally for dating, but know that I don't want to spend the rest alone. So repairing the damage caused by natural child birth has been a serious confidence booster.

To anyone out there who has also been left disfigured from the an all natural birth, you do have options. I full recommend my doctor and am proud of my decision to repair what was done. If you are reading this and trying to decide whether or not to have natural child birth, please consider the damage done with either choice. One is a scar and the other is potentially permanent disfigurement.
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All I can say is thanks to you (Mike_13) and the other guys who answered honestly. I am 27 years old, pregnant with my first baby, love my husband and my sex life - and am now 100% committed for an elective c-section. Actually, I just got it approved from my Dr a few minutes ago.

Thanks for the honesty (and potentially saving our marriage!)

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I am going to give 100% honesty on my experience because I want to help other women, as I was curious too. I am 4 years postpartum. I gave birth vaginally, and needed some stitches, and I can honestly say, my vagina feels no different than prior to birth. However....The first 6 months after, yes, there was a difference. My vaginal muscles were weak and I could barely squeeze them. There was more problems with air getting in there, and it was less tight. No, it was not a cavernous hole that could not feel anything. There was still friction and feeling for both my husband and I (and yes we openly discussed my vagina together, and have been pretty honest about it), but it simply wasn't as tight as prior, as we both noted.
By about 1 year later on it's own ( I rarely did kegels at the time, so this was just natural healing), after the deed my husband exclaimed how tight it was, and said it was definitely back to normal. I felt it was too.
3 years later I started exercising for health (no intentions of it doing anything for my vagina) and discovered my vaginal muscles became stronger. After research, I found out all those squats I had been doing to tighten up the derriere, were, in fact doing the same for my pelvic floor muscles.
I started squeezing during intercourse from them on (I actually find during the act is the most fun way for me to kegel), and the muscles are getting stronger with time. I do not think I could squeeze even this good before child birth, so for those saying everyone who delivers vaginally, never return, that's not true. If you can get in shape and build other muscles, you can certainly build your vaginal muscles, too. Those saying a c-section does not cause any problems, yes they actually can. The chances may be slightly less, but you are still burdening the weight of a baby on your pelvic floor for an average of 40 weeks, and that can and does weaken the muscles in a lot of cases. Being overweight, or aging can do the same.
I want to add, that there is such thing as trauma to the area and complications, so I am not going to say that all women return to how they were prior, just as I won't say all women who have c-sections won't have pelvic floor issues, because neither are true. Yes, some women have complications that need therapy/surgery, and yes some women who avoided a vaginal, find themselves with a prolapse, or pelvic floor issues due to being weakened. Some women who don't even have kids can be "loose."
I hope sharing my experience can help other's get a better understanding. My biggest piece of advice is do your research and that will help greatly. I have read men's opinions, women's personal experiences...I have found just as I have said in this reply. There are vast differences in the outcomes of these situations, and both good and bad experiences with vaginal problems were brought up with both vaginal and c-section's in my research.

( I forgot to add that looks wise, it looks the same as well. The entrance has a couple of white, barely noticeable scars from the stitches, and it may look a tad more rigid, but I think it looks like a normal one, and the entrance is the size of my pinky tip when not aroused).
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so you're suggesting that people undergo unnecessary major surgery, with all the associated risks to mother and baby, because they have unfaithful and superficial spouses?
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If a man was going to cheat on me because my vagina isn't the same after having a baby, then why be with him because he obviously doesn't really love me. That is just a ridiculous thing to risk your own life going into a major unnecessary surgery just to prevent a guy from cheating on you. If a guy's going to cheat on me, then fine, I don't want to be with him anyway.
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Well I need some help. probably sounds stupid but I'm beginning to be very depressed about this. I have one child that is two, and weighed 8.1 at birth. I had no ripping or tearing ( so tge doctors said). My sex life Is great I've never had complaints, ive even been told by a man who never slept with any other woman who's had a baby that I'm tighter than any one hes been with, which makes no sense to me because ive noticed a piece that does hang out of my vagina. it is making me feel like something is wrong with me and my body. can it cause any problems? what should I do? Someone help.
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I had labiaplasty a few years ago after being physically uncomfortable since I was 13. I have not had children yet and want a C-Section when I do so I don't have to redo the plastic surgery or get my clitoral hood reduced as well, which if stretched further than it is will also rub on my clothes and annoy me to no end. I'm "just right" after the surgery and don't want the risk of seeing how natural childbirth would alter that. I suffered many years of psychological problems because everytime I walked, I felt my labia rubbing against my pants. My gyno's solution: "Wear skirts/looser clothes." -DID NOT HELP! The constant annoyance often brought me to tears. Now that I had labiaplasty I dont think about "down there" anymore and feel sooo much better. For me, its not about "tightness," its about extra skin I've had which has annoyed me everytime I walked. Not everyone has this issue, and I'm sure it doesn't bother some people. I'd say, let people choose how they want to deliver. If they're vain about themselves, hopefully they'd be great mothers to their children. Why does it matter how you choose to deliver your baby? As long as your knowledgeable about risks on both sides, then go for it. The point is you want a child and hopefully are a great mom.
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My friend Cassie - had a naturally delivery of a 6 lb. 8 oz. baby girl - her significant other has complained ever since that her vagina is stretched out beyond repair. She notices a HUGE difference in her pre-birth vagina and post-birth vagina. I don't know about any of you, but I love my vagina and am determined to keep her the way she is. I am having a C-section - I will Dr. shop if necessary. If the vagina was designed perfectly to flex, stretch, and snap back then why are there all these horrific stories of women's vaginas being remarkably different after child birth and never returning to "normal". I am not willing to risk my sexual pleasure for the rest of my life, or my husbands for that matter! After all, he helped in creating the baby, I want his needs to be met as well - he has some say in what happens to our future sex life & our parts. More people need to be REALLY HONEST & CANDID.
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Avatar_m_tn
YOU DO have a choice on whether or not to have a C-section SeattleNurse. What bum **** middle of nowhere ****** *** hospital do you work at that doesn't offer a choice?
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Avatar_m_tn
Umm, because women DO have the choice SeattleNurse. What ****** *** rinky dink or specifically holistic hospital do you work at that you don't have the choice?
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Avatar_m_tn
Thanks for saying what others are afraid to. Men are the definitely the most honest on this board.
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Right on! There's way too many men who lie about it. Even though the men might just feel more comfortable because it's online and not in person..at least they're sayin it
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Avatar_f_tn
To the women that are posting on here saying they don't get it because their vaginas are exactly as it was before or better after they had their baby vaginally: that is good for you but you are missing the point. As you can see there are many women that have very different vaginas after delivering vaginally and those changes have often times lead to serious emotional and physical problems (and marriage/sex problems). Just because it didn't happen to you doesn't mean it hasn't happened to many people. Clearly there is good reason for concern.
Thank you thank you thank you to the men and women that have posted honestly and candidly on here. Before reading this post I would have most likely have decided on a vaginal birth and would have been fine with a c-section if the doctor decided but I would not have elected a c-section but now I am absolutely 1000% going to elect to have a c-section when I have a baby. I will take a scar on my abdomen and a little longer recovery time if it means I don't risk damaging so many other important parts of my body and life. THANK YOU for this forum.
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Avatar_f_tn
I wish I this had been here before I had my daughter.  I wasn't for or against either, I just wanted a healthy baby so I left the decisions to the midwife and doctor.....HUGE mistake.  These so called professionals have ruined me.  My vagina looks like a freak show, I never ever want sex, I can also fit 4 fingers in my vagina and I get so much air there in there it's like it's taken up breathing as well.  Not all of us were made for giving birth, all you natural birth advocates conveniently leave out that women used to die and often in childbirth.  Yes women have been having babies since the beginning of time, but a lot of them used to die doing it and if it wasn't for medical intervention a lot of them still would.  We're not all breeding machines and not all of us snap back into shape after having babies.  A lot of us are left scarred and dysfunctional in many ways.  If I had known what I was in for I would have insisted on a c-section, for me a scar isn't as big a deal as losing my sexuality, my ability to go to the bathroom properly, to exercise and the list
goes on.  I certainly wish that I had never listened to all the 'don't worry, everything will go back to the way it was' ******** you natural birth people rant.  Nothing has gone back to the way it was and I'm not the only one.  I was very fit and not overweight at all when I got pregnant and because of the damage natural birth has caused, I am so restricted in what I can and can't do that I can't do anything the way I used to.  Those kegel exercises are rubbish, they have done nothing for me.  I'm scarred, my body doesn't function properly  and I'm angry.  It's hugely irresponsible for people to be going around saying that everything goes back to normal and that a vaginal birth is the best way to go. For some that may be the case but there are heaps of us who have been very damaged by listening to that crap.
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Avatar_m_tn
I needed this. after looking and looking for information on whether I am going through something normal I have yet to find any information and then came across this thread. I just wanted to say that to the one time moms- little was changed about my vagina and I think the doctor stitched too tight. But my second (even smaller head and only 6lbs 9 oz) has left me with a lot of what other moms are talking about. I also only gained 25 lbs and I have more stretch marks and my body changed more than when I gained 45 with my first. argh. I am proud of my mom body- I love my boys-I know that there is no such thing as a supermodel perfected body. BUT. I am getting divorced and my vagina has been having sharp shooting pain and I honestly will probably go to the doctor besides just for appearances. Thank u fellow moms for the post. It is so reassuring.
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I am so disappointed in how some people have turned this into an argument. I am also disappointed that some people think since their experience went one way, everyone else's will too. Here is the thing about childbirth. (Im pregnant with my 5th so I think I know a little bit about this.) first and foremost, the absolute most important thing is that you come out of this healthy and alive and that your baby or babies are healthy and alive. secondly, there are pros and cons to both sides. so for all you mothers to be, listen up (I am not taking sides in the c section vs vaginal):
first a c section. this is a major surgery and as with any major surgery it may or may not go well. you may end up with serious issues in your abdominal tissue. you may not. you may have a huge ugly scar, or you may have a little incision battle scar. as for your vagina, obviously, it will remain the same. however, other situations can arise. for instance, the weakening of the muscles may cause your uterus to prolapse. it may stick a little past your cervix, or all the way out of your body. most likely it will stay right where it is at. also, the weight of the baby will put a strain on your vaginal muscles. most likely this will fix itself. it may not, and you will end up looser and weaker. don't sweat it. no matter what, relax, have the baby, then deal with the issues as they arrive.
now as for vaginal birth- you may tear at the perineum, or get cut, or you may not. for some you may have no change, for others just some abrasion. you may get looser, you may also get tighter! your vagina will most likely change in some way or another. it may not change at all. and, of  course, your poor vagina will get wrecked.
now for the men. it is unrealistic to assume that your sex life and partners body wont change. it is also unrealistic to assume that your sex life and partners body will be destroyed. as with the birth, you will have to wait and see what happens. every persons body, and every persons relationship, and every persons delivery is different. communication is important. if you have issues with your partners post sex body or vagina please please please try everything you can to resolve the issue before you do something to destroy her self esteem or your family. remember that you are with her, a human being, not a sex toy.
so please everybody... talk to your OB/GYN, midwife, doulah whatever. talk to your family! genetics plays a big part in what can happen. and above all, relax! what is going to happen will happen and stressing now wont help.
on a more personal note. I was one of the lucky ones with the vaginal birth. I had four babies. my vagina is totally different, but not wrecked. my episiotomy healed wrong and is hard on one side. the opening is loose, the rest tightened up to pre birth. (don't forget it takes up to a year before your vaginal muscles heal, so if your worried now, you may still have months before you know the actual damage.) on a more funny note... I was so proud of my all natural births and my pretty abdomen. then complications arose in my last pregnancy, and I ended up having exploratory surgery and an appendectomy. I gave birth with six inches of stitches in my side! so much for my pretty abdomen! no c sections and the worst of the worst scar with muscle loss. lol! see, you never know what will happen. karma bit me in the ***!
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Avatar_m_tn
So women should get a c section so that their men won't cheat?  That's pathetic and a very poor excuse.  If the man really loved her, he would love her no matter what her vagina becomes.  He should love her for who she is, not because she is a vehicle for sex.  The woman grows a baby inside her for many months, has her body change in countless ways, goes through birth, and then mothers the child including devoting most or all of her time, breastfeeds, and teaches the child everything she knows.  And her man is concerned about what sex will feel like post-baby?  Please. Is it any wonder more women are choosing to become lesbians.
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Life is not fair.  Let's not confuse loving someone with wanting to have sex with them.  Many women here have written about how they love their husbands but now that they've destroyed their vaginas, the sex is lousy (agreed upon by both husband and wife).

Unfortunately, if the sex stops, for whatever medical reason, marriages suffer immensely.  Ultimately it is a personal choice to keep you and your spouse happy in the bedroom.
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Avatar_f_tn
I'll be sure never to visit your Carpinteria yoga studio, Kristi C since you have such smack to talk about us so-called "hippy's" who choose not to drug our babies, delay bonding, and risk potential death (far, far greater than with normal, vaginal birth) by willy-nilly having a c-sect in order to 'save the vagina!'. You're probably married to a cut-happy, greedy obgyn or have some other ulterior motive! I birthed two healthy, beautiful babies naturally and my vagina went back to normal (yes, the bulge happened to me as well but went away after 6mo with first 9mo. with second). Ladies, vaginal birth WILL NOT MESS UP YOUR VAGINA! It will TEMPORARILY alter it, (a baby DID pass through there!). It takes a little time to get back to pre-baby but it does! It so does! STOP worrying and listening to these idiots who know nothing about the body and certainly nothing about the health and safety of having a drug-free vaginal birth vs. a slice-you-open-and-rip-the-baby-out-like-a-science-experiment cesarian section. Do your own UNBIASED research and stop feeding into all the fear and lies surrounding birth ladies! *******Remember there is LOTS of money to be made from birth and it's not the midwives making the $$$$$$$$$$
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Really? If you actually are in-fact a "seattle nurse," you're a rather dense one. Women SHOULD have a choice in this country as to how to birth their babies, unfortunately for MOST when they're healthy and they CHOOSE to go into a hospital they run the risk(s) of the myriad of interventions and bad outcome the minute they set foot into the very institution you're employed by. Although it's all set-up in such a way to make you and your associates to look like the heroes to most unthinking women and their families. Why the hell should elective c-section be an option? For cosmetic reasons? Convenience for the surgeon? Your husbands soccer schedule? (in the sad case of the Victoria Becum). You're right about one thing and one thing only, SeattleNurse, a safe birth SHOULD be everyones priority that's why you should stay the HELL out of the hospital. Unless of course you don't mind handing over your body and your unborn baby to the countless interventions you are likely to be subject to. Large percentages of women don't die in childbirth because of properly trained midwifes, improved sanitations and living conditions certainly NOT BECAUSE HOSPITALS SET UP AND STEAMROLLED THEIR WAY INTO  womens birthing experiences. Quite the contrary as hospitals and doctors they are responsible for the insane amount of women and babies who die every year in the U.S. The U.S. has one of the highest infant morality rates in the world. Look it up people! We're loosing more women and babies UNLIKE other countries (Iceland, Sweden, Norway etc. ) who primarily use midwives to assist women in birth. So, please do us all a favor and know your facts before spouting of what you think is information to the public.
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Avatar_m_tn
this is so funny to me because I'm 21 I had my daughter may 1st of this year naturally no epidural no pain meds and afterwards I had no complications whatsoever my baby girl is completely healthy and so is my vagina it's actually tighter than it was before and my husband loves it he told me himself even though ifelt it once we first had sex again thing is a lot of women don't wait six weeks before having sex that's why y'all vaginas are fcked up!!!! I barely did any kegel exercises so that's not why I'm tighter than before I almost feel like a virgin again yall freaks should have waited to get some and y'all va gg's would have bounced back!!!!!!!! Lmao!!!! #iwentnatural #ilovedit #naturalbreedqueen
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I know this thread is old but can I just say!!!!! THANKYOU!!! Yep i had a natural delivery with a 9 pound 11 baby. Currently 10 months post partum. Totally cheesed off with all this natural is best rubbish. I had an easy and quick labour but given what I know now I would have rather have had a c section. (They even suspected i was on for a big baby yet still let me go over 2 weeks.....)

It's all very well saying natural is best for those who have small babies but to those who don't it just isn't fair in my opinion. I don't have a partner now so it makes it even more depressing as I wonder how that intimate aspect of life will have changed now...It all 'moves' down there and of all the drs whove examined me since delivery none have never mentioned anything about rectocele/cystocele etc something which i suspect i may have......ANNOYED!!!  Im only 24 aswell.....
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Avatar_m_tn
Here is another forum on "looks" and the way the "vagina feels" after vaginal/C-section.  Here is something to keep in mind, there are many women out there that attempt to get pregnant and go through invitro, surrogacy, etc.  and some even still can't get pregnant.  So why don't we all give thanks and praise God because He has given us this beautiful privilege and gift of having a baby :-) Stop judging each other! If you had a C-section by choice or not (baby didn't position itself, or whatever the case be) it is irrelevant.  The most important thing is to be thankful for motherhood and be thankful that our children are born healthy!!! Pat yourselves on the back, women's body are so amazing.  Hallelujah praise God for He is good!!! :-)  And really, if you don't believe in God that doesn't change the fact that He is still God and reigns sitting on His throne so move on.   God bless you all.
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Avatar_m_tn
I used to be super loose was very unconfident in bed and was planning on getting that surgery done to tighten things up but i ordered something called the kegel8 and i am in no way endorsing this i tried it with the lube got decent results but then i stopped using the lube and used my natural lubricant that i produce naturally and then thats when my life changed my sex drive is through the roof and i orgasm like ive never in my life sex just feels so much better dont get down on yourselves find ways to fox yourselfs also alum its a spice i tried that it worked too and there r also tightening pills you can get off ebay i tried them all but i really like the kegel 8 its an electronic pelvic exercisor i actually tried the kegelmaster too but didnt like how big it was
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Avatar_m_tn
this is a ridiculous comment off you, your basically saying any woman who has a vaginal birth and gets cheated on its their own fault? all for perfection-ridiculous
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Avatar_m_tn
i completely agree with you about jaz comments
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Avatar_m_tn
your a mum and you "second that one" ridiculous, we women are designed for birthing babies and have done so for years
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Avatar_f_tn
Ladies, my husband wants me to get pregnant in the next couple of months, but I'm freaking out a little. I've always wanted to be a mom, but through adoption. I've never had the urge to get pregnant and carry my child. Since my husband wants me to get pregnant soon, I've been doing a lot of research and found this website. Of course the idea of my vagina looking like the "insides are coming out" freaked me out a little bit.

That being said, the change that you ladies experienced... Was it temporary and go back to be somewhat normal after a few months to a year or was did it change forever?

Thanks!
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Avatar_f_tn
I know this thread is getting it's not far off base from what many women are thinking. I am 40, professional and pregnant. My husband is not a large man and had commented (albeit he was a few drinks in) that I am not that tight now days as compared to when we first started dating over a decade ago. I know he loves me, but frankly, I don't relish the thought of our dear little one who is due in 2 months, making me any larger than I already am. I want a c-section as my Mother had both my sister any myself that way, back in the early 70's. I am perfectly healthy, and so is my sister, despite the lack of advances in medical/c-section technology over the past 40 years. My sister, however, suffered uterine prolapse after two natural vaginal births and had to get laparoscopic surgery to correct it. She has had incontinence issues ever since, but as there are so many vaginal mesh lawsuits out there from the incontinence surgery, she hasn't had that done yet out of fear.
I currently have great insurance but I won't by next year as my job contract runs out, so multiple post birth repairs are out of the question. Which is better? One surgery to get it right the first time, or many to test the "natural" boundaries of my 40-year-old bodies capabilities? I cant afford to be using Depends for incontinence while looking for a new job: I need to be a confident new Mom who can re-enter the job market without fear of peeing myself in front of clients. I have to provide for my family.
So yes, I want a c-section. I feel it's my choice. All the Natural-Birth-Natzi's can take their rants elsewhere.
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Avatar_m_tn
I discovered this thread awhile researching birth and the twisted information given by someone claiming to be a nurse is enough to give me nightmares.

What this supposed nurse fails to mention is that every body is different. He or she also downplays the risks involved with natural childbirth. What are one woman's chances of vaginal tearing, uterine prolapse, and recto vaginal fistula? Just because those chances are low in one case doesn't mean they're going to be low in another.

The nurse, if he or she really is one, also downplays the risk of birth injuries to the infant. What are an individual baby's chances of shoulder dystocia and other birth injuries?

There are natural birth fanatics who claim the vagina "snaps right back" after a birth. I sincerely hope nobody falls for that line ever again. If it was true sex after birth wouldn't be such a hot topic in womens' magazines and on mommy boards.

I'm eight months pregnant with my first child and the one thing I learned during this pregnancy is to insist on a C section under general anesthesia. I have scoliosis and I feel that's the safest delivery option not only for me but also for my baby. I've learned that even if I didn't have scoliosis epidural and spinal block both come with risk of nerve damage. In rare cases you can lose your ability to walk. What I want to see is a higher rate of C section and doctors not refuse them. I would also like to see midwives put out of business.

I've come to believe education is key to a healthy pregnancy and birth. The information is out there if you look for it. Doctors want to refuse a Csection but if the patient is insisting on one from the very beginning the doctor doesn't have a choice but to let you have it. Talk to a lawyer if you feel the need to.
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