Very off topic, so use as open forum if needed.

I am so frustrated.  Husband finally has admitted he is overweight (this has been an issue for a long time).  He is 265 at 5'10", and its mostly all in his stomach and hips.

He had to go to the doctor for something else, and had the courage to finally ask for help, a plan, medication, advice, or a nutritionist consult.  This is a man who wouldn't ask for help if he cut off his foot and was bleeding to death...so I know he must be very upset by his appearance and health.

The doctor told him to try EATING LESS in what was perceived as a sarcastic tone of voice.  This effectively shut him up, and he will never go back or discuss the subject again.  

(He eats what I cook at home, which is pretty healthy, but I can't control what he eats at work or while traveling, which is not.)

I thought in this day and age that doctors were supposed to help patients modify the things they could to improve their health.  I also investigated and found that our insurance does not cover any weight loss programs or nutritional counseling...but golly!  When you get to be morbidly obese--they WILL pay for your gastric bypass surgery!  YIPPEE!  Only about 40 more pounds to gain until the big day!  I'd better get cooking!

*Stamping off to make a cheesecake for dessert*

[Hopeful_1]

I haven't been around here very long. I mostly used to lurk so I hope you don't mine me commenting.

I'm sorry that your dh had to endure that kind of treatment when he was sincerely asking for help. I just had to comment on the way you always include humor in with your frustrations. It's hilarious! I really wish I could do that! I tend to get all freaked out and down in the dumps. You really are a great gal!

[nanakay]

one of my best friends was in a very bad place with her weight, at one point in time....she was very unhappy in her marriage and had nobody near to talk to (H was in the military so they were away from home) anyway....when she went to the doctor and finally broke down and asked for help (she is the same way about asking for help) she was told by her doctor that....at her age and weight that she would never weigh below 200lbs...
ok first of all she was only 26 years old. well it did upset her at first and she gained about another 10lbs but then it pissed her off and she ended up walking her way from 255lbs down to 180lbs. funny thing is, by the time she got to the 180lbs mark she had forgotten about the comment that doctor had made.
anyway i am sorry your dh had to run into one of the doctors that just don't think before they speak.....and maybe when he isn't traveling and your not working nights you guys could make a walking talking date....might kill two birds with one stone..just a thought.
~nanci

[Still_AndiJ]

Interesting dynamic, my dh is on the other end. The man eats like there is no tomorrow, consumes protein shakes daily on top of eating us out of house and home, his total calorie consumption hovers anywhere from 3000 on a slow day to 5000+ in a typical day. He is still only 5'8" and 137lbs. His family at one point thought I was starving him, how sad is that! Turns out he just has a killer metabolism.

As for myself, I lost 50+ lbs since having Tristan just by breastfeeding alone : ) I need to lose some more, but I cannot diet (need to keep up the 2500 calories for nursing, but I am watching the fat) so I am just exercising when I can. I take walks with MIL and have a recumbant exercise bike I ride when I can.

I am sorry dh had such a bad experience. Some doctors can be so inconsiderate and seems as if they don't care about their patients feelings.

My best advice is to keep cooking healthy foods and start walking. It is good couple time and is healthy for both of you ; )


Good luck!

Andrea

[Christie2004]

(Sadly)

I ask him every evening I'm home to walk with me (there is a lovely walk nearby, very isolated, about a mile each way).

He will never go.  "Too tired".

[Debra_Maine]

I strongly recommend your husband check out the Atkins or Suzanne Somers diet plan. With the low carb diet he can eat extraordinary amounts of food and still lose weight. Things like buffalo wings (fried without a batter), caesar salad, steak, veggies in butter, cheese. No weighing, no measuring. You just cut out sugar (use Splenda, it's just as tasty), no white flour or anything containing it and it's that easy. I did Suzanne Somers and I lost 24 lbs in 4 months for my wedding. It's not good for pregnancy, so I am doing a Weight Watchers type now, and I'm hungry all the time. On Suzanne Somers, I was never hungry and if I was, I'd just munch on some slices of ham, or any protein I liked. Check out the website, www.suzannesomers.com or you can email me directly and I'll answer any questions. I loved that diet and trust me, I will be on it as soon as I have a baby! I'm not worried about the pregnancy weight gain anymore because I know I will just do the low carbs and it will come off. Good luck :o)

[msjwilson]

As someone who has lost a fair bit of weight I know exactly what your husband is going through! It's a bit like giving up smoking you are often addicted to sugary or fatty food and you start sneaking stuff when nobody is looking!
If he's too tired to walk after work try going to a beach or a lake on the weekends and getting him to go swimming with you, or reserve some times for "alone" time and go "feed the ducks" in the nearest park, you could also try the excuse of needing to cut down on petrol and needing to walk to the supermarket or dairy (etc) just "trick" him into doing little extra things that he might not know is excercise!
Also pack him some sugar free lollies (not too many that defeats the purpose) and maybe pack him some fairly healthy lunches that don't feel like diet food, Ie, yoghurts, banana's, wholemeal rolls with chicken, low fat mayo and heaps of lettuce and tomatoes, even pack him a mini sized choccie car if it's something he can't resist!
It's the samll things that have to go first as you know, swap coke for orange juice maybe? Reduce sugar slowly in his cups of tea, or skim milk..
Basically, trick him into eating healthy without even knowing it, and also with a nice big packed lunch he won't be prone to snacking on those deep fried evils!!

P.s: Jacket potatoes with cucumber tomatoes and cottage cheese is very yummy!

[Debra_Maine]

It would help if I gave you my email :o) ***@****

[Debra_Maine]

In that case, there doesn't seem to be anything you can do. He has to want it badly enough to change the way he eats. I know your frustration though. Just try to be as supportive as you can. That's really all you can do. He'll beat himself up enough, you won't have to.

[Christie2004]

Thanks, but he also has fatty liver disease, and is supposed to limit fats.  I had him on South Beach for a while (and still don't serve white breads, potatoes, sugar-filled foods), but "someone" at work told him SBD is "dangerous" and now he won't go back on it.

Of course, he is NOT limiting his fat intake when not in my direct custody.

[chiquitilla]

Hi christie,
i guess i can sort of relate to your dh. i have been overweight since dd. i put on over 50lbs and kept them. i'm 22 5'2" 228lbs.
i know what it's like to have a loved one try to help you lose weight. my mother was always on me trying to help me lose weight for my health she was always trying to get me to get up  and exercise after i ate but was always "too tired" at times i would even get upset because i felt as though she thought i was fat and ugly which i probably am. even though i showed everyone that i didn't care about my weight on the inside i was always in tears. but i had the same porblem, i loved food too much. but it's true you have to want it bad enough to do it on your own. i guess it's just a menatlity thing since he know that you love him and that your are always watching out for him he figures he doesn't have to watchhimself but try turning things around and if he asks for something extremely greasy gicve it to him and give him more tha you know he can eat. you need to give him the impression that if he doesn't care enough to watch what he eats why should you. then he will see that he needs to do it on his own and most likely he will. this worked for me. just something to think about.

[Stacie30]

how did you keep from going down there and smacking that doctor upside the head? what an insensitive jerk.

i've seen a nutritionist a few times for my weight (have now lost 45 lbs but still have a long way to go) i make sure that i don't eat more than 1800 calories a day (most days its a little less than that) i've completely given up carbonated drinks (seems they just make you hungrier diet drink or not) i've quit eating out, and have stopped eating white bread (if i have a sandwich for lunch i have it on wheat). i still have a sugar snack if i really want one (am addicted to little debbie swiss cake rolls) but if I eat one I take it out of my calorie budget for the day. So far so good- and I don't feel like I'm on a "diet" because I eat whatever i want to when i want to as long as i don't go over my calorie budget for the day. Maybe your husband could try something like that. Easier to think of it as a "budget" instead of a "diet". I don't exercise all that much- walking 1/2 hour once or twice a week (should do more- but you know how it is)

I hope your dh doesn't give up permanently because dr was a jerk!