*********************WEDNESDAY'S OPEN FORUM************************

Hope everyone's day is great!

[silo]

UH OH!  We must have been posting at the exact same time, oh well, we'll just have two open forums today!  Glad to see you're still around.  How are you?

[silo]

OK, I'm totally losing my mind....HELLO! today's not Wednesday!  I'm so sorry.  What a moron!  Gotta blame it on the pregnancy, right?  I put the milk in the pantry last night and the box of cereal in the refrigerator.

[Danasel]

I don't know if this is ok to do on this forum, but I'll take my chances.  Please know I have the best of intentions.  I will be doing the March of Dimes walk with my three month old son on April 25.  Please consider making a donation in his name on the website  www.walkamerica.org/dereksel  Or consider walking yourself.  There are walks all over the country!!  Thanks!!

[BostTTC]

It's ok... we can use two of them... only thing is today is Thursday.. you put Wednesday... oops.. no biggie! Have a great day anyway!!!

[mani75]

Have a great day.finally its the last working day b4 long weekend'-)))im due to go for a blood test on monday to c if this months Ovulation did finally achieved the target'-)please keep in ur prayers..and Baby Dust to All..

[Still a mom]

I am a little upset about something I heard the other day. The person who said it was a Catholic and was saying that all babies that are not baptisted go to limbo because they are full of original sin.?. I think this is how they put it. I am not meaning to offend anyone who is Catholic, so if anyone on this site is please forgive me. I do not believe this. I do believe in God and believe that my child is in heaven with God and Jesus. If anyone is innocent it is all of our babies who died before they were brought into this world. Why would God sent them to limbo? This made me mad because I felt they were saying my child should be punished because he was not baptisted although we did dedicate him to the church and God at his funeral. I am just venting so please don't be offended by this.

[metallic_angel]

don't worry i dont think you offended anyone.  Im catholic and I wasnt offended.  I dont believe that babies that aren't baptised go to limbo.. how could they?? they are innocent of all sin... i dont totally agree with everything the catholic church says or does... i know your child is in heaven and i know you know even more so. Did you know i cant marry my fiance in the catholic church because he isn't baptised? isnt that foolish.. the thing i laughed at the most (sorry i hope i dont offend anyone whose catholic too) was before i got baptised and confirmed ( i was 18 at the time) i had to go through a "minor exorcism" all i could think was that i wasnt that bad lol. But on that note don't worry about it. I firmly believe all children go to heaven no matter what the circumstance.

Anna

[Kristen26]

Thank you everyone for your comments to me yesterday. I'm feeling better today. I appreciate your support so much!

[ni]

I think this is a touchy subject to bring up in a forum if you ask me.  Just like the abortion topic that was brought up the other week....I understand that it is an "open" forum but topics like these create somewhat of a tense environment.  I hope you are understanding where I am coming from.

[hther]

I don't think that is what that person meant, at least I hope not!! I am a Catholic and it's true, we are born with original sin. Sometimes children are still born or die shortly after birth, this does not mean they will go into "limbo" because they were not baptized. Baptism in the Catholic faith means you become a child of God, just as your confirmation (i was about 13) makes you an adult in Catholic Church and to God which makes you REALLY accountable for your actions. It is also true that the Catholic faith will not recognize a marriage outside the walls of it's Church or marry two people of different religions. I think that a lot of it is purely politcal. Note I said the Catholic Faith doesn't recognize it, not God becuase that part of my faith I don't believe in. I think that is purely Church guidelines.

I got married in Vegas, so according to the Church my marriage is not recognized and I'm living in sin according to the Priest I last spoke with. He was trying so hard to get us in that Church to remarry. Please don't believe everything you hear about religions. The Bible is open to so many interpretations. I firmly believe that all our lost children are with God. As for your friend, tell them tomorrow is a good day (Good Friday) to attend Mass, maybe they should go to clarify what they are telling people. I'm sorry that you had to hear that B/S. That's a horrible thing to say to anyone.

Hugs,
Heather

[metallic_angel]

i have a question... how do you introduce your dog (hes big 90lbs) to a new brn.... My friends bringing her 2 week old over... (and i think it would be good for me to know just in case =) )

[nanakay]

i have to say this probably is a taboo subject but i can't help it.
I went to catholic school as a kid, my husband was catholic I am Luthern.  my dh wanted to be married in the catholic church to honor his grandmother (a devoted catholic)  So I agreed, we were aloud to be married, however..we were told it was not MY responsibility to raise our children it was soley my dh's job to raise the kids. (because i'm not catholic)

anyway i agree with everyone, we are all born with original sin but i like the way my pastor puts the baby death thing.  Every child on this earth is born at on the day and time they were chosen to be born and to the people that God chose them to be born to. there are NO accidents, those babies that go home early...God just had a more pressing job for them to do at home.

i like to think of it that way.

~nanci

[Danasel]

I am Catholic and do not believe that babies who are not baptized go to Purgatory.  In my opinion, organized religion is man-made, and therefore flawed.  I am not putting it down, I had my son baptized and attend Church regularly.  However, anything created by man is flawed.  Therefore, I learn the rules of the Church, and take from it what I find true.  

I was told, although my son's baptism, did not follow this belief.  I was told that the "new" Catholic belief is that the child is not born of original sin, but born into a sinful world. The sacrament of baptism is to cleanse the child of the sins of our imperfect world.  I like that theory much better!  Don't worry, I don't believe there are too many people who still believe that unbaptised children will go to "limbo."  :)

[childatheart]

I have a big dog too....she is about 75 pounds, 1 year old, and lovably hyper.  We taught her to be gentle with newborns and little kids with a doll.  We would hold it in our arms and say "gentle....good girl" and give her a treat when she would sit at the feet.  My Hope reminds everyone of a very clumsy Marmaduke...so if she can do it...any dog can :-)  We only had to practice that 1 day and she caught on really quick.  Dogs have an understanding that I am amazed with.  Every dog I have ever had was wonderful with people and kids.  It sounds like you love and respect your dog so I am sure the feeling is mutual...they love to please their owners!  
Can u tell Im a dog freak!?  I even bought a new SUV so they are more comfy...and put their names on the back.  For thier 1st birthdays my Faith & Hope got Coach collars. Spoiled Rotten!!

[nanakay]

not to change the subject or anything...

If none of my visits are being covered by insurance and i want to see a different doc. (for travel and $ reasons, plus he has GOOD success rate) Do you think I need to be referred?

I'm gonna ask my original OB/GYN her opinion about this doc, because i value her opinion highly, but i just wondered what you guys thought.

thanks for listening

~nanci

[metallic_angel]

I think im a dog freak too lol i fill Dallas (my everything dog lol collie, lab, and chow) an easter basketa dn a christams sock.  Hes definitly spoiled and he wears the Harley Davidson bandana, woith his matching leash and collar.... lol spoiled rotten.  I do respect Dallas alot and he is intellignet (even if he pretends sometimes not to hear us lol) Thats an awesoem idea too! I['m gonna try it on him tonight!! it was something i was worried about because a breeder told me that chows have a tendency not to like babies. Thanks so much for the idea!!!

Anna

[nanakay]

one of my best friends has a black lab when her oldest son was born the dog was only a year old (you know how hyper lab puppies are)  he never had a problem he would lay with his head on your lap if you were holding the baby, then when Caleb got a little older and could sit in a bouncer he would lay his head on the foot of the bouncer.

of course now that i think about it, we were both pg at the same time and that dog would come put his head on yor belly while we were pg.  I guess he thought those were his babies.
dogs are amazing and as long as they are loved they will love right back

~nanci

[Kassimom]

I agree with danasal that the Church is man made and thus flawed. However, and most will disagree I am sure, I do not raise my daughter in a church or with religion. I read to her religious books and teach her about God and Mother Nature and the Angels. We do not beleive in Hell or Satan or demons. I teach her that God is an all-loving all-forgiving God and nobody He created can do so wrong he would turn his back on them in the afterlife.

Like I said, I am sure most will disagree, and that's okay. Please, don't post that you feel sorry for my child for not attending church however(I have heard that before). I have only this to say...God welcomes our prayers from our home as much as He welcomes those from a congregation.

So Still A Mom-There is no way ther your baby is in limbo or anything else. Remember, that as tiems have changed, religiong has changed and consider that older people in older religions still hold fast to older beliefs. A good response would have been to say "What an awful thought for you to have! I hope you will pray about that!"

[Kassimom]

Sorry just read your post!! When your friend brings her baby over, the FIRST thing I woudld do is ask if she minds if the dog is around the baby. Personally I ADORE dogs but if I had a teensy newborn and took him to a house where there would a dog not used to babies I would FREAK!!! If he has never seen a nwbrn he might get edgy when/if the baby cries! Just a thought! The mom might be totally relaxed and that would be great too!

I HAD to share this story!!!
My grandmother had a HUGE doberman when my dd was born and I went to stay at her house for a bout a week after she came. I slept in the recliner with the baby on top of me and Zues (the dog) would ALWAYS sleep at my feet. When my dd would cry, he would sit up and look at me till she stopped then he would lay back down. One evening, I couldn't get her to latch on and she just cried adn cried and the dog came and put his head on my tummy and started whining!! It was heartbreaking! He wanted the baby to stop crying! Also, if I brought my baby into the house with a blanket on, he would bark till I took it off or he would come and tug at it gently till it fell away from her face, then he would settle down into guard position at my feet!! I would lay her down on the floor on a blanket and he would lay right next to her and only me or my grandmother could get near her, nobody else! I was sad that my grandmother had to put him down shortly after my dd's 1st b-day butI am so glad we got pic's of her with him!

[p3cosa]

I understand that this disturb you but you have to keep your faith and know that your baby is with God.  I think that eventually, once a baby is born and if the parents both agree that they are strong Catholics and that they want to raise their children as Catholics that they will have to get baptized because this is one of the Sacraments.  Also the reason why you have to be baptized and why they are so strict in the fact that both individual have to have been baptized, have done their communion and confirmation is because: 1.They are all the necessary Sacrament before Marriage and 2. Your baptismal record is supposed to be updated once you are married to reflect the fact that you have been married in a Catholic church. Once you have been married in a Catholic church you cannot remarry again if you get a divorce.  Your baptism record reflects this.  

I just got married on 6/03 but we were having trouble because we didn't have my DH's baptism certificate because he was baptized in Puerto Rico.  In order for us to get married, we needed the actual baptismal record from Puerto Rico because the priest had told us that it was the only way they would know if my DH had gotten married before in a Catholic church.  I couldn't believe it and after we found the church that sent the certificate to us (after many many weeks), the last entry on the bottom is where it stated: Date of Marriage.  His baptism certificate was then updated after we got married and if something ever happens that we get a divorce then he nor I would be able to get married through the Catholic church again.

Usually babies are baptized before they turn 1 year old because of the belief that we are all born with original sin (again this belief holds true for strong Catholics) but if a baby unfortunately leaves us, like nanakay had mentioned, its because God wanted them with him in heaven and their role with Him are to be little angels--our little angels.  I believe that God puts us through many many tests to see if we can handle them and keep the faith in him or to see if we shun away from him.  I always tell myself that He will not put me through anything that He knows I can't handle and my m/c has only made me stronger.

My aunt and I were talking about my m/c the other day and she told me a little story that I would like to share with you.  She told me that when we lose our babies that God has them in heaven, in their own little garden were they all play and just have fun and that when we do, if we do, go to Heaven that we will be able to go the little garden and be reunited with our little ones.  We would be able to see how happy they are and how they would have been.  

God wouldn't of taken your baby from you if he wasn't going to keep the baby with Him :).

Sorry for such the long comment...I just thought it might help.

God Bless
Norma

[Still a mom]

Kassimom
Although I do go to church regulary I do not think you have to go to church to have a relationship with God. God hears your prayers wherever you are.

everyone
I am really sorry if anyone felt offended or thought I was saying anything against the Catholic church. I do appreciate the support I recieved but understand that for some this is a touchy subject.

[metallic_angel]

Thank you guys so much! I was really worried since he was so big. My friend doesn't mind the dog (she has three at hom lol all bulldogs) but i was just overly worried (of course) its good to know that big dogs can be so gentle with such little humans =)  And know that i've heard your stories and i think about dallas is always gentle and loving to me if im hurt or sick (he lies next to me and puts his head on my tummy) I'm sure he'll be fine. Thanks for helping me get over my fear a bit ( im still a little worried I can't help it but im sure if we restrain him with his leash , cause hes hyper too, until he calms down he'll just be curious)

Your advice was very muchly Appreciated
Thanks Again,
Anna

[mani75]

can i do a pregnancy check 4 days b4 due date, im due to go for blood test on Monday, just can't wait but also dont wanna waste any money on strip

[p3cosa]

I just wanted to tell you that I wasn't offended by what you said about the Catholic church and I hope that I didn't offend you or anyone who isn't/is Catholic with my comment.

I understand that it is a touchy subject but since you said you were so disturb by the comment you heard, I thought I would offer you some words of encouragement.

Again I am also sorry if anyone was offended by my long comment.

Norma

[hther]

If none of your current visits are using your insurance then most likely you will not need a referral. Are you planning on using insurance at the new office? I would call both offices and check just to be sure.

Heather

[thunder214]

This is so odd.  I just had this discussion with my Priest and Deacon.  I've been going to classes to become catholic since last September.  My Son (7), My Daughter (6), and myself (30 and 6 months pg) are all getting baptised this Saturday. AND since my husband already is a confirmed Catholic, he and I are getting our marriage convalidated on Sat. night.  Anyway, my Deacon said that the whole baby and pergatory idea is an old, old way of thinking that the Catholics did centuries ago and it's more "folktale" than anything now a days.  Of course babies go to heaven to be with God.  Anyone who thinks otherwise, needs to go to church, any church to learn about God.

I'm a bit nervous about Saturday.  It's a full Easter Vigil of about 1,000 people in our church that is expected to be there.  It's a candle light vigil so it should be beautiful, but to go infront of all those people...it's just scary!  

[nanakay]

no my insurance doesn't caver infertility treatment. at either office i will have to pay for the IUI and sperm wash.

it's just that this other Dr. is about two hours closer to me and he has great success rate.

of course i still have to wait for af to get here before contacting them. i don't want them to think i'm wierd.

thanks
~nanci

[nanakay]

you mean hpt??

if so then yes, just get one of those early response ones.

just know that they don't show up early for everyone.

hope that helped

~nanci

[nanakay]

hey did you get a due date yet?
i was just thinking about the fact that you weren't even sure when you were due
how are you feeling today, no more bad dreams i hope?

~nanci

[Kassimom]

Not to answer for capermom-but I beleive she said she is due 12/6! Isn't that exciting! We have so many Christmas babies coming this year!!

[Kassimom]

Never EVER feel like you are going to offend anyone here by bringing up something controversial. We are all adults presumably with open minds who can all discuss our beliefs about ANY subject without saying the other side is wrong. These discussions open minds and lets others see beleifs from different points of view (and I don't mean just about religion).  And in bringing up this subject it seems that it even helped you with a difficult comment that threw your faith for a loop temporarily. And there is no harm in that! Please, feel free to discuss anything in here (excpet politics!) (LOL J/K) Like I said, we are adults and can express our views without saying anyone is wrong for theirs. Isn't that the beauty of this great world? That we don't all think alike? :) I really hope you found comfort in all the ideas and beliefs that we shared here on the subject!

[nanakay]

thanks. you're right there are a lot of christmas babies.
i saw her post yesterday about her numbers that is wonderful, hopefully that will ease her mind a little.

[Still a mom]

I just got back from the cemetary and Jacob's stone was installed. It is so perfect. It is just what we wanted. I feel a little morbid being so excited about a tombstone, but it tells everyone that my son is buried there and I wanted it to be perfect. Just wanted to let you guys know.

[micheleB]

I don't think it's morbid at all. I think it's a perfect tribute, it lets everyone know that he existed and is missed greatly.  Perfect timing, just in time for Easter.  My thoughts are with you.

[nanakay]

i don't think that's morbid either!  I think it is great that they got it in before Easter.

Your in my prayers and i hope you try to enjoy Easter, your little guy is watching i'm sure of it.

hey you never know, one of my sisters friends  had lost a baby just like this, the next time she found out she was pg it was twins. I told her that her first child just didn't want to be born alone, she wanted some instant company.

~nanci

[blondie72]

Still a mom - Your baby is definitely in heaven.  Do not worry and also do not worry about this subject.  I really do get tired of seeing posts that say this is a touchy subject and it is offensive.  If it is that bad to you get out and read something else.  You lost a son and you want answers and this is an OPEN FORUM.  We are FREE to discuss ANYTHING!!!!!!!  You are still grieving and it had to be hard to hear your baby is not in heaven just because he was not baptized.  That is just what one religion believes (notice I said religion not just one person).  Hang in there and know that God will be waiting for you at the gates when you are called home and he will be holding your precious baby in his arms waiting to give him back to his mommy.

Kassiomom - Again do not worry about offending anyone or having people disagree.  It is your right as an American to believe what you want.  You do not have to be brought up in a church.  I was not and turned out OK (I think).  I am however a member of a Methodist church and had my daughter baptized there.  I personally believe that there is a hell and that if you do something terrible you probably will go there unless of course you are truly sorry and the Dear Lord knows that.  I believe he welcomes all who are truly sorry for all their sin.   You are still teaching your daughter about God and that is wonderful.  Well I hope all is still going well with your pregnancy.  How cool we are now going to have 2 kids who are the same ages.   Take Care to all & Good Luck to all.

[capermom]

Nanakay, yes, I've had that aweful dream again. It's just aweful. I think is caused from me worrying so much. Thanks for asking about me. I'm feel ok, really tired which is making me feel hung over or something. I don't know if it's from the pregnancy or just the fact that I haven't slept through an entire night in almost two weeks. I just keep waking up and tossing and turning and then I start thinking of all kinds of stuff. My minds races. Anyway. I'm all finished of one of my jobs and don't go back to the other one until June so I have lots of time to rest. It worked out great because I don't go back until I am about 16 weeks. At least I will be feeling good and hopefully everything will be going well. I'm actually afraid to look into the future or make plans in the case that something happens.

So, how are things with you? What have you been up to? Do you have any plans for the weekend?

[betty77]

IMHO - once you die, you die.  I don't believe in god or religion, it causes war.  You keep people alive in your hearts.  I was raised catholic went to bible camps and schools...Then once i grew up I saw the same people who go to church every Sunday drinking, swearing and 'sinning' the rest of the week through.  Please don't get me wrong, I don't look down my nose at those who need something to believe in, I just don't think we all float to a lovely place in the sky when our hearts stop beating.

[blondie72]

What does IMHO stand for???  That one has me stumped.  I am usually good at figuring those things out.  Just like I have said before that is your right to believe what you want.  If people believe in God then great if not well I don't want to say that's great because I do believe in him but hey if that is what you think then ok.  No one is here to judge you.  There are actually a lot of people who feel the way you do and that is your right.  Well take care.

[Kassimom]

Sorry-call me crazy but what does IMHO stand for? I really don't know.