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Waiting to miscarry
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Waiting to miscarry

Hey there, I was told Friday my baby stopped growing -- the u/s showed him/her to be at 5w5d. Im still waiting to miscarry. Ive had mild cramping here and there but no discharge or bleeding whatsoever. I have to go back on Friday for another u/s -- at that point if I havent miscarried, the doc recommends a D&C or medication to force my body to get it out. What do you guys recommend I do, the D&C or the medication? Ive heard so much **** about D&Cs Im scared sh!tless of doing it...but Ive also heard a lot of women recooperated rapidly from it and going on to having babies right away. This was my first time pregnant so Im basically scared I wont ever be able to have kids...any advice would be appreciated! Thanks!
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Avatar_n_tn
I am so sorry for what you are going through.  I had a miscarriage in March at 10 weeks but did not find out till I was 12 weeks.  I deceided that I would have the D&C because I did not want to wait till my body took care of it.  I recovered very well and I did not have any pain.  I bleed for about 4 weeks and started TTC again two months after.  I am now 12 weeks pregnant and so far everything is going well.  Just do what feels right for you!  Just don't give up and remember you are only given what you can handle!!
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Avatar_n_tn
Hello- I am s sorry for what you are going through. I have had 2 early miscarriages and I miscarried naturally both times. I was very glad I did it that way. Unless you HAVE to, I would recommend doing it naturally, rather than the D&C. A D&C is harsher on your body and mroe invasive. Plus I have heard some women say they feel like they have to deal with the guilt of - "was my baby really gone?" If you miscarry naturally, you know for sure. But you have to do what you feel is best.
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Avatar_n_tn
You have my sincere sympathy... I miscarried at 6 weeks two weeks ago today.  I can't answer your question about the D&C vs. the meds, as I had a natural MC.  I can say that I too started with just random cramps, but then woke up and started to bleed.  Went to the ER, and after a vaginal ultrasound, gushed blood and had the MC.  SO, maybe you too will still naturally miscarry, as you still have a few days until you have to make that decision.  I too was scared that I wouldn't be able to have future kids (this was my 1st), but after talking to a lot of people and my ObGyn, they all convinced me that through the MC, I should take comfort in that we CAN get pregnant-- obviously the tubes aren't blocked, and the sperm did meet the egg, but this time was just the "test run" for the future.  Again, sorry for your loss... it's an emotional rollercoaster, to be sure, but you've come to the right place for support and advice!
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Avatar_n_tn
I am so sorry for what you are going through.  Is it possible the doctors are wrong, or are you sure they are right?  I have heard of misdiagnosed miscarriages.  I have not m/c, but I do think if you get the D&C done, you can start ttc quicker than if you waited for it naturally.  Even if it is done naturally, they might still have to do a D&C if it didn't all come out.  Same with medication.  Again, I am so sorry you are having to go through this.
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Avatar_n_tn
hi, ia am so sorry for what you are going through. I also miscarried on oct 21st and it was the worst thing i have ever been through. my husband and i found out on oct 17th that r baby probally wasnt going to make it, and the doctor made us come back for a u/s on oct20th and confirmed that our baby didi not make it he gave me the choice of D&C or let my body do it on its own i chose the D&C, it was not bad at allafter i had it done physically i felt great. I had no bleeding and very little  cramping. If you choose to have a D&C you are not a bad person for makeing that decision. I chose it because i did not want to walk around with my dead baby inside of me. But i wish you the best of luck....
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Avatar_n_tn
Thank you all for your support and advice! Im still in denial...this pregnancy started out with bleeding, cramping and my hcg dropping. When I had an u/s the first time, they didnt find anything so I was diagnosed with a miscarriage. After that, more blood was taken to later find out my hcg level had increased dramactically and when I had another u/s done, there was the sac with the baby -- I was shocked!! The baby at the time showed to be 5 weeks, and according to my conception date I thought I would be 7 weeks but not really sure since I dont know the exact day I ovaluated. Anyway, when I got the bad news that the baby was still measuring 5weeks and didnt have a heartbeat, I was more than devasted. Its even worse for me since I still have all the symptoms of pregnancy. My breasts are still sore, Im urinating frequently, everything tastes nasty plus Im so tired all the time. I guess its because my hcg levels havent gone down yet. I really dont want to go thru the D&C but if its true the baby isnt going to be, I just want it to be over..this wait is horrible. Everytime I go to the bathroom I immediately check if Im atleast spotting but nothing..even the cramping I had 2 days ago went away. Im just going to wait til Friday to have another u/s...and from there I guess I'll decide. Its comforting though reading that I obviously can conceive since I did this time... Again, Thank you!
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Avatar_n_tn
Is that 5 weeks gestationally?  If it's not, then isn't 5 weeks pretty early to be seeing a heartbeat.  It could still be early, like you said, the doctor's were wrong before, I hope they're wrong again.
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Avatar_n_tn
I also went through a miscarriage and ended up having a D&C at 9 weeks. We tried Misoprostal prior to the miscarraige (miscarriage) but it didn't work. Sometimes they offer Methotrexate but I heard you should not try to conceive for at least three months after taking Methotrexate.
The D&C recovery wasn't too bad at all but they also did laparoscopic surgery to make sure I didn't have an ectopic. The laproscopic surgery was horrible. I had severe abdominal pain after that.
I did the D&C because I just needed to move on and all the experts were telling me that there was no chance. But I guess you have to see how you feel and make your own decision.
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Avatar_n_tn
I too had a miscarriage at 13w5d.  I was told that I probably lost the baby around 11w.  My OB, because I should have miscarried naturally at that point - said naturally wasn't an option.  We were offered the medication (not sure the name) or D&C.  That day is quite a blur to me but I don't think I would have changed my decision.  My sister-in-law used the medication - she did not want a D&C, she ended up in the hospital from losing too much blood and ended up having a D&C in the end.  So, D&C was an obvious choice for me.  Take the advice of these girls - they know too what your going through - for you own closure, have them do another u/s just to make sure.  I'm sorry you have to go through this.  Keep us posted.
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Avatar_n_tn
hey i just had a miscarriage on sunday.  i went for 12 week scan last monday and there was nothing in the sack so they told me i might miscarry.  they told me to go back on tuesday (today) if nothing had happened by then and they will see if anything has grown inside me.   it happened itself and it was the most horrible thing ever.  i went straight into the hospital on sunday and had a d&c.  i think this was the best way to do it as you know the baby is definately gone but that you do not have to worry about it all being gone or not or if there is still some inside you. now, the bleeding is very light but just in some pain around my arms back stomach and throat.  but i still think it was the best way round it
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Avatar_f_tn
I lost my first baby and had a d&c. Then I lost my 4th baby and I waited and miscarried naturally. For me the one where I waited and did it naturally was much easier on me emotionally. D&C's are really nice and its over with fast but my grieving was alot worse. Something about it happening naturally helped me deal with it while it was happening. Also when I had the D&C I always wondered deep down inside if they were mistaken and everything was really ok.

I know many girls that lose their first babies and then have a healthy baby with their next pregnancy. I was so scared after my first loss that I wouldn't be able to have kids. I know what you are feeling. I am now 20 weeks pregnant with baby #5.

I am sorry for what you are going through. You will just have to decide which is the better way for you. This is just my experience.
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Avatar_n_tn
So sorry to hear that.  I m.c on 10/23 my second pregnancy.  It was my first m.c through.  I was 6 wks along.  I did it naturally which was fine with me.  Again I am very sorry your going through this.  (((HUGS)))
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Avatar_n_tn
i had miscarriage at 7 weeks gestation (my first pregnancy)it happened naturally. hardly any cramps and very little blood.  even lighter than a period.  i didn't even go through more than one pad a day. so if your scared to miscarry naturally don't go by all the stories you hear.  i would wait and have another ultrasound.  there's lots of people who were told to have a D+C because they miscarried and went on to have their babies.  so for peace of mind i would wait.
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Avatar_n_tn
i always try to tell ladies with these types of posts to get a second opinion, there are sooo may women out there who almost aborted their baby without knowing becasue the were told they needed d&c cause they were miscarrying. wait until ur next u/s and see make sure u look at the u/s as well and if u are not still sure get a second opinion, pregancy this early that ends in misscarrige usually doesnt take very long to come out on its on, if u are 5 weeks then it may flush out in about 1 week or so but every woman is different. i dont want u to have to go through a miscarriage seeing all that blood and all but i would get a second opinion before doing the d&c hope this post reaches you in time. best wishes d's mom! XXXX
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Avatar_f_tn
We're in the same boat unfortunately. I found out yesterday that there was definitely no heartbeat anymore. I would have been 10 weeks today. We did see a heart beat last sunday, but.... So right now I have been given the 3 options of taking the meds to induce the expulsion, waiting to go  naturally or a d&c. I decided to wait a week and am booked for a d&c next tuesday. Hopefully I'll go natural in the meantime but my doc feels that this far along I'll need a d&c anyways as it's hard to expel everything at 10 weeks (?). Good luck to you and I hope all the posts will help direct you in making the right decision during such a hard time.
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Avatar_n_tn
I'm sooo sorry to hear this sad news. :-(
All I can say is that you'll be in my thoughts
and prayers too.  I know you must be
devistated.
Your little one was just destined
to be an angel instead.
Hugs,
Cherie
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Avatar_n_tn
i just came home this morning from a dnc and it only took 15 minites i went in at 9 and came home at 1 after i woke up but the surgery only took 15 min it hurt a little bit but nothing bad they give you alot of medication and your asleep the whole time i heard from my doctor that it makes ur period go back to normal and is more safer so you dont get an infection havent really bled that much so hopefully i dont bleed that much but im hoping i get pregnant as soon as possible because i want a baby so bad so cant wait to here i can try again if i had to do a dnc again i would its not as bad as every one says atleast not so far :(
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Avatar_n_tn
Hi everyone.  This forum has really helped me.  I am currently playing the waiting game....  My husband and I have been 'inactively' trying to get pregnant for a few months--- just not playing it safe... but not really calculating any dates or anything.  We already have a two year old daughter and she is the light of our lives.  Well, about three weeks ago or so I took an early pregnancy test which came back positive.  In the following couple of weeks I took several more and was indeed pregnant.  However, late Thursday night (two nights ago) I spotted a little bit of brown.  Overnight nothing else happened and I thought it was ok.  However, mid morning yesterday I started bleeding more heavily and red in color.  The bleeding was not heavy enough to soak through a pad --- but heavy enough to see on a pad after an hour or so.  I went to the dr and they did an ultrasound and a blood test.  The ultrasound showed a small sac (too small to see the baby or anything) and the dr said that if this is a miscarriage she will not know until after a second blood test and probably a second ultrasound.  As of yesterday though everything seemed fine.  She said the bleeding could be implantation or old blood that just chose now to get out of my uterus.  She also said that if it is a miscarriage there is nothing that can be done about it... just happens.  Anyway as yesterday progressed and today has wore on the bleeding has increased and turned clotty and mucousy.  I am pretty sure in my heart this is a miscarriage.  I go back early Monday morning for a second blood test which will tell me later that day what is going on with the HCG levels.  I took a early response pregnancy test this morning and it was much fainter than it was before--- to me this indicates the HCG levels have dropped.  :(  

This is such an awful thing.  My first pregnancy was normal and completely uncomplicated.  My sister, mom, and paternal aunt have all had fertility problems in their late 20s-early 30s (endometriosis) --- I am only 26 but have alwyas felt like I should hurry up and have another baby or I will lose my fertility window.  This is awful... I know in my heart the baby is not there anymore--- but after seeing the little sac on the ultrasound--- this is way harder.  

To all who have shared--- thank you... this has gotten my through a stressful and depressing day.

Susan
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Avatar_n_tn
Susan,
Wow.  I have had 3 miscarriages so far(am pregnant now-#4) but your posting had an "effect" on me.  I wish us women could have our own private doctors who were there for us when ever we wanted ultrasound or blood tests done while we are pregnant because sometimes our intuitions are correct and the worrying, waiting for the office to open after the weekend, or a holiday, or for an appointment, is almost too much to bear.  By now we know that miscarriages are more common than previously thought and that you can't stop one that's in progress.  Doctors see them all the time and try to calm you by saying that they are common and that waiting isn't dangerous.  For women I don't think it is supposed to be a common thing to get pregnant just to sit around and lose it on our own, while remaining calm.  We cannot see the baby, hold it in it's last moments, kiss it goodbye.  The least they could do is let us see as much as we can until the troubling thoughts are eased.  Some may not want to do this but for those who need it, it should be possible.  And true, it may not be harmful for a dying baby but for a mother waiting to see if her child is going to die but not being able to know exactly what is going on, it could be suicide!  I certainly hope you do not have to go through this.
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Avatar_n_tn
Hello all,

I started bleeding slightly 20th October, had a huge stuggle to get seen by Dr but over weekend bleeding got slightly worse.  We ended up at hosp 11pm Sat night.  Had internal and told all ok.  Scanned me and said could see h/b, but to come back Monday.  Went back Monday with 2yr old daughter as thought things would be ok to be told baby been dead for 6-7weeks!!!  We were totally shocked and deceided to see if things would happen naturally over the next week (by this stage bleeding had stopped and I had NO pain).  Went back on the Mon and had two scans to confirm that no h/b and def no growth.  My uterus had carried on growing so I still had all preg symptoms, I couldn't cope with waiting any longer so decided to opt for the D & C. I was terrified as never had a g/a before.  It wasn't nearly as bad as I had imagined and I only bleed for 3 days.  My sex drive has gone into over drive and I am hoping to get preg again very soon.  Haven't got a clue when period due so all a bit scary.

I am so sorry for all of you having to go through this but all I can say is you have to do ehat is best for YOU.  I hope that things do become easier and my thoughts are with you all x x x
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Avatar_n_tn
My first pregnancy I m/c at 6 weeks. I bled for about 3 weeks and the bleeding stopped. It started up again a few days later. After a few weeks of this I went back in to the doc and they said they would try a d&c with medication (birth control pills). That didn't work. They scheduled me for a surgical d&c. I was devastated about the loss but at this point it had been dragging on for so long. The day of my scheduled d&c I went in. They got my IV all set up and had me ready to go. My doc came in and asked what my hcg level was. The lab tech said he never ordered one and the doc insisted that he had. They did another hcg level check and they found out that my levels had gone up. They had me go in for an ultrasound and found out that I was 5 weeks pregnant again. Apparently when the bleeding had stopped for a few days and my husband and I had sex, I got pregnant immediately. The doc said that's because immediately after a m/c or delivery your hormone levels are so high already that your body is more favorable/acceptable to pregnancy right away. In other words, you are extremely fertile immediately following a m/c. I thank God everyday that my doc asked for the hcg level that day because otherwise I would have uknowingly aborted my son, who is now 22 months old. I am pregnant again with my second child and am about 12 weeks along. So far so good. I go in this week yet for an u/s to confirm a heartbeat. I'm so sorry to hear about everything you're going through. I've been there. Just have faith in what your heart tells you. If you want proof before doing the d/c or medication, just request that your doc schedule you for one last u/s  for your own piece of mind, do it. Whatever feels right for you and your husband you should try to do. I wish you the best.
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Avatar_n_tn
Hi everyone.  I just found out last Thursday that at 8 weeks, my baby lost its heartbeat.  This has been devastating and I wanted this to happen naturally, but so far nothing.  How long do you think it might take?  I am off this week and have a D&C scheduled for Monday.  I really wanted to miscarry naturally so that we can try again right away.  How long do you have to wait to try after a d&c?  Is it dangerous to try sooner than 2-3 months?  Thanks for your help.
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Avatar_f_tn
We found out we were prego on dec 6th 2011, after a yr and a half of trying I'm 35 yrs old and my first time getting pregnant I was in total shock ,  I felt nausea and my boobs were getting sore and heavy , I would get period cramps & back pain late at night , and only at night when I was laying in bed , after my husband and I had sex I would notice - a spot just a tiny spot of blood on my sheets I called some friends and they all assured me it was fine nothing to worry about if it was that small . On Sat dec 17, again my husband and  I had sex and and a littl pinkish discharge with a really bad smell it was gross no blood to, we cleaned up and went to sleep , woke up Sunday morning around 11:30 am and I felt wet between my legs so I got up and ran to the bathroom once I sat o. The toilet a gush of blood gushed out of me with a huge blood clog , my husband took it out and looked at it was a a blood clog so we got ready and went str to the ER they checked me and said my cervix was still closed baby had not passed they did an ultra sound both tummy and Vagi, turn out the baby had no heart beat according to the ultra sound , my Hcg levels dropped from 11546 to 564 which the ER doc said I will have an invevitable miscarriage in the next few days. The bleeding stopped , I had cramping later on that night & back pain but no bleeding not even spotting , the next morning which was Monday morni g woke up same time 11:00 am and I felt wet again ran to the bathroom and another round of bright red blood gushed out of me with  3 or 4 blood clogs checked me all again nothing but dark black blood clogs after that again no more blood , than cramping again at night time no spotting or blood what's so ever meant with my dr. On thru , and he didn't even  check me he's already talking about getting a DNC which I refuse to get he did not check my hcg levels or send me for an ultra sound he checked me and said my cervix is still closed and no need to get blood work done if the ER dr. Told me the baby had no heart beat , I told him fine I'll get back to you if I decide I want a DNC. Today is one week later no pain just a little spotting when I wipe the inside of my V. I don't know what to do I still feel nausea when I drink coffee and I'm hoping if I did miscarry my body will do it natually , please let me know if anyone has been through something like this ... I feel like my bodys is out of wack . When we fou d out I was prego my hcg levels said I was 6 to 7 weeks had the ultra sound and 8 weeks but I have Irregular periods and I know my dr. Was way off ... I thinki was more like 3 or 4 weeks  but hcg levels showed 7weeks ... God bless and my prayers are with all of you whom have gone through this losing a tiny lil baby that is wanted more than anything in the world hurts and it's painful , god bless us all ...
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