We're 19 and at different universities

On 10/23 my girlfriend had her period, we were intimate without reaching orgasm on 11/6. On 11/15 she randomly had headache/stomachache/hurting eyes. 11/18 her nipples began to hurt. Is she possibly pregnant?


so far she 1.) has NOT had any food cravings, 2.)her nipples have NOT darkened, 3.) i do NOT think she's been implanting, 4.)she has NOT been urinating more frequently, 5.)she tells me that she HAS NOT been too hot or hotter than ambient, 6.)she HAS been fatigued recently, though she's not one for sleep anyhow,  7.) it's not time for her period yet,  8.) her nipples were not more dark than usual, 9.) apart from the random headache/stomachache/burning eyes she had on 11/15 (which died down soon after and was

I know that this is a touchy subject, but how would we go about an abortion if, in fact, she was pregnant. We're still in college and I understand we should have used protection or shouldn't have done it at all. I'm just really scared and it's killing me.

[Aprilffi]

I got my pregnancy test at the .99c store believe it or not! It said I was pregnant. We had been trying, but since I paid 99 cents my husband and his mother didn't believe the results. The next day we went to the doctor and I peed on a very similar looking stick as the 99 cent one only it cost a lot more and it verified again that I am pregnant. We found out that FALSE negatives sometimes occur with those urine tests but FALSE positives are rare. I am happily 18 weeks pregnant now. I am waaaaaaay older than I ever thought I would be as a mom and frankly didn't think I wanted to have kids till I got to an age where I thought it might no longer be an option. The want what you can't have syndrome hit us and we decided to at least TRY in a very unscientific manner and low and behold we are going to be parents now. I am not saying if I were your age I'd have an abortion as I never had to face your situation in life... thank God, but I will say I think it is great to get your education and get a job and save a few bucks and TRAVEL and see the world and then save again and when you are ready... if you can ever really BE ready, then start a family if you want one. I do have to say the timing on when you had sex does seem like a fertile ovulation time period, but like I said I'm not expert. When I got pregnant I experienced SORE breasts, which I never have had before and felt pre-menstrual. I just get thinking I was going to start my period. I have had some blurry vision in the morning since being pregnant but maybe it's my age. Who knows? Good luck again. Always wear a condom even if the girl SAYS she is on the pill. She could miss the pill by ONE day or even a few hours and it could throw off the whole protection thing... not to mention herpes, genital warts, chlamydia, aids and all those other contagious sexually transmitted diseases. Be safe and always wear a condom till you want to be a baby's "daddy".

[Beccabb]

I'm 20 weeks preg not had any craving not got darker nipples, not every girl will have every "symptom" when is her period due? And as for abortion I dint know cos I've never had one, it's a good sign that her temps have not increased, also I didn't start experiencing cramps until I missed my period!

One lesson to learn here is stick something on the end of it n not be stupid!

[Beccabb]

Oh n as for testing I found first response are reliable, there could be a good chance she is preg

[enigmaticas]

So she could be pregnant even though i wasn't even close to finishing? Her period is due in a couple of weeks. I've never prayed for anything so hard than her period to come soon. Thanks for your answer Beccabb. I don't even think she knows, I'm just scared and I don't want to put any undue stress on her until I know for sure... =\

[Aprilffi]

She could definitely be pregnant w/o u finishing. Some sperm is always around, so wear protection. It is probably too late for the "After Pill" but I would go to a local pharmacy pharmacist and ask them about it. It rids early pregnancy and should be over the counter available. A pregnancy test won't likely tell u she is pregnant till a week after her missed period. An abortion is an option. I recommend u call a local "Planned Parenthood" as the fees r sliding scale based on your income. They can inform u of ya'lls options without judgement. Your baby's life is in your hands now because of a lack of prevention. This is a hard lesson 4 u both. I hope u learn n I hope she is not pregnant for all your sakes. Good luck.

[peekawho]

Plan B, or the morning after pill (really a misnomer since it can be used for several days after unprotected intercourse), does not "rid early pregnancy" as another user suggested.

It prevents conception and pregnancy.  

[peekawho]

And as for pregnancy without ejaculating, it is possible, but unlikely.  Notice I did say possible, though.

If her period is late, she should test, using a sensitive test and a first morning urine.  Good luck.  

In the future, never, ever allow penile/vaginal contact without protection.  Ever.  Not once.  Not until you are ready for children.

[enigmaticas]

Thanks aprilffi. Yea it's really taking a toll and I have definitely learned my lesson. Yea I'm intending on going to Planned Parenthood when we're together again for thanksgiving break. I appreciate your answer. I think it's too late for the morning after pill, usually a 72-hour answer...

[enigmaticas]

do you recommend any pregnancy test in particular? thank you for your advice. I 'm definitely scared from this experience. her period SHOULD start within a week or so....

[waitingwithhope]

I agree that it is possible, but unlikely she is pregnant. Remember, even worrying or stressing about it can cause symptoms or make someone more sensitive to every change. As far as abortion, if she is pregnant, there are also other options including adoption or open adoption. This would allow for both of you to finish school but allow for your child to someday go to university & school himself or herself. In scary moments, abortion sometimes seems like the only option but do think through everything carefully should she be pregnant-every decision will have pros and cons. Good things can come out of bad situations/decisions...sometimes the best gifts are the unexpected ones. Even if it is hard, you could make another couple very, very happy by providing them with a gift they would never have gotten otherwise. That all said, chances are, it is unlikely she is pregnant. Wait until she misses her period, use first morning urine & a sensitive pregnancy test. Until then, don't stress but plan for the future- how you'll avoid this situation. Any sex can lead to conception- even when people are trying to be careful. It sounds like you've learned through this and will make different choices in the future. Best of  luck.

[enigmaticas]

Thank you for your response.

I understand that abortion is a very touchy subject for anyone... But if we were to go through with this pregnancy, her education experience would be hindered, our families would outcast us, and we're already taking out so much in loans for schooling that it seems impossible to handle.

that being said, I understand that if we had an abortion, we'd be taking away the chance for another person to go to college and that another couple could have our baby, but as a human, we tend to look out for our best interest. I apologize, but i do not think that this will be the route we go.

again, thank you for your response =)

[Aprilffi]

I got my pregnancy test at the .99c store believe it or not! It said I was pregnant. We had been trying, but since I paid 99 cents my husband and his mother didn't believe the results. The next day we went to the doctor and I peed on a very similar looking stick as the 99 cent one only it cost a lot more and it verified again that I am pregnant. We found out that FALSE negatives sometimes occur with those urine tests but FALSE positives are rare. I am happily 18 weeks pregnant now. I am waaaaaaay older than I ever thought I would be as a mom and frankly didn't think I wanted to have kids till I got to an age where I thought it might no longer be an option. The want what you can't have syndrome hit us and we decided to at least TRY in a very unscientific manner and low and behold we are going to be parents now. I am not saying if I were your age I'd have an abortion as I never had to face your situation in life... thank God, but I will say I think it is great to get your education and get a job and save a few bucks and TRAVEL and see the world and then save again and when you are ready... if you can ever really BE ready, then start a family if you want one. I do have to say the timing on when you had sex does seem like a fertile ovulation time period, but like I said I'm not expert. When I got pregnant I experienced SORE breasts, which I never have had before and felt pre-menstrual. I just get thinking I was going to start my period. I have had some blurry vision in the morning since being pregnant but maybe it's my age. Who knows? Good luck again. Always wear a condom even if the girl SAYS she is on the pill. She could miss the pill by ONE day or even a few hours and it could throw off the whole protection thing... not to mention herpes, genital warts, chlamydia, aids and all those other contagious sexually transmitted diseases. Be safe and always wear a condom till you want to be a baby's "daddy".

[enigmaticas]

Your eccentric personality has really lightened my mood and made me smile. Thank you.

Yea, my girlfriend LOVES the 99c store so probably that'll be our choice. We would really like to do those things... see the world, get stable jobs, save for the future. hopefully it'll all just pass...

she told me that her NIPPLES only were 'burning' but she later conjectured that it was because she was wearing a rough shirt without a bra on.

Thank you again aprilffi, I don't know what you did, but you've calmed me down a tad. Good luck on your pregnancy!

[waitingwithhope]

Hopefully for you guys, the answer ends up being that it was a false alarm. It is wise to finish schooling, get a great job & house and stable before having a baby. That said, accidents do happen (even when you try your best not to!) so, you always have to think of the "what ifs" just in case (and protect yourself as well, of course). Deep down I still believe that while it would be very difficult to carry a pregnancy that is not wanted and highly inconvenient, never do something for the sake of what others will or won't think-do it because your heart tells you it is the right choice. And, everyone has to make their own decisions for themselves-no one can put themselves in someone else's shoes and pretend they know exactly all the variables. I must say, though, it is sad that your families would abandon you when a mistake is really a mistake. And, no baby is really a mistake-there are lots that are "bad timing" and "unplanned"  and "mistakes in choices" but no human is a mistake-there is a purpose even in the most trying of situations. I do hope though, for you guys, that you don't have to make any gut-wrenching decisions and that all is well. It would be a very slim chance she is pregnant based on your description of events. Keep us posted.

[enigmaticas]

I sure hope that it is a false alarm. There's a lot of cultural and religious matters that are coming into play from both of our sides which would turn out very poorly for us. Education is very important to us and we are trying to get our degrees. We're both working and taking out loans to pay for our education. The pregnancy is a result of a mistake that we both made, and this is understandable.

so far, she has not had any "morning sickness" episodes since the first ones on monday of this week, she feels fine in fact.

Thank you for your input and care waitingwithhope.

[waitingwithhope]

Still sad that culturally & religiously that there is not forgiveness, understanding or love. Everyone in life makes mistakes...that's part of life and part of learning & growing up. Anyway, do keep us posted. It would be super early for her to have morning sickness at this stage anyway ("normally" it kicks in around 6-12 weeks before it lessens) so it could have been a flu bug. Also could be nerves- remember, it is easy for a woman to see symptoms or experience things more acutely when they are looking for it or worrying about it. This also can cause a cycle to be late too. You're probably both fine, just a bad scare & something I'm betting won't happen again since you are both focused on your education.

[enigmaticas]

Well, the thing is, she doesn't suspect anything and i haven't told her... It's midterm season, so she's been studying her a** off and has a research project due soon, so i deemed it not necessary to scare her with something that might not even exist, y'know?

She explains her "morning sickness" from food she had the day before
her nipples hurting from her bareness against her rough t-shirt
and finds it weird that she craved a cheeseburger that one day.

[Aprilffi]

Haha... She finds it odd all these things. Trust me, as a fellow woman, she is afraid she might be pregnant and that is why she is conjecturing all the things in front of you. She is prepping you and herself in the worst case scenario. The boobs were the only really strong indicator I thought but her explanation makes good sense. You should assure her that in the future you will always wear protection, and that if she is late getting her period that you want to know. I wouldn't bring up your abortion thoughts unless you get to a point where it is something necessary to discuss due to a positive test outcome. A woman just wants to know you love her and are willing to take responsibility in the worst case scenario and that you support HER decision on keeping, adopting, or aborting. The fact is it is her decision and your opinion is the only influence you may offer but I wouldn't push her too hard with it. SHE is the one that really has to live with her decision and conscience and consequences to her body and spirit-- so be cool. I think she will get her period and everything will be okay. Wait one week from usual period start date to get the 99c test. I'm glad I cheered you a bit. Trust in God and the universe that you are not given more than you can handle and relax some more.

[enigmaticas]

You truly are a blessing. Thank you for cheering me up even more.

I truly hope that we won't be given more than we can handle... and yes, I do understand that it's all her decision. Again, thank you SO much. You've helped ease my mind. May God bless you in all that you do.

[Aprilffi]

Thanks!

[enigmaticas]

THANK THE GOOD LORD! SHE STARTED HER PERIOD!

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT/ADVICE

NO PENETRATION WITHOUT CONDOMS, GOT IT!

=)