What do you think about baby shower for subsequent pregnancies?
This is my 2nd pregnancy and my mil wants to throw me a baby shower. I don't know whether I really want one. We have quite a few baby clothes left over from my son even though this will be a girl. I really don't want my friends to think I'm smooching off them. I guess it's worst because I'm the first of my friends to have a second child. A lot of them are either just starting out (just got married) or starting to have families now. Don't get me wrong I loved my 1st shower and we got really spoiled but I don't want people to think that all I want are gifts. I was actually thinking of maybe having a meet and greet after the baby is born with no obligation to bring anything. What do you girls think? How do I break it to my mil. This is her 2nd grandchild and she can get a little overboard. A lot of my friends have already said they would have no idea what to get me. Honestly all I really want are food coupons/gift certificates this time around since we already have everything. How do I please everyone?
i think given that it is a different gender, it is almost expected. I felt weird when my MIL threw me one when I had my second son. Of course many other factors made that a shower from hell, but I let her off the hook with this one and told her i didn't need one for this one as I already had just about everything we needed.
If someone wants to throw you one, graciously accept it : )
If I ever get pregnant again it will be my fourth and yes I will have another baby shower. if they want to come fine and if the don't fine too. its okay. just ask them to come celebrate with you. presents optional...
you can turn it into a luncheon kind of party.. Like a celebration of this pregnancy. I believe each baby deserves to be celebrated on his/her own. If people ask where you are registerd just tell them that no gift is needed... if they say what do you need.. simply state girly outfits and bath producks and such. Maybe you can get a new carseat for her. You can kindly tell your MIL that you want a pregnancy celebration intstead of a baby shower.
either way it would be nice to have your friends/family all together to celebrate the pending arrival of your precious daughter.. COngratulations!
I love the idea of it being a celebration of the pregnancy than a shower! I had a m/c right before this little one so I have a lot to be thankful for and I cherish this time so much more. Even though no one knows I had a m/c the concept of it being a celebration means much more to me. I will throw that idea to my mil when she sends the invites. Thanks!
Let your MIL throw you a baby shower and make her specify that since you guys have most of the stuff, gift card from such and such place would be appreciated. Remember, your friends will like you no matter what and you do not want to pist your MIL! I am having a second B-shower too. Just do not have as nce of a MIL as you do! Good luck!
It really depends on how close the pregnancies are together. I don't think most people have second baby showers unless the babies are really far apart.
A meet and greet get together after the baby is born sounds like a great idea to me.
It's kind of expected to bring a gift to a shower although people will probably still get you gifts for this but not feel obligated to.
Most people i know have a shower with every baby. Even though you have one, there are things that you still my not have. Plus, like you said, you're having a girl this time. No one wants to dress their little girl in boy clothes! lol. I don't see anything wrong with having another shower. But that's just me.
I will have a shower with my next baby IF I ever get the BFP! LOL! My son will be seven in October so I really don't have anything left except his old crib. I've also gotten divorced and remarried and the baby will be my husband's first so it will be a really big deal for his family. I don't see anything wrong with having a second shower. I do like your meet and greet idea though too.
My son just turned 3 so I guess that is far apart.
Petanka - no my mil isn't that great. She's the type of lady who is very closed minded and likes to have appearances. She is definately not the most approachable person. Her parties have been described as quite boring because she is very 'traditional'.
I am in the same boat as you. I was considering having a big lunch with all of my friends and family at a local Restaurant. Kind of a like a last meal with everyone before all hell breaks loose at the Brooks' household. I wasn't planning on registering for much just some big stuff that I know the immediate family will take care of, like a double stroller. The only problem that I can see is getting all of the phone calls asking where I am registered at. I was also thinking of maybe having a Diaper Party and just asking everyone to bring a pack of diapers to the lunch.
i think that baby showers more than once are ok. I mean you said that you have a boy and now you are having a girl. A good friend of mine has 5 girls and had only one baby shower(as she did not feel right having another) but since she was having a boy this time, me and he eldest daughter threw her a baby shower for the boy. Everyone that came to the shower was elated at the new baby soon to be here. they brought diapers and wipes(you can always use those) Boy items, gift certificates, just little stuff to hep out, but since she already had everything else ( crib, Carseat, swing,ect) we all chiped in and got her a double stroller since the youngest girl and the baby boy will be 16 months apart. Just some ideas. Congrats on baby girl
If your MIL wants to throw you a baby shower I say let her. If you have plenty of cloths tell her to tell people to bring a dish that you can freeze so when you get home from the hospital most of your supper meals are easily thrown into the oven to heat them up. I say the more baby supplies the better.
I really like the idea of a meet and greet after the baby is born. You could let guests know what brand of diapers, forumla
and bottles (if you're using them) and they could bring that if they want to bring gifts. Or gift certificates for you so you can have some "mommy time"
I feel the same way. This is my second baby. With my DD I was on bed rest so my sis & Mom threw me a shower in my house with just my cousins so I kind of missed out on a real shower. But for your second you could also ask everyone to bring a book for the baby to start a library!
Most of my friends have a shower for every baby. I think it is especially okay if you are having the opposite sex of last time. Your firends probably do want to come to a shower for you, but just need some ideas of what to bring. It is okay for you to include a list of ideas with the invite if you don't want to register. Still, if you feel uncomfortable having a shower, the meet and greet idea is a good one. Most people will feel like they should bring a gift either way though.
If someone wants to give you a baby shower, let them. Even if you get gifts you won't use, who cares (give them to a charity or a friend who can use it), I'm sure it will be fun to get together with friends and family. Its only tacky if you are the one who is hosting your own shower. Most people actually jump at the chance to go to showers of any kind. You could tell MIL to have some kind of a theme, or diapers and wipes like someone else said, or books.
My shower is this evening and I can't wait. Although I've come to hate registries. In theory, they are wonderful, but I am always amazed at how many people still can't get the concept that if it has already been "fulfilled" then don't buy another. I have 3 or 4 items that show 2 people bought it (and no I'm not having twins, and these are items that you would only need one). Oh well.
if your new on here welcome. usually we dont post a new question on anothers thread unless it says open forum. you will recieve more answers if you post yourself a new one. if you search the archives you will find lots of info regarding your pos as lots of women have discussed this issue.
A friend of mine had a meet and greet bbq for her 2nd dd when she was about 2-3 months old. Gifts were optional, which of course everyone brought. I was great because everyone got to SEE the baby and mama was able to indulge with an adult beverage. (She was not breast feeding)
Guys, how's everyone out there? This site is really great.
I want you guys to help me with this problem of mine,with those guys that knew about my case, I have gotten the name of the problem, it (POLYCYSTIC OVARIAN SYNDROME) how can you be of help? how do i solve this problem? I live and work in China where I'm having problems of communicating.Whatever you think, please dont esitate to bail me out of this problem of mine as i really need a child now. thank you all, and love from my family.
It sounds like your biggest concern is the possibility of putting your friends out...maybe you should talk with your closest friends and ask how they feel about another baby shower. Or maybe you could keep the baby shower to strictly relative participation.
Personally, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't have another baby shower considering your second child is a different gender (meaning you need lots of new clothes, etc) and it's been three years since your last baby's birth. Ultimately, it comes down to your comfort level...if you don't feel comfortable having a shower talk with your mom about other options...a baby luncheon sounds like a great idea. Otherwise, enjoy the extra attention...you deserve it! :)
i read a poll in one of the "parent" magazine that some felt it wasnt right to have a second shower. i gave my sis one for her second baby. i see nothing wrong with it. it was a great celebration for her son. i did read once in a magazine that some do a mother shower. gift cert for her to have a pedicure or massage or dine at a restaurant. that would be cool too. what about co ed showers? anybody have one? if someone is really concerned maybe like a previous poster said have a meet the baby gathering and you know that everyone will want to participate without it seeming like a have to.
Ettiquite wise you really aren't supposed to have a shower. In your situation I would highly recommend the meet and greet. Chances are most people will bring gifts (everyone likes to buy baby gifts) but there won't be an obligation. A shower requires a gift. That is what a shower is. I know in some social circles it is normal to have a shower with each pregnancy. But it is still against "good manners" and all of that.
I love the idea of a meet and greet, quite frankly.
I'm not saying that people shouldn't do what they want to do or anything like that, I'm just pointing out that it isn't proper form. While on the subject family is not supposed to throw you a shower. They are too close to you and it gives off the appearance that you are just seeking gifts. This isn't my opinion, but the opinion of the ettiquite experts. I wouldn't let my mother-in-law or mother throw me a shower for this reason, as they really are too close.
In the end it is your decision, but I think you came up with the perfect solution with a meet and greet. Plus, who wouldn't want to get to actually see the baby?
And a shower is a welcoming to motherhood. It's supposed to be about the change of life you are about to go through, it isn't actually supposed to be about the baby at all. Which is why it isn't proper to have baby showers for baby number 2, 3, and so on. It's to celebrate you and your new life.
So, I guess I disagree with most on this thread, but you did ask for opinions.
How about suggesting a diaper shower? Formula too if you don't breastfeed. Those two things can add up very quickly. I told people who wanted to know what we needed for our second set of twins that gift cards for Walmart or Target!
Hey girls have you ever thought of how crazy it sounds if you want to have baby showers for all your babies no matter the gender or space btw babies.
It's like it's such a huge NONO in so many ways yet Don't we all have ea one of our kids a Bday party Every Year no matter the age. And we do this to celebrate our children for what they mean to us & our friends & family &what they accomplish & will continue to accomplish.
SO I say Party & celebrate this new babe in whatever makes you feel great, from showers to meet & greet. Just don't let anyone make you feel bad, after all this is a whole NEW unique little person. (I told MIL no to a house warming she was going to have for me bc several years ago I felt that I had only gotten married less than 2yrs before & did not want to make people feel like I was trying to get more out of them I guess you could say) But wow a BABE is sooo much more of an amazing event than a home can ever be, I know I've built our home but having my BABY & w/#2 on the way I just think if someone wants to pamper you, you let them. Sometimes people just want to bless us:) Good luck on whatever you do. Diaper parties are great for the second time around:) LOVE & PRAYERS THe people that make up these so called Classy ways to be, probably never even had a hubby, let alone 2 kids or more:)
honestly i dont like the idea of a second shower. while i would love it as i am pregnant with my 2nd, I would feel a litte put out if i were invited to one. Showers are really only exciting for those who are having the baby and maybe close family members. for the others, its 4 hours shot on a weekend and more money out of their pockets. i dont mean to sound so negative but I know Im not the only one who feels this way. I do however like your meet and greet idea. people will definately get gifts for hte baby when it is born.
I agree....stop posting the same question in everybody else's question and start your own question thread...I'm not being rude but it's a little distracting reading someone else's question while you're contemplating an answer for the original person. Also it just sounds like you don't really care about that person's problem and you want to divert everyone to your own...do you know what I mean? Sorry if it sounds rude - I'm just trying to be honest. We'll be happy to answer you if you post your own individual question thread though.
Regarding the second baby shower I agree totally with Morgan277 (sorry if I got the nickname wrong). I would think having a second baby shower regardless of the sex a bit much. I understand that every child is worth celebrating, but if I had that motto I'd be on my fourth baby shower and I don't know how well that would go down here! I agree it's wonderful that you are pregnant again especially with a girl this time, given that you have a boy and also that you have had a m/c, however if you don't make a stand to your MIL about how you feel about this then she'll assume this kind of control over many other situations and you'll remain silent so as not to offend. Look, if you want to do it, then do it, but personally I think a meet and greet celebration is far better option as people will want to see your new baby and will no doubt give you gifts when they do anyway! It's up to you...please don't be offended by my opinion.
Im really sorry for disturbing your chats but i tried to send my own question but the site was full for the day so I couldn't.
I was in pain of what i never understood and needed an advice urgently and its all been thrown at my face.
Thanks anyway, maybe I was expecting too much from people on this site. I'm sorry.bye.
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P.S. It is best to post on a thread that says "OPEN FORUM" if you want your question to be noticed. In the box that says "Comment to:" you can say NEW QUESTION, or QUESTION ABOUT PCOS. No offense here, just advice I hope will help.
Hi there...Understand you are from China, you can access questions from may be by 9 to 9.30 in the evening there, that's when it is about 9.30 to 10 in the morning in the U.S.This is precisely the reason you were not able to post your own question if you try before that.
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sorry if you think we are being rude but we are all on here with some sort of problem, looking for support and trying to support others. we do the best we can. i just dont think its fair for you to want us all to switch gears for YOU on someone else's thread. If someone has an answer for you, they will get to you. hang in there.
I say if you MIL wants to throw you a shower you should go ahead and accept - Do you have different people you could invite to this one maybe so you won't feel weird about having the same people buying something for you???? If you were having another boy I would think it would not be wise to have one BUT you are having a little girl so it is like starting over. Have fun.
I think it's nice to have a party to hooking up with friends, but some people may interpret it as a reach for asking presents from the guests especially if the guests end up to be giving and don't expect to receive. When it comes to showers, etc., it's really a give and take situation. What's given is often expected to be returned in time. I am debating over who should attend the shower because some people may think that they are only invited because they are expected to buy a present.
If you make it clear that it's a party and presents are not expected, then it can be quite fun since the burden is off the guests.
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