What is a good age gap between children?

DF and I are discussing when to start TTC our second child... aubree is 7 months old right now and we are wondering what is a good age gap between them? and why?

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21%

 (6) 

About 1 year .. have them close

50%

 (14) 

at least 2 years

21%

 (6) 

3 years definatly

7%

 (2) 

4 or more years

28 Members voted

[Darkestlight]

I put atleast two years but Well I wanted my kinda kinda close together and when baby #2 is born allie will be around 21 or 22 months. So I think thats a great age. I'm very happy with how we did it. Allie will be old enough that i can make her feel non neglected. I'll be able to let her help mommy out with the new baby and things like that. She will be able to understand to some extent.

[pertykitty]

i think it depends on what you can handle, financially, what you feel is a great age gap  ect.   my kids are 10 yrs apart.  i didnt plan it that way but long story short that is what happens sometimes.  for us its a great gap my son is so helpful.  HOWEVER my dd wont have a sibling that can play on her level.  id like another so she can have that.  i have seen moms who have them too close together and they cant handle the stress.  they yell and spank and wish those "brats" would go to sleep.  you have to figure out what you can endure.

[Whitneylauren]

Pertykitty is right... it totally depends on the stress level of the parent. I have a girlfriend who has 3 kids ages 4, 2 and 1. I saw her go from easy going, loving mom to stressed out, yelling, cursing mother.... and her kids are always screaming for attention because they never have enough.

I voted at least 3 years. I am a firm believer that every child needs personal one on one developmental time with a parent before another is introduced. My son just turned 4, he is now more autonomous, attending preschool and playing with friends. We are due in March (another boy) and I couldn't be happier with the age gap.

[waitingwithhope]

Interesting, I was thinking of posting this poll myself today!! :) My older (now teenage) children are 14 months apart and best friends, the rest of my kids have much bigger gaps. If you can handle it, it is great to have them close together...but it is all in what you feel you can manage.

[kellym]

With your age, you have lots of  options. I am 35, have 2 kids 19 1/2 mo's apart and am trying for the 3rd. I love that my ds is crawling around after his 2 year old sister because he loves her so much. She likes to boss him, they are funny!  I hope they will be the best of friends. AND, maybe I can squeeze a #4 in? ha ha ha...

[vsentz]

Aweeee ANG!!!!!! =))) are you gonna TTC soon?!?!?!?! I think we are getting the TTC flu here on MH! lol ;) that would be awesome!
Me and dh would wait until I can find a work-from-home type job and him an over-all better one! then we'll start talking, but we definitely are considering expanding our family sooner rather than later. Babies and kids are such a joy!!!! I'd love to see Maddie with a baby sister or brother! but I'd like her to be a little older and not depend on me this much so I can focus on baby #2 better. =)

Kelly!!! is B crawling?!?!?!?!?! geeeesh! looks like miss M is really skipping that! =S
she had her first boo-boo trying to crawl the other night and she refuses to try now! she gets very frustrated and starts screaming! lol

[pinkbelle]

Hey V... yea I saw a newborn the other day and thought aweeee... but after today man.. I think Im gonna wait at least a year ... aubree has been miss crank butt all week and Im about to pull my hair out!  

I know I don't want them any more than 2 or 2 1/2 years apart.. so Maybe in 2010 we will start ttc...

oh and I think maddie needs a baby brother so she can pick on him ; )

[Jen8950]

i wanted mine to be 3 years or so apart. but unfortunatly mine will be 6 years apart. Which maybe it won't be that bad. I'm a little nervous b/c Sean has been an only child for so long. I hope he don't freak out. but he seems to be excited.

[cantwait4baby]

Well i can tell you the exact age because my daughter had to go to a neurologist a few times and I asked the doctor what the best age gap was and he said either right away - One year apart  - they are too young to realize they are not the only baby or 3 Years when they are old enough to know the difference and take part in the new baby.

Makes Sense

Now - on to me - mine will be exactly 2 years apart - what he said was the worst gap becuase two year olds are not easy when it comes to sharing their loved ones.  So I did not listen very well and looks like I am in for it. haha

[SeeingSpots]

I'm with kellym, and for us our ages had a lot to do with our decision... we waited 5 years before having our first so that we were financially stable enough for me to be a SAHM, so we got a later start; I am 36 now and my DH is 40. My first son is 25 months old, my second is 10 months, and I am now 21 wks pregnant with our third child.  (I got pregnant with the last two 6 months after the prior birth, and before ever getting my period back- but we weren't trying to prevent it, as we wanted the kids as close together as possible).
It is a LOT of work having two this close in age, and I imagine a third will be more so.  However there are a lot of benefits to having them close.  Already my two sons LOVE playing together and are close enough that they actually share some of the same toys... they'll be able to play on a lot of the same sports teams... they're in the same Sunday School nursery together for support... they both can go to the same "Mommy & Me" playgroup and enjoy the age appropriate activities... we can use a lot of the same baby equipment (ie: carseats have expiration dates, our kids are close enough apart that when one outgrows it we can reuse it for the next- since we've not had any accidents)... we will be through the whole diaper-changing routine in a shorter amount of time, since our kids will be potty training about 1 yr a part (instead of getting one potty trained, and then starting all over with diapering another baby)... my maternity clothes are still in style at this point... and finally, I'll be done with having all our kids and then can work on getting my figure back! :)
I don't feel like my first son has suffered at all from me having another so close in age.  From everything I've been told, kids under two really don't understand a lot of sibling rilvary or jealousy... to them it "just is the way it is".  Plus, newborns sleep so much that for the first few months there is plenty of oportunity to shower the older child with lots of one-on-one attention.  My boys share a room and we have a wireless camera system (night vision) set up in there for us to monitor them; there's nothing cuter than seeing my older son call over from his bed to the younger, "Night night, Alden"; or seeing them both giggling in the morning as they make faces at each other.

[Mumita]

I want to have my kids very close in age for the same reasons that Seeingspots said.  i want them to be able to share similar things together and not feel like one is way older than the other.  hopefully I'll get pregnant soon after the first one is born.

[cutiemama_]

I'm a Sahm and because of that I felt that 3 years was ideal between my kids. For me the 3 year gap meant the older child was in school half a day, out of diapers, and really pretty self-sufficient which made caring for a newborn alot easier. My 3 year old was also able to really participate in helping care for her little sister and her role as a little mommy was met with tremendous enthusiasm. At the same time, they are close enough together to still enjoy alot of the same thing now like movies, dress up, amusement parks, etc now that one's 5 and the other is 2.