What would you do?

[Mikeal'smom]

Hello, many of you have seen me around and answered some of my questions and I am so grateful for this site, and I have one more question for you but first a little history.  Dh and I have been ttc for almost 3yrs now with 3m/c since ds was born.  I had IUI w/clomid in january and February, took March off, did clomid and timed bd in april and may, got pg (in may) and m/c in june, took july off, and did clomid and timed bd'ing in August (got +okp yesterday and today). Well,I just got a call from my infertility nurse, she talked to my doc and he still wants dh to do 3 more IUI's with clomid instead of the shots. He says there are less side effects and we still have a good chance of getting pg. He did say if we wanted to do the shots he wouldn't tell us no, so it's up to us. But I have already done six rounds of clomid in the last year, it seems like we aren't moving forward.  I also found out that with my insurance, if dh and I do one more round of clomid (or shots) and IUI, than we can move onto IVF.  So my question to you all is, if this were you, would you do 3 more IUI's w/clomid, the shots and IUI's, or would you do the last round of IUI and go onto IVF, and why would you chose the option.  I know this is a very personal thing and that no one can give me the answer, but since no one I know has ever gone through this, you ladies are the only ones I can really talked to and get good advice from, it's always nice to have other's opionions.  I really appreciate all your help, you ladies on this site are the best!

[Harley-girl]

Well you know that you can get pregnant but for whatever reason you are having miscarrages. If I were u I would do the last IUI with Clomid as required by your ins and then move onto IVF. Maybe that is what is needed by your body to have the sperm and egg meet in a controlled setting and placed inside of you. Maybe the miscarriages are due to them not meeting up accurately inside you and then passing due to abnormalaties.
I lucked out and got pregnant with Clomid alone however my infertility specialist out of Chicago said he WILL NOT do the Clomid, IUI and injections. Said it is no more successful than just Clomid and IUI. He gives it 3 chances at working and then on to IVF.
Good Luck I have been rooting for you for a long time and cannot wait until you get a BFP with a nice sticky baby.
               Hugs and baby dust, Kelly

[hawki]

Well, I'd like to help you now if I can:)  Prob, not, but I can't believe what you are going through!  I'm so sorry.  I've actually thought a lot about these options since I very well may be presented with them someday.  As easy as it is to do IVF, I don't know if I would want that unless as a last resort.  I just sort of feel like it takes away from the natural process of it...not that IUI's or anything for that matter is natural, but it just seems REALLY unnatural.  BUT, in your position, I am sure that I would be so frustrated at this point, especially if you feel like you're not moving forward, as I can somewhat relate on a smaller scale.  It really is something you and your husband will have to do some soul searching about.  I have a Christian faith, and that has been my rock through everything including this.  I know that I'll get uptight and nervous and frustrated, but I just know deep down that there is someone else in control, and when it's supposed to happen it will happen.  THen again, I think, why can't it just happen so I know it can?  Or, why can't I just be given some reassurance that it will happen?  Well, I hope that the wonderful people in your life, including your dr is that reassurance on earth for you.  Keep us posted on what you decide, and it will happen, no matter what you decide:)  Good luck!

[misseltoe]

Well, I wouldn't do more than one more round with the clomid.  Many doctors say no more than six rounds of clomid for your lifetime.  If one more IUI leads to IVF then that is what I'd do.  It seems that you are having some kind of complication and the IUI, though getting you pregnant, just isn't working.  Maybe they can fix that through IVF.  I'm very sorry for your losses.

[Tasha456]

I would pick the IUI and then move to IVF.

I would choose this for the reason you stated.. you dont seem to be moving forward and if your insurance will pay for it then IVF is a good step.

[myproblem]

I say whatever route is likely to get you a baby the fastest is the best route to take at this point. Did you find a cause for the m/c? If you don't know the cause yet, then even IVF may not help. I hope you can find the reason, so you can hope to prevent more m/c in the future. Good luck.

[Mikeal'smom]

Thank you all so much for your responses.

I think dh and I will do the last round of clomid and IUI to get it out of the way.  IVF seems so scary and invasive, but I'm begining to think it won't happen without it- my faith in the whole process is just plain worn out.

Keep your fingers crossed for me though, I got a +opk yesterday and today, and dh and I bd on sat, sun, and will bd today and tomorrow just to cover our bases.  Dh keeps telling me "I'm not a piece of meat you know, I have feelings too." After he says this he has a big old grin on his face- it must be so tough to be him! LOL!

Well, good luck to you all, and thank you for your support.

[Mikeal'smom]

No, we don't know the cause of the m/c.  I still wonder if it has something to do with the fact that, with the last two m/c, I have had an ovarian cyst rupture right before I m/c.  We have had all of the tests done that we can: shg, hsg, chromosome, thyroid, etc.  but nothing has turned up.  Supposidly it's just an unfortunate occurance with no connections.  Thanks though!

[auntlugu]

I have heard of this happening so many times on this site.  That dr's say its a miscarriage waiting to happen it is is just to early to see on the ultrasound.  Did she go back on the medicine?  Maybe she should.  Its not over until its over.  There is always hope and I wish you luck

PS My cousin had the same thing happen.  They told her the sac was abnormally large and her daughter is 8 months old and beautiful

[Harley-girl]

I think u meant to post on the thread that is one up.

[projectbaby]

I understand your situation completely...I have also done 6 rounds of clomid and had allllll the testing done that you could possibly do.... I did get pg. on my first round, but nothing since...They wanted us to move onto the injectables but they were afraid that I would produce 7-8 eggs at a time (therefore 7-8 embryos!!!!) and they said that they then would have to do selective reduction...and I cannot do that.... It's my personal choice as I don't believe in aborting a baby...so this was an easy decision for me.... anyway, our next move is to IVF... so I think you should go for it!!!  I have all ready so much on this (I read, "The Inferitiliy Survival Handbook" by Elizabeth Swire Falker)...this book truly helped me and it explained so many things, options, etc....  Well, good luck in your choice and if you need other questions answered... I am here for you!!!! Jacquie

[Mikeal'smom]

I wish it wasn't this way, but it is nice to hear from someone who is in the same place we are.  I will look into that book, I'll probably go to the bookstore tonight.  I, too, do not believe in selective reduction, neither does my dh.  When I approached him about the possibility of having twins or more, he said "well, however many we have we will have to figure it out and make it work." I have to say I was a little shocked, selective reduction, or abortion was not something we had ever talked about.  Thank you so much for sharing your story- I really hope that your bfp comes soon.

[projectbaby]

Oh, I wanted to mention that we only chose IVF because they can better control the amount of embryo's that are placed back in the uterus...I don't know what I would do if I was pg. with 7-8 babies... I know I couldn't do anything, and that is why we chose not to do the injectable cycle with IUI....  SO, on the 22nd...we go for our first concult with the IVF team.....  Let me know what you think about the book..it gives lots of details, just to warn you.....   good luck and I hope you too get your BFP soon!!!! Jacquie

[LUVBABIES]

Hi I too did chlomid-only 6months though i got antsy so we went artificial insemination(timing the sex with hubby was robotic but still kinda "natural") 1 round didn't take so again didn't want to want to waste precious time sooo forget "natural" laboratory here I come ...jumped on IVF banned wagon

*note*  whatever get's YOU closer to your goal DO IT!!!

[diamondtracy]

well were in a similar boat , we've been trying since Feb, were having our 3rd IUI with clomid and fsh shots(but a higher dose)I just started the shots again yesterday and hopefully it works this month, we took june and july off so maybe that will help.The main problem we have is a limited amount of sperm(we only have 4 viles left due to a testicular cancer scare) So if it doesn't work this cycle were debating about waiting a while and saving some money for IVF, insurance doesn't cover it and in Canada and it costs around $13,000.00. Which we really can't afford but we also don't want to waste all of our sperm on IUI that aren't working.But I think we all have to try and stay positive maybe this is our month!! I'll keep you all updated.Baby dust to all TTC'ers!!